Thread: Tell me about a girl's/woman's instinct to buy things.

Ask a guy to buy me something? That would be rude. :/

I'm not a gold-digger so I don't know.

I suppose if men stopped spoiling women and letting them shop like no one's business it wouldn't even be a topic.

Alas.

Guys: Smack down that bitch.

Is this a serious topic? Yeesh...

Anyhoo.. I dunno, man, but I think that if you think men need to buy women all this crap, then you've gotten the wrong impression from very dated movies or shows or something.

I don't have any female friends who make their boyfriends buy them purses or whatever. These days women earn money, too, you know, so there's no reason for the man to buy anything unless he wants to.

As for the spoiled brats who do act this way, you just gotta recognize them for who they are early enough to steer clear.

Edit: Ha. I just remembered.. I have a male friend here in Korea who went on a date with a really beautiful woman (a flight attendant, which for some reason is like every woman's dream job in this country), and on the first date she expected him to buy her all this shit... So he got rid of her pretty much immediately. That's what you gotta do.

I've known a lot of men to be impulse shoppers as well.

The only time I'm uber-impulsive about shopping is when it comes to thrift store items; mostly due to the idea that someone else could buy them when I leave and I'll never see the item again.

But as for asking someone else to buy me those things, I'm with Abra on this one; that would be rude.

The only thing I can think of is that women in general tend to be very nurturing, and buying things for her significant other would not only make him feel good, but make her feel good as well. If it puts her behind in money temporarily, it would seem like a small price to pay for a smile.

But any woman who requires that her male friends buy her things to keep her happy...well, that's just not a very good and/or strong woman in my opinion. And like Mes said: best just to avoid those types of women.

well whether you wanted a serious answer or not, I'll give you a serious answer.

I hate shopping. I ask for clothes for christmas and birthdays so I can least have something to wear and other than that I usually only want something once in a while if I have a real reason to buy it. Such as, I need to buy a guitar if I want to learn to play one. Not something like, I need to buy those shoes so it can match my earrings sort of thing.

Because if you get attached to your material items, then those things you own... soon they start owning you. Yes, yes, I know I'm using Chuck Phalunik's words. However, they are very true, I've always kind of turned away from getting attached to "stuff". My ipod and guitar are my guilty pleasures, but that just comes from an obsessive love of music. That's ok, right?

I guess I'm typical. I love shopping and I buy a lot of cloths. I own a lot of cloths, shoes, and all other type of accessories. I never look for anyone to actually buy me anything because I can pretty much buy my own things. However I will not argue with a gentlemen wanting to splurge on me.

But it's a two way street. I love shopping also for the man that's in my life. I could find a nice shirt, pants or shoes that I think would look very nice on him and then I'll buy it. Same for me, if he see's something that may be sexy on me then I don't mind wearing it, if it pleases him.

Kudos to me! First dude to post in this thread!

Yeah i dont shop for chicks man, i can barely afford to buy myself stuff

ha-ha I'm like such a girl when it comes to shopping I guess.. I'm not as bad as I used to be. I would go spend like £200 on a watch, £100 on some jeans and another £100 on trainers or something. I put it down to being young, no responsibilities and a well paid job.

Nowadays I don't spend anything I don't have to. I will buy clothes rarely and hardly spend money on even going out and drinking, I put this down to old age lol. But I have to say I've never been with a girl who has expected me to be the one to pay for everything... My current girlfriend pays for things equally, well, sometimes more so when she doesn't tell me she is buying things for me (like a holiday to Prague).

I think the stereotype is for us to think woman want looking after and being provided for, but in reality I think they're more than happy to make it on their own and provide for themselves...

Why is this just a slightly changed copypasta of the "Tell me about a boy's/man's instinct to fight"?

Originally Posted by Adam

I think the stereotype is for us to think woman want looking after and being provided for, but in reality I think they're more than happy to make it on their own and provide for themselves...

Special gifts are nice, from both parties, and so is security from a person that you are very close to and have a great relationship with. These are special circumstances.

But what you just said, that hits the nail on the head. Or at least smashes me in the face with a hammer.

Originally Posted by Daniel Danciu

I live, and I hear about guys with girlfriends/wives that have to buy them things really often.

Boys can overspend or ask for someone to buy them things beyond their budget too, but it seems that it happens overwhelmingly more on the girls' side.

So I guess this is a question for the girls, since they can better relate: What goes through a woman's mind when she wants to buy something, like a purse? Why does she feel that the conflict must be resolved by ripping away at their man's wallet and dignity?

I'm all about men and women being equal, but as a guy I can safely say that I've never thought to myself, oh, these shoes are $100+, I should buy them without considering my budget!

And as you grow older, do you nag and insist we buy you things less or more, and why?

Soooo, please enlighten me! Thanks!

Ok....I'm going to get a little nerdy and hopefully enlighten you

You wanted to know about the "instinct" of why women seem to shop a lot..... I'm no expert on this but I do remember a lecture for an Anthropology class in college. The professor was going through the early communities of the early human and the roles of the men and the women. I think we all know that the men would go out and work for the food by hunting, while the women would go out together and forage the land for berries/fruit/nuts etc.... The bigger bargain of "produce" a women found and the biggest game the man came back with, would raise thier status in the community....

My professor therefore explained that it is literally wired in a man's brain to go out and "hunt" to provide for the family and for a women to go out and find the best "bargain" foraging the land.

Obviously every women is not like this, nor every man. I do like a good shopping trip but I am by know means obsessed.

Well it made sense to me What do you think ?

Originally Posted by dreamingofdreaming

Ok....I'm going to get a little nerdy and hopefully enlighten you

You wanted to know about the "instinct" of why women seem to shop a lot..... I'm no expert on this but I do remember a lecture for an Anthropology class in college. The professor was going through the early communities of the early human and the roles of the men and the women. I think we all know that the men would go out and work for the food by hunting, while the women would go out together and forage the land for berries/fruit/nuts etc.... The bigger bargain of "produce" a women found and the biggest game the man came back with, would raise thier status in the community....

My professor therefore explained that it is literally wired in a man's brain to go out and "hunt" to provide for the family and for a women to go out and find the best "bargain" foraging the land.

Obviously every women is not like this, nor every man. I do like a good shopping trip but I am by know means obsessed.

Well it made sense to me What do you think ?

I don't like the 'it is literally wired into a man's brain...' - Dare I say it this little thing call evolution happened. And we're so different now and I think it's more societies pressure put on women to always look their best. They're growing up with dolls, being told to look pretty, and making an effort. Which inherently leads to wanting new things when getting older etc. By the pressure put on women it's not surprise they're wanting new things, to stand out and look their best. I don't know, I'm not a girl, but I have a lot of sisters and see the way they grow up kind of makes sense..?

FYI I'm not like that at ALL. I save my money and wait for something I want. As for shoes, I get mine on sale. NEVER over a hundred bucks. That stereotype is so not me.

Girls buy a lot of batteries.

Originally Posted by Jeff777

Girls buy a lot of batteries.

Huh? Where'd you hear that?

Why else would there be batteries and chocolates at the check-out isle? Hurhur.

My parents CONSTANTLY fought (and still do) over money. Mom would go out and get my brother and I school clothes and dad would verbally lay into her about how much she spent... even though BOTH of them worked. The real kicker though, is that dad would go out and splurge on a new car or TV without consulting mom and saw nothing wrong with that.
They warped my view of money forever.
When I was about to turn 16, I wanted a car like almost every other kid. But after hearing them have an extra intense argument about money when I was supposed to be asleep, I told them a few days later that I didn't really want a car.

When I grew up and got married the first time, what I usually asked them for at Christmas and for birthdays etc was a carton of smokes and several packs of writing paper.

I learned, from them, to NEVER share a bank account with your spouse.

When I met the man I'm now married to, **I** insisted on signing a prenumptual because I have always handled money irresponsibly and I was afraid I'd be hardened by time and turn into my parents.

I hate shopping (mostly because I hate crowds though). When I go into a store, I get what I need/want and leave. I don't "window shop" because it only makes me want things I can't afford.

I absolutely CANNOT insert myself in my hubby's finances. He works, it's his to spend however he wants and it's none of my business. I have NEVER insisted on ANYONE to buy me ANYTHING. I try to be grateful with what is freely given for my support and the support of my kids.

Because I've always been financially dependent on others and have never had any true money of my own, I've learned to give gifts from the heart. I'll write poetry or songs or draw a picture for the people who touch my life. But over the years, I've discovered that a lot of people are uncomfortable with such gifts. I pour my heart and soul into my gift and that degree of honesty and openness tends to make some people back away.
But other people deeply cherish the gift. I've always been interested in those extreme reactions (I've never found anyone who was moved either way in a more neutral sort of way). And it's made me more hesitant.

If I'm depressed though, like now, I want nothing more than to magically manifest a great deal of cash that I could go hog wild with. Repercussionlessly (SP!!!) spending money on trivial items temporarily makes me happier. Perhaps it's perceived "security" or something akin to "comfort food".

On the other hand, my hubby is an epic shopper. I also think he's obsessive.
He can spend hours grocery shopping. And when I was "thin" he LOVED to shop for clothes for me and he has extraordinary great taste. To some extent, he likes having a "trophy wife". When people pass my 64 year old man with his 34 year old "hotty" (NOT) on his arm, it puts him in a great mood and puts more bounce in his step

But he's insecure about his success. He came from extremely modest means and paid his way through several degrees (including an MD and PhD). His ex-wife used to control his earnings, and an ex-girlfriend, financial adviser AND business partner (who worked in another town but whose wife was hubby's Manager) Swindled him out of a horribly lot of money.
I think, deep down, he's afraid of having nothing. And I say that because of his obsessive tendencies.

He collects art glass. His favorite is called Amberina and Plated Amberina which was made best in the 1800's. Plated Amberina can cost on eBay and live auctions upwards of $15,000 for a Pitcher. He also collects older Fenton pieces, Cranberry Glass, Burmese, Crown Milano and other Mt. Washington pieces, Lotton and Satava and pretty much anything else that catches his fancy. He probably has THOUSANDS of pieces and hundreds of thousands of dollars invested in them over the course of his life time.

But the kicker is: Most of his aquisitions over the last few years remain unpacked and undisplayed.
And several years ago he had a shelf in a cabinet collapse and ruin some last-of-their-kind pieces. He has yet to clean out the cabinet. He said it's like removing the bodies of your dead children from a horrible car accident. He can't bear to look at it or think of it.

He's a horder. I called him out on it one time and he said: "I know where it is if I need it."

At the same time, there are 4 cars parked in our driveway that are never driven, a bread truck and another 2 cars in the field, 3 motorcycles in the garage of another house as well as 2 dirtbikes, another COMPLETELY run down car, 3 ATV's, 1 RV and a recently purchased Deisle run Motor Coach in a rented garage, and his fathers old car in the barn at the Farm.
Yet, if ANYTHING breaks down or needs repaired or have maintanence done, he does it himself.....

And yet he still grumbles when I have to get $100. from him each month to buy my meds I married my "father" after all...