Crusader's Journal

11.20.13

Can't remember how lucid comes. A place near home. I see a man, he is bright pure white, and hovering over the ground in а horizontal position face to ground. I came closer, know from him that he Krilatiy, and I thought he is the same name user from forum (Russian lucid dreams forum). Krilatiy (Крылатый) means Winged on Russian. He looks like angel, fully bright white with classic angel wings and white robe. We talked for nearly all time, I remember the main probably.
First he told something about the dark demonic essences. I said that against them the cross protects very well. I show him my cross on neck, and told how I recently banish some essence and demons in astral. Krilatiy said that is nice.
We moved by flying over the ground. Flew smoothly and relaxed up to my house. I'm not hurry and calmly watched around. Drew attention to awareness, it is high almost like in reality. I view space and felt especially ghostly. And I myself was very ghostly.
At one moment Krilatiy become invisible, but continued to talk with me. I looked at the empty air, and knew that he is here. Again he became visible, and I ask him how I look? he said that I also look like angel.
We came to the house. I saw in the sky fighter jet, he flew very high. I say, let's teleport into the cockpit and fly in it, Krilatiy agreed. I looked at the plane and wanted to be in it, expressed a wish with voice, imagining that I'm in it, closed-open eyes, etc. Krilatiy doing the same thing as me, but we could not, and the jet was out of sight. Then I heard a loud explosions, looked to the direction from the sound came, and saw bright light flashes. Krilatiy entered the house, I did the same. Woke up some time later.

Still is the only experience with a mirror in a lucid dream.

Summer 2013

Dreamed that I went for a walk with a dog (which is not from real life). I go out into the yard, and here I realize myself in a dream. Dog is disappeared in this moment.
Sunny positive day. I remembered my plan - look at myself in the mirror. Started searching mirror, walk on the road in the yard, looking around, and saying "mirror, mirror". Two men appeared beside me, they have a large mirror. Rectangular glass, without a frame. I look at it, reflection is cloudy, could not see myself. I decided to seek a second mirror. My wish was fulfilled, saw mirror in few meters from me, it is same as the first. I go up and look, and again cloudy reflection, trying to peer and could discern only my transparent contours, not facial features.
Then I look at myself directly, see normally my body, hands, legs, and clothes which is not from real. I wanted to fly and awake when started it.

11.19.13

Winter, night. I see an unusual golden color lamb, he is deity, but something happened with him. His kicked out from somewhere, or he fled himself. I saw this in such image, lamb flew a very long distance through the air, close to pine forest, and fell down on the snow. Then he decided to dig a hole in the snow, and began do it. It seemed to me, that it did not greatly upset him, because he is deity, and actually nothing bad could happen. He just wanted to rest and sleep in the burrow. Then I see a sectional schematic. He digged a very big burrow, a narrow passage on top, a circular burrow below, the volume is probably 100 times more him. When he had finished, he fell asleep on the bottom. While digging he was seen by a large herd of ordinary gray sheep. They came to his burrow and followed his example, all began to climb into his burrow, and completely filled it, that in the burrow is not left empty space. They are lying on sleeping magic lamb and on each other. Sheeps also filled the whole passage, and a few left to sleep at the entrance of the burrow. I thought, what a terrible claustrophobia have these sheep, they do not have enough air, and if someone from the bottom wants to get out, it will be quite impossible to do. The only thing was clear, that with golden lamb nothing will be, because he is immortal, he slept peacefully.

Nov/12/13

Winter day. I'm in a place similar to a park, people walk on the paths, hilly snowy terrain, no many trees. I was moving quickly, flying close the ground, and lucidity comes in this. Continue to enjoy flight, fly almost touching the snow, flew over the hills, felt that I overcome the law of gravity. I was approached by someone, who is not a man, it seems it was the thing who spoke - children's toy :) and ask me "how are you move like that?" I said "this is my dream, and I do what I want". Then it all becomes into some nonsense, I was lying on the snow with this toy and we are communicate someway... and in this I lost my awareness. I'm going down the hill to a small town, got into the house, in it I find a girl and started to have fun with her. I have small understanding that this is a dream. She resisted, but not much, not screaming, and she said that her boyfriend came, warned me in advance. I held her and we hide behind the wall, she is silent. I got from somewhere a syringe with tranquilizer! Guy went near, I injected him in the back, and he immediately falling to sleep, fell down, but not completely asleep, again injected him in the head, and he passed out. I said to girl that when he wake up, nothing will be remembered. Funny that she was glad all this and we continued fun with her.

Sleep paralysis from dream by a teleportation. I had a dream in which I go to a some place, I needed to ask a permission, but I went there without it. On the walls were laser sensors, that have marked me. I knew that soon I will be found and was so ashamed. This place has no other exit but to go back, so I decided to teleport out of there, no matter where, closed my eyes and wished to teleport, and I appear in my body.
I understand that I was lying in sleep paralysis, lucid comes, no phantom sensations, no vibration. I decide to stabilize by rubbing hands, started rub them, which I haven't seen, but was a some vision, instantly felt the touch, sensation was unpleasant, rubbed them 10 seconds and felt that I get a stabilize. Has decided to move away as possible from the body, and I crawled on hands and knees, the vision was gone (simply get up out of body at then time for some reason I could not), I got down of bed to the floor, crawled to the window and at this point drew attention to awareness, it was almost like in real life. Further happened that I came out the window, as I climbed through the window or wall, and only after a vision appeared. I'm hovered in the air outside the window. I look into the yard, he is not such as in the real life, only grass beautiful soft green color and light mist over it, I say to myself "Astral Oh My God!" and awake! Apparently lost control of delight. Just wake up without sleep paralysis as if he was not. Fall asleep.

And had a long lucid, with ~50 percent of lucidity, but my mind was worked clear. When wake up I forgot many, write episodes.
Dreamed images of people and a lot of things, moving picture in black-white, place like a shopping mall. I was a immaterial observer, and I decided to imagine myself there to enter inside, I imagine that I'm moving there in the body, trying to move quickly to realize, as a result I appear inside with lucidity. It was the first place and I can't remember nothing of here.
Then I remember another place in huge lobby of some cultural facility, very nice, all in stone. Here were guy and girl with me, we are talking of something. At this place was an unusual sculpture, and this guy jumped on it soaring, did a beautiful flip, and landed skillfully on top of the sculpture. They said me to show something like that. I started trying to fly smoothly, began to wave my hands, and with spurts flew on the sculpture. I was told that it was so-so. After that I stayed with girl, she led me to another place, it seems we moved flying, holding hands.
The cave, light, white sand and underground river. There meeting, a lot of people, and the chief speaks, but I do not remember any of it, I was engaged in other observations are not particularly listening, keeping understanding that this is my lucid dream. Guide girl was still here. Remember I drew attention to the quality of dream, in this place picture become worse, appear dimness, unrealistic, gaps in perception. I restored the quality by concentration, peering, and touching sand on the ground, sensations as in real life. I saw the laptop and there is a message, I read, it was not the words, but sets of letters and meaning I could not understand, then I turned away and looked at message two more times and each time the order of the letters changed. I saw cookies and eat one, it seems tasty.
In the cave wall was a passage, I go into it with a man. We come in the some hall, in the twilight, on the floor a very beautiful golden carpet. And why we have started the fight on the carpet, as if sparring, without anger. He defeated me, hit me in the belly so that I could feel slight pain and knocked the breath. At the same time I kept understanding that it a dream.
Last place, I was at some apartment, there a woman, she immediately began to chase me, with something in her hands, I ran to the kitchen and jumped on the windowsill. Stand on it and call for help, "help me <name>!, help me <name>!, help me <name>!" sounds like a song. Then I think that's so stupid to call him because of such nonsense, I folded hands as in prayer and begin to say, "forgive me <name>, that I called you because of this, I'm sorry <name>!". I could not run away from this woman, and awake.

17.09.13

Second falling asleep.
Winter in a dream. Dreamed that I ski, regional competition of skiers. I met a neighbor on the track, he said that necessary to enter to the top eight for a cash reward, I think the top eight is cool. And I skiing without skis, I'm soaring in the air over the track. Then I decided to slide up to my house, a neighbor following me. When I come up and wait him, I'm doing such fun circles near the door, without skis but as with it. It seems a logical conclusion of dream, I realized that, and lucidity come to me.
Think I need to talk with him, went to him, he said "I will go" I asked him "Who are you?" he ask me the same "and who are you?" I say "I'm a man and I have a physical body". More I remember bad, but the main, he said about himself, he is an essence, has no physical body, and even said his name "Lord of the Shadows". The feeling was such that he had no choice when I asked a question and he must tell the truth. He still looked like a neighbor.
After that a second one appeared here, he looked like an old man, who lived here few years ago, but now has moved. First essence which is Lord of the Shadows gone into the house, probably because speaking directly with a person it's hard to him, and his friend came to help. I stayed on the street and spoke with the second, he said me that they are essences and feed mainly on human fear, as well other low feelings. He said that Lord of the Shadows is their boss. While talking with him, I already felt slight fear inside, but I knew I should not show it to them.
Then main moment, old man asked me "do you have gold?" I said, "yes golden cross - holy cross", I instantly realized that he was afraid of him. He became to move away from me, I said "Don't be afraid I will not get it" I wanted to continue talking. His face expression changed, it has become a vampire, but I was not afraid, it was clear that he is not rival to me. But actually, perhaps it was not quite so, and I have been greatly tense, everything went black, and I wake up.

I appear on a very wide field in the dream. I thought that I should be realize, the idea came like if I suggested to myself, and I become move quickly across the field, finally I was realize. Look around, a very beautiful field, green-blue-purple grass, light as on sunrise, far away I see the village houses, and the mountains on another side, I fly to It.
First I tried to fly to the top, but cannot, flew to the foot. Then I had to climb, quickly move up. Orange canyons, sheer cliff 90 degrees, the surface rough and sharp, I feel pain, but I knew that a dream, and do not cut myself.
Remember that I climb up with some aggression, overcoming himself, then specially looked down, it was quite high. Was the moment when I stopped, but realize that I need to move or it will be awake.
Higher I was in a place where could not climb further, the rocks were already gray, was trying to fly but it did not work, a sense of the body has seemed heavy, and somehow I climb up anyway.
At the top is already ice, strong wind and snow, the visibility of several meters. I climbed to the top, it is flat and smooth. I see a small cave on the slope down and in it naked girl, I held her hand and raise up, kiss her, and awake.

I awake and instantly want to go back into sleep, only move to comfortable position. Start repeat the mantra mentally with intention of lucid dreaming. The mantra is the first five verses of St. John's Gospel, as suggested in concentration technique from the "Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception" book.

See a long dream, where at the end I was put into some prison and at the same time the clinic, skip it.
When I'm walking down the hall, it was no longer madhouse but the normal hospital, and there I realize I'm dreaming. I think about myself in reality, tell myself first and last name, pay attention to the awareness, and it began to amplify. That was my plan in those days.
Then I went into some room, there are many children running around and sit at the tables, I go between them, children touch and look at me. I see the door to the second room, and go to it. At the entrance, on the table I see a girl, she looks like Angelina Jolie. Come up and looked at her, she looks at me, I see that is not Angelina Jolie, and girl 12 years. I go into next room, there is the same, returned to the first room.
Was bored, I want to get out of here, think I need to find a portal to another location or any exit away. I look around, can not find any portal or exit, and I saw the window. I see outside a very beautiful wooded mountain, it is a way out. I went to the window and begin to penetrate through it, there were two glasses, passed through them, standing on the ledge, putting my hands along the wall. Old brick house, facade is not repaired. Children ran up the window and look at me. Feel the cold wind, air is fresh and pleasant. large distance to mountain. I look at the streets of the city, looking down height of about 5 floors, was a bit scared, but I knew that I was in a dream and nothing to fear.
I think what to do, jump or not, decide not to jump because afraid to awake, think maybe I fly down smoothly, but not sure what will happen, decided to just slide down the wall. I turned and took hold of the ledge, it broke at once and I slowly fly down, fragments flying around me. Landing softly, near falling fragments, when hitting the ground broken into black sand. And I become to lose the picture, dream faded, and awake

July 2013

In those days I was trying to get out of body by direct way before sleep, it is successful one. About 12 evening I went to bed with intention of direct way, and relax on the back without moving and calm the mind. Attempting to not fall asleep and catch slumber. Had a condition of semi-sleep, then was short dip in consciousness, one episode of dream, where I go on the field, after I was in the body with phantom sensations. Understood what was happening, awareness come back to me, and I try to get out. Crawl from my body, strong resistance pulls me back, and no vision. It is impossible to break away, and thinking "Motivation is not enough, there is no desire to fight". I ceased to apply effort and probably I was back into body. Then I think "if I can't, I just wish to appear in the room" and next moment I was standing in my room.

I immediately knew that came out, remember these feeling and happy. At once was stable space, no gaps in perception. I came to the window and look at it, see the yard. Decide to go through glass, but could not to pass through it. Then I try to go through the wall, put my hands into it, made an effort, and it does not work too. Look outside and see that there is not even beautiful, the yard is not like in real life and not embellished, landscape such as an location in some old computer game, got bored, and changed my mind to get off.

I think what can be done and remember one thing I wanted to do - look at my physical body. Turned back at room, see walls with a little gray lines and dashes, on bed I saw someone under a blanket. There was a slight feeling of anxiety, something like: I do it for the first time, it is important moment but gained confidence, going closer and knelt before him. I look and see my face, I was lying on right side, and at that moment my body head rises, opens his eyes, looking at me and starts to do some grimaces, in the eyes is seen that there seems to be no consciousness now, an unpleasant sight, but I decided to endure it and look at it for a while.

Having seen enough, I got up and thought what to do next. I decide to leave the room, open a door, handle is opened as in real life even with same sound.
Walk in the hallway, and wanted to enter into next room, door was open. As soon I come some one said "who is here?" I'm afraid that I will seen as a ghost and ran back to my room. Then I thought that is a good result, and decided to return into body at will, close to my body and wished to return, immediately open eyes and I was lying in same position how I saw myself from outside.
(Now I think that was a ghost of the physical body.)

May 2, 2013

Realize after sleeping in my body with phantom sensations of hands. Understood what is happening and began to struggle with rage like mad to go outside my body. The feeling that I was crawling on the floor in the dark quagmire and pulls me back, it seemed that crawled a many meters, but I ended up in my room when the vision came.
Next, I went to the window and pane at the top of the window apparently was open, began to climb out through it, climbed half and wanted to jump down, then I wondered whether not this is real world, think I'll break. Thinking, I knew that in real life it can not be that I got out of the window like this, and jumped down.
Was on the ground, I walk around the yard, see the trees, no people, came to the end of the house. Then I take off and fly smoothly at a height of 2-3 floors, along the house, flew on the same line one yard and fly into the next, where landed. All buildings were in the same places as in real world. Looked at my body, arms and legs, pants which are dressed in the real.
Drew attention to the lying stick and for some reason I wished to draw it by willpower, and turned out it flew into my hand. I throw it into the house standing in front of me, at first it fly at random, I see it can not reach, and send will to it so that flew straight and stuck in the wall.
Next moment, from behind, my leg gets an arrow, and pierces through shin. There was no pain, I pulled out the arrow, turned around, see a woman, dressed in red archer clothes, the bow, distance to her ~30 meters. To aggression my answer the same - throw arrow at her and directing it, she tried to dodge, but arrow fly like self-homing, hit it as well as she did, in the legs. She starts to run away. And dip in memory...
Then remember, I was standing with this archer, and there are men with us. They are talking, and I remember she said that I'm Italian and do not understand them, I said, I'm Russian and understand. After I returned back to body.
But I not woke and tried once again to get out, and get out of body through resistance, climb out again for a long way, I appear in the porch, it turned out that I climbed through two walls. I went down the stairs, there I see was very bright, hyper-realistic. Went to the window in the stairwell, open it, and jumped down. Then back into body and wake up.

Spring 2013

Dreamed that I see a beautiful girl on the beach. And in next moment I'm flying out of my body to her, she was an image before, it was a clear sense - separation of the astral body.

Fully lucid here, fly up to her and kiss, feel I kiss an animal, but rather why the otter, even was quiet growl or something, and she begins to disappear, and disappeared into thin air.

Look around, I was on the beach, near the river flows, about 100m wide, fast flowing and dark deep water. Looked away toward of river, see a beautiful sky, clouds tinged with pink, like the dawn, get inspiration from it. Looked at my hands, they are almost like in real life, only lines more clearly expressed. Sat down, touch the sand, feeling soft not quite same as in physical, took a handful, he pours through fingers. Look again at sky and river, and I could not resist so wanted to swim, jumped into it, but it seems I was not ready and caught awakening. The last thing I saw a man floating down the river with a very high speed.

(Here I'll say shortly about my practice of that time. I start to practice exercise of retrospection from "The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception" by Max Heindel in december 2012, and I do it everyday for about two years, to january 2015. This retrospection in my opinion is best practice to start lucid dreaming. In fact it is repentance. The concentration, second exercise, is the mantra, I do it from time to time, as it is written in text of exercises at the end of the book. You can find and read.)

Consciousness comes in some industrial premises, all is dark around me. I am on the stairs, it is iron, and suddenly heard a voice: "Rise Up" and I ran upstairs, ran a few flights of stairs, but do not remember where it rose higher.

Realize that a dream in the traditional Chinese temple. Sing children's choir, children in a beautiful traditional dress, but I do not remember singing, I remember that play music like a rock opera. With pleasure I ran around the temple, jumped on its roof, and ran on it. Me looked at the sky, the sky white light, bright light source, and I with all forces flew to him, but could not fly into it, I was kicked out with a feeling similar to like Neo in The Matrix when he took a pill, a strong vibration and woke.

It was the second attempt to fly into the light, in another dream and day. I realize there during the flight, the light was right, he was a blue-white and waves around the edges, but just awoke while attempting to fly into it.

...Met a small dwarf, he was like a pig from the movie only brown or gray, his nose like a pig. He invited me to his home, I went, it was a small, windowless and entirely without objects inside, the walls are bare, only one door. We talked with him, remember I asked: "You are live here in a small empty room?" he said, "so yes i live"...

Realize myself at dream in the night city. Around me many moving people, one guy looked at me with some sort of surprise. I remembered that I wanted to fly into space, quickly take off, rose to the sky for a few seconds, was in some tight dark space... woke.

Hello everyone! I'm from Russia, and want to share my experience of lucid dreaming on English. It will hard to me, with this special theme, because my English is not good, but I want to try, and Google translator helps me. Sorry for mistakes.

I started practicing from the beginning of 2013, but had some experiences from early childhood. I had blog in the Russian Internet (and still have from 2015, since 2013 is now closed as a personal, but experiences are written in it) and I will translate the best experience out of it, and add new ones.

So I go with first lucid dream from my old journal.

January 2013, I read "Clairvoyance" by C. W. Leadbeater and at night I had a first lucid dream after understanding this phenomenon:

Dreaming that I'm going on the road in two quarters from the house where I live, and find myself on the market which is not in the real world, and in this moment awareness comes to me.

The first time I drew attention to my body in a dream and felt it, my movements slowed down and I pulled hands forward, I swayed. I was approached by a man who traded in the market and he said, "I'll help you". He put me beside his shop. Traded in it green cabbage. With him was a woman, probably his wife. I said to him something like "you are trading cabbage?" and laughed that cabbage traded in a lucid dream, I thought it was funny by inexperienced. What more I do not remember exactly, but it was awake or I lost awareness.