Thread: PLEASE READ, issues with relaxing

OK, so, I have had 1 DILD and 1 WILD since becoming a DV member (roughly 2 weeks ago). The DILD was by far the longest. I made 2 things appear from nothing and did a few other interesting things then the lucidity wore off, I had a false awakening but couldnt jump back into the dream.

The WILD on the other hand, only lasted seconds. I did the FILD (finger tapping technique). I was lying in bed and started tapping and the next thing I knew I could hear a faint radio playing music in the background. Not having a radio in my room I immediately knew I was dreaming. Except this time, I got too excited and immediately woke up.

Here's the problem. Since those 2 LDs, I have been trying to do a WILD every night because I naturally wake up in the middle of the night, every night, like clockwork. I think I am sike-ing myself out too much because I've been havinh trouble relaxing. I will get comfy and start to feel the wave of energy take over (start of SP) and then I will get a terrible itch that I HAVE to scratch. Or, I will HAVE to swallow. And even when Im not itching or swallowing, Im thinking about not itching and not swallowing so much that it prevents me from fully relaxing. How should I go about combating this problem? I dont mean to sound cocky but I truly believe if I can move past this issue, I would be a natural at LDing. I have amazing recall (I can remember atleast 3 dreams EVERY night), I recognize my dream signs, and ever since becoming a member my confidence is through the roof. Relaxation is the only thing holding me back and it is super frustrating.

Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated

Anything that you normally do while you're trying to fall sleep you can still do during your WILD attempt. You can swallow, roll over, whatever. Where did you read that you can't swallow? This phony issue pops up all the time and I'm curious where it's coming from.

If you are getting to the stage where you feel a wave of energy, or other hypnagogia, you are plenty relaxed. It is time to transition to the dream. Do you notice any flashes of dream imagery? Daydreams or weird little scenarios that start to pull at your attention? You can expand upon these. If you don't notice anything, just imagine a recent memory that comes to mind easily. Try to engage with the memory. Make it feel real so it will become your new reality.

Worry less about what your body is doing. It doesn't matter. You should be entirely in your mind. What is happening with your thoughts?

And to respond to dms,

I didn't read anywhere that I wasn't really suppose to itch or swallow, just that the less I did, the better. Just that not moving is an important part of relaxing. So I have made my mind focus on each itch more than I should to where even if I don't have an itch, I'm thinking too hard about not having one. You see what I mean?

Butler,

Whenever I feel this wave of energy, I do see flashes of dream imagery, but only flashes. I see something, and then I try to think about what I just saw and it stops. It's like daydreaming, yes. I'll be thinking about the WILD, then for a split second, it's like my mind forgets what's going on, then my mind will come back and ill remember I am WILDing. But like I said, it's very brief, like maybe a second or two. This is when I should try to enter the dream? Do I try to remember what I just saw and expand upon it? It's weird though, because the imagery is not present the entire time. It comes in short spurts like mentioned above. Right when I feel the wave of energy or see the imagery, I focus on it, then it goes away. It's like it only happens when I am NOT thinking about it and as soon as my attention goes toward it, it goes away

I have the same problem with the images disappearing as soon as I pay any attention to them, I may be able to engage them for a second or two but once I realize what I'm doing I get excited and wake myself up. Any advice on how to stay focused and relaxed when engaging these images would be super helpful

What I do is focus on my breathing. Oh man that ITCH.. I hate it lol but I just ignore it the best I can and focus on my breathing and before I know it I'm in a dream.. Oh also I do this 3rd eye focus thing where I just focus on the middle of my forehead and for some reason it's like a hyperdrive button into a dream. From what I read the technique is to put your index finger in the middle of your forehead and pull away about 3 inches and then close your eyes but keep them centered as if you were still looking at your finger. Your eyes will naturally jump kind of like rem but keep them focused. I don't know why this helps but it really does. Good luck.

Oh wow, I think I see what you are saying! So, after you close your eyes and keep looking at where your finger should be, your eyes kind of keep twitching to stay in place? Is that what you mean? Because when I do it, after I close my eyes I can feel them moving when Im trying to stay focused on that same spot

Exactly! Don't try to hard, be gentle and keep them in that spot. Let me know if it works for you, I practiced this for a couple days until it was easy to keep them in that position.

For me , it's all about visualization while progressively relaxing your muscles. I go to sleep almost every night knowing I will lucid dream. It all just part of my regular sleep routine now.

That sounds wonderful. I really want to get to where I can Lucid Dream every night. Ill try the finger thing tonight and report back tomorrow.

How's your breathing?

My breathing? What do you mean exactly? Like how do I breath?

I have read that you should only focus on breathing during meditation and not so much when practicing OBEs. In the book I'm reading now, the author says that you should do a full body scan then focus on your heart beat until you feel it pulsate through your entire body and just let your breathing happen as it naturally does. This technique works great for me I suggest anyone give it a try.