Hopeless Wanderings

I started taking a new medication and it causes me to sleep like a rock, which has caused some scary and weird experiences.

The other morning, I realized I was dreaming. I was in my room and I wanted to wake up. I tried, and couldn’t. I was laying in bed shaking and screaming. I fell off the bed and banged my head on the lamp side table. On the ground I was thrashing around SO hard and finally woke up, making a startled noise IRL which caused my boyfriend to notice.

The next morning, it happened again. I was stuck in a dream. But this time I used to to my advantage, and decided to LD. I held my hand up to summon M, and it worked but she looked different. It was a young woman with reddish brown short hair and a scarf in her hair. I asked her “does the dream mean anything??” And she replied “you’re crazy if you think it means anything” and started laughing. More people from the show joined in with her and started taunting and laughing at me. I was furious and knew that this wasn’t really M.

I haven't been on my dream recall game lately but today I was smacked with a couple lucids during a nap. I think I might have gotten lucid a total of 3 times, but these are the two I remember the best:

I was napping and kept going in and out of sleep, or at least that's what I thought. I was pretty much aware the whole time that I was dreaming. So, in this dream I was standing in a cafeteria at some kind of workplace or something, looking at a microwave. I realized, "hey, I'm dreaming, I have to remember this." So, what to do? I looked around the cafeteria and there's a door open and outside is an ocean and a beautiful, fake sunset. I contemplate flying out into the sunset but figure I'd done that enough, so decided to try to summon M. I stared at the back of a lady's head and focused. When she turned around, it was just some old woman. So, I tried to summon Andrew. I focused really hard with my hand out in front of me and made him appear, but his face and body were so glitchy I could barely tell who it was. Then I lost it, and I "woke up".

I heard music coming from down the stairs, and I thought it was my grandpa playing music. Then, I heard music coming through my ears. It was the Avett Brothers. I figured I must have fallen asleep with my headphones on, and was annoyed because I thought it would be hard to sleep with the music, even though all this itself was part of a dream. I "wake up" in my bed, know that I am dreaming. I go down the stairs and see my grandpa sitting on the couch, but decide to ignore him. I think of what my dream goals are, and remember one of them is to build something. I think about building a bridge on the lake but it's too far away and I'm scared I'll wake up trying to get there. So instead, I crouch on the floor and put my hand out. I focus hard and make a toy wood log appear. I decide to make a toy log house. I get the base down, but can't get any further before I wake up for real.

Recently I've been trying to get back into this. I know I say that every time. But it's almost a new year so thought I'd try. Here's a lucid from a few nights ago

I was dreaming, I "woke up" on the couch in the living room, which is where I was in RL, and thought I'd try to LD. I thought I was awake, so I "fell asleep" and went right into the lucid. It was night time. I was in the backyard of someone's house, and there was a tent in the middle of the yard. Right away I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to see someone who had recently passed away, DR. So I asked her to appear, as I walked around and around this tent. There was this miniature doll like house that I considered going in to explore, but decided to stick to the plan. It wasn't working, so I closed my eyes and pictured her standing in front of me. I opened my eyes, nothing, then I woke up for real.