update - i had another DEILD last night, and it was insane, it lasted around a minute but it was definitely worth it, if it wasn't for all the noise i would've had another one right after. well this is what i did:
i half woke up realizing i'm dreaming but never really noticing my physical body at all. all sorts of thoughts were swimming through my mind, but i tried to focus on only one thing, which was a door i was trying to imagine, and when i kinda saw a door in my mind's eye i imagined my hand on it, rubbing it with my palm until i felt the texture of the painted wood. i continued feeling the door until i was sure i'm stable within the dream, and i left it up to my subconscious to come up with whatever was on the other side, and MAN was i surprised. it was just a pitch black hallway, and when i took a few steps passed the door, i plunged down moving parallel to the stairs that appeared (although i never touched the stairs, i just sort of flew down right above it). i was terrified at first, until i told myself it's only a dream, but it was very realistic (not only was i scared of the realism, but the dream had a really ominous feel to it.) anyway i had fun flying around the house once i imagined it lit, and i flew around a little outside above the forest.

so what i discovered from this is, the best thing for me is to visualize and use tactile sensation at the same time to boost my chances of becoming lucid. btw, i'm sure it's been said before, but i just wanted to give an example of how i did it, so it can help others out, now that they have a better idea of what to do. i'm sure this works with feeling a wall, or anything, but once you're in the dream you can open the door and see what's on the other side