Thread: New & updated for Mark

Here's my advice; If you're going to get into any kind of writing, don't use "U" for "you" or "4" for "for", or anything like that. Capitolizing the word "I" is always nice, too. Also, I'm not sure why it's in a bulleted list format.

dun' really care anymore

Originally posted by GirFox101+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GirFox101)</div>

...do u think i actually turn in my poems that way?[/b]

You turned it in here like that. What difference does it make if you are turning it in to your teachers or turning it in on a forum for people to see?
<!--QuoteBegin-GirFox101
God i'm not an idiot, whats wrong w/u damn people. i posted it 2 get comment feed back not \"gar spell right\" so dun' do the whole i dun' know what i'm doing because my teachers think i'm pretty damn good

And feedback is exactly what I gave you. In it's present form it looks like notes you jotted down in the middle of doing something else when you got an idea for a poem, rather than a polished final draft.

Originally posted by GirFox101
...i was not using correct spelling here because i'm on a damn forum...

It's exceedingly off-putting to read a piece of literature riddled with internet lingo, regardless of weather or not we are viewing it on the internet. It looks very unprofessional and is difficult to read. I pointed out this flaw not to patronize or insult you, but rather to identify problems that could be resolved to improve the poem. You need to learn to take a little criticism.

It's also worth noting that I never called you, nor implied or meant to imply that you were, an idiot.

haha ok, didn't really care 2 read all that. ur opinion & ignorance is worth nothing 2 me
(:
laterz

Originally posted by Mark75

It's exceedingly off-putting to read a piece of literature riddled with internet lingo, regardless of weather or not we are viewing it on the internet. It looks very unprofessional and is difficult to read. I pointed out this flaw not to patronize or insult you, but rather to identify problems that could be resolved to improve the poem. You need to learn to take a little criticism.

It's also worth noting that I never called you, nor implied or meant to imply that you were, an idiot.

u r way 2 uptight about these things. when i have my friends read my pieces, i'm me, & being me is not caring about my spelling or corrections but just letting my heart pour out.
if that doesn't float ur boat. not my problem.
btw the difference of turning it into a teacher & random people is, i'm not doing it for a grade. therefore perfection is unimportant 2 me.

Frozen in a heated glass,
I’m trapped here with my phobias ever last
I’ve given up on my world here,
No longer looking for “peace be still”
Bring me the sorrow to complete my contention,
That numbs our souls into false directions
World destroyed by greed
Your soul will never be seen
As pure and lovely you may be
Dying, dead, and complete we shall cease
The snow falls slower than the fire starts,
However when we burn is when it hurts
Flakes and ice only penetrate the senses,
When the flames and flicks seep over the henches
Did you fall into that distant wonderland?
When you finally grabbed her hand?
Led that person you loved to a safer place,
Only to break your heart when you found it was too late
World destroyed by greed
Your soul will never be seen
As pure and lovely you may be
Dying, dead, and complete we shall cease


Awh, there u go Mark, a poem that i actually worked hard on & thought i spelled right.
Go ahead pick it apart & what not, i won't care for ur advice on this one... because i actually did turn this one in.
Just for u

Originally posted by GirFox101+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GirFox101)</div>

haha ok, didn't really care 2 read all that. ur opinion & ignorance is worth nothing 2 me
(:
laterz[/b]

Precisely what have I been ignorant of? This post is the only ignorant one on this thread. I gave you some advice and you say my opinions are worthless. Thanks for that.

Originally posted by GirFox101+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GirFox101)</div>

u r way 2 uptight about these things. when i have my friends read my pieces, i'm me, & being me is not caring about my spelling or corrections but just letting my heart pour out.
if that doesn't float ur boat. not my problem.
btw the difference of turning it into a teacher & random people is, i'm not doing it for a grade. therefore perfection is unimportant 2 me.[/b]

I never told you to make it perfect. In fact, I never told you to do anything. I merely gave you some advice to help you make it better.
<!--QuoteBegin-GirFox101@
edited because feedback from losers doesn't interest me

This will be the third time you've insulted me in this thread. You seem to be trying to come off like you don't care what I have to say, yet you remove the poem, which sends the completely opposite message. Seems like what you were looking for was not feedback at all, you were just looking for praise.

EDIT

<!--QuoteBegin-GirFox101
Awh, there u go Mark, a poem that i actually worked hard on & thought i spelled right.
Go ahead pick it apart & what not, i won't care for ur advice on this one... because i actually did turn this one in.
Just for u

Not much to pick apart here. Since you seem to like point form so much...

This poem:

- had no poetic rhythm

- didn't have any kind of rhyming structure

- was boring

Not that what I have to say is of any relevance. Maybe you've listened to me if I'd have said "lol tahts so good buddy ololz maek mor kthxby?".

Why such the negative attitude?
If it was not for constructive criticism we would all be famous idiots I guess.

Originally posted by GirFox101
Frozen in a heated glass,
I’m trapped here with my phobias ever last
I’ve given up on my world here,
No longer looking for “peace be still”
Bring me the sorrow to complete my contention,
That numbs our souls into false directions
World destroyed by greed
Your soul will never be seen
As pure and lovely you may be
Dying, dead, and complete we shall cease
The snow falls slower than the fire starts,
However when we burn is when it hurts
Flakes and ice only penetrate the senses,
When the flames and flicks seep over the henches
Did you fall into that distant wonderland?
When you finally grabbed her hand?
Led that person you loved to a safer place,
Only to break your heart when you found it was too late
World destroyed by greed
Your soul will never be seen
As pure and lovely you may be
Dying, dead, and complete we shall cease


Awh, there u go Mark, a poem that i actually worked hard on & thought i spelled right.
Go ahead pick it apart & what not, i won't care for ur advice on this one... because i actually did turn this one in.
Just for u

Hey! I actually like it! You must have put a lot of work into that.
Mark....please try to have a positive attitude in here. Learn to know when some people might just be teasing you, & ignore it.

Originally posted by nesgirl119


Hey! I actually like it! You must have put a lot of work into that.
Mark....please try to have a positive attitude in here. Learn to know when some people might just be teasing you, & ignore it.

Err, back off. Gir wasn't teasing, he was just being arrogant (if you were talking about Mark, then well, he wasn't teasing either. he was giving advice). Mark wasn't the one affroting girfox... he was giving advice and girfox responded unneccessarily hostilely.

Originally posted by nesgirl119


Hey! I actually like it! You must have put a lot of work into that.
Mark....please try to have a positive attitude in here. Learn to know when some people might just be teasing you, & ignore it.

Excuse me, but I don't think I was at all out of line with what I said. It was very evident that she was not just teasing me. She has blatantly insulted me no less than four times, and at no point did I retort with insults of my own. I remained level headed and resisted the urge just to let her have it. I was certainly not the one being negative here.

Please reread my posts and notice that I never once took an offensive tone. I offered sincere advice and am met with unwarranted hostility. If I'd have said something along the lines of "Your poem is complete garbage", then the replies would not have been unreasonable.

NOTE:
She has edited (i.e. removed) a lot of what she had initially written. The quotes found in all of my replies are presented unmodified, albeit being shortened to respond to individual portions of the posts.

Originally posted by Mark75

Excuse me, but I don't think I was at all out of line with what I said. It was very evident that she was not just teasing me. She has blatantly insulted me no less than four times, and at no point did I retort with insults of my own. I remained level headed and resisted the urge just to let her have it. I was certainly not the one being negative here.

Okay!! Okay!! I wasn't trying to start a fight.
It is just that I have known GirFox101 (formally known as Girimsy Leader) for as long as I have been here, & know that she takes things said VERY personally. So if you could maybe try to be friends w/her, & leave out maybe the NI opinions for a little while (I know that she was offended once by religion, so she had Seeker erase her account, & planned on never returning....but she did come back, & I want to make sure her feelings aren't hurt by accident again.).
Again, I am not accusing you of anything, & I know you very well (SSBM player that I'll cream!!)...it maybe might make things better for her if you tried to look at things more positively (for now). And I actually like you as a user as well as GirFox.

Originally posted by nesgirl119+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(nesgirl119)</div>

Okay!! Okay!! I wasn't trying to start a fight.[/b]

I know. I wasn't fighting.

Originally posted by nesgirl119@

It is just that I have known GirFox101 (formally known as Girimsy Leader) for as long as I have been here, & know that she takes things said VERY personally.

I can see that. TOO personally, if you ask me.
<!--QuoteBegin-nesgirl119
So if you could maybe try to be friends w/her...

That won't be happening. At least not until I hear \"Sorry that I overreacted to your well-meaning advice.\", or something of the like.

Originally posted by nesgirl119+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(nesgirl119)</div>

...& leave out maybe the NI opinions for a little while...[/b]

No. I won't leave my opinions out for any length of time. If people left their opinions out, then what would they say when commenting on art? Being as there are no hard and fast rules to determine what is good art and what is bad art. It is highly subjective and based almost exclusively on opinions.
<!--QuoteBegin-nesgirl119
...it maybe might make things better for her if you tried to look at things more positively (for now). And I actually like you as a user as well as GirFox.

Thanks, but again, I was not being negative. Don't confuse criticism with negativity.

Originally posted by Mark75

That won't be happening. At least not until I hear \"Sorry that I overreacted to your well-meaning advice.\", or something of the like.
Thanks, but again, I was not being negative. Don't confuse criticism with negativity.
No. I won't leave my opinions out for any length of time. If people left their opinions out, then what would they say when commenting on art? Being as there are no hard and fast rules to determine what is good art and what is bad art. It is highly subjective and based almost exclusively on opinions.

Okay, I see that you are going to stick to your ideas. That is fine!
I wasn't saying you were being negative....I was saying you could be slightly more positive (not as the opposite of negative, but as the opposite of NI).
Oh, & you kind of remind me of my art teacher...no matter how hard I try, my drawings aren't really that good, so I end up w/Ds in there! Well, and I have to admit, at least you aren't giving her an F!!

Nesgirl...you may need to stop and think if the personal information that you are sharing about your friend is appropriate and whether or not this friend wants this information about them known to others. Now I don't know whether they care or not but after what you stated about them in regards to how they react I should suspect not.

It's not always a good idea to go jumping in the middle of fights and defending someone just because they are your friend with complete and utter disregard for the argument at hand and the circumstances surrounding it.

Also, you may not realize this but you are just a regular user on this forum...and it may not be your place to go around telling people how they should and should not act.

Originally posted by nesgirl119+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(nesgirl119)</div>

Okay, I see that you are going to stick to your ideas. That is fine![/b]

Yep.

Originally posted by nesgirl119+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(nesgirl119)</div>

I wasn't saying you were being negative....I was saying you could be slightly more positive (not as the opposite of negative, but as the opposite of NI).[/b]

Given, but it's hard to remain positive in the face of getting repeatedly slammed with insults.
<!--QuoteBegin-nesgirl119@
Oh, & you kind of remind me of my art teacher...no matter how hard I try, my drawings aren't really that good, so I end up w/Ds in there!

Hey, don't give up. It takes practice, but you'll improve as long as you keep working at it.
<!--QuoteBegin-nesgirl119
Well, and I have to admit, at least you aren't giving her an F!!

I wasn't grading her at all. I didn't identify it as good or bad, I only gave advice for improvement.

Originally posted by Eric Estrada


Err, back off. Gir wasn't teasing, he was just being arrogant (if you were talking about Mark, then well, he wasn't teasing either. he was giving advice). Mark wasn't the one affroting girfox... he was giving advice and girfox responded unneccessarily hostilely.

um i'm a woman... thanx

it was obvious i was just pissed off by Mark & being mean.
it was obvious he was being rude back. if it was a random person who submitted the poem he would have said something good.

& no, ur opinions dun' bother me, i'm just a bitch & wanted 2 slam u.
sorry. *shrug*

- Errors highlighted in red, because I'm a spiteful jerk.
[quote]it was just pissed off by Mark & being mean.
it
WHAT? I don't know you. I've never read any posts of yours (that I can recall) prior to the first one in this thread and you assume that since I criticized your [lack of] writing skills that I must have a personal vendetta against you. That statement was as brilliant as your poem. What you fail to realize is that you are some random person to me.
[quote]& no, ur.
sorry
Oh, you "just wanted to slam me", did you? Next time you need to screech at me, just send me a few PM's, so that I may give them a passing glance, delete them, and shortly forget. Don't drag this whole forum into it.

Don't waste your time, Mark. Most of her posts are of the same quality
and attitude. She started the same bullshit in a Philosophy thread on Randomness.
She's obviously looking for attention and will settle for the negative kind. If I had
to hazard a guess, I'd say she probably gets ignored everywhere else and relies
on starting arguements instead of conversations.

Dear Girfox,
Try and relax. I don't know what kind of crap you're used to dealing with in your
life, but everyone here is very cool and won't give you any problems unless you
start them. If all you want is some attention, why not start a thread about something
you really like to talk about. If you persist in being belligerent you'll deserve
whatever negativity you receive. Peace. RC.

so she had Seeker erase her account, & planned on never returning....[/b]

Apparently she is not good at sticking to her agendas either.

Nesgirl...you may need to stop and think if the personal information that you are sharing about your friend is appropriate and whether or not this friend wants this information about them known to others. Now I don't know whether they care or not but after what you stated about them in regards to how they react I should suspect not.

It's not always a good idea to go jumping in the middle of fights and defending someone just because they are your friend with complete and utter disregard for the argument at hand and the circumstances surrounding it.

Also, you may not realize this but you are just a regular user on this forum...and it may not be your place to go around telling people how they should and should not act.

I see that...but it was in a thread....& if it was, it shouldn't be that personal. I was just trying to explain how we should maybe treat her...
Yeah, I can see why....too many times, I have done that, & have gotten the end of the fist in real time, but I am still a moron, & still continue to do so...

Yeah, I know that I am a regular person on this forum (and it is a good thing too...don't think I can handle more or less than that [as it is, I suck on the SBO at the tech...I might as well just quit while I am behind maybe])...but I don't like it when an admin gets in, & yells at people for fighting in the first place (that can actually cause some banning). So given the chance, I try to stop the fighting on my own or splash might come in.

Hey, don't give up. It takes practice, but you'll improve as long as you keep working at it.
I wasn't grading her at all. I didn't identify it as good or bad, I only gave advice for improvement.
- Errors highlighted in red, because I'm a spiteful jerk.

Oh, you \"just wanted to slam me\", did you? Next time you need to screech at me, just send me a few PM's, so that I may give them a passing glance, delete them, and shortly forget. Don't drag this whole forum into it.

Thanx a bunch...I tried again w/a drawing of a couple of people flying in another dimension, and even made a poem about it....but the grade I get on it might determine whether I post it privately (which splash could display), or whether I don't do anything all together.
And about the 'getting insulted part', just ignore it....if you do that, maybe you could avoid getting 'unwanted attention' from Seeker/Icedawg.

it was obvious i was just pissed off by Mark & being mean.
it was obvious he was being rude back. if it was a random person who submitted the poem he would have said something good.

& no, ur opinions dun' bother me, i'm just a bitch & wanted 2 slam u.
sorry. *shrug*

I see that....getting revenge for a bad grade?
That really isn't the best solution, b/c when I was in 8th grade, I had difficulty controlling my anger, & if I did do something like that, I would often end up either in ISS, or OSS.
You really just want to brush it off, & try a bit harder if you can...don't fight, or it could result in something worse..(I am still your friend..I am just making friendly suggestions).[/quote]

Why, in arguments, people always think of how each side "could have done something." Why don't you just admit one person, girfox, was wrong and responded inappropriately. Sure, Mark's comments weren't sunshines and flowers, but the thing is, he responded appropriately considering what she said (not "nicely" per se, but appropriately because he responded with a level-headed amount of annoyance and anger, rather than girfox's little temper tantrum.)

Originally posted by nesgirl119


It is just that I have known GirFox101 (formally known as Girimsy Leader) for as long as I have been here, & know that she takes things said VERY personally.

I think this is the defining statement of this arguement. I also think that its a shame this art thread has turned into one.

If Nes, being Gir's friend, acknowledges that Gir has an affinity for over-reacting, maybe Gir, being Nes's friend, should actually pay attention to that and realize she should lighten-up.

Gir: First off, nice poem.
Second, I think it is important for an artist to understand, doesn't matter what your skill is, how to seperate constructive criticism from insult. Ignoring someone's constructive criticism, while calling them ignorant for giving it, makes You not only ignorant, but a hypocrite. I'm not insulting you, I'm just saying that is what you're being when you do things like that.

Whether you decide to keep "not caring" about what other people say is up to you, but as an artist, you'll never grow without being able to recognize good advice when you hear it, without completely losing your mind.

Hope this helps. Keep writing that poetry.