Twoshadows

Old LD from 11-??-07

Lucid Dream:

I was at my sister's house. We had been talking. She is the sister that has cancer. In the dream she had all her hair unlike in real life. Her twin daughters were there in their pajamas and hugging me.

Then I remember I was looking in a mirror. I noticed that something weird was going on.

I called out to my sister, "Come check this out. Notice how when you look at my shirt, it's black. But when you look at it in the mirror, it's white."

It came as no shock that I was dreaming. It was if I had known all along, but that this was the first time I had really aknowleged it.

I remembered I wanted to do the Dream Name Task.

I asked my sister, "What is your dream name?"

She looked at me and said, "Janene." And then she came closer and as if revealing a huge secret, she added, "And I'm also from San Francisco."

I took that in. And then I leaned to her and said, "And my dream name is..." And then I didn't know what to say. I thought for a moment and the names Brenda and Catherine came to mind. But they didn't seem that special.

Then I remembered that I was supposed to ask someone else what my dream name was. So I asked my sister what my dream name was.

She looked again at me like she was revealing something extrememly confindential, and said, "Your dream name is my old nick name....it's Suzy-Q."


And at that moment of discovery, I woke up.

I shared this with my sister, and we had a good laugh--especially at the "I'm from San Francisco" part. And she also thought it was cool that my "dream name" was her old nick name.

Dream:

I was a some kind of fitness bootcamp with Jillian Michaels. I remember being very angry. I was telling someone that even though my size 6/8 wasn't really huge, I just felt fat and wasn't having any luck doing anything about it. Later I left the group and just sat somewhere being mad.

Later Jillian came and talked to me. She was calm and wanted me to talk to her about why I was so upset. She made me feel so comfortable that I opened up to her and told her that I still hadn't gotten over my sister's death. That it was something that I thought about every day. And that it was affecting my health. And I started crying and couldn't stop.

She let me cry, then talked to me about how it was okay to be upset, but that now I needed to take care of myself.

I must have felt better because I then suddenly wanted to take some pictures of Jillian and I together. I pulled out the camera and took some pictures. But they were too close and overexposed.

I haven't been recording my dreams lately. I need to do better. I thought this one from last night was interesting.


Tom DeLonge and his wife Jennifer were sitting with me in what was supposed to be my family room. I pulled out a box that I had had for a long time. It was full of pictures and letters that Tom had written at an earlier time in his life. I told him that I had kept it, but that I had never opened it and looked at anything. He seemed very interested to see what was inside. He started reading old letters and would comment or laugh from time to time. As he read he sorted them in piles. He finally pushed a pile toward me and told me that I could read the things in that pile. I looked forward to reading them. I wondered what was in the other pile. I was knew it must be the more personal/private things. I was suddenly glad that this box had been at my house and not in the hands of someone who wouldn't have respected his privacy, who would have read the letters--or worse-- posted them online.

I wanted to ask Tom some questions, but as I looked at him I saw that he was looking through a magazine. I looked at his wife. She was just sitting quietly on the floor. I decided to go sit by her. I plopped down next to her and said something like, "Hi Jennifer. I don't really know much about you. Tell me about yourself."

And she started talking to me. She told me that life had been good but that 6 (I think) years ago everything changed when her dad was diagnosed with cancer. And she started telling me about the hell her family gone through with that.

I then told her that my life had changed (and then I couldn't remember how long it had been since my sister had gotten cancer. I thought and thought, but finally said "several years ago") I told her how my sister had died and how much I missed her.


-------

I know that this last part of the dream was inspired by my recent kayaking trip. I was with a group of ladies--some of which I knew and a few that I didn't. And I had done pretty much exactly what I did in the dream. I found a quiet time when we weren't kayaking to ask them to tell me about themselves so I could get to know them better.

The interesting thing is I found that Cancer had touched almost all our lives. Three (of seven) were cancer survivers. Two had husbands that had had cancer. And two of us had lost sisters to cancer. The only one who hadn't had cancer (or at least didn't mention it) had recently gone through an ugly divorce. It made me realize how many tragedies this group had overcome.

I was suddenly in this room with a group of people I knew. Everyone seemed happy and they were greeting me. It finally dawned on me that I had died. It had happened so fast that I had hardly been aware of the transition. In fact, everything felt so normal I commented on it. Someone mentioned that life on "this side" was so much the same that unless you were looking for differences you wouldn't notice. I saw someone next to me that I think was Daron. I gave him a small punch in the stomach and said, "Pretty much the same except for the absence of pain."

I noticed Philip was with me and I wondered if he had been with me when I died, but I didn't ask. Instead I started looking around for my sister. Finally I saw her and we started talking. I realized that she was so alive and well, that I no longer felt sad for her that she had died young. In fact, I felt happy that were were both here and dead. Everything seemed so pleasant and calm. I knew I wouldn't miss anything about Earth life.

Old LD from 10-22-07

I forgot to add this one from a few weeks ago. It wasn't a long one, but it had a lucid moment. I think I'll add it here because I think every moment of lucidity should be accounted for.


Dreams:

I had an interesting stretch of dreams this morning after a WBTB. I even had a lucid moment.


In the dream I was back with my sister that has cancer. [Ususally when I dream about "my sister" I'm talking about my younger sister. My older sister doesn't show up as often.] We were in a little room that was supposed to be in her new-ish house.

We were looking through all these pictures and reminiscing. Then my sister pulled out a large picture and say, "Hey, you've never seen this one yet , have you?" The picture was of myself with her 14 year old son. In the picture he looked more grown up. It was a very flattering picture of us. We both look like we could be models.

I then pulled out a box that not only had pictures but a pair of my sister's socks. The socks were a pinkish tan color with chocolate brown stripes. I told her how cute they were. Then I remembered that they were similar to a pair of socks that she had supposed gotten me for Christmas last year. I figured she had gotten them at the same place.

Then my mom and other sister were there too looking through these boxes with us.

The next thing that I remember is walking through her kitchen and seeing the little black boy there. He was about 3 years old . At first I can't figure out why he is there. But then I remembered that she babysat for a few kids.

I reached out and try to hug this little boy, but he wanted nothing to do with me. I then looked over and see two little black girls. I also try to talk with them and be friendly, but they both walked away from me. I felt bad.


There seems to be a transition here. I think this is still part of the same dream, though.

I was walking though a college campus with a preschool group. One of the little girls was Japanese. She seemed to like me and let me pick her up. We somehow got a little behind the others, so I finally had to run to try to catch up. At one point I tripped and we rolled on the grass. Neither of us were hurt at all. I got up and felt like something was missing, but couldn't figure out what.

I looked a ways ahead and saw the last of the preschool goup head into the store/restaurant. I finally caught up and walked in. The group was now gone. I didn't have the little girl anymore. The lady inside asked me if I wanted any of the free lunch they had been serving to the preschool group. I said, "Sure".

It was then I realized that my purse was missing. I started to panic. I had lost it on the college campus. I knew that it was very unlikely that I would ever see it again. I started telling the lady I was with how I had lost it. She was sympathizing with me.

Then I remember saying, "You know, I think it's going to be okay. When I wake up my purse will be there. It's not really gone. This has happened to me before, and when I woke up the purse was there. I just need to try and stop worrying about it now."

Then I have no idea what happened next. I do know lucidity ended (if it was ever really there to begin with. Even though I was saying that, I never had that "Ah ha, I'm dreaming" moment. This is the first time I can think of there I made reference to myself dreaming with out truly becoming lucid. )


I then remember being in my basement. There was a crack in the wall and my cat was watching some silverfish bugs come out of the crack. She was swatting her paw at them.

I really think something is missing from my memory here. But the next thing I remember is being attacked by these large metal bugs. They were black and about a foot across. one looked like a spider and the other a scorpion.

I was upstairs at this point and I ran down into the basement. I frantically started looking for a hammer or something to smash them with. All I could find were a pair of roller blades. I picked one one of them and when the bugs came down the stairs I started smashing them with the roller blade.

Amazingly they both just fell apart like they were cheap toys. I then ran my hands through the pile of pieces. I suddenly thought about movies that I had seen. I figured it was a very good idea to put the pieces in separate bags to dispose of them, just in case they all came together and came to life again.

Then my alarm went off...

Old LD from 10-21-07


Dream:

I remember I saw my older sister that has cancer. I went up to her and said, "S, how are you doing? How are your legs doing?" [In real life her legs hurt so bad that she's now on crutches or in a wheel chair.]

She talked to me for a few minutes about what the doctors had been telling her. She had all her hair, unlike in real life.

The next thing I remember is that we are now in this park with the rest of the family having a picnic. I remember flying up to these powerlines and then back down.

Doing this made me suddenly lucid. I went up to my sister and said something like, "Oh my gosh, S, I'm lucid! I'm going to take you flying with me."

I took her arm and lifted her into the air with me. I said, "Let's fly to the mountains over there."

She said, "I'm not sure I can make it that far."

I said, "I think you can-- you're with me. But I'll stop when you need to."

We flew out of the park and over the Safeway parking lot and over the stores.

I noticed that music was playing really loud and was distracting me from the experience. I believe the band was INXS. For some reason I was sure that this music was playing in real life. I thought to myself that I needed to try to turn off the music with my real body while still remaining in the dream.

I could feel what I thought was my real body reaching out and turning the knob on my car CD player. [Goodness know what I thought I was doing having my real body asleep in a car] I got the music turned down most of the way, to the point it didn't bother me as much.

We flew a little ways further and then the dream faded.

I thought I had awakened in this motel room where my family was suppose dto be staying. I was disappointed for not being able to fly to the mountains. So I concentrated on getting back into my dream.

Suddenly I was standiing in the Safeway parking lot next to my High school best friend M and her boyfriend.

I told them that I was dreaming and going to fly to the mountains that we in front of us. I invited them to fly with me. But I think only the boyfriend followed.

When I got to the mountains, I was alone. I flew to the rocky ledge and touched the rock face. The rock was a brown color and very rough.

I suddenly thought about the Tasks. At first I thought that being in the mountains made it impossible to do the Tasks. Then I thought, "Well I could just make a mirror appear right here."

But then I thought, "Nah..I've tried that one twice now. I want to do the Haunted House one again since I only did that one once."

I flew along the mountain side looking for an old house. I then saw ahead of me a place where the mountain went in. I knew it was a cave. I suddenly thought, "Wouldn't it be so cool if the haunted house was in the cave?"

I got close and I indeed saw that it was a cave. I also saw that the front of the cave was built in. I saw it had shutters (for some reason I felt it had to have shutters to qualify as a haunted house). I flew to the entrance. It was actually built with very nice dark polished wood.

I went inside and started to look around. My first thoughts were that I wanted real ghost in this house not just decorations. The inside of the house seemed small. Around me everything was built out of the same beautiful dark polished wood. On several of the tables and other flat surfaces there were large white candles.

I flew to the back of the house and waited for something else to appear, but at the point the dream started fading again.

I ended up "waking up" in the same motel room. I had been sleeping on the floor. I tried to stay motionless so that I could try to reenter the dream. But then other people inthe room started talking and made me fully "wake up". I went into the motel's bathroom and saw that there was something in the tub that looked like spilled arpicot jam.

At that point I woke up for real, and felt that I needed to write this down.

Dream:

I dreamed that I was standing in my old living room. Suddenly my sister Susan came in. She looked like she did when we were in college. I went to her and hugged and hugged her, and she hugged me back. I started sobbing. I had missed her so much. I knew that I was the only one in the room that could see her. Part of me wondered what anyone else would think if they saw me . But I didn't care and I kept hugging her.


This was a very emotional dream. Just writing this is making me cry again.

Yesterday's dreams:

I had climbed to the top of this huge cliff/mountain. I was alone and I got tired so I fell asleep on this little ledge next to the highest steepest part of the cliff. I "woke up" and saw where I was and freaked out. I was so scared that I couldn't move. I noticed my cat was now with me sleeping by my head (as she was in real life). I noticed she was right my the edge. I was a little worried for her. I didn't want her to fall. But I knew cats were pretty sure footed, so I started worrying about me again. I had no idea how I was going to get off this cliff when I was so terrified I couldn't move. So I just laid there.

Finally this man comes to me. He looked about 45 or 50 years old and Mexican, but spoke with an American accent. He told me his name was Journel. He was very calm and confindent. He convinced me to take his hand and stand up. Once I was up I started getting my confidence back, and I knew I would be able to make it down the montain.

Dream 2:

I was excited to start this long hike. It was something I had wanted to do for a long time. I had gotten all this stuff ready for it. It seems like there were things distracting me from getting started, but finally I was off. But when I looked at my watch it was 4:00 in the afternoon. I had wanted to leave by 6:00 in the morning because this was going to take about 12 hours. But I decided that I was just going to go anyway. I was with Susan at this point, and Carl, I think.

Dream 3:

Another bad bathroom dream.

I was in a large group of people. I think it was by a mall of sorts. I needed to go to the bathroom. I wanted to go in the mall to my sister's Salon. I had to wait in a line to get into the mall. And then I found that I had to have some kind of pass to get in. But I convinced the lady that I knew the person in the Salon.

When I got to the restrooms I was that they were really just four toilets sitting out at the side of the store. There was a curtain that was supposed to pull across all four. I watied until there was a spot open and sat on the toilet. I couldn't get the curtain to pull across. I looked out and saw that the store was full of guys. I felt really embarrassed. But no one was paying too much attention to those of us on the toilets, so I finally just went.

Long LD from two nights ago:

Ed called me and told me to look at the Moon outside. I went out onto my oorch. I was at my old home in LA. I saw the full moon. It was very large. I then was what looked like a satelite passing the moon. It then sped up and brightened up until it looked like a fireball. I thanked Ed for hainvg me go out to see that.

Then I was in my kitchen. Several family members were there. There was a hole on the floor and water was leaking in. Ed was there. Marie asked him about the army.

We then went back out to the porch and my telescope was there. We pointed it at the moon and looked at it. I was amazed by all the detail I could see. I could even see red streaks on the rock which made the moon look like it was made from sandstone.

Something about this seemed odd. I wondered if this was a dream. But I knew that this was real. This was way too real to be a dream. But at the same time I decided to jump up in the air like I would in a dream because it seemed like a funny thing to do.

Well, I jumped and hovered a sec. It wasn't much, but I thought about it. I knew that in real life I wouldn't hover for even a second.

Suddenly I knew without a doubt that I was dreaming. I flew up in the air over my old neighborhood. It felt amazing. I noticed that I could feel the wind and the coolness of the night air and the feeling in my stomach of going up and down.

I wanted to go even faster, but strugged, like I usually do. I focused on rockets coming out of my feet, and I felt like I was going faster, but nothing around me moved much faster.

I then remembered that I needed to do a Task of the Month. One Task was to go Trick-or Treating. I landed back down in my neighborhood where I Trick or Treated as a child. I seemed really big, like my neighborhood was made out of dollhouses. But I leaned close to a house and rang the doorbell. Someone opened the door and I said "Trick-or-Treat!" They put something in a bag I was holding. I didn't see it, but I knew it was a tootsie roll. I went to another house. This time the person saw me and ran away screaming. I went to another house, and they gave me another toosie roll. The person in the fourth house ran away again. I laughed and knew that they were programmed to do that.


I then looked around. Things around me looked like a World of Warcraft setting. I saw these kittens all around me in various places. I thought, "Oh, that's for the new quest. If I had accepted the quest the kittens would be all sparkley." I wished I was on the quest so I could collect the kittens.

I floated up in the air again and came to a boardwalk. I landed. I saw a good looking guy and decided to kiss him. I didn't even bother to say anything to him first. I just pulled him to me and kissed him. After the kiss, he looked at me with a surprised, but not unhappy look. Then as if to get in the spirit of things, he then pulled an older lady to him and kissed her. After that kiss he looked at me to make a face, like "that wasn't really a good idea. I should have just kissed you again." So I asked him to kiss me again. but for some reason he started talking about "okra" and we never did kiss again.

I then decided to talk to some dream characters. I saw a bar next to me. I went up to the counter and saw the bartender. He was about 55 with graying hair and he was very tall and had a beer belly and stubble on his face.

I leaned toward him across the counter and asked him the first thing that came to mind, "Am I dreaming?"

"Yes." He answered.

"How do you know?" I asked.

I can't remember what he said, but he started going off on all this scientific stuff. It really surprised me to get this from a bartender. I then asked him something else that I no longer remember. This time he said, "Ask Nurse May." And he pointed to a lady standing next to him.

I leaned to her and said, "Hey, Nurse-- I mean, hi May..." And then I asked her if I was dreaming.

"Yes." she answered, and I am pretty sure she went off on a complicated explanation why she knew that.

I then asked, "What do you see when you look at me?"

She said some word that I didn't understand, "Ethano..."----something.

I then turned to someone else by me and asked then to look up that word for me since I was unfamiliar with it. They read me the definition...."one who is ruled by the hourglass."


Hmmm...that was odd.

Then the dream started to fade. I looked over to the bartender again and also at my hands and willed the dream to come back to full clarity. It seemed to do so.

Then I was back in the World of Warcraft setting. Around me were frogs. I knew the quest was to chase the frogs. But I remember somehow my sister Susan was there. I didn't want to do the quest anymore. I wanted to talk to my sister, who was dead. But then I knew that I could do both. So I said, "Self, go chase the frogs while I talk to Susan." And I saw myself go running after the frogs. And I started talking to Susan.


And that is all I remember. I am pretty sure that there were a couple of other parts of the dream that I don't remember.

Okay, moving on the the DV Member Dream:

It was actually a very long complex dream. I'll share the fragments that I remember. I was with my sister (that died) for a while. I thought it was nice that we could be together again after so long. We were staying at this hotel type place with a large group of people. There seemed to be a lot going on. At one point we were river rafting. Then we were climbing in the snow. I had a raft/sled and slid down this tough part of the montain. It felt like I was white water kayaking. I was able to maneuver the sled thing fairly well. The group was impressed with my skills.

Then my sister was gone and her mother-n-law was giving a speech about how horrible cancer was. In the middle of the speech I realized I had left my purse behind. I went back to the hotel room. There were new people in the room. It didn't surprise me. I knew that there were going to be new people joining me. I tried to use the restroom because I really had to go. But they were cleaning it. I thought. "It figures. At least it won't be so gross and dirty like it was last time."

Then I was with this large group that had a lot of little kids in it. I had climbed up this tower thing to hear the person who was teaching the seminar. Some kids climbed up with me. One little girl almost fell. I had to help her.

Then I was talking to Ninja about lucid dreaming. I think we had been eating breakfast together. As we left to go back to the hotel, I said, "I don't want to invade your privacy or anything, but are you staying here for business or just for fun?"

Ninja thought for a second then answered with, "Well, I'm getting to do everyting that I wanted to here." Which made me assume that he was here for both. I thought about answering back about why I was here. And then I wasn't so sure why I was here. I had been having fun, but wasn't I here for the seminar? I wasn't sure what to say so I just said goodbye and crossed the street toward my hotel.