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      I'm excited for your new surge of energy! Good luck with your lucid dare!

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      Hey RedPanda. thank you for friending me
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      Thnx for the friend request!
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    Recent Entries

    Winter Competition 2022 Exerpt 1

    by Occipitalred on 12-13-2022 at 02:47 AM
    Before
    I wake up at 5 am. I go to get a glass of water, pee and remember the previous dreams. It takes me a long time to fall asleep (40 min I think and thatís the reason why I donít practice WBTB or WILD).

    Itís VR. No, itís a dream: Godzilla.
    In the dream, I am hunting cute Kirby-like creatures scattered along a city street that I can capture for their powers. My latest prey is on someoneís front porch. Then, on that front porch, at the end of the city street above a forest, under a beautiful night sky, I hear this great sound. I donít only hear it but also feel it. In the distance, from the forest part of the city, there is a giant beast (think Godzilla) walking toward me, bellowing. My mental state is mixed between a readiness to fight it (this is a game after all!) and awe at the surreal quality of the experience. There are gaps in the experience however and I explain it away telling myself my VR headset must be falling off and once I put it back on, it isnít calibrated properly, so while I am able to bring the fantastical elements of that porch scene, I miss the impact of Godzillaís arrival. Game over. Disappointment. Now, I realize this personís porch is theirÖ kitchen. And down the stairs (outside) is more dining room/kitchen furniture. I can hear them inside their house and so I decide to quickly leave their property before they notice me. Itís no longer just furniture outside on the porch. Itís now inside the house, and I hurry out the front, noticing many strange furniture Iíve never seen before but seem functional. But then I realize itís fine if I trespass, I am dreaming. I might as well do that now: trespass. I have now arrived in a part of the city that has not loaded in much detail so the first building I pick to visit seems boring and empty at first glance, but I let it take life. It becomes a gay commune as I pass the reception room and into the shared bedroom. In the center, there is a bed tree. A center pillar branching out in beds sort of like a tree. The beds are thin and small but not all equal. Couples start to load in. Some couples can sleep side by side while some have to sleep one on another. I notice in particular a man who sleeps on his back with his hands and feet up, and his boyfriend sleeping in an acrobatís pose resting on his palms and legs. I wonder how can his muscles rest in this position. They slowly come alive and are having lively conversations. I listen and chat for a bit and then move on.

    Fake Awakening bed horror
    I wake up now in bed. My boyfriend and I notice white things scattered above the bed. I focus on them to understand what I am seeing. At first, they seem like rice but then, they subtly become bigger and alien in shape. I say: they must be earwax, they donít have the texture, but sort of the shape of an inner ear. How could I have shed so much wax? Gross! And then they are bigger and more clearly alian larvae. Disgusting! The biggest one starts moving! They are alive! We hurry to shove them in a bucket and run to a garbage. My boyfriend dumps the bucket, but they get all over. Theyíre all over me. I can feel the larvae over my whole body. I am frenetic trying to get it off me. I go to take a shower.

    Itís a movie. No, itís a dream: Ghosts.
    In this dream, I think I am watching a movie about a ghost girl. She is talking to her mother who canít hear her. The mother is running on a big city street and the girl behind her. I can hardly keep up with them to hear but the story is very touching to me. I am bawling my eyes out as I run, thinking ďwow, I love this movie! Itís really making me feel things! Wow. Iíll just watch it again another time to hear more properly. But itís strange to be running in a movieÖ A bit like the VR experience, I get gaps in the experience until I lose the girl and her mother around a bus station. The street is lined with open restaurants. I notice a guy sitting between 2 friends. I think heís cute and decide to focus on that to continue the dream. I approach him flirting, ready to kiss him. He is receptive and shy but then I hesitate because the experience is so surreal, and the scene is so alive with people and conversation. I think, this might be real life and I am in a closed relationship. There is nothing recognizable here and I have no memory of past or future. I really am dreaming: amazing. So, I sit on the guys to be closer to the middle guy that I am flirting with. I flirt for a bit, even with the two other guys but then I kind of scold my wandering mind and focus on the middle one. This prompts the one closest to me to kiss me in a way to give me a hicky. So I kiss the guy I was focusing on and the third one joins in with caresses. I am surprised by the vividness of the touch and of the scene.
    This new scene vaguely feels continuous with the previous one but maybe only because I donít remember waking up into lucidity and I am in a city street. I am observing the details with a strong sense of traveling. I am impressed. It seems this city is lived in and has its own culture with so many unique details that seem at home here but that I canít recognize. Thereís a pop rock song playing too, I notice. The lyrics are sung clearly by a maleís voice. I am amazed by my mindís musical talent because I donít recognize the song. Then, since this is a dream and there are no rules, I decide to start dancing to the music right here and then. Just making my way around, appreciating the details of the sights and the music. Then, I notice some characters behind doorways or down alleyways are also dancing. I think ďsee, how my mind and this whole dream is one. My own dancing is seeping into the dream.Ē And then I dance even more, having a good time in this inner city.


    Ghost
    I am inside a service business (think travel agency). Itís very nice and fancy but the dream narrative is that the owners are baddies. They have done injustices unto others, and I am angry. I sense my powers. This is a dream and I can do anything. Throughout the night I have often remembered dreams of invisible people unseen to all but me so from this inspiration, I become invisible to the owners. I become an agent of chaos creating havoc for fun, flying and pushing all the wall and table decorations, throwing random items at the owners. They react in shock and indignation. They run after the disturbances I cause. As they come to grab the stuff I am spilling over the floor, they come so close as to almost discover me, so I phase through a door into the next room and continue there.

    The Dreamviews Winter Challenge: Sip and kiss for stability, winter and body horror
    Presently, the contents of my consciousness are thoughts, no sensations. ďWhat an exciting night! Now, I will wake up. Too bad. Iíve been lucid a lot tonight but I didnít do anything for the Dreamviews winter challengeÖ I will get no points. Well, I did fly and phase but thatís not much. Oh well, it was a very interesting night anywayĒ. I take a sip of a glass of water. Wow. As I sip, I have sight: I can see the inside of the glass, dark liquid in a dark cup, with so many lights reflected on the water, the sound echoing in the glass. Itís a sensory overload in a complete empty dream. The dream is still empty but I have a sense of being somewhere. Ok, maybe itís not over, I can bring the dream back and complete my tasks! What are my three step tasks? I take another sip. Amazing again. The dream is coming back to life but itís still empty. Thereís just a vague empty human inside the emptiness. Remembering how lucid and vivid I felt in the kissing dream, paired with the previous powerful sips, I decide to further stabilize the dream by kissing the empty human. But before I do, a full human arrives into the dark emptiness with a cloak on hiding his eyes. His face is vivid, but it reminds me of someone I would not kiss. Whatever, itís not him and itís a dream. I kiss him. The emptiness is gone! The dream is back! We are in a big room with pillars and people. Inadvertently, the empty human who I had left unkissed latches on to my finger with its mouth. I donít look but I allow the sensation to remain. Still mid kiss, and vaguely aware of the empty creature at my finger, I focus my attention on the room, and also thinking: ďwhat are my three tasks? Summoning!.. NoÖ Advanced summoning!.. NoÖ There are three advanced tasksÖ The theme is winter. The first thing is elemental manipulation! And as I think this, I notice, at the bottom of the room, an ice rink. Amazing: I had planned to freeze all the water of the dream into ice to complete the elemental manipulation task as part of the winter theme. But my mind already put some ice into the dream! I am excited by my mindís trick, but I need to think about how I will recover from the dream beating me to it. Really, the room is like a stadium with the ice rink at the bottom and itís alive with people. Itís really not a great stadium because there are lots of pillars so I just move on to somewhere else past nearby pillars, still mid kiss. There I find a pool! Great! I focus on turning it into ice. The creature is still at my finger and I stumble and fall. I am scared for the dream stability. I have very little time left. I do not stand up. I focus on the pool from a lying down position. The corner of the pool turns into ice. Not a thin sheet but a complicated multilayered ice. Itís cool and I am happy but thenÖ thatís it? I chose advanced tasks! This will not do it. I wanted everything to be ice and snow. It must all be ice! The pool freezes over. And everywhere I look the moisture freezes into ice and snow. Itís beautiful. And the weird creature that I paid no mind to this whole time lets go of my finger and I notice my finger is looking like a strange white and pink alien salamander larva. I know I shouldnít pay it any attention, but I canít take my eyes off and I stare at it move and change forms slowly. And then I wake up, excited to have done it in the nick of time, only to realize my first step was actually full transformation into a deerÖ oh damn it!

    After
    I wake up at 7h30 so all the previous dreams happened within 2 hours and a half. Itís been the most lucidity I have had in a night.
    Well, now itís 9h30 and thatís why I donít keep a dream journal
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    Zipline

    by Occipitalred on 06-29-2022 at 03:27 AM
    I am ziplining through a detailed village on a slope, passing through windows and arches and zigzagging through the sinuous landscape. My boyfriend is riding a parallel zipline. Suddenly we come across telephone wires blocking the way. My mind struggles with the dilemma of my zipline's journey and the obstacle. What will happen?

    I phase through the wires and continue ziplining but my boyfriend is left behind. I identify a non-necessary panic coming upon me and calm it down quickly, patiently focusing on my boyfriend's return to the parallel zipline. It works slowly but quickly enough and the descent continues.
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    Video Game Controller [ Delay ]

    by Occipitalred on 12-15-2021 at 06:35 AM
    I am back at an old job. My memory tells me it's been one week and the first few days, I've been productive. The last two days, however, I have done no work whatsoever. I am angry with myself. I am sitting at a couch's ledge and a friend pulls me out of my thoughts, handing me a video game controller and urging me to play their new game. In my awareness, I see the game and feel the controller. The game is a Mario Kart style game but perhaps more chaotic. However, my character doesn't respond to the controls. I comment on my lack of control, yet, I keep trying each button, each trigger, bumper, stick... And then as I was ready to give up, the kart responds and soon, incrementally, the controls become responsive, and I accelerate my character through the obstacles and past projectiles of explosive chaos. A great anxious crowd of people flow past and ahead of me and out of nowhere, I observe that "I wouldn't have sold anything even if I did bring my wares for sale."

    Dream lesson: May I observe how my lack of control with the controller was an instance of dream "delay." May I remember in the future, when I experience a lack of control, to stay calm and focus, to let the delay catch up and the stimulation of control manifest. Same as in this dream. And same as when things don't show up.
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    Sword Dream - Dream Fiction Seed.

    by Occipitalred on 07-10-2021 at 08:22 AM
    I was inspired to share a dream fiction ŗ la MoonageDaydream.

    Seed dream (real) in orange.
    Dream fiction in green.


    Context: from my tarot practice, I have adopted the sword as a vague symbol of thoughts/cognition and power. In the last few weeks, I have imagined a ceremonial sword as I go to sleep to focus on my sense of power (to access memory during and after the dream, to recognize I am dreaming, to carry out dream goals).

    At a street store, a child steals a dollar bill. My attention lingers on the crumpling of it. It is unclear to which body my consciousness belongs if any. I become aware that we are a group and we are gathering money for a greater purpose (Robin Hood style). I sense this is the second time I dreamed this dream tonight and last time, it went well. This time, the group is gathering the money in my sweater. I hope I'll get my sweater back. They betray us. They run away with the money and my sweater. Partly because a part of me knows I am dreaming and partly because I have a sense of having proven my skill in the past, I feel this is not such a big deal: I can get it all back. The traitors flee on horseback and leave me only a white pony. That's all I need. I hop on, and race after them. At the city gate, the guards are fighting the thieves. I take advantage of the situation to steal a sword from a dead soldier and stab someone. I regret it, realizing I don't know which color each sides are wearing. They all finish killing each other off and it's a dream, so I continue after a quick pause, focused on getting the money. Outside the city, I traverse quickly changing environments, like a wide corridor with different themes. First, a forest environment, where I encounter the slowest thief of the bunch. I decide to spare her because she's only carrying food on a cart, but I do steal the food with my sword as I race by with my pony. Next, a canyon plateau and then a wide mine corridor, in both of which I stab monsters with my sword. I get a sense that I got to this point when I dreamed this dream before, and at the end of the mine, they should be planning an ambush. Great, I will get them there. But now, I am fighting a particular strong monster, a snowman that's throwing snowballs. I'm actually enjoying the fight as if it were a game. I finish the snowman off, and remember to continue to the ambush next, but before I can do that, a great pulse hits the whole dreamscape and I am sent to another dimension where everything is dark and great evil is present. The long corridor is now themed with a gothic castle environment and deep crevices. I have a sense that I need to slay three ghost witches to be sent back to the original dimension but I can't find them and the longer I stay here, the greater the peril becomes. I feel suffocated by the sense of evil and danger. Without proper transition, I am now watching TV with my brother. There is a strange family drama ongoing on the screen with each person manifesting themselves on the screen to continue the narrative. I don't get it. What's going on now? How is this relevant to the previous events? I summon - continuity - to stay attached to a specific dream content (as opposed to - freedom - to detach from some specific dream content). On the TV, there's the family talking but I'm thinking about the thief dream. Soon on the screen, I see the child crumpling the dollar bill in her hand and taking it to the thieves. They are gathering the money in my hoody. I remember this is a Robin Hood plot and that the thieves only betrayed us in the previous dream because of my possessive attachment to my hoody rather than the money and my insecurity led to the betrayal. In the spirit of Robin Hood, I donate my hoody to the communal effort. Again, inspired by Robin Hood, I am reminded of the Super Hero TOTY. I list to myself the tasks: 1. Become Dimwit, 2. Ask for powers, 3. Use powers. I feel my skin glow orange and thicken. My medieval tunic happens to match the medieval environment and the Robin Hood theme. I ask one of the thieves what my power is. He says: to multiply and distribute your power to others. I am reminded of my helpful doppelganger in my first task who solved the task for myself and the mediator dream character. I look at the group of thieves and project onto them my power. I watch them glow orange as they organize and set out a food kitchen for the villagers. A woman passes by carrying a cart full of food. I buy some of our food and gift it to her. She joins our community efforts. Suddenly, a great pulse hits the dreamscape and I am sent into an alternate dimension where the sense of evil and danger is thick in the air. I materialize a ceremonial sword of power and watch my orange hand holding it. I feel evil closing onto me. There is little time left. As Dimwit, I multiply. I see my doppelgangers in their orange glowing skin join me in the dark crevice below the ruins of an imposing gothic castle. Some of the doppelgangers leave to scout out the evil armed with their swords. I know they can protect us. The rest of us come into a circle to drum and chant as a group. The communal energy dispels the evil from the air. Without transition, I am now watching TV with my brother. A family speaks on the screen one by one, manifesting themselves as their turn arrives. I realize my previous dream has ended. I am satisfied with the conclusion of my dream and the TOTY. I summon - freedom - as opposed to - continuity - . My next goal is in line with the Book Club. I want to visit Moss' astral clocktower. I list some characteristics of the place 1. River with faces, 2. Clocktower with guardian, 3. Museum, 4. Elevator. I look at the TV for the river, but I hear river sounds from the kitchen. I walk into the forest that way and see the river. I remind myself that my goal in going to the astral is to really go get a sense of being in the astral, of feeling like I am receptive to external information. The clocktower guardian arrives from behind and tells me "You well know you have no place here. Remember in that previous dream of yours from which you are writing this fictional dream where you nonchalantly stabbed a soldier without even knowing if they were an enemy? You are too destructive to join our community. You must be isolated in your own dream" I respond: "I understand. While, I am here, I do consent to disarming myself of my power until I learn to have a clearer mind and to better control myself. Here, have this for now." I hand to him my ceremonial sword. He takes it and judges I am in good faith. He leads me to the clocktower where I enter museum. All around there are multiple artefacts none familiar to me. "I suggest this world" the guardian says holding out one artefact. I take it and let the dreamscape around me forms to match the style of the artefact. Someone invites me for food and conversation. I wake up.
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    "Reach me Halfway"

    by Occipitalred on 06-29-2021 at 05:16 PM
    June 27th 2021:

    Dream: I am on a passenger plane (but it's really a sailing ship with wings. As it happens and exceptionally, my seat is on the outside. Specifically, on the wing. I am terrified. And I need to pee. There is a pee container on a shelf on the deck and I ask to use it but a group of teenager girls are in the way, chattering and drinking water there. They are unresponsive to me. I think they're being inconsiderate so I lash out at them. I realize I must seem very rude. They simply mock me. I try to explain "You're being so selfish! I am going to be sitting on the wing! I am terrified and so I have no patience! Give me a break, please" but they have no sympathy for me. They have judged me in a way that I believe is valid for them given I was rude to start with. In a bad mood, I make my way to the wing and lie down on the special apparatus on the wing that passes for a seat. The plane gets off the ground and the speed and wind are overwhelming. I start slipping. After a while, I get used to it but I fly off the plane and see the plane just crash in the distant mountains. Oops.

    Reflection: Waking from this dream, I'm thinking how cool it was riding a plane's wing but then, I decide I should take the conflict with the teenage girls seriously. What was the real issue of that conflict? I decide that the meaningful problem was my fear of judgement (of negative and incorrect judgement) and my sense that other people cannot understand my side of things: in my dream, the girls saw me as a rude loser, and not as someone who was nervous to sit on the wing of a plane for a whole flight! But really, it was me, who expected them to have this other perspective, and be devoid of empathy. I think it comes from my hypersensitivity to think of "how will this appear to other people." Even if I do something good, I'm worried it will be perceived bad out of context. This happens, subtly, in my daily life. For example, recently, I cleaned off a touch screen to get coffee at work before the coffee was done pouring. So when some ladies came and I left with my coffee, I heard one of them say to the other "clean the touch screen!" and I cringed thinking they might think I'm rude and didn't disinfect the screen after touching it. They just couldn't know that I had already done it. That made me feel bad. But it's life. I decided to implement a new mantra and mudra to respond to these situations.

    Mantra: "Reach me halfway" (in my mind)
    Mudra: *holding out my hand* (in my mind)

    The idea is that, I do take a moment to consider other people's perspectives and give space for the benefit of the doubt and I will continue to do that for others. But I deserve others do the same for me. So, when I focus on seeing my actions from another person's perspective, I will say "reach me halfway" holding out my hand, inviting the other person to do the same for me and see things from my perspective.

    June 29th 2021 (two days later):

    I am shopping with a friend. My friend is sitting on a bench by the changing stall. A woman enters the stall, and my friend starts talking about her. I am shocked he would talk about her right there and then because she can for sure hear what he says. Ashamed, I stop him, and move further away in the store. He can tell me after when his words won't hurt that person. But turns out, the other shoppers have witnessed the event and are now accusing my friend of greater and greater transgressions. Someone says I am not guilty because I stopped him and left as soon as he began talking. But another person claims I was also gossiping about the woman earlier. People are outraged. I am willing to repair damages by paying for the woman's items. An outraged lady wants to make sure I keep my word and drags me to the pay counter. I am insulted by her behaviour and entitlement. This is too much. I say if it's like this, I won't pay for anything. I try to find my friend again but now the cops have arrested him and are dragging him out of the store away from the agitated crowd. I follow and plea with the police. They say my friend is going to jail for his abuse. I say it's all exaggerated. I demand to be a witness and fill out a report. The responsive police officer is being dismissive but as we approach the police office, I succeed in convincing him to accept my witness report. It seems like my side of things will be considered. I hold out my hand as my friend is carried into the building and cry because I'm sad he has to experience being in jail and not know what will happen next. But, there's a sense that things will end well.

    Reflection: This dream also seemed to have a similar theme as the previous dream. It progressed from a harmless comment on a passerby, feeling shame because I reached out to that passerby's perspective and knew it would be hurtful to her, and the shame growing into an indignant mob and dream police. But in the end, I was better able to demand that the other reach out to my perspective, than in the dream from two days ago. And it's funny that I did hold out my hand at the end of the dream, even it if wasn't exactly for the same reason.

    Overall, I expect to still see this pattern frequently in future dreams, but hopefully, with time, using my mantra and mudra in active daydreaming, I will gain greater power in my future dreams to have my dream characters see things from my perspective and gain forgiveness, the benefit of the doubt and better communication.
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