Memories can be funny things, Lidybug: for example:
At a family get-together last year I brought up a man who I remembered was courting my sister some 40 years ago, named Frank. My sister was then going to college in south Florida, and Frank was living local to the school. He was rich, related to a European family of great wealth, was crazy about my sister (who was decidedly not rich), and he wanted to take her away to Europe the next year. My sister was not so crazy about him, but did like him, his offer, and his prospects. We had talked for an hour or so back then about him, with us finally agreeing that for long term happiness you follow love, and not greed, and maybe Frank should be given a little distance. That hour contained many arguments, details, and emotions, and I remember it well. Here's the funny part: when I brought it up last year, my sister looked at me blankly and said, basically, "That never happened, there never was a 'Frank'." Now, my sister (famously in the family) has a memory like a steel trap and still brings back things, in detail, that happened decades ago, so I couldn't see her forgetting this conversation, much less Frank (and there was no reason for her to lie about it either, for a variety of reasons). So I paused for a moment and said, sincerely, "Hmm, maybe it was just a dream." Even though I was sure it had happened for real, I had to resign myself to the possibility that the memory of a dream from long ago had wandered into my waking-life memory, causing me to "remember" that the dream had actually happened. .
Though I do agree that memories and dreams can and do feel different, because that is true for me as well, remember that dreams, by their very nature, are memories. Aside from the few moments when we have them, dreams exist only as memories -- there are no other records of them; no photographs, recordings, witnesses, and all the other things that lend firmness to actual memory. But they still exist, being memories. And, being memories, over decades they can certainly manage to be stored in the same piles with real memories in our long-term memory, which could cause them to accidentally be remembered as real memories, and not dreams (I think this happens a lot, BTW, especially as we age).
So, among the tens of thousands of dreams you've had over your years, Lidybug, you may actually have had a dream about being that little girl with the blue bows with your grandparents in that wonderful house (or, perhaps, you might have had a dozen different dreams; one about your that house, another about your grandparents, still another about the young man, etc) and when you were in the midst of that very emotional moment at the orphanage looking at that painting, your subconscious dutifully added to the moment by summoning a dream (or a collection of dreams melded into one) that resembled the entire situation. However, the dream had been shoved into a pile of actual memories, so it bubbled up into your mind as real, rather than dreamed.
I know this isn't a very exciting suggestion, but I think it might be worth considering. Dreams and memories can be very tricky sometimes, especially when they've been sitting around in your brain for decades. I guess what "really happened" is yours to choose, or explore -- who knows? I could be all wrong and you really were glancing back to a previous life!
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