Blue_Opossum

Morning of August 1, 2018. Wednesday.

Reading time: 1 min 9 sec. Readability score: 58.



In the first part of my dream, there are associations with lucid dream experiments I did in my childhood. Mainly, it is my development of a field as a setting, to give me open options. It involved closing my eyes while running through the area and eventually opening them after deliberately running for a long time. In one of my most vivid lucid dream experiments of that time, I opened my eyes and found myself at the top of a tower, having no perception of running up the spiral stairs, but recognizing it as the emerging consciousness factor. After looking out over a beautiful landscape, I phased through the wall and flew up and out of my dream, maintaining perfect vestibular system correlation.

In my dream, there is communication with another dream journalist. He talks about his “power” based on what I had written in my journal when I was very young. It involves creating the field setting, running very fast, though while counting to seven, and teleporting to a random location. The results are vague. I am not a dream character, only a distant observer to his antics.

Later, he is writing a response to how another experiment turned out. That one is more like one of those fake personality tests on the Internet and which some Facebook users post the results of (which is ultimately pointless).

In this case, he takes several of the same tests. It involves connecting random dots inside a random circular pattern. The results are different each time, though that is likely because he connects the dots differently each time.

He seems to be annoyed by the different results based on his different choices and starts writing about “apologists for life” in the comment section.

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Morning of May 27, 1995. Saturday.



I find myself in the backyard of the Cubitis property in late morning. I vaguely recall a childhood dream (same setting and time) where a flying saucer hovered above me, casting a large round shadow over an area of the backyard and upon me. I am not viably lucid (that is, I remain unaware that I am dreaming), but there is faux lucidity where I illogically make the connections as relevant to presumed reality. I find the situation more interesting than threatening.

Zsuzsanna is present in the living room, looking through the east windows. I tell her of how this has happened before, and that the last time, I ran south, somehow vertically running straight down the side of a ravine, then running horizontally on the ground and across the surface of the river, and running vertically straight up the other side to continue running normally.

As I decide to attempt this again (even after over twenty-five years), I look back as I start to cheerfully run and see it is not a flying saucer but a hot air balloon. This puzzles me and instead of running straight down the side of the deep ravine as I near it, I awake with a slight falling sensation and with a mild hypnopompic kick. I am close to laughing aloud shortly after waking.

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Liminal space fallacy: This is a specific type of faux lucidity, where I attempt to duplicate an event from an older dream without realizing I am dreaming, yet I also perceive my situation as only my dream self could in a dream. Even so, this faux reasoning is something that could not occur in consciousness, and additionally, cannot even be logically perceived or resolved as even being possible, yet it is, as I am very familiar with its dynamics. For me, this proves that dreams are of an entirely different nature, purpose, and meaning than what most people claim.

Faux threads: Cubitis has not been my home since June 1978. Zsuzsanna has never been to America. The shadow was cast in the wrong direction (oriented southerly instead of westerly). There were no deeper ravines near where I lived. It is not possible to run vertically down or up the side of a ravine or run over the surface of a river.

Literal threads: Zsuzsanna’s presence, genuine recall of a childhood dream from 1969.

Current thread: Zsuzsanna’s presence only (that is, no viable recall of any other current life status, including our present address).

Vestibular system thread: The hot air balloon, in addition to being associated with breathing while sleeping, was biologically premonitory of the hypnopompic kick. (Falling in a dream is usually the result of natural vestibular system ambiguity by inherently not being able to balance the imaginary dream body in unconsciousness. As such, it is unrelated to the popular myth of “interpretation”.)

Emergent consciousness thread: The hot air balloon’s shadow signifies the looming essence of the conscious self and the inevitability of waking. This implies a different form of RAS mediation than when the preconscious is dominantly personified to rouse the emergent consciousness thread.

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Early evening of July 27, 2017. Thursday.

Dream #: 8,483-07. Reading time: 1 min 10 sec.



Precursory (vestibular): I enter my dream self’s imaginary physical body and find myself running. I am Grant Williams as Scott Carey in the 1957 movie “The Incredible Shrinking Man.” I am running over the top of a series of cardboard boxes on about the fourth shelf up of a metal utility shelving unit. I am about four inches tall. I do not seem to be running because of a threat, just running along. (“On the shelf” is autosymbolism that is analogous to being in bed. The closed boxes represent the inability to move my body while sleeping, yet I am running on them as I still subliminally perceive my muscularity.)

Virtual witness integration: Zsuzsanna, appearing somewhat like a 1950s actress, is running behind me, though to my left. There is a heightened sense of energy. (This short dream occurred at about 5:30 pm AEST during a nap. Zsuzsanna was in bed with me at the time. She was to my left because she was to my left in bed, and behind me, because I was closer to waking as liminally perceived by my dream self.)

The drop: Soon, I see the scene from an incorporeal viewpoint from the front of the shelving unit. “We” are running from left to right. Grant Williams as Scott Carey as “me,” running at an angle, runs straight off the cardboard box from off the front of the shelf and falls to the floor onto his right side and kicks. Simultaneously, I experience a mild hypnopompic kick and upper back spasm as I realize the residual imagery reflects my sleeping position. (I am looking down at my body.)

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This July 27, 2017 dream is a fictitious scene from “The Incredible Shrinking Man.” Grant Williams died on July 28, 1985.

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Morning of August 13, 1972. Sunday. (Online entry extensively expanded for additional background and clarity and resupplemented on Friday, 1 September 2017.)



This dream, from age eleven and during summer break after completion of fifth grade on June 2nd, occurs in the state of apex lucidity, where my dream self is fully corporeal, including in weight and momentum, with all the physical dynamics and augmented senses as in waking life. In this state, full control can be maintained by the conscious self identity. Since age four, I had been involved in my own continuous experiments with the dream state, including, on some days, several hours of specific affirmations (and other types of preparations) prior to sleep.

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In reality, I am sleeping on my back, my feet southward. The foot and right side of my bed are against walls with tall jalousie windows with the head of my bed being open into my room. The entrance to my room is to my left, on the opposite side of my room. Although it is daylight, my eyes are covered with a pillowcase (of an additional pillow than the one my head is on) from behind my head.

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Surprisingly, there is still some vivid hypnagogia, where I am still able to willingly return to the dream state. The hypnagogic virtual “slideshow” is slow enough to eventually choose the setting that I want to “step into”. However, because it is morning and circadian rhythms dictate that most of my sleep cycle is over, most of the settings (cycling at about one per second) display primarily featureless fields, though there is still the residual essence of water (which symbolizes sleep dynamics and the metaphorical tidal aspects of dreaming that seem to be based more on the glymphatic clearance pathway rather than always correlated with Earth’s tidal dynamics). I step into a setting without surrendering my conscious self identity.

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I step onto slightly damp ground, somewhat marshy and squashy. The grass is nearly up to my knees, though sparse in some areas. I decide to see what would happen if I run with my eyes closed. Would my dream change?

I start happily running barefoot and I feel as if I have a lot of energy. I keep my eyes open for a few minutes. The open field is slightly less marshy over time (the “water lowering” waking symbolism precursor, which has been documented hundreds of times since childhood and still works as such over fifty years later).

I continue to run, now with my eyes deliberately closed, through the slightly muddy grassy field. The marshy ground is bordered by drier ground with denser and shorter grass as I run joyfully, with an incredible sense of freedom and appreciation. The sound changes slowly over time, from my footfalls producing shallow splashes of water (which I find wonderful) to the slaps of drier ground. There are no buildings visible anywhere, including in the distance.

Eventually, I decide to open my dream self’s eyes to see where I am now. Despite the continuous vivid perception up until now of cheerfully running through an open field in mid-afternoon, I now suddenly find myself at the top of a tall ivory tower, looking out over mostly featureless grassy ground. (The tower mostly resembles the Sather Tower, which I have never been inside in reality.) I puzzle over this change. I do not recall running up a winding staircase (or changing direction as such, which would have been required in the implied smaller area) which my present location would seem to indicate (though I do not know what the inside of the Sather Tower is like).

My puzzlement increases and I decide to leave my dream (though remaining curious about the results of my experiment), which I do deliberately by phasing out of my dream self’s body, phasing through the wall of the tower behind my dream self’s body, and flying up and out of my dream (a recurring way I deliberately left the dream state by way of my conscious self identity, more so in my childhood and teenage years).

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In post-hypnopompia, I realize that the tower was the rendering of my emergent consciousness, the symbol of my growing conscious self identity (which is sometimes personified as another character just as the preconscious sometimes is though I was the only dream character in this case), watching over the dream state, which relates to the experiment analogy (just as a person would look over the setup of their experiment). Additionally, there was an influence from Cathy Carr’s recording of “Ivory Tower” (from 1956). I actually feel as if I had been running for a long time, as my legs feel slightly tired (though there is no evidence I had been moving my legs or moving at all in reality).

Despite this dream being a result of apex lucidity, I can relate it to some waking life elements, one prescient. I began sixth grade August 28th (which was to be held in a different building), about two weeks after this dream, thus there may be a “testing” of seeing myself in a higher position. However, there is ambiguity with that concept in that, although my three middle school years (fall 1972-summer 1975) took place in a one-storey building, my earlier grade classes took place on the second floor (though that relates to physical dynamics, not emotional).

In terms of prescience, the specific date marker (which remains unexplainable in terms of what people understand about the perception of time, as same-date prescience occurs far too often to be coincidental) was based on never having been in a tower in real life until much later during a middle school summer break, with my sister Carol (older half-sister on my mother’s side) and her husband Mel, which I had never expected. (I did not even know they would be coming to Florida until about a week before their visit.) This was a journey to the top of the Lake Placid Tower in Florida, which was a wonderful day for me.

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Morning of April 26, 1972. Wednesday.



I am walking in a large field, apparently in an area in or near Arcadia, traveling north with Steve J, Tina L, Kenneth H, and a few others. The sun is to the east at about fifty degrees altitude and it seems to be about noon or earlier. There is one area we pass that seems to be a cornfield. I do not see any buildings at this point. Much of the landscape is featureless.

After a short time, part of the sun “explodes” into sparks of about three different small sizes that almost immediately seem to be in Earth’s atmosphere as if the sun was just a large burning feature hovering in the sky not that far away. I hear a sizzling and notice a few small grass fires farther to the east.

We all start to run, but I go in a different direction more to the northwest (while the others mostly run north). I eventually hide in an unfamiliar old barn which is fairly dark. I decide to squat near a wooden half-wall of a stall. I eventually start to hear what sounds like older ladies talking. There soon seems to be a series of rude critical comments and gossip about other ladies who are likely not present, such as a particular hat being out of fashion, though there are nice comments about necklaces made of daisies and the merits of wearing the “right” cowbell and so on. This seems very strange and the supposed catastrophe eventually seems almost like a false memory within my dream - or at least something not to worry about.

The “ladies” that are talking (none of them notice me at any point and I do not directly see any of them) turn out to be cows and horses idly chatting in the barn. Oddly, this does not trigger lucidity and I mostly sit and listen to their gossip as my dream fades.

In a very similar dream or “reset” during the same morning, this time, right after I start running northwest, I seemingly become disembodied while taking to the air and then hover closely over an image of a small seemingly prehistoric lizard (it actually seemed to be a sort of olive-colored Florida chameleon) “frozen” in rock almost like some sort of powerful mystical fossil. It is me. It is apparently who and what I had always been - though maybe I am now in transition. I “realize” this as I wake. It almost seems hypnopompic.

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The lizard scene is a waking precursor as a sunrise metaphor. I am coming out of my being “embedded” in the fossil, analogous to waking, and the lizard represents the circadian rhythms symbol as such because lizards come out to sun themselves on rocks. The chameleon association relates to the dream self “changing” into the whole conscious self.

Night of November 19, 1971. Friday.

Dream #: 1,796-02. Reading time: 1 min 40 sec.



While in the Cubitis house’s living room, I hear on my mother’s radio (her pale green one that was sometimes atop our refrigerator) about a twister approaching from the west. I am concerned that Brenda does not know about it. I plan to go to her house to get her so that we can escape from it. (I do not see or consult my parents even though I am only ten years old, though this was typical in my childhood dreams.)

As with the majority of my dreams, features are incorrect without my dream self’s realization that they are. In this case, Brenda’s house is incorrectly east of my house (where the cow pasture is in real life) rather than north of it. Also, Arcadia is east of my home rather than south.

As the tornado is approaching, I go into Brenda’s house without knocking and say hello to her. (Neither her parents nor brothers are present.) We are suddenly in her kitchen. She looks annoyed with me and moves around a table to avoid me. I convince her of the danger, and she happily comes with me. We manage to avoid the tornado. It is seemingly a result of running in specific directions and being in particular places for a time, even though we seem to backtrack at times.

In the last scene, we are sitting at a big water fountain in an unknown city that seems to be a newly built resort. (The twister had supposedly destroyed it, but it was somehow quickly rebuilt while we were traveling. The tornado was there before us even though we were running from the opposite direction).

We eat sandwiches that had been in transparent sandwich bags (that it seems we were carrying even though this backstory did not have a foundation) and smile happily in the knowledge the worst is over. I have a vague sense we may be near Disney World. (It would be in a different location in reality as it seems we are not that far east of my house.)

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My dream coincided with the opening of Disney’s Fort Wilderness Resort and Campground in Orlando, Florida. I might have heard about it, so I am uncertain if it was a precognitive factor.

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The fountain and surrounding area now make me think of one of the first public places I went with my wife Zsuzsanna in Brisbane in 1994. It was like in my dream and with the same cheerful essence when I was with Zsuzsanna.

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Morning of April 4, 1971. Sunday.



My dream renders what is intended to be an area of the West Elementary school grounds for playing games, though it is in an incorrect (though not regarded as incorrect by my dream self) featureless location that is implied to be northwest of the elementary school building.

It seems to be late morning. My schoolmates are sitting in a circle and a game of “Duck, Duck, Goose” is in progress. In the back of my mind is a vague idea that I am in a movie that is presently being filmed (which was a recurring aspect of my childhood dreams that suggests subliminal conscious self awareness of being in the dream state, yet without viable lucidity).

In this version of “Duck, Duck, Goose” I am aware that the person who is caught is to eventually marry the person who catches them. I find myself walking clockwise in a circle around the seated group of our schoolmates, with Toby a few feet in front of me (even though there is only one “it” in “Duck, Duck, Goose”). Toby intends to tap Brenda on the head, much to my dismay. However, instead of Brenda being tapped and getting up to chase Toby, she dodges Toby’s attempt to tap her and the roles become reversed. Toby ends up chasing Brenda around the circular group of seated schoolmates.

I decide to start running after her as well, to get to her before Toby does, though I remain at a distance. Still, Toby never comes any closer to her than about six feet. We run around and around and it seems to go on for a long time. The three of us never leave the circle to run elsewhere. For a time, I contemplate the adult paperback Western “The War on Charity Ross” (by Jack M. Bickham), which I had recently read. I start to contemplate that this event is “The War on Brenda Wilson”. There is a sense of drama and anticipation, though my dream eventually fades without a victor.

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The failure of my personified subconscious to perceive the setting as wrong yet still possess the memory of a paperback I had recently read is typical of the unusual erroneous neural gating of the dream state.

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My dream designates Brenda as the Vestibular System Personification (a waking alert factor which RAS mediates due to the biological vestibular system ambiguity of being unconscious), though she does not fall or fly but runs in a circle, though there is the implied vestibular-system-based flight symbol of being a “goose”.

Even here at age ten, my dream self was thinking of life partnership. Brenda was validated, in a prescient sense, to symbolize Zsuzsanna long before we met (even though Zsuzsanna often appeared literally as herself, though sometimes as part of a composite which also integrated Brenda, even directly before Zsuzsanna first made contact with me, mainly because I did not learn that Zsuzsanna was a real person until March 1991). Zsuzsanna and I were married on April 9, 1994. (One of the stories she wrote when she was fourteen was called “Wilson’s Dream”, which was about dream state adventures into other worlds. Her first tribal name from the PAIA was “Magic Pen”, which I viewed as a play on female swan, which has a loose association with “Duck, Duck, Goose”.)

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This online dream journal entry was reformatted from the source material, abridged, and clarified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018.

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