Sperm from hell

[Dthoughts]

Okay well whoosh, where to begin.. @shadowofind, short you say eh??? Well it turns out i really enjoy writing big walls of text haha. I hope it is not too heavy. I tried to make it so that it is both educating and entertaining to the reader. Let me quickly inform you about a substance i came into contact with and have been obsessing about long before i decided to try it out for myself. DMT is a simple alkaloid chemical closely related to Serotonin. It is an endogenous drug which means it is found naturally in the human body. It is active in very small amounts and when smoked produces intense hallucinations which last for generally 5-15 minutes. Some researches are trying to find out if DMT plays a role in people who are scizophrenic or are in psychosis. There is a lot of myth revolving around the substance, which is understandable considering some people swear by it and claim to meet all sorts of entities, deities, fairies and even god while using the drug. I can speak from my own experience that actually using the substance feels to me as if i am eating a very healthy fruit. It takes a lot of courage for me to use it but when i do decide to use it i am always glad i did and feel rejunevated after facing an intense 10 minute trip. I do not recommend everyone to go out and try it because it CAN be difficult. It is however certainly not poisenous and nobody has ever died from taking DMT. -- Kk, all that done. Unto the silly part. I smoked some DMT and was immediately greeted by a motherly entity which i believe i have been in contact with before. The sensation is as if being hugged and taken for a ride. The visuals range from traveling through plasma-like structures and actual human beings. In this particulair experience for instance someone i kind of fell in love was shown sitting next to me and warmth came off of her body. It is hard to explain, it is lovely though. I swear everyone will love to have an experience such as this. The womanly presence speaks in a telepathic way to me and gives me reassurance and advice on how i should feel and behave. I don't remember what we talked about that much but emotionally it affected me so i could feel extremely positive so i could afterwards speak with people from a loving place i feel inside my heart. At some point though the entity said it had to go. And i could see her presence as blurry colorful lines fading away into the darkness. The visuals stopped and i was getting ready to go to sleep now. I had my window open and here's the weird part. I saw a black entity rush and felt a chilling presence of negativity coming at me from the open window as soon as i turned off the light. Here comes what i think the most significant part which is most important to understand; What i saw when i looked at my body was some of my internal organs, a bit as if i'm seeing in X-ray. I could see an image of my heart which was actually how i envision an Astral heart if i know one. A pulsating object made of plasma with a hole in it. It had a hole in it because I could see this black entity forcefully digging an entrance in it as if it is a sperm cell entering an Embryo. (i see the inherent symbolism here. the entity actually looked a lot like a sperm cell. (Carl Jung would have a field day with this but i reject symbolism here, i believe form in this hallucination is reality) In my confused state of mind i thought this was all part of the loving motherly experience. When i started seeing thick black lines before my eyelids I knew something was up. I felt not myself anymore. All i could think was CONSUME CONSUME. and i assessed this demon must have taken advantage to my vulnerable state and made an entrance into my body as a parasite. As soon as i realized i stopped feeling openness, and the entity had nothing more to consume. When i assessed the demon's presence i gained memories of where i came from. The place i saw was strikingly familiair with pyramid carvings of the Underworld made by ancient Egyptians. No astral inferno but loads of darkness and like a shit load of other demons. Kay so.. I communed with this demon that i shall let him find shelter in my heart on the condition that it behaves. If it does not operate out of love i will throw him back into the abyss. I said this because it seemed like it was actually fleeing from this Abyss. The feeling i got was that these other demons are more powerful than him and he is too weak to survive there. Yet he is quite a beautiful creature to me. I was not repulsed by it. What makes it so convincing is that i have a clear image of how he looks like and remember exactly how it feels to be him as a sentient being. Greed, fear, mostly greed. It sucks oxygen and likes to breathe greedily. I can sort of change my breathing pattern in which i start sucking up air forcefully. This reminds me a bit of how the demon feels. In the Abyss I think perhaps what these things need to breathe is human misery or something. I told it i will meet it in a lucid dream tonight because i want to know more about it. Where it came from etc. From there i promised i will teach him how to ascend into heavenly realms so it doesn't have to be stuck in the abyss. After about 30 more minutes or so the DMT completely left my system and i was feeling more or less baseline. I stopped talking to demons, they weren't there anymore but i was still feeling a little edgy. I started thinking about my usual things I think about. Now, here it get's a little bit difficult. I am not a violent person, but for the last months before this happened i have felt more and more agressive. When i felt hurt by people for instance i almost involuntarily imagined killing them. Just envisioned myself with a knife in my hand and stabbing them. The sort of thing you could try out in dreams but never in real life. I think these images settled down but they must have still been archived in my memory somewhere. And here's why that is important to understand how i'm thinking; Just after the demon encounter i just started thinking about a friend i have in Amsterdam. Someone i would never hurt deliberately but who sometimes crosses/frustrates me mildly. Never to the point where i'm actually angry though. Here's the weird part. I felt like i had little control over it. It really felt like the demon used these archives of anger and violence to play with my imagination. When i thought about her i instantly got really mad and my imagination started going wild with murder scenes and fucked up stuff like that which i would NEVER imagine doing to her.. Now, i suck at lucid dreaming. But i remember having promised the demon i would meet him there. I stayed awake all night and in the afternoon I went to a friends house to feed cats. I fell asleep there and mind you i feel a little lovy dubby feelings for her, else i woulden't be feeding her damn cats every weekend (nah, jk i really love hanging out with those cats). I remember a dream that is unlike any other i have ever had. I was completely not in control there. Upon analysis in this dream i was actually two persons at once. I was seeing it from a third person perspective. I saw a bench with a guy and a girl. A magician was doing tricks and becoming increasingly agressive. I was the guy on the bench and was being talked to by the magician. But when the magician talked i actually felt like i was doing the talking. So my sense of I got a little blurry here. It made a lot more sense when i woke up from it. Even though i was the other guy. When i talked as the magician i spouted a million ton of vulgarity. What i remember is that the magician said; "You are supposed to talk to me but here you are messing around with your girlfriend." Then he talked and talked increasingly faster while threatening the girl and completely drained out all my energy until (me/the guy on the bench) had enough and told him to shut the hell up. (something that is 100% in line with my own personality. I would endure vulgarity until i can't take it and have had enough) These last 3 paragraphs is what i really wanted to share with you. The other stuff is just hastily written and not so important here, i just deemed a proper introduction was necessary. I want to know more about these dreamds it is just unfortunate i have had not much more than 20 minutes of lucid dreaming since then. Any comments is appreciated but know this, my mind is set. So if you choose to debate you better come with some solid arguments here. Ofcourse sharing personal stories is even more welcome. I would love to hear similar accounts i know of very little of those.

[EbbTide000]

Gr eat post Dthoughts Okay well whoosh, where to begin.. @shadowofind, short you say eh??? Well it turns out i really enjoy writing big walls of text haha. (...) Let me quickly inform you about a substance i came into contact with and have been obsessing about long before i decided to try it out for myself. *** DMT *** is a simple alkaloid chemical closely related to Serotonin. It is an endogenous drug which means it is found naturally in the human body. It is active in very small amounts and when smoked produces intense hallucinations which last for generally 5-15 minutes. Some researches are trying to find out if DMT plays a role in people who are scizophrenic or are in psychosis. There is a lot of myth revolving around the substance, which is understandable considering some people swear by it and claim to meet all sorts of entities, deities, fairies and even god while using the drug. (...) ...nobody has ever died from taking DMT. -- Kk, all that done. Unto the silly part. I smoked some DMT (....) Kay so.. I communed with this demon that i shall let him find shelter in my heart on the condition that it behaves. If it does not operate out of love i will throw him back into the abyss. I said this because it seemed like it was actually fleeing from this Abyss. The feeling i got was that these other demons are more powerful than him and he is too weak to survive there. Yet he is quite a beautiful creature to me. I was not repulsed by it. What makes it so convincing is that i have a clear image of how he looks like and remember exactly how it feels to be him as a sentient being. Greed, fear, mostly greed. It sucks oxygen and likes to breathe greedily. I can sort of change my breathing pattern in which i start sucking up air forcefully. This reminds me a bit of how the demon feels. In the Abyss I think perhaps what these things need to breathe is human misery or something. I told it i will meet it in a lucid dream tonight because i want to know more about it. Where it came from etc. From there i promised i will teach him how to ascend into heavenly realms so it doesn't have to be stuck in the abyss. After about 30 more minutes or so the DMT completely left my system and i was feeling more or less baseline. I stopped talking to demons, they weren't there anymore but i was still feeling a little edgy. I started thinking about my usual things I think about. Now, here it get's a little bit difficult. I am not a violent person, but for the last months before this happened i have felt more and more agressive. When i felt hurt by people for instance i almost involuntarily imagined killing them. Just envisioned myself with a knife in my hand and stabbing them. The sort of thing you could try out in dreams but never in real life. I think these images settled down but they must have still been archived in my memory somewhere. And here's why that is important to understand how i'm thinking; Just after the demon encounter i just started thinking about a friend i have in Amsterdam. Someone i would never hurt deliberately but who sometimes crosses/frustrates me mildly. Never to the point where i'm actually angry though. Here's the weird part. I felt like i had little control over it. It really felt like the demon used these archives of anger and violence to play with my imagination. When i thought about her i instantly got really mad and my imagination started going wild with murder scenes and fucked up stuff like that which i would NEVER imagine doing to her.. Now, i suck at lucid dreaming. But i remember having promised the demon i would meet him there. I stayed awake all night and in the afternoon I went to a friends house to feed cats. I fell asleep there and mind you i feel a little lovy dubby feelings for her, else i woulden't be feeding her damn cats every weekend (nah, jk i really love hanging out with those cats). I remember a dream that is unlike any other i have ever had. I was completely not in control there. Upon analysis in this dream i was actually two persons at once. I was seeing it from a third person perspective. I saw a bench with a guy and a girl. A magician was doing tricks and becoming increasingly agressive. I was the guy on the bench and was being talked to by the magician. But when the magician talked i actually felt like i was doing the talking. So my sense of I got a little blurry here. It made a lot more sense when i woke up from it. Even though i was the other guy. When i talked as the magician i spouted a million ton of vulgarity. What i remember is that the magician said; "You are supposed to talk to me but here you are messing around with your girlfriend." Then he talked and talked increasingly faster while threatening the girl and completely drained out all my energy until (me/the guy on the bench) had enough and told him to shut the hell up. (something that is 100% in line with my own personality. I would endure vulgarity until i can't take it and have had enough) These last 3 paragraphs is what i really wanted to share with you. The other stuff is just hastily written and not important, i just deemed a proper introduction was neccesary. There you have it lol. I have smoked some more dmt later but not so much. On one or two occassions i could still feel the entities presence. It is like i need DMT to actually see it. But considering the above paragraph a lucid dream will suffice, it is just unfortunate i have had not much more than 20 minutes of lucid dreaming since then. Any comments is appreciated but know this, my mind is set. So if you choose to debate you better come with some solid arguments here. Ofcourse sharing personal stories is even more welcome. I would like for everyone who experience these things to know that they are not insane. These things happen all the damn time. I think you guys will love this amazing thread of mine: *** http://www.dreamviews.com/lounge/148...-sentient.html ***(3 replies/111 views now) Heres the 4th post: *** Here we have for the first time 100% evidence that DMT is a neurotransmitter*of the*mammalian brain. This is*Earth Shattering*in its implications. (44:05)continuing ... The whole way the brain works is neurotransmitters sending messages across the brain and facilitating how consciousness works. Here we have a neurotransmitter that is the most powerful hallucinogen drug known to man. This DMT is the final key in the jigsaw puzzle on how conscious actually functions. (44:26). *** Your's is the second post Dthoughts. This break through was only 4 month old whrn the interview was given. Youtube was loaded on 28-Oct-2013.

[cuindreamland1]

i can understand what you are saying and im not sure but i think you made a mistake by letting the "demon" inside you. whether it is real or not, or a hallucination, it seems that your personality may be changing i.e. becoming more aggressive, violent and thinking of things you wouldnt have before the dmt experience. It is either changing your personality because you BELIEVE something has entered you, or worse, it is changing you because there is infact something malvolent inside of you. I dont know what your religious beliefs are but you can cast the demon out of your body. ITS YOUR BODY and you have power over it. you can say you do not welcome spirits inside of you and to get out, say it with confidence and mean it. it will help if you say in "Jesus's name" because of course demons have no power when it comes to Jesus so using his name will cause them to flee. however you need to be careful with what you allow into your body because you do not want to be inhabbited by spirits. even if you think it is sad and is "fleeing from an abyss", I assure you this "demon" is not your friend and is manipulating you so that you let it live inside you. I think this is very bad and you need to cast it out of your body immediatley. not trying to sound demanding here and this is simply my opinion however i wish you the best and i hope that you find what the answer that you are looking for!

[Dthoughts]

Live and let live! You know, I am actually not bothered. My agressiveness has actually lessened over the months. I really believe i have done a good thing by not fighting it all but just letting things happen so long as they are on my terms. I think simply casting it out in the name of Jesus will not do much good here. Unless i would do a really powerful ritual ceremony perhaps. Or listening to some tetha waves. But I assure you, the thought of a demon in me has not crossed my mind much. It has so little effect on my consciousness that i begin to doubt anything has changed in the first place. I actually feel quite at peace so nothing has to go either. If i where to take serious the idea of a 'demon' in my body I think it would be cool to learn more about it considering i seem to able to handle it quite fine. I'd like to aspire to be a shaman figure and learn what they do. Since they claim to fend off spirits and cure disease surely they much have had contact with and learned how to fight negative projections that are invading consciousness. Knowing that a wide amount of people believe in spirits. And most tribal people have made it a huge part of their cultures in independent societies. It does make you think, doesn't it? Maybe we carry around more than one spirit at a given time. One ought to thrive and recognize a negative spirit when you see it. Wisdom is what I seek, if i am seeing 'things' i'd like to know as well! Ultimately, i hope it will lead to finding inner peace 24 hours a day. And @Havago, Thank you dear Best wishes. See you in dreams! hah, cool!

[Baron Samedi]

i can understand what you are saying and im not sure but i think you made a mistake by letting the "demon" inside you. whether it is real or not, or a hallucination, it seems that your personality may be changing i.e. becoming more aggressive, violent and thinking of things you wouldnt have before the dmt experience. It is either changing your personality because you BELIEVE something has entered you, or worse, it is changing you because there is infact something malvolent inside of you. I dont know what your religious beliefs are but you can cast the demon out of your body. ITS YOUR BODY and you have power over it. you can say you do not welcome spirits inside of you and to get out, say it with confidence and mean it. it will help if you say in "Jesus's name" because of course demons have no power when it comes to Jesus so using his name will cause them to flee. however you need to be careful with what you allow into your body because you do not want to be inhabbited by spirits. even if you think it is sad and is "fleeing from an abyss", I assure you this "demon" is not your friend and is manipulating you so that you let it live inside you. I think this is very bad and you need to cast it out of your body immediatley. not trying to sound demanding here and this is simply my opinion however i wish you the best and i hope that you find what the answer that you are looking for! I used to be a very devout Pentecostal Charismatic Protestant Christian. I read the Bible about five times or more. I would fast and pray, and I took a vow of chastity, and tried to avoid masturbation and all lustful thoughts. I was baptized in the Spirit. I spoke in tongues of strange entities. I fought demons in my dreams, but sometimes calling on Jesus didn't work. Some demons I could defeat, and others, like Lust, I could not. I felt so guilty for masturbation, always wondering if there was a demon guiding my hand, making me do it. I felt guilty for looking at beautiful women, and thinking about how I want to kiss and touch them. Once, when I was street witnessing, a pretty blond girl who was in line for a club came up to me and started flirting with me and caressing me because she recognized me from serving her at a restaurant I worked at. I felt so guilty for enjoying the attention of this worldly half-drunk woman. I believed God had a Woman for me, and if I just was Faithful to Him and maintained my Vow of Chastity, He would bring Her to me. I waited for her. I prayed and prayed for years. I got tired of waiting. The name of Jesus did not make the demons go away that were giving me night terrors. I made those demons go away. For some reason, the Demon of Lust would never leave. I had so many lucid nightmares because of the dream demons tormenting me. Then, I started having sex in lucid dreams. "Is this wrong? I am lucid, so does that make it wrong? I am not masturbating." I finally decided that it's okay to have sex in lucid dreams, but it always felt like I was dry humping, because I was a virgin, and didn't know what sex actually felt like. Finally, right before my 29th birthday, I swore to myself that I would not be a 30-year-old virgin, and finally lost my virginity at 29 years old. I felt like the Lust Demon was not a demon at all, but my natural sex drive. My opinion is that religious heirophants teach us to suppress our sex drives, so we funnel that energy into religious fervor. I do believe in demons, and some of them have left because I called out to Jesus, and other demons I had to decapitate and disembowel with extreme prejudice. Some demons are really personifications of human emotions, ideas, and feelings, such as Lust AKA Sex Drive, or Greed AKA Fear.

[Dthoughts]

I know it! These demons. We are supposed to change them. What happened beforehand and what influenced me to invite this negativity; Cus that's what this thing really is, a dense package of negative emotions. I had experienced this negativity before and up came a sort of exorcism. Something attacked me emotionally and entered at the back of my spine, which afterwards left me from my spine towards my throat and eventually was sucked out from my mouth into the a mouth of another entity who looked more than capable of handeling it. I got hit hard though, the initial DMT trip in which i encountered the demon and learned first-hand about chakras left me feeling emotionally drained and with physical illness for weeks there-after. During the exorcism I think what happens is that the ball of negativity is cast out. When it happened i saw priests and nun and heared them singing in a very disconcerting tone. Which changed my viewpoint on the Bible. I've Archangel Michael can destroy negative spirits. What does the bible say about Jesus as an angel or protector spirit? What makes people refer so much to Jesus in the same way that Michael is considered a protector spirit by many Christians? Cus' I think Jesus is perhaps more powerful in certain ways. Although you do say it won't always help to invoke Jesus. I think these demon parasites are a lot like what virus' are to the human body. A virus comes and brings it's essence, It's DNA. The immune system then reacts by internalizing the DNA and remembering how to tame the virus, which is then passed off to children genetically. Little by little changing the course of evolution. As such, we could take a demon or a spirit his essence and internalize it into our 4th dimensional DNA and evolve spiritually. I believe at this moment that both instances of spiritual posession are seperate but physical illness can be a sympton when negativity finds it way into a human body.

[kadie]

I don't know what to say about this. It reminds me of the zombie guy in Florida a few years back. Pretty scary sh--! Also, I think it took a lot of courage to post that experience. Most people prolly wouldn't. Hopefully you manage to get to a place where you aren't carrying this thing around. At least that's my hope for you.

[shadowofwind]

Thanks for sharing Dthoughts. Wakingnomad, I think your story was worthwhile also, and I like the absence of pretense. A few comments.... I agree that we are supposed to change the demons, and we have natural relationships with them. This is a centrally important part of life for everybody, whether they think about it that way or not. I think you've illustrated though why taking DMT is not a good idea for everyone, even if it was something you needed to do. You're dealing with this demon, so far. But I think it should be obvious that a stronger demon could eventually subvert and kill you, and its still an experiment in progress to see how things will work out with this one. If you keep doing DMT it seems to me likely that you're going to get stronger demons eventually, I don't see how it could be otherwise. And someone else different than you could have more serious problems sooner. In the past people on this site have often made a big deal of the fact that DMT is naturally occurring in the body, as if this makes consuming it healthy. But alcohol is naturally produced by the body also, and plays a vital role, and is also fairly difficult to overdose on. But it still takes a terrible toll on a lot of people. I'm not equating DMT with alcohol, obviously they are very different. I'm just saying that the "its natural so it must be healthy" argument is BS. I think sex is another difficult subject, because its also natural, and it causes a lot of problems even in its natural dose. I've got enough lust to father tens of thousands of children, and means to raise two or three relatively well. Natural selection prefers that I have as many children as possible and let most of them die. The instinct is to a large extent hard wired, so there's really no way it can work out painlessly. Birth control helps a lot, but its still a bit of a patch, a way of trying to have sex without actually having sex. All methods have some negative long term effects, most notably on the woman's health, and not all of the effects are obvious to everyone. So we deal with it the best we can, even though for the time being there really isn't an philosophical take on sex or a practical approach that works perfectly well. It seems that most people aren't comfortable with that kind of contradiction, they want a way of feeling about it that's mostly consequence free. But seeing it in a non-ambivalent way requires some form of denial, which always comes with a price also. Personally I prefer to have eyes open, and pay the price of the stress from being conscious of and feeling the contradiction. Here's my favorite song about demon possession. It might not be an exaggeration to say I've been obsessed with this song. Definitely it touches a nerve. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH8y1BEXWW4 I wish you the best with your 'passenger' Dthoughts. I wouldn't say that you've made the wrong choice, its similar to choices I've made and continue to make. But I'm conscious of the difficulty also, and it sounds like your situation may be more problematic than mine in some regards. Personally I think that trying to experiment safely with hallucinogens while also carrying an alien like that sounds like asking for more trouble than it will be possible to handle indefinitely. But obviously you know yourself, your situation, and who you must be a lot better than I do. Wakingnomad, I was never Christian in quite the way you were, but I had that feeling of entitlement too, that if I lived right and treated other people well then providence would take care of my needs. "Father knows that you have need of these things". That didn't work out too well for me either. I'd say that if you try sometime, you just might find that you don't get what you need. But providence does try it seems, even if the ends don't quite meet, and I'm thankful for what I do have. Maybe I can see that its for the best if I step back from the picture far enough, even though there's no way to make sense of it that way as an individual human with his own individual karma. Anyway, thanks again to both of you guys for sharing, I find that kind of openness really valuable.

[Incubus]

"Just envisioned myself with a knife in my hand and stabbing them. The sort of thing you could try out in dreams but never in real life" envisioning stabbing a friend and killing them in a dream, what the actual fuck. and that demon was a hallucination nothing more, maybe something your subconscious conjured up to give you a message to stop feeding your own personal demons e.g pretending to kill friends in dreams.

[Incubus]

I used to be a very devout Pentecostal Charismatic Protestant Christian. I read the Bible about five times or more. I would fast and pray, and I took a vow of chastity, and tried to avoid masturbation and all lustful thoughts. I was baptized in the Spirit. I spoke in tongues of strange entities. I fought demons in my dreams, but sometimes calling on Jesus didn't work. Some demons I could defeat, and others, like Lust, I could not. I felt so guilty for masturbation, always wondering if there was a demon guiding my hand, making me do it. I felt guilty for looking at beautiful women, and thinking about how I want to kiss and touch them. Once, when I was street witnessing, a pretty blond girl who was in line for a club came up to me and started flirting with me and caressing me because she recognized me from serving her at a restaurant I worked at. I felt so guilty for enjoying the attention of this worldly half-drunk woman. I believed God had a Woman for me, and if I just was Faithful to Him and maintained my Vow of Chastity, He would bring Her to me. I waited for her. I prayed and prayed for years. I got tired of waiting. The name of Jesus did not make the demons go away that were giving me night terrors. I made those demons go away. For some reason, the Demon of Lust would never leave. I had so many lucid nightmares because of the dream demons tormenting me. Then, I started having sex in lucid dreams. "Is this wrong? I am lucid, so does that make it wrong? I am not masturbating." I finally decided that it's okay to have sex in lucid dreams, but it always felt like I was dry humping, because I was a virgin, and didn't know what sex actually felt like. Finally, right before my 29th birthday, I swore to myself that I would not be a 30-year-old virgin, and finally lost my virginity at 29 years old. I felt like the Lust Demon was not a demon at all, but my natural sex drive. My opinion is that religious heirophants teach us to suppress our sex drives, so we funnel that energy into religious fervor. I do believe in demons, and some of them have left because I called out to Jesus, and other demons I had to decapitate and disembowel with extreme prejudice. Some demons are really personifications of human emotions, ideas, and feelings, such as Lust AKA Sex Drive, or Greed AKA Fear. just wondering if your "demon terrors" started happening after your baptism, or did they increase in occurrence?

[EbbTide000]

Nooooo!!! The old gods and belief systems (as powerful as they are) cannot ultimately bind. Because the one true god comes into being billions of years after all organic life got froze out of the universe. Our tiny island of life is deep, ancient, history, to that one true god. He doesn't judge us any more than we judge the cruel, mean, carnivorous dinosaur. When he came into being he instantly merged with all space and time. He is the only thing that exists beyond all time and space. Beyond the space time continuum is just infinite energy. This infinite energy is him. (His birth). This infinite energy resulted from the universe cooling to Absolute Zero. At that moment matter stopped resisting energy. Energy began passing though matter faster and faster. Massive Overload. Brought the one true god into being. That's why his power is infinite. His body is all the energy that has ever been and ever will be from the Big Bang to Absolute Zero. Sooooo Let go of all other power beings (good or evil) . Lyrics to that Youtbe by Black Sabbath (ShadowOfWind's post) Too Late "Soon it's never more When you've got to pay for Promises - made in the night Call the magic one And with the magic comes Forever chained to the flame [Chorus:] It's too late Too late for tears Too late And no one hears you Do you feel a touch of evil (then) It's too late To wish and make it so To feel the power growing Stronger - blessed by the dark And when the candle fades You can say it was a Joke you played So you must let me go - no [Chorus:] It's too late You've said the word Too late Something heard you Too late - now the race is on And you're run out of road Too late For tears Too late And no one hears you Can you feel the touch of evil It's too late Oh oh oh save me I believe in your name Oh oh I've fallen down But now I've found Nobody to take the blame Misery It's come to drag me away And when the hunter cries No alibis Get ready for judgement day As the candle fades You can say it was a game you made So you must let me go, let me go It's too late - you've said the word Too late - something heard you Too late - the spell is gone And this time you're the fool It's too late for tears Too late And no one hears you Welcome to forever Welcome it's too late Too late" Thanks for sharing Dthoughts. Wakingnomad, I think your story was worthwhile also, and I like the absence of pretense. A few comments.... I agree that we are supposed to change the demons, and we have natural relationships with them. This is a centrally important part of life for everybody, whether they think about it that way or not. I think you've illustrated though why taking DMT is not a good idea for everyone, even if it was something you needed to do. You're dealing with this demon, so far. But I think it should be obvious that a stronger demon could eventually subvert and kill you, and its still an experiment in progress to see how things will work out with this one. If you keep doing DMT it seems to me likely that you're going to get stronger demons eventually, I don't see how it could be otherwise. And someone else different than you could have more serious problems sooner. In the past people on this site have often made a big deal of the fact that DMT is naturally occurring in the body, as if this makes consuming it healthy. But alcohol is naturally produced by the body also, and plays a vital role, and is also fairly difficult to overdose on. But it still takes a terrible toll on a lot of people. I'm not equating DMT with alcohol, obviously they are very different. I'm just saying that the "its natural so it must be healthy" argument is BS. I think sex is another difficult subject, because its also natural, and it causes a lot of problems even in its natural dose. I've got enough lust to father tens of thousands of children, and means to raise two or three relatively well. Natural selection prefers that I have as many children as possible and let most of them die. The instinct is to a large extent hard wired, so there's really no way it can work out painlessly. Birth control helps a lot, but its still a bit of a patch, a way of trying to have sex without actually having sex. All methods have some negative long term effects, most notably on the woman's health, and not all of the effects are obvious to everyone. So we deal with it the best we can, even though for the time being there really isn't an philosophical take on sex or a practical approach that works perfectly well. It seems that most people aren't comfortable with that kind of contradiction, they want a way of feeling about it that's mostly consequence free. But seeing it in a non-ambivalent way requires some form of denial, which always comes with a price also. Personally I prefer to have eyes open, and pay the price of the stress from being conscious of and feeling the contradiction. Here's my favorite song about demon possession. It might not be an exaggeration to say I've been obsessed with this song. Definitely it touches a nerve. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH8y1BEXWW4 I wish you the best with your 'passenger' Dthoughts. I wouldn't say that you've made the wrong choice, its similar to choices I've made and continue to make. But I'm conscious of the difficulty also, and it sounds like your situation may be more problematic than mine in some regards. Personally I think that trying to experiment safely with hallucinogens while also carrying an alien like that sounds like asking for more trouble than it will be possible to handle indefinitely. But obviously you know yourself, your situation, and who you must be a lot better than I do. Wakingnomad, I was never Christian in quite the way you were, but I had that feeling of entitlement too, that if I lived right and treated other people well then providence would take care of my needs. "Father knows that you have need of these things". That didn't work out too well for me either. I'd say that if you try sometime, you just might find that you don't get what you need. But providence does try it seems, even if the ends don't quite meet, and I'm thankful for what I do have. Maybe I can see that its for the best if I step back from the picture far enough, even though there's no way to make sense of it that way as an individual human with his own individual karma. Anyway, thanks again to both of you guys for sharing, I find that kind of openness really valuable.

[Baron Samedi]

just wondering if your "demon terrors" started happening after your baptism, or did they increase in occurrence? I was baptized Catholic by my grandfather as a baby, because my mother refused to take me to the priest. Then, I was baptized a Protestant at 11, then again at 12. I also did it a couple times as an adult.

[Dthoughts]

I think water might have a way of purifying oneself. When i was a kid i was a self-proclaimed satanist. Fucking cartoons, i had no idea. Either way, about a month ago i thought of purifying my house with holy water and salt but i still haven't done it and i don't see the point. Supposedly light and water can purify demons. In some cases it might work but with other's it doesn't matter wether you are doing underwater breathing at your local church's spring water while throwing around salt. (although the action might be hilarious and would expell demons for sure) It is certainly not the damned water or salt that does the job here.