Once you are really out of body and not only dreaming it of... you know. I would like to highlight one point- it could be the specific state of mind that could make false feeling of not dreaming, and being really out of body. I try to thing on this possibility every time I travel. It is worse to be in lie than not knowing something(and to know that you are not knowing).
When I was 20 I was training relaxation and concentration for about 9 years... It took me more than 4 years to find the way to induce OBE when I found up accidentally the possibility to separate from body during one of my training time.
I know it is hard to let lose the feeling... I know it, I lived through such things. But it is vain effort to stay in the same circle of thought. It is also very tiring. From time to time my consciousness may get shrouded by memories... sometimes for a few days. It is the curse of very good visual memory... and imagination. Just think about her, would she like for you to suffer? Surely not. Maybe she will wait there for you(time is irrelevant there). You could die 100 years from now, and for her it could be just moment.
You may try meditate... to let lose everything. The will, the want, the body... pure thoughtless consciousness state is really state of timeless peace.
It is really simple thing, but it needs to be trained daily. I copy my training routine quite often:
I made my exercises out of schultz autogenic training with some shortcuts and modifications. It needs some time to learn them, but not so long.
a) Relaxation of striated muscles- I concentrate on weight of my hand, I feel it and I make that feeling as strong as possible, and again stronger. I let that feeling of weight progress through whole body. When all my body feels heavy, I concentrate on deepening of that feeling... This relax skeletal striated muscles.
b) Relaxation of smooth muscles- Concentration on warmth in my hand. It feels like I have my hand in warm water, and water is warmer and warmer... liquid fire in my hand. Very pleasant and very hot. I let that liquid fire flow up my hand to other hand, and when my hands are warm, I let that warmth flow to my feet... At last I let spiral that warmth from my hands and legs into solar plexus. Now, I don't do it because of third chakra, but because warmth leads to relaxation of smooth muscle tissue of digestive tract.
For OBE:
When I reach state of body where it is very heavy, so heavy that I have feeling I can't move and very warm, I start to concentrate on rolling movement of hand. Movement without moving physical muscles. I send impulses to muscles(to roll hand from side to side), but at the same time I let hand relaxed, lying still. After some time I will start to feel second body hand(as if second, astral hand, and with that the feel of astral body permeating physical body start to be felt.)slowly rolling in physical body, and I try to make small rolling movements to be bigger. After a while I move the whole second body out of physical.
Sometimes I feel second body even during autogenic relaxation, then separation is simpler and faster.
For start it is the best to learn to be in the state of unattached observer. Observe your surrounding, walk... but don't think(thoughts are destabilizing OBE), your feelings should be balanced, mild(emotional stress is destabilizing OBE) Just look around yourself... observe, feel, and let everything go through yourself and away. Be above things you are observing. Attachment is destabilizing OBE and may also lead to unpleasant experiences with some entities you may meet.
For WILD:
With autogenic relaxation I can reach quite quickly sleep paralysis state after years of training. If I want a WILD I look for imagination. I don't need to go as far in relaxation as for OBE. It is enough to relax and concentrate enough to melt disturbances in body and mind. You don't need to leave thinking processes.
1. flash pictures- you can use them to make your dream world... Concentrate on that flashes. If they are real enough there is probability they will take you into them. You will dream in that picture.
2. imagined pictures- harder than flash imagination pictures, you prepare your picture for longer time. You make finer touches to your picture and at some point it is good enough for starting dream inside of them(picture will pull your mind inside).
3. Imagination of tunnel. That one I use most often. My tunnel starts as ring, inside ring, inside ring... I let ring grow... then second one inside first, then third... and I let them grow. It creates illusion of flight in tunnel. At some point your mind will feel the flight. And your tunnel will be more refined as time goes, till you fly at the end of it and into larger country.
It is possible to change LD into OBE. Difficult but possible. I had only a few of such experiences, but some people had more of them than myself. While in LD you must call for memory of mental state you experience during OBE. If you are concentrated enough, if you are able to let your imagination behind, then you may discard it... metaphorically
The fastest way to be close to your soulmate is LD. That is because you can use imagination to picture her. To picture yourself beside herself. There are arguments about shared dreaming... and I'm trying it too (without much success ) But it can help you to adjust faster, if you know you can meet her when you need it(wild-> imagined pictures method, maybe even flash pictures if you could see her for short time when you are thinking of her)
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