I am in a retreat setting. There is a guy who has arrived back to meet both me and Louise but also of course continue with his meditation. He has climbed to the highest mountain in Spain and is prepared to put all his differences aside and get back to the thorough job of meditation. He is so joyful and full of respect for us even though he is so much older than us. We are in a small flat like area that is not the usual setting I am use to in retreat. There is an office out the back and a social area in the middle.
We move to an actual retreat and we are sharing about different aspects of our life. We eventually get into a meditation and and after a short session there is a chance to look at some of items on display. I am helping out with the displays and as I get some of the items ready a lady my friend Bernie Jeffrys notices the pain or trapped nerves in my shoulder. She puts a healing hand on it and I go into meditation. I can feel my breathing lightly in a one-pointed way and even when one of the retreatants come up to me asking me about the products I do not answer as the focus and the healing seems so important. The pain moves further up in my shoulder. It has shifted and Bernie looks at me with soft eyes and I say that really helped the pain has moved on to a new stage.
Brian is explaining to me about all these different ritual items. I think he is just talking to me one to one. He starts also explaining the Christmas tree which should be a dream sign but he does it so convincingly I believe it. There is something really magical about the tree as he explains it. When a look back there are lots of other Sangha members at the meeting.
Ok well this dream really cleared up any confusion from yesterday. I was with friends they seemed like school friends at a conference but they were all highly addicted to sex. Some had it in a mild way while others were full on. I was living among them at this conference and had to work with them because there seemed like nowhere else to go. Pity I was not lucid as I would have taken the first flight out of there. It was really seedy and everyone was addicted and thought it was normal. There was ques from the men to line up as subjects to get satisfaction from women as objects. Some places were worse than others and a couple of guys were trying to persuade me to stay involved and they thought it was completely normal and nothing wrong with it.
I was the observer in all this bit like watching in a tv or being shown it)In the next dream the guy who does my workout video was making love to his wife. This had been going well for years. They had sex normally not very exciting slam bam thank you mam type thing but they still loved each other very much. He decided he was going to get into tantric sex, semen conservation and boost up their sex life. She agreed but was not sure about it. The sex got steamyer for a while but then he started to go crazy and loose control. There was a surge of energy in his body where he thought he was great but his wife was getting hurt.
I am with my dream guide, my actual dream guide in his actual form. The room is dark and he is giving a talk to about 30 people. I am about 4 steps away from him sitting on the floor. He is looking for feedback when I immediately express my gratitude to him for what he has shown me. There is such a close intimate connection where I feel he is right beside me listening within me. I express that although I have picked up a bit that he has so patience to deal with how far removed I am from the truth. I feel his love and him saying that it is what he wants to do. I am requesting to be freed of some more of my troubles.
I have this small pack of smarties. They are very sweet ones and small and are in a hard plastic container a bit like Tic Tacs but bigger. These smarties were present in my previous dream and have some significance. My dream guide had changed his form into another kind of dream guide who focuses more on clearing negative actions. I offered some of the smarties to him and he accepts them but I know he does not really like them but he says he will eat them for me and tell me what they communicate to him.
I am on a walk in the countryside. It is very open with not much scenery. I am walking quickly with a big stick that almost looks like a crutch. I look like I am on a mission and yes actually I want to sit down to eat my food and email my friend. I see two guys ahead. One guy looks Asian if not Tibetan. They are laughing at how restless I am and how quickly I am walking. I joke to them saying I am rushing so I can sit down and see a picture of my love. Then the Tibetan young man (tall, slim, sallow skin, short black hair) says in this incredibly clear communication that: "Sex does not have a purpose. It is not real. There is nothing to be gained from it. It is like a dream. It is not really there" Then he hands me a note explaining more. There were four lines but I only read the first one before I woke up but I did see the other 3 but am not 100% sure of their content:
1. The only reason we are in this world is to have sex (the urge to procreate)
2. Sex is not real it has no purpose.
Slept in a different place than usual as I was saying. This is a very good place for dreaming and lucidity. My mind did not shift into dreams at all. When I was asleep it just held the same place as I was when I awake. I was very still. I was nervous about relaxing and going of into dream cause it was a new place and I also had a killer headache all night which helped me focus my attention on the present. There were a couple of times when I knew I was asleep but was still I in the same place that I fell asleep in FA and so could have gone off into dream and explored whatever. However I was very happy just to be there and on retrospect this was very helpful. I am always saying how dreaming is not dreaming it is lucidity and here I really experienced that and I am working towards a dream goal of meditating when becoming lucid because I know all the adventures to be pointless, from a dream yoga point of view, and just reinforce bad worldly habits. The next time I am going to trust the lucidity more and do some meditation methods. Looking forward to snuggling up in my new spot again soon. And the stary sky that you and patience were talking about. TOTALLY know what you mean it is like the roof comes of my head and there is so much space and the place where I am sleeping becomes totally safe. Happy Days
This was a very vivid hospital scene where I was waiting for my anesthetic before an endoscopy. An endoscopy involves quite a lot of hospital tech including the usual blood pressure and pulse, anesthetic plus the machine to do the investigation into the stomach. It is a long tube which goes in the mouth and has a camera on the end. There are also devices for taking samples. I was on the hospital bed and one of the team a lady in her late 40s perhaps who seemed very kind but I knew was just doing here job. I said to her that I usually get a heavy anesthetic because I can be troublesome and reject the scope. She said "Oh yes I remember you from years ago. That is no problem.". They would normally never say something that impolite so I was a bit shocked by that. Anyhow she placed what i thought would be the usual stuff in my mouth but it felt different it was small but I trusted the process. She said to the team that she was going to administer the anesthetic. As she did I started to feel the effects of it and instead of going completely out and then waking up after in the recovery bed I just woke up at home this morning
In another dream before this I met some good friends from the past. They were happy and alert as usual. We were at a retreat and were gathering around the table. I was bringing a friend with me who I forget who it was. This was not the normal retreat setting but it was very kind and warm atmosphere.
In the dream before that I met an old friend of mine who is best friends of my brother in law. He was wondering what I was up to these days. We were in the City chatting and he was asking me how many rooms were in my house. He was happy that I was doing well. The city was looking dark and rainy but with plenty of activity. It was noisy.