• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Christmas Carols at the Checkout

      by , 09-22-2017 at 12:34 PM
      Morning of September 22, 2017. Friday.

      I am near the front area in a store, which is much like the Woolworths grocery store we presently shop at. I am not sure of the time but it seems to be morning. I am with my wife Zsuzsanna but there are also several unknown people present. A man who looks like Javier Bardem is near one of the aisles adjacent to one end of the store (the left when inside the store).

      There is some intimacy with Zsuzsanna (mainly due to ambiguous associations of the store also somehow being of our present home). Later, another female, unfamiliar, is present. There also seems to be some sort of Christmas mood, as at least one person is talking about Christmas music. I am not sure if the other female is implied to be Javier’s wife (though is not in reality). I loudly and sarcastically sing with a sustained vocal, a line from “Oh Holy Night”, which is “Fall on your knees”, a line a classmate used to be sarcastic about. (This is due to randomly reading about the song “Lola” by The Kinks yesterday, which has the suggestive line, “I got down on my knees”, though I already knew everything about this song.) The female is now sitting on the floor on her knees. I soon have the awareness that it is time to leave the store, yet which is also supposedly now more clearly the bedroom of our present home (and yet it is still Woolworths despite the blankets on the floor). I do not reflect upon this impossibility (I am not viably lucid, so thus I am not aware of the very common lifelong symbolism of a checkout being a dream’s end marker due to it being a common metaphor for “checking out” of the dream state.)

      Javier is packing something into a bag. (I loosely associate it with the bag Santa Claus carries around in popular myth.) It is sitting to the right of the last checkout access inside the store, on the left of the store. I absentmindedly place an unplugged alarm clock into the same bag. (This is an obvious subliminal attempt at reinduction to stop any waking prompt neural energy.) I also notice what I think are a pair of my blue jeans in the bag. I take them out of the bag (though I am not sure if I am wearing anything in my dream as I am not focused on that presently), though leave the unplugged alarm clock in the bag. Javier looks at me with a very annoyed expression. I get the impression that the blue jeans are his, and the clock is mine (though this is not certain).

      “What are you doing?” he says with visible irritation. “It’s time to leave the dream state. Plug that thing back in.” I put the pants back into the bag, but soon wake, while still holding the unplugged alarm clock.

      The checkout of a store has been a common end marker in my dreams since early childhood, yet I (or rather my clueless non-lucid ephemeral dream self identity) almost always forget this dynamic (though even in lucid dreams it is sometimes automatically rendered as such, though not usually in apex lucidity). Plus, even though the preconscious is almost always a different character, I often still do not recognize this very distinct energy and persona even after fifty years. (This is probably a biological safeguard.) Being undressed in public is simply a residual memory of having fallen asleep (as I do not wear clothes to bed).

      Updated 09-23-2017 at 05:12 AM by 1390

    2. Lego World Nautilus

      by , 09-22-2017 at 10:07 AM
      Morning of September 22, 2017. Friday.

      In my dream, we are living in a distorted version of the Loomis Street house (where I have not been since February of 1994 and where Zsuzsanna and our children had never been). However, I have no recall that it was actually my sister Marilyn and her husband (of whom I have no thoughts of at all in my dream) whose house it mainly was.

      In the first part of my dream, I am watching a nautilus on top of the kitchen counter. Rather than this part of the kitchen counter being in the actual kitchen along the west wall, it is along the west wall of the dining room left of the west doorway. I had been sitting at the dining room table. Although the nautilus is otherwise a water denizen (and probably a feature of the very common water induction as dream state initiation), it moves along the counter, seemingly healthy, seemingly breathing the air. I feed it some pieces of cereal and watch it eat. It faces to the left in profile.

      Over time, I realize that the nautilus was part of an aquarium based on Lego block creations. There are an unrealistic number of boxes of Lego kits throughout the living room and dining room. The aquarium with the Lego features in it belongs to our youngest son. In the later scene, after the nautilus had been in the aquarium for several minutes, I notice that it may be dying, as it spews blood and is also bleeding from underneath its shell. I learn that our son had paid $80.00 for the “kit”. However, it does not make much sense as I also learn that the people who sold it want it back - yet $230.00 must be paid for them to have it again (which of course makes no sense at all). However, because the nautilus will soon be dead, the scenario is problematic. I am very annoyed. I am not sure what we will do. The creature is still breathing, but I do not think it will live.

      I become distracted when I notice three men lying on the ground just outside the south area of the house, sleeping. It seems to be late morning. I see them through the bay window. They are parallel to each other but are sleeping in informal clothes. Soon, one wakes and phases through the wall. This makes me annoyed and I jab my Olympic barbell (no weights) into his neck and hold him down on the floor with it. He is standing at one point, but I punch him. He becomes a sheet of notebook paper, which I tear into several pieces.

      This dream, as is usually the case with at least one dream per day, was partly based on something my wife Zsuzsanna had seen that I could not have known about. She had seen a movie yesterday morning (with some of our children) that had Lego in it, and a Lego aquarium as with my dream (and at the beginning of that movie). No one ever mentioned anything about this prior to my dream. This sort of event has been validated to have happened long before I even met Zsuzsanna (when she also appeared in my dreams as my “mystery girl” with the exact appearance and unlikely mixed accent of Romani Hungarian and Australian, as well as actual Persian associations as with some dreams).

      I should probably add another paragraph, as new readers who believe in “dream interpretation” (as the term is commonly used) would not have any understanding of what is going on here. The man I fight with, as always, is my personified preconscious in the projected symbolism of the emergent consciousness. (This is easily validated by the fact that he wakes up and phases through the wall.) This is completely unrelated to real life and is a waking transition function of RAS biology (reticular activating system which controls the dynamics of sleeping and waking and waking symbolism). The aquarium represents the dream state itself. The bleeding nautilus signifies increasing neural energy during the waking transition (and incrementing awareness of having a real physical body), though probably also has personal associations with mortality. The act of feeding the nautilus cereal when it is not in the aquarium represents “being out of the aquarium” (not sleeping) and having breakfast (cereal).

    3. I, Carrie

      by , 09-20-2017 at 08:21 AM
      Morning of September 20, 2017. Wednesday.

      This dream is vivid from start to finish even though I deliberately change my identity twice (by way of subliminal lucidity). Instead of my most common form of dream state initiation (water, which symbolizes the real-time dynamics of sleep), it begins with another very common dream state indicator, that is, “still” being in bed. (The difference of course relates to sleeping in the waters of the womb in the first months of life in contrast to sleeping in bed, though the dream state initiation form may be incidental.) My dream self’s memory is mostly limited to not much beyond the age of twenty.

      The bed turns out to be in a new version of the Loomis Street house. It is in the living room. There is much more space on the north side of the room than there was in reality and there is also a vague association with our Gellibrand Street apartment of years ago (though I do not reflect upon this while in my dream). The bed is in the northeast corner of the room, aligned to the north wall. I am on the left side (which is atypical as I have mostly been on the right side in recent years when sleeping with Zsuzsanna, though this is probably related to subliminal reinduction). My brother-in-law Bob had been sleeping on the right side. My sister Marilyn is alive and as she was in the late 1970s (with no memory of her having died in 2014). She has not yet decided to go to sleep. I am seemingly aware my mother had recently died (though she died in 2002).

      Anita comes in through the front door and asks Marilyn if she had been in the bed sleeping, mentioning “all five people” in the bed (even though I had only been aware of Bob being in the bed). I turn more to my left, very close to the edge of the bed. It seems that Anita had picked up and kept an American quarter that had fallen out of my shirt pocket. More coins fall onto the floor from my left shirt pocket, including at least three American quarters and a few nickels and dimes, but these I retrieve and put in my right pants pocket (as I am apparently wearing blue jeans in bed).

      I then get up and start practicing telekinesis by willing objects to fly into my right hand, mostly cups, empty soda cans, and dishes. “Did you see that?” I keep asking Anita and Marilyn. There is no surprise from them.

      I go outside and it seems to be late morning (even though it had been nighttime seconds before). I fly about six feet above the ground but mostly hover and loudly screech. The unfamiliar neighbor to the south has a few children playing in his yard. I decide to go over, via the alley, and apologize for my behavior, as it may have frightened them. I explain to the man that I am “Carrie’s brother”. For a short time, I puzzle over the timeline possibly being wrong, as Carrie and I are supposedly around the same age and I perceive it may be the late 1980s. I then show him my telekinetic ability. I will small items to fly into my hand from a distance as well as an empty cardboard box that had been put out for the garbage collectors. The other male seems curious but not afraid. “I can lift a house,” I explain, “or a car”. (I have the usual false memory that a house can be lifted into the air and set back down with telekinesis without destroying the foundation, plumbing, or electrical connections.)

      There are many scenes after this where I go into a building and show my telekinetic abilities to several other unfamiliar people, mostly males of about twenty. I continuously will, over and over, mainly cups (though other items as well) to fly into my right hand. I perform such acts at least thirty times as others watch with mild interest. It seems effortless and triggered by softly imagining the feeling of already having it in my hand. I also eventually cause cups to slide across the table away from me (not nearly as common a dream event as willing them to me). The others find it amusing when I do this. For some reason, this seems more important and impressive than drawing objects to me.

      I then decide to be Carrie herself (even though I am not lucid). I am beginning what seems like eighth grade in an unknown school. While sitting at a long table with a few others in a row, I will pencils to fly into my hand from the table in front of us. One unfamiliar boy directly to my left looks at me and the pencils flying from the other table into my hand, but does not react - as if he cannot see or understand the world around him. He looks somewhat arrogant but completely clueless. I reason that, unlike the previous witnesses, many young people have no perception or understanding of the world around them, so unusual or unexplainable events are not perceived as such at all.

      From here, I notice that the top layer of skin has come off around the base of my thumb and partly across the palm. There are clumps of dead skin here and there that I peel off. The flesh underneath is pure white and very soft and smooth. Curiously, I do not notice that my hand is reversed in orientation, that is, when my palm is up, my left thumb is on the right (instead of my left thumb being outward to the left with my palm up as it should be). It is very vivid, with an augmented sense of touch (though no pain) and I never take more notice to this impossible hand orientation despite the clarity.

      In the last scene, I fly around above Sill Street, mostly to the west. (This is a very illogical location and focus for my dreams, as it was of little significance in real life and not seen at all since 1994, and yet has peculiarly become more common over the last few years.) This seems more of the closing credits to a movie. Curiously, instead of music associated with “Carrie” (1976), I hear an altered version of the lyrics and music from “Sybil” (1976 television miniseries). However, these are the same incorrect lyrics I sang in the 1970s, even playing the music on my accordion and electronic organs. I perceive Carrie (Sissy Spacek) as singing them. Instead of “Mirror mirror in my mind”, I always sang “Mirror mirror in my heart” (so much so, the real lyrics now sound “wrong” to me). Instead of “Come as a dream, ribbons of rhymes”, I sang it as “Fashions and swirls, ribbons and curls”.

      Interestingly, Anita’s reference to supposedly five people having been in the bed may have deliberately foreshadowed me playing the two other roles before waking. Coins often relate to coalescence and the level of subliminally perceived neural activity in the dream state. Since early childhood, I have always been aware of very distinct differences between dream self modes, including passively non-lucid, non-lucid but willful, subliminally lucid (being aware of making and controlling the dream though not remembering what a dream is), passive lucidity, willful lucidity, apex lucidity (total and sustained willful conscious creation and automatic linear control of the dream including deliberately symbolic waking transitions based on fifty years of day to day experience where certain long-term forms of conscious thought automatically integrate into unconscious states), and other distinct levels of unconsciousness, including entirely abstract where my existence seems to be as a letter of the alphabet or geometrical form, sometimes with unusual and unique mental rituals, or the repeating of a phrase to “perfectly” assume a physical position prior to waking.

    4. Total Freedom in Lucid Dreaming

      by , 09-19-2017 at 08:58 AM
      Morning of September 19, 2017. Tuesday.

      In the first part of my dream, in the first non-lucid segment, I am in a typical scenario where I am in a bookstore (or what is firstly perceived as one) and looking at various comic books and graphic novels. This goes on for a long time as I gather a stack together to keep. The books are unfamiliar, thus new to me, though some are implied to be older (as far back as the 1970s).

      At this stage, the personified preconscious is present as a younger unfamiliar male. Curiously, he is painting, as if there was also an art studio here. It is not much bigger than A4 size and lying on the table that I am sitting at eventually. It seems to be a landscape with flowers in the foreground.

      I tell him how I had painted, with a paint-by-number kit when I was a boy, two skulls. I explain how they were two singular portraits of skeletal pirates, shown from about the chest up. (This is based on a real-life event and thus atypically, is a real memory.) He said he had never heard of them. “Oh, they were quite popular,” I reply. I then go on to describe how my older brother Earl had started a very large paint-by-number of the Mona Lisa, but had never finished. (This was also a real event, from the early 1970s.)

      Eventually, I decide to walk out of what now seems like a second-hand store. I have a stack of graphic novels and comic books at least a foot high. However, it seems confused with the free bookstore, where (in real life) there is no one present other than the patrons and one is trusted to trade books of equal value on their own. A cashier, an older unfamiliar female, stops me by asking what I am doing. She is at a counter to my right. Apparently, I have to pay for the books, possibly a lot of money, which I do not have on me, which I tell her. I also protest in that I tell her I had left food on a previous visit. It does not seem to matter to her. I still apparently have to pay for these books now.

      I take out my wallet and the contents of my right pants pocket and see that I have only coins, which I place on the counter, which has now suddenly shifted to the opposite side of the room and farther back from the entrance of the store - a subliminally willed (non-lucid, though known as subliminal lucidity in my lifelong journal) attempt at reinduction, that is, I had consciously but subliminally willed the counter back from my dream’s implied exit point as well as shifting it from the right to the left, as right is more typical of waking symbolism orientation. (The checkout of a store symbolizes a specific level of emergent consciousness as a common liminal space end marker in my dreams, fully understood as such since I was very young. This does not mean every dream ends shortly after a checkout is rendered, but it does indicate a precursor to an expected shift in consciousness, not necessarily full wakefulness, though that is often the case).

      The preconscious factors had transmuted from the artist (which symbolizes potential lucidity, though my non-lucid dream self does not realize this) to the elderly female cashier, though an unfamiliar male with a beard joins her on her right (the same orientation Zsuzsanna and I are presently sleeping in). The other male looks at my coins. Three of them are unusual in that they are mostly featureless other than having an embossed circle on them. “These are tally-hoes,” he says. This seems to mean that they may not be coins for buying something but possibly for use with public transport, or perhaps of little value. (Of course, “Tally-ho”, here an absentminded association with tallying up the total price as in “tally whole cost”, is here also a codeword for the waking transition analogous as the dream self hunting for the fox, which represents the precursor to coalescence back into conscious self identity and critical thinking skills or cleverness which the dream self does not typically possess.)

      From here, my state of subliminal lucidity increments slightly. I decide to leave the store with the books anyway, by teleporting and phasing through the entrance door without opening it (another form of subliminal reinduction, that is, even though I do not know I am dreaming, I deliberately manipulate it, a very common state of in-dream awareness for me).

      Still, they are heavy to carry, but I do not mind that much. It seems to be late at night. I notice that the moon is of an unusual appearance as a number of unusual clouds encircle it. The moon imagery is within the blue sky even though the rest of the sky is dark. Understanding that this image of the nighttime sky is absurd, I now become fully lucid, which means my dream is consciously mine to change and sustain in any way I want.

      The first act I perform is to joyfully throw my books onto the ground, as there is no sense in carrying them (or to be weighed down by them) in the dream state. I feel physically lighter and very happy to realize I am dreaming due to lifelong understanding of taking full conscious self advantage of this state. I enter apex lucidity and decide to create a park and have a sustained and augmented sexual encounter with Zsuzsanna. After this, I will it again. Parts of my body are “buzzing” with pleasure and our climaxes are extended (probably due to the Tetris effect from so many real-life events). However, I eventually shift into a different form of lucidity, where my dream is so realistic, that my dream self starts to question if my real physical body is somehow walking around (which of course is a ridiculous thought, but this has happened in past lucid dreams of a higher and sustained form), so I decide to initiate waking to find that I (that is, my sleeping physical body) had not moved at all. Still, there is something about the bliss, freedom, and even perceived safety of apex lucidity that is hard to describe.

    5. Organization and Device

      by , 09-16-2017 at 03:16 PM
      Morning of September 16, 2017. Saturday.

      My dream atypically starts out in liminal space of the type that is usually an end marker, symbolized by a parking lot (though this is likely from an unremembered consciousness state offset from a previous dream). The main characters other than myself are Ray Romano as on “Everybody Loves Raymond” though his implied wife is Jane Wyatt as from the much older television show “Father Knows Best”. Ray, Jane, their fictional daughter (who seems like a young version of Zsuzsanna, though my dream self does not recognize her as such), and I are in a dark blue pickup truck. I am firstly in the cab but later riding in the back with their daughter.

      An additional recurring dream state indicator (other than the parking lot) is the pickup truck itself (due to the play on “bed”). The first situation relates to an appointment made by the parents (I assume with no choice in the matter), due to a government agency coming to take their daughter to place her in some sort of government-sponsored group home related to specialized foster care. When the other men arrive, parking at a distance from the truck, I take out a small cylindrical rod with a button on one end. I push it and it transforms into a large pistol. I shoot at the car and after the third shot it explodes dramatically, also consuming four or five unoccupied cars near it.

      An unknown man on the opposite side of the truck looks on in a puzzled manner and does not leave the area of his car and stands behind its open driver’s side door. In order to not get found with a gun on me, I press a button on the gun’s handle and it changes back into the small rod.

      From here, I ride in the back with the daughter and tell Ray to drive off down a certain road. Curiously, there are seemingly automatic French doors (not connected to any building) across one part of the road that the truck goes through. I explain to the daughter about her need to grow up in a family environment with her two real parents instead of by the imposed will of government, which often creates cognitive dissonance through half-attained brainwashing. We talk for a long time with reasonable clarity, though I do not recall every detail. I agree with her that while some parents are certainly not suitable to raise children, that does not mean the government should have all children under their observation and indoctrination or to indulge in profiling based on factors like race or cultural background.

      I am aware that I own a very large organization and area of land, but in which people live as they want as long as there is no crime. We arrive there and the family makes plans about their living arrangements.

      Before the three new people move into their new home, I talk about their state of health being confirmed. The daughter says that I am not a doctor. “Yes I am,” I strongly state.

      I press the button on my device and it transforms into an unusual complex machine. I watch parts grow out as a result of nanites. It now mainly resembles an oversized embossing label maker. The girl kneels down and I look at the top of the device as I hold it directly over her head. It has scanned her entire body for any health issues and reports (by print that appears on the surface of the top) that there are no concerns. I have Jane kneel as well and the device reports no issues. Ray seems to have a cholesterol issue, but that will be addressed later.

      I then notice a black male who knows me well and I ask him how his friends and family are doing. Everything seems fine. I go into a large room which also has an ambiguous outdoors area on one side (a commonly recurring dream distortion that is impossible to resolve consciously). There are a few others in the room. One male is supposedly hunting for food. He shoots at a cartoonish figure that runs behind trees to the left. “Was that the Tasmanian Devil?” I ask cheerfully (though it looked more like a bizarre cartoon rabbit wearing track shorts and with human legs).

      I feel some sort of consciousness shift beginning, so I go down a flight of steps to reinduce and vivify the dream state (even though I am not lucid, as this knowledge of dream symbolism is often within my dream self’s awareness even in non-lucidity and I deliberately use it to manipulate the dream state regardless of my dream self not remembering what a dream actually is - though dreams are primarily symbolic of real-time mental processes while sleeping - which most people, including “experts”, bizarrely do not understand at all).

      I find myself in a featureless field (a common dream setting symbolizing higher liminal space and a particular level of consciousness). I decide to fly but not that far above the ground. I fly stomach down and use my arms to gain speed by pushing down against the ground to propel myself forward. I enjoy this more and more. I feel it will make me stronger in the arms while not tiring the rest of my body. I am aware of Leonard S (my pinhead friend from King Street). He is standing near a storefront that comes into view to my left. I am also aware of an older unknown male who I feel may benefit from flying in the way I am as I consider he may need to strengthen his heart muscles in a less stressful way. (He seems about seventy years old.) I continue to fly this way. When I wake, my right hand is pushing down on the mattress though I am only partly on my stomach by way of my left side.

      Updated 09-23-2017 at 09:03 AM by 1390

    6. The Preconscious Spews Four Birds (via RAS)

      by , 09-16-2017 at 10:23 AM
      Morning of September 15, 2017. Friday.

      I am in a library that is not very well-defined and in fact seems to be “blank” on two sides. I am with two unfamiliar people, a younger male and younger female. They seem puzzled about where they are. A door is partly open behind us.

      An unfamiliar older male appears in front of us (though more as if there the whole time). He makes a remark about “holding the door” so that we can leave the dream (though I am not fully lucid). “This is the waking transition,” he says. “Only this and nothing more.” (This is a line from Edgar Allan Poe’s poem “The Raven”.)

      Four miniature birds quickly protrude from between his lips. The little birds are in a two by two arrangement (that is, two rows of two). I recognize the one on the upper left as a miniature blue crowned pigeon. (All four exotic birds are of a different species.) The impression is created that the man’s “tongue” (somehow made of the four birds) is pointing to the door on the opposite side of the room to show us the way out.

      Despite my waking symbolism being of the same basic patterns for over fifty years, it is always quite different in how it is specifically rendered. This dream combines doorway waking symbolism (of the threshold type - meaning threshold of real-time level of consciousness) with return flight waking symbolism.

      Doorway waking symbolism is when RAS designates the potential exit point of the dream state as a doorway. (The reticular activating system or RAS is a set of connected nuclei that is responsible for regulating wakefulness and sleep-wake transition and is behind the formation of waking symbolism as such, often in my case by way of the personified preconscious, which is usually unrelated to real life, other than sometimes triggered by environmental noise or change in perceived light through the veil of sleep, but in my case, often linked to the transpersonal Source with prescience.)

      Return flight waking symbolism (inherent to the dream state itself based on being unconscious - even used as such in comic strips and movies by showing birds flying around someone’s head when knocked out) occurs in over twenty percent of my non-lucid dreams, and has for over fifty years. This is also based on RAS due to the biological dynamics of the inner ear often triggering a falling sensation upon the return to wakeful consciousness. This is automatically unconsciously associated with birds, airplanes, flying under one’s own power, UFOs, and other flight symbols.

      A library typically represents having more of the conscious self identity present within the dream state (due to the growing neural energy required to read and better understand text).

      Tags: birds, doorway
    7. Musical Keyboard Distortions and Distractions

      by , 09-13-2017 at 12:38 PM
      Morning of September 13, 2017. Wednesday.

      The main setting of my dream seems to be a larger variation of our bedroom in the house on Stadcor Street in Brisbane, where we have not lived in years. This seems to be the more dominant awareness of such due to that house’s kitchen being nearby in my dream’s layout and somewhat similar to real life, though there is also a vague association with the southwest Cubitis bedroom.

      In addition to a young version of my wife Zsuzsanna, there are four female “angels” or devoted “dream servants” present, though their behavior is atypical as my dream is non-lucid and they seem like my “protectors” as well (this being a non-lucid subliminal carryover from the nature of apex lucidity and unrelated to my real life). One of them is the (retired) actress Leelee Sobieski, seeming about twenty-five. I eventually become annoyed with her as she seems to have a contrary mindset at one point. I bump into Leelee while I am intimate with Zsuzsanna (while Leelee is facing away from us). This physical contact annoys Leelee and her annoyance annoys me (and makes me suspicious yet not lucid), so I conclude her “devotion” is pretense despite her being a “guardian”. However, any perception of conflict soon fades.

      In a scene in the kitchen, I have an electronic musical keyboard. I am thinking about recording some music for a new track. My mother is now present. (My dream self does not recall that she had died in 2002.) Pressing some of the keys, I see that one of them (seemingly a B key near the center of my keyboard) seems either loose or stuck due to the power cord somehow having been wrapped under the key. My mother tells me that she had done this (though unknowingly causing the problem), which makes me very annoyed as I am not sure if the key can be fixed as it seems broken or at least different in response to the other keys. I still want to play some music.

      I soon notice a tiny hairless creature that I first think is dead. It is lying between the A and B keys near the middle of my keyboard. I feel a sense of disgust in thinking that it may be a small rat fetus. However, over time, it begins to move and then breathe and gasp. “Oh…It’s a dog fetus,” I say aloud to the others present in casual matter-of-fact observation.

      Earl (an older half-brother on my mother’s side) is soon present. (My dream self does not recall that he had died in 2007.) The tiny hairless puppy, not much bigger than my thumb, is making unusual motions with its mouth (reminiscent of the “baby” in the movie “Eraserhead” from 1977). I wonder if it will even live, but I consider that Earl should put it with its mother to suckle. I have a wholly unexplainable false memory that Earl has a small dark gray cairn terrier that is likely its mother. The tiny “puppy” has an unusual brief feature on the top of its head that looks like an angular cap (though without the brim) of the kind a policeman or postman would wear, though it blends in with its head like an actual darker physical feature relating to its minimal fur. I know that my mind is creating this association somehow but it does not trigger lucidity.

      In the last scene, I have a meal with the four “angels”, Zsuzsanna, my mother, and Earl. My keyboard seems unrealistically bigger and oversized, and we seem to be using it as a table. Along with other food, which seems mostly normal to me, I also seem to have eaten much of the puppy except for its head, though the imagery is quite magnified. I feel a bit strange, but then I realize it is not the original puppy, but a “copy” of it, and that the “real” one is with its mother. At this point, my dream becomes more abstract and fades without a direct waking prompt.

      Foundational dream state indicators (no present relevance to real life): Our previous bedroom in Brisbane synthesized with my parents’ bedroom of Cubitis is simply based on concurrent subliminal threads of awareness of having gone to bed and additionally perceiving Zsuzsanna and I as parents.

      There are multiple reasons as to why Leelee Sobieski appeared in this dream, yet all of them unrelated to real-life symbolism and linked directly to the Reticular Activating System and real-time preconscious dynamics of the dream state. Reason number one stems from having briefly and randomly looked at details on IMDb of the 2007 movie “Walk All Over Me”. I only watched the first few minutes (and will watch it later with Zsuzsanna). She plays Alberta and appears as a cashier in the first few minutes, and the preconscious sometimes takes the form of a cashier to symbolize “checking out” of the dream state (as a lifelong recognized RAS function). Reason number two stems from her role in the 1998 movie “Deep Impact”, which has a theme analogous to the cessation of the dream state (“end of the world” association, symbolically unrelated to real life in this case). Reason number three comes from her role as Joan of Arc as associated with “divine voices and visions” and being in the dream state. Reason number four stems from her no longer being in movies as analogous to the waking precursor (“watching movies” as analogous to dreaming, though there may also be a play on “retired” as in going to bed).

      The power cord wrapped under the key is a dream state indicator (unrelated to present waking life) that no pretend “dream interpreter” could possibly have a clue about. Here is why: When I lived in America, I sometimes used to script dreams in real time by using affirmations in a digital sampling keyboard and did in fact, cause a key to stay down with the power cord holding it. In fact, the irony of this plays off of itself. In one real-time scripted vivid dream when I was young, I was distracted in trying to find the real audio source in order to turn it off. I was in a hallway with various doors and could not tell where the real sound was coming from. This is possibly one of the most hilarious failures of critical thinking skills in an otherwise vivid lucid dream.

      The last part of my dream is based on new ideas in my approach to newer music (as symbolized by the puppy needing to develop more). It is also an odd form of coalescence in “feeding off” my dream state (and the dream self coalescing back into consciousness). Also, as in uncountable past dreams, I was vaguely aware that I was consciously creating my dream (even though I was not lucid in any viable way), mostly only vaguely discernible in the scene where my focus on the “dead rat fetus” willed it to change into the living tiny hairless puppy. The focus on it coming to life and breathing relates to both waking up and very mild sleep apnea that is usually not a problem for me. Additionally, there are “end markers” here I do not typically go into detail about in an entry. For example, the B key represents the end of an octave and where there is no black key to the right of it, as a play on coming out of the unconscious state of dreaming, no more liminal space implied by the next white C key after the white B key.

    8. Riding a Bus to the Waking Point

      by , 09-11-2017 at 04:03 PM
      Morning of September 11, 2017. Monday.

      My dream is not lucid, yet not really of subliminal lucidity either (as in subliminal lucidity, I lack the recognition of what a dream is yet am aware I am making my world and the events that unfold), yet I understand my dream’s symbolism and subliminal degree of conscious control while I am in it.

      I am with my wife Zsuzsanna on a city bus. I am aware that the setting seems to be the north side of La Crosse (though Zsuzsanna has never been in America in real life).

      The bus is rendered incorrectly. Although it seems to be in America and the bus driver seems like a bus driver of whom I knew in real life (also in America), the driver’s side is on the right and the doors are on the left. My dream self does not consider this as wrong though. Zsuzsanna and I are on the right, only a couple seats back from the driver.

      Over time, I am uncertain of our destination or of any cohesive backstory. There is a scene where the bus stops near an intersection. I have somewhat of an expectation that it will turn to the right and softly bump the back of a parked car and it does. The driver does not seem alarmed or surprised, but cheerfully comments “oops” and backs the bus up and turns to the left.

      I realize that where we get off has something to do with me waking from the dream state. I remember that a bus ride symbolizes the return to consciousness (and that waking symbolism is “correctly” oriented to my right), and yet somehow, my dream self does not maintain viable lucidity or the viable memory of what a dream actually is. (This is difficult to resolve in conscious afterthought but is a fairly common way of thinking in my non-lucid dreams. It is what it is. It is probably a result of over fifty continuous years of dream documentation and study, and resolving most of them.)

      I do not consider that I could just wake up by willing it (even as in certain non-lucid dreams) as I have done in many past dreams. I think that the bus stop I have to get off at in order to achieve consciousness is on the right side of the street when going south and is near the Rivoli Theatre (the bus stop sign being unrealistically high, nearly as high as a traffic light), but I do wake before we reach the area.

      Time and time again, for over fifty years, I have written about how the preconscious is never dominant or aggressive (other than when biologically premonitory) when I am already willingly in the waking transition (albeit, typically subliminal as such), and it is as true here as always. Here, the preconscious (bus driver) even cheerfully allows me to deliberately cause the bus that he is otherwise driving to softly bump into a car by (subliminal) mental will before moving on. (This bump is likely symbolic of Zsuzsanna and I softly bumping each other while sleeping, since vehicles typically symbolize the human body or holding the mode of unconsciousness in real time.)

    9. Robbery and Running and Preconscious Distraction

      by , 09-11-2017 at 10:40 AM
      Morning of September 11, 2017. Monday.

      I am walking with two unknown males, a situation of which continued from a very long previous dream sequence. I think about robbing a place, but the details are not clear yet. I eventually realize that I am carrying a Glock pistol. Soon, I “realize” that I am a black female of perhaps about twenty-five years old.

      It seems late at night. I go into a small trailer park in an open field where a dense forest is to my left. An unknown black female, but of whom is apparently known to the character I presently am, complains about me being there to rob her again (though I do not recall any backstory for this). Other than that, she does not seem alarmed by my gun. She opens a couple drawers in a large chest of drawers in her trailer. There is a bundle of one-hundred-dollar bills in an even stack, partly wrapped in cellophane. There is also a roll of fifty-dollar bills held together with a rubber band. There are also numerous rolls of coins. I tell her to keep some of the money, including the roll of fifties, but she insists that I take all of it. I put everything in two bags. There are several other items besides the American money, including bottles of perfume and shampoo and small items of clothing. I leave the trailer park, walking briskly east. I see a couple others outside of their trailers on my right, one an older black male of about sixty.

      Somehow, it is suddenly daylight now, possibly early afternoon. I am with two unknown Caucasian males (though one reminds me vaguely of Don K from the early 1980s). I am seemingly now a male character, though not fully myself and perhaps about twenty years old. We seem to be going west on Sill Street, having gone past Wood Street and possibly Kane Street. I decide to toss my gun on the ground near the intersection near the trunk of a tree so I am not armed if caught (thinking I would be in less trouble). Still, I consider that may not be a good idea as a child might find it. The others and I continue, but eventually turn right to go north. I continue to carry my two bags.

      We seem happy until one of the males looks back and sees another male who apparently knows us. It may be that he will cause trouble or at least be annoying if he sees us and catches up with us. The male who recognizes this other male tells us all to go our separate ways. “I have to try to wake him up,” he says in an authoritative tone. He goes across the front lawns of a few houses on the right side of the street and I am still following him, unsure of the situation. He yells with frustration and waves me off, indicating to me not to follow him. The male who had been behind us is apparently sleepwalking. He has long black hair and a long black beard and has on blue jeans but no shoes, socks, or shirt. He starts cheerfully talking to the male that seems to know who he is. “I can’t understand anything you’re saying,” the sleepwalking male is told, “You’re speaking gibberish”.

      I continue to go north a short distance, but then turn around to go through a very narrow residential alley back southward. I am slightly concerned that I might annoy people by going through or close to their backyards but I do not see anyone. At the end of the alley are two closed chain-link gates about chest-high, side by side. Each of the two gates is for a different house, which makes no sense, as the alley goes past all houses on the block and the gates are adjacent to the public sidewalk. Before I get to them, I have to climb quickly up over a couple large full garbage bags and some other objects. At first, I think the gates might be locked, but I am able to open them by turning a horizontal L-shaped bolt lock. The detail is very vivid and realistic in appearance (but unlike any setting I had ever seen in real life). The sense of physical momentum and touch is vivid as well.

      A few police officers approach me and look in my bags and ask me where I am going. I see that there are a lot of rolls of coins in them. I insist that everything is mine, but they seem condescending. While pretending that I am totally innocent, I am eventually able to get away. One policewoman seems to think I am okay and seems to see me as being victimized by the other officers. However, a chubby male officer seems determined that I will be caught again and found to have robbed someone, or possibly a bank.

      I somehow end up going through the second floor of a business building. There are a few times when I fly after getting outside again, but I end up walking again, as my two bags are heavy. I somehow end up back near Sill and Kane and recall how I had deliberately thrown my gun there (at the northeast corner) but I do not see it. It is daylight at this time.

      I am now briskly walking south through the north side of La Crosse (except that it looks more like the south side) and it seems to be night once again. I somehow have my gun again without contemplating that I had gotten rid of it. I am the black female character again. I make sure my gun is holstered in the front of my pants and unseen. I am thinking of finding the Loomis Street house to hide out even though that does not make sense as I am supposedly someone else. I vaguely recall that my sister had died but that my brother-in-law may be there (though they had actually moved prior to my sister’s death, though I was living in Australia by that time). I continue to carry the two cloth bags of money and other items, one in each hand. I notice that about eight people are running towards me, though not directly towards me. I think they may have attempted to rob a closed business but none of them are carrying anything. Police cars go by but they curiously do not stop. (The scene of these looters, including their appearance, was very similar to something I did not know about until after this dream and seeing it on the news, so I am considering this part as prescient.)

      I cross the street (which may be a distorted version of Loomis Street, though too commercial) to my right and turn right down a very narrow alley with tall commercial buildings on each side. The alley is not wide enough for a car to follow me through and is at least two city blocks long. However, nearing the opening ahead, I see a puff of smoke going past the edge of a building on the left side of the end of the alley at about head level. It is the chubby policeman, who is smoking a cigarette, who had vowed to catch me. I knock him in the head with my heavy bags and knock him over. The police woman, who seems to be on my side, is possibly going to help me escape now.

      The preconscious modelling itself artificially, or mimicking itself, in needing to wake another dream character (instead of me) is about as surreal and unusual as it gets (even stranger than a false awakening where I am writing down or telling someone about my previous dream). The threads of my dream self identity changing a few times (without any focus on that dynamic) is rather odd as well.

    10. Grape Juice Transfer

      by , 09-09-2017 at 08:59 AM
      Morning of September 9, 2017. Saturday.

      I am with my family mostly as we appear now, though our home seems of a different layout. I have a glass of grape juice with a drinking straw. I do not drink the juice from my glass. Instead, using a funnel, I pour it into the virtual fuel tank of a plastic miniature jeep that is about the size for a child to “drive”. The fuel tank is inside the front of the car near the top, accessible by way of a small square horizontal lid, which implies that there is not a larger standard hood (bonnet). The undersized jeep is facing me though oriented somewhat to my left, with the fuel tank being in the left half.

      From here, I attempt to drink the grape juice from the tank by using a straw. Even though the tank seems full and the straw seems to be below the surface of the juice, I cannot seem to suck the juice up through my straw. (There seems to be more grape juice in the fuel tank than had been in my glass.) Some of the grape juice may be a bit gritty. I consider that the straw is not quite reaching the surface of the grape juice but I also illogically consider that I still may be able to suck it up through the air and into the straw, though at another point, it seems to touch bottom. I cannot get much taste or satisfaction out of my actions.

      This is another dream of many throughout my life where a vehicle is analogous to the human body. The fuel tank would symbolize my stomach (especially as it is higher up and at the front - though the orientation of the tank being on the left side would otherwise imply my physical body only if my body was facing downwards, though which makes perfect sense if the wheels are analogous to my hands and feet). The meaning seems to relate that once I have something in my stomach (fuel tank), I cannot undo its presence in my body and additionally should not consider my physical body as a “toy” by drinking the wrong fluids, as well as the jeep itself implying a “battle” related to maintaining good health. Still, I do not drink grape juice very often and no longer drink cola. This dream is probably just a reconfirmation of that healthy choice.

    11. Five shorter dreams, including a snake in a cake

      by , 09-08-2017 at 09:46 AM
      Morning of September 8, 2017. Friday.

      Instead of making a separate entry for each of these five dreams of today, I will, at least for now, include only their summaries in one entry. (These are not all of today’s dreams as I sometimes remember fifteen or more, rarely ever less than five or six, not including the hundreds of short hypnagogic sequences, though those are usually of apex lucidity and too personal to post.) There were other dreams both before and after this sequence of five.

      Dream one: “Sighting a Red-winged Blackbird Near a Bus Stop”. I am in an unknown area in an unknown city, though I do not consider it as unfamiliar or how I got here. A kindergarten teacher is trying to get all of her students to gather together in one area, possibly near the bus stop. (She reminds me a little of my own kindergarten teacher from my childhood.) They may have been on a field trip. The streets have mostly commercial buildings. There is an open area which is mostly like a park on the opposite side of the street from where I am. I see one bird walking about on the short grass. It is a red-winged blackbird. As it slowly moves away from my view, sometimes hopping or flying a very short distance, I notice that the spot on its wing seems different at times, either more red or more yellow, but I consider that this relates to how its wing is positioned. It faces to the right at times. I point at it and cheerfully say that it is a red-winged blackbird. The teacher acknowledges me briefly but seems more interested in gathering her students together. (This is a typical combination of return flight waking symbolism mixed in with coalescence waking symbolism, with the bus stop analogy of returning to wakeful consciousness. The preconscious - the teacher - is passive here as it is not my last dream of the sleeping period.)

      Dream two: “Shaving with a Guinea Pig’s Shaving Cream”. I am with an unknown male in an unfamiliar bathroom, though I seem to be him at times. The other male is in the bathroom to shave, but he uses shaving cream which belongs to the guinea pig. The “guinea pig”, who actually seems mainly like an ordinary male human, stands off to my left and warns about a human being using it as it may be toxic to them or unsuitable at best. I shave slowly and carefully while looking in the mirror as I am seemingly now the other male. The detail is very clear and vivid. After this, with mostly smooth skin, guinea pig hair seems to grow out smoothly and cleanly from where my shaving occurred, mostly around my chin. I am not that concerned as this is apparently happening to the other male and not me even though I presently seem to be him. (This is partly related to removing most of my facial hair recently. Our guinea pigs are sometimes presently kept in the bathroom because of the cold weather, though in a fully-enclosed cage with a solid bottom.)

      Dream three: “Stolen Dimensional Gateway Emerald”. I am with a few unknown males. We enter a large room that has an unusual glass structure in the center which is higher than our height but only about two-thirds the height of the room. It would be cross-shaped if viewed from above. There is a glass room in the center, with four smaller rooms of slightly lesser height coming out from each direction. Each room’s walls are transparent. Here and there are multicolored rocks of the type found near some railroad tracks. I am aware that the emerald used to control the dimensional gateway is missing. In fact, I consider that I may have taken it. There is a vague sense of amusement as another male is annoyed that he cannot use the gateway. I look over a few of the interesting railroad track rocks and mention how the gateway emerald could be replaced, not to actually be usable, but so that other people do not know the real one was taken. “They don’t have anything like that at Walmart,” says the other male angrily. (This is some sort of distorted and failed reinduction - that is, dream reinitiation attempt, my dream self coalesced with the preconscious and my subliminal will projected as from another character.)

      Dream four: “Snake in a Cake”. There is some sort of party (possibly a birthday party) in a mostly featureless room that mostly only has a very large three-tiered pink cake that is about a foot higher than me. I get the impression that it may be taking place in the house on St. Cloud Street (where my older brother Earl lived for a time years ago). A lot of people are present, most unfamiliar, some relatives. After a time, a very large snake crawls across the floor. I relay what I see to the crowd, some people trying to leave, but there are too many people pushing about. I watch the snake smoothly crawl into the base of the cake and disappear. The imagery is mostly in pinks, oranges, and yellows. I relay how the snake has gone into the cake. Someone, an unknown male, says that he is not eating any of the cake. Later, the cake starts turning like a merry-go-round, which is caused by the snake’s actions. The cake eventually falls apart but there is seemingly not that much of a threat from the snake. (This probably relates to becoming dizzy in the past presumably from too much sugar, but I have not had problems with that lately, and I no longer drink cola at all. The snake was not rendered very realistically - more of the “War of the Serpents” mood and style from my childhood, so not serving as a vivid and more dominant waking prompt in itself as in other cases. Pink of a specific hue is often related to mild indigestion in sleep, based directly on taking Pepto-Bismol a number of times when I was young.)

      Dream five: “Earl’s Puppies”. This is fairly vivid. I walk into a room that is mostly featureless. Earl (older half-brother on my mother’s side who died in November of 2007) is standing in the room. There is not much light. He seems healthy and appears mostly as he was in the 1980s. I am aware that he has at least three puppies (perhaps four) inside his abdomen. I hear them whimper a few times and there is movement on his skin’s surface. (His shirt is up.) I am not sure if he had (either deliberately or accidentally) swallowed them whole or is willingly to be some sort of surrogate mother. I ask him if he is concerned about being bitten internally or if it might hurt. He seems cheerful and resolute. (This is likely a result of mild indigestion mixed with hearing the dog next door whining in real life through the veil of sleep.)

      There were a number of other dreams, a couple of which I may post separately at a later time or date. These dreams in order of vividness and clarity were five, two, one, three, four.

    12. Bug Concern Evolves Humorously

      by , 09-07-2017 at 07:31 AM
      Morning of September 7, 2017. Thursday.

      My wife Zsuzsanna and I are in bed in the same orientation as in reality. However, our implied bedroom is unfamiliar and mostly featureless. We are still trying to get more sleep but there is a bug present on the wall to our right (though not really a threat).

      Over time, there are more bugs seen. At one point, there is a large mosquito and a spider on the ceiling directly above us. The spider and mosquito are after each other, but I am not sure which one ends up defeating the other. A large cockroach also falls from the ceiling to the floor to our left at one point, making an audible “splat”. A large garden spider remains in a web a bit farther to my right, on the ceiling.

      After more time passes, there are vaguely humorous associations with this situation. Eventually, I look to my left, past Zsuzsanna, and see a large frog of unusual appearance. Its head seems slightly oversized. It sits on the upper shelf of some sort of small white side table, facing outwards.

      There is slight amusement growing in this scene of a frog, as it is much bigger than the bugs that had caused a concern about being able to sleep comfortably.

      Looking up and past where my head was, beyond the head of our bed, I see a dark room I did not know was there. I soon notice a baby gorilla looking back at me. To its left, I then see an adult gorilla. I am also aware of the presence of an unknown male who is in the room beyond the left side of our bed, though which I do not see as an imposer (though of whom is this dream’s personified preconscious).

      Although the gorilla is large, I am not really afraid of it. I do not even consider the situation as being very unusual. Instead, I ask the unknown male if it needs some water, and the answer is yes. I get out of bed and attach a small white hose (similar to our bathtub hose) to a pipe and direct water into a large square silver container (probably about two and a half feet square). At first, I thought the container was empty, but as I direct water into it from a distance of about four feet, it seems it was at least half full. The room seems mostly clean but featureless other than the adult and young gorilla and the water container.

      This dream is very amusing as a comedic sequential augmentation of the waking transition, similar to other dreams where the waking precursor becomes larger and more dominant over time to get my dream self’s attention to generate enough of an emotional reaction and neural energy to initiate waking (which is a primary function of dreams which, bizarrely, most people do not even realize at all). It combines aspects from a number of past dreams, most specifically my recent dream “Plumbing Troubles in a Three-Tiered Miniature Zoo” (from August 26th), where I was unable to resolve the water flow though which I did with this dream. Although water induction remains a very common form of dream state initiation (which might mean that this dream is an attempt at subliminal reinduction), I think there may be more of a biological factor in this case in needing to wake up and rehydrate. Bugs, especially cockroaches, typically relate to biological factors in removing cellular waste - though sometimes even a virus, general cleaning of which is mainly believed to be related to the glymphatic system, which increases fluids in the brain when sleeping.

      The presence of a frog is a residual factor of water induction (as it is associated as a water denizen but which also spends time on land). Its appearance and general dynamics (depending on the dream) is relative to a specific level of consciousness and also marks the waking transition (more as a circadian rhythms factor) due to a tadpole being associated with the basis (or origin) of the dream state when I was very young, thus tadpole to frog (as well as caterpillar to butterfly) is a sequential waking cycle analogy, marking the same general level of consciousness as a cash register often would (relating to “checking out” of the dream state, and in fact, my dreams have taught me this by combined symbolism many times over the years).

    13. Landlord’s Pickup Truck in our Lounge Room

      by , 09-06-2017 at 10:27 AM
      Morning of September 6, 2017. Wednesday.

      I am with my wife Zsuzsanna as we are living in our present home as it is now. Our landlord, whom we have rarely ever seen in real life, somehow managed to have had his grayish blue pickup truck parked in our lounge room (yet there was no backstory to how this could have happened). It faces east, oriented left to right when looking towards our front door. My dream self does not consider the impossibility of this situation. I am somewhat annoyed. Apparently our landlord had parked it here to work on for a time, to fully repair it.

      In the bed of the pickup truck are a number of small parts. There is also a blue tarpaulin covering the bed. I make a sarcastic comment that our landlord will probably take months to fix up his pickup truck. (This is based on the real-life association of how he takes a year or more to fix up houses he owns.) I am not really looking forward to our landlord spending so much time in our lounge room working on his pickup truck over the coming months.

      Meanwhile, I had been looking at a dream-related website that I had posted on in real life (though not as often as my main sites). I look over the posts I had made one by one, though at times, it is more as if I am looking at entries in an actual dream journal of the style of when I was a teenager. Still, there is a heart symbol indicating how many people had liked a dream post. I clearly notice that the number 45 appears to the left of one red heart symbol. (This is in error, as the heart symbol on the website in real life is blue. However, the heart symbol on another site, tumblr, becomes red when clicking on it.) It surprises me that 45 people took the time to click to “like”, especially as the majority of people, as to be expected, seem to have no interest in my personal truths regarding over fifty years of dream study and personal validation. I also notice other numbers such as 23 (for older posts). The numbers seem to increase with later posts.

      The pickup truck in my dream was validated in very early childhood to have two primary meanings, though which is more of a synthesis of parallel symbolism. One, a pickup truck has a “bed”, and is thus a distorted dream state indicator. In this case, there is even a tarpaulin over the bed, which represents a blanket on a bed (and being in the dream state). More so, the pickup truck is in our lounge room, where I have sometimes fallen asleep in the same area (while watching television), though with my head westerly, not easterly as with the front of the pickup truck - though I suspect this relates to my general dislike of commercial television. Two, a vehicle as such (including cars, boats, and airplanes), in addition to being related to a distortion of a bed after entering sleep, is also directly analogous to the human body. The truck is parked, relating to the fact that I am in a certain level of consciousness, that is, not yet in the waking transition. The repair work associated with the personified preconscious (in this case, our landlord) relates to the preconscious as a biological necessity which assists in both waking as well as linking to other levels of the mind for cellular repair. There have been numerous dreams since childhood with this same basic symbolism, though rendered uniquely each time. There is no intelligent reason to pretend the truck is something else other than the parallel symbolism of my physical body, and my body as it is in bed, especially as it is indoors in our house (not on a street outside) and a direct factor of the preconscious. Despite me being typically annoyed by the preconscious and its imposition into the environments of my dreams, it is a biological necessity. It ultimately has nothing to do with waking life personas in this case.

      Additionally, consider the heart symbol. This relates to the physical body as well; the human heart. The number I notice is 45, which I assume is an age reference, especially as the numbers are seen to increment over time. It may relate to a particular instance when I was 45 in contrast to how my heart is now, though I have not looked fully into it yet.

      Of course, the last, but not least, obvious dream state indicator is the dream-related website. Still, this did not trigger full lucidity, mainly due to having used the site in real life. Computer technology as somehow rendered into paper and notebooks is a commonly recurring feature, likely a carryover from having kept dream journals from early childhood on, long before computer technology was viable for storing dream data.

    14. An Unlikely Door

      by , 09-04-2017 at 10:31 AM
      Morning of September 4, 2017. Monday.

      I am in our present bedroom in our house as it mostly is now. Curiously, at one point, I see that I am drinking a Frozen Coke with a straw. (I no longer drink cola in real life.) My wife Zsuzsanna, who is sitting to my left on the foot of our bed (the same orientation as we are in sleep, that is, she is on my left in our bed), had bought it. I consider possible health issues, but I decide that just this one, within a long time period, would not do that much damage to my health, and thus I enjoy drinking it (which proves that dream self “reasoning” is unrelated to conscious self reasoning. as if that proof would even be needed).

      I should have seen this situation as a dream state indicator (since I would never drink a Frozen Coke in reality), yet I did not, and because I did not, the preconscious kicks in, in a typical imposer role of the exact same type (and same overall mood and level of dream state awareness) since early childhood. (This of course, is one of many reasons I have never believed in “dream interpretation” as the term is usually used, simply because I understand what dreams are and how they work.)

      This time the preconscious personification occurs as a young unfamiliar male, he comes into our lounge room and gazes at me from near the front door. Of course, this greatly annoys me and I get up to chase him back outside. As he goes back onto our porch, I notice it seems late at night. I jab his chest and chin with my Olympic barbell (which has no weights on it, but is my weapon of choice in many dreams), pushing him backwards. He walks out onto the street, but I shout to him that I will “get my shotgun” if he comes back.

      Zsuzsanna joins me on our porch. I notice a number of unfamiliar people walking in both northerly and southerly directions at the intersection in the street perpendicular to ours. I consider that there is some sort of public event going on. This may be why the unknown male ended up absentmindedly coming into our house.

      Without remembering that there is no door to the entrance to our porch in reality, that is, the doorway parallel to our lounge room door (front entrance), I attempt to close a wooden door. The dynamics of this otherwise solid door make absolutely no sense, but my dream self does not catch on at all.

      Zsuzsanna watches me as I attempt to close the door over the porch entrance doorway. I do this in the understanding that it is actually our lounge room door. This makes such little sense, it is utterly absurd, because our lounge room door is actually a few feet from the porch doorway and not even hinged anywhere in that area. Still, it does not matter to my dream self as I try it anyway. (The door actually somehow seems free-floating in one way, though still has some sort of virtual hinging at times.)

      I push the door to close into the right wall of the porch, but it does not quite fit. In fact, the otherwise solid wooden door bends a bit, leaving impossible curves in the top and bottom, though seems to resume its shape when pulled back out. I pull it back out and push it back in a few times, but I do not think it will serve as a viable door. I look at the items on our porch, including the dresser, and wonder if people will take

      This dream renders the waking transition as typical doorway waking symbolism of the same basic type as since early childhood. Such dreams, like many other dreams and their inherent waking symbolism, are unrelated to waking life in any symbolic sense. (I do not believe in “dream interpretation” in that sense anyway.)

      What about this dream relating to waking life in any way? Only my wife Zsuzsanna in this case has any connection to waking life, yet the fact we are sitting at the foot of our bed signifies that even this is a dream state indicator (symbolizing, in real time, that we are asleep).

      A door is typically the implied exit point of the dream in both lucid and non-lucid dreams, though a dream can also be vivified by going through a doorway or opening a door (and in fact this is one of my main ways to induce apex lucidity). This one was more illogical than in virtually countless past dreams of the same type of waking symbolism. There are probably at least two incidental reasons, one, the door pressing and crunching against the porch wall upon attempting to fully close it as was the door to my Cubitis bedroom (thus a subliminal dream state indicator relating to a “return” to bed - that is, subliminal acknowledgement that the physical body is in bed), two, the wobbliness of the door being analogous of having a heavier blanket over me at the time (as of course a blanket yields to physical movement but can be smoothed out again when a bed is made).

      Of course, as I have written hundreds of times in my personal journal since childhood, a porch symbolizes (in real time) higher liminal space and is unrelated to waking life symbolism other than the literal implications of what a porch is (between fictional dream self identity and true conscious self identity). Additionally, the preconscious is transpersonal and always consequently the least like the dreamer (until merging with the emergent consciousness if such is the case) or otherwise there would not be the emotional contrast required to induce waking (yet I am always astounded by people who do not understand this as this is a dream’s main function). While in some cases, the preconscious takes the form of a person the dreamer may have an actual conflict with, for me, it is often far less true, as there will be conflict with the preconscious no matter what conscious self dynamics are extant. Whether or not a person has any current conflict in waking life has nothing to do with the nature of the preconscious as many people unintelligently presume (though is but one of many of the inherent falsehoods of “dream interpretation” by way of the very common Barnum effect). If I were to “get along” with the preconscious, this would possibly sustain my dream indefinitely, which is not biologically feasible or healthy. However, when I do passively coalesce with the preconscious, which is then no longer the preconscious but the emergent consciousness, I wake anyway (coalescence waking symbolism). The only real difference used to be the coloring of mood on whether my dream had a positive or negative outcome. Since I now have a greater understanding of my dreams than ever before, that coloring of mood being potentially negative, regardless of preconscious dynamics, has lessened significantly.

    15. A Cigarette Lighter is a Waterer

      by , 09-02-2017 at 03:02 PM
      Morning of September 2, 2017. Saturday.

      I find a cigarette lighter, which is something I do not have or use in real life. (In real life, however, the other day, Zsuzsanna had found that a thoughtless unknown person had put or dropped one in her baby pram with no direct indication that they had.)

      The lighter makes sparks when I test it at first, but eventually, an upwards stream of water comes out, sometimes flowing out in a long-reaching arc. I have fun for a time in watching the water flow out. It is not logical though, as much more water comes out than could possibly fit inside the lighter.

      Water is my most common analogical representation of entering sleep as dream state initiation. It has remained inherent (on a day to day basis since early childhood) to the nature and biology of sleep (from the unconscious association with having slept in the waters of the womb during the first months of existence but it also has a real-time correlation with the glymphatic system) and is why the sound of water is used on virtually endless relaxation and dream induction recordings. It is otherwise typically unrelated to waking life other than biologically. (For example, a dream of a flood could relate to physical over-tiredness or sleeping at the wrong time, though I often dream of floods in a positive context.)

      This dream is also related to reinduction, especially as fire otherwise represents growing neural activity and a waking prompt, thus being semi-lucid, I am deliberately trying to sustain the dream state with a form of dream state alchemy in manipulating water (manipulating sleep dynamics).

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