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    1. 03-16-2008 12:50 AM #1
      Man of Steel
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      Deep Within - MoS's submission to the DV Story Challenge

      I finally got it done, posted it on my writing website. This is not the end of the story, by any means, but it is the first 'chapter', if you will. Let me know what you think! It came to a bit over five pages in Open Office.

      Deep Within: A Werewolf Story

      The title is based on a song by Within Temptation.
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    2. 03-27-2008 02:48 AM #2
      Abra
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      Your story is enthralling, and had me on the edge of my seat. Nice, vivid descriptions, and also great little touches (referring to the wolf as "it" instead of "he" after the transformation). Nice end to the chapter, too. =D
      Abraxas

      Quote Originally Posted by OldSparta
      I murdered someone, there was bloody everywhere. On the walls, on my hands. The air smelled metallic, like iron. My mouth... tasted metallic, like iron. The floor was metallic, probably iron
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    3. 03-30-2008 02:20 AM #3
      seeker28
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      Now I regret not reading your writings sooner! I loved the crisp, realistic descriptions; your attention to detail. There were a few minor editing errors, but I know how hard it is to catch all of those yourself.

      I liked the end of the story the most -- once he started to change into a werewolf. The descriptions and wording became more energetic, immediate -- which was perfect for the action of the story.

      I'm very impressed, MoS.
      LD tasks of the month completed: 16
      Read some of my writing:
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    4. 03-30-2008 05:05 AM #4
      Man of Steel
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      Quote Originally Posted by Abra View Post
      Your story is enthralling, and had me on the edge of my seat. Nice, vivid descriptions, and also great little touches (referring to the wolf as "it" instead of "he" after the transformation). Nice end to the chapter, too. =D
      Thank you! I was kinda torn about whether to use "it" or "he", but "it" just felt right, and Amethyst agreed. I tried to use other descriptors, too, to keep "it" from becoming too repetitive.

      Quote Originally Posted by seeker28 View Post
      Now I regret not reading your writings sooner! I loved the crisp, realistic descriptions; your attention to detail. There were a few minor editing errors, but I know how hard it is to catch all of those yourself.

      I liked the end of the story the most -- once he started to change into a werewolf. The descriptions and wording became more energetic, immediate -- which was perfect for the action of the story.

      I'm very impressed, MoS.
      Wow, Seeker, thanks so much! That means a lot to me. I did catch a few editing errors when I posted it to Writing.Com, and fixed them there, but I still haven't fixed them on my site. Sorry about that. I'm usually quite meticulous about editing.

      Here it is on Writing.Com, it's also easier to read there: http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1404517
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    5. 03-30-2008 05:40 AM #5
      AmazeO XD
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      Raw shit MoS. I really enjoyed it.
      You do this every fucking time.
      No sweat.
      No tears.
      No guilt.
      You do this every fucking time.

      http://www.myspace.com/theheroicopening
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    6. 04-01-2008 10:35 PM #6
      seeker28
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      Thanks for the link to your writing.com place. I'll be checking it out soon!
      LD tasks of the month completed: 16
      Read some of my writing:
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