maboroshi

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I walked into "my psychiatrist's office," which was actually a house in a suburban neighborhood. I may have walked in through a side door.

I was in something like a side room or a spare room, not a bedroom, but more like a room with random stuff in it. The room was brown, with cheap plywood-panelling on the walls and a scruffy brown and tan carpet.

At first I thought I was all alone in the house. I suddenly became aware that I didn't actually have an appointment with my psychiatrist today. I thought that maybe I'd come into her house while she and everybody else in her family was gone.

But now I heard my psychiatrist talking with a woman. I imagined a woman in maybe her late fifties or early sixties. My psychiatrist was saying goodbye to her.

I now realized that I hadn't had an appointment with my psychiatrist: I'd cancelled it a while back. Now I was just showing up. My psychiatrist would think I was some kind of crazy stalker.

But I was here, and I'd only look worse if my psychiatrist saw me while I was attempting to leave. So I went into the office-room of the house.

The room was in quite a bit of disarray. I might not even have seen my psychiatrist at first. There was a couch running diagonally through the middle of the room, as if it had been pushed away from the wall. There were shelves in various states of dissaray, and piles of stuff on the floor and in an open closet.

Now I saw my psychiatrist. She was pulling some stuff off a set of shelves. I knew that my psychiatrist had decided that since I'd cancelled my appointment for this day, she'd work on cleaning out her office during this period. She was kind of annoyed to see me here, now that she'd set herself to another task. I was afraid she'd even charge me for a session.

But my psychiatrist asked my opinion. She had to think of a Christmas present for some young male in her family. The man was maybe a nephew of hers who was in his mid-twenties.

My psychiatrist had been cleaning out her record collection. To my left there was a wall-width stereo center with shelves filled with records. But my psychiatrist walked to the closet, off to my right. There were even more records in there.

My psychiatrist pointed to a few records. They were in huge plastic security-cases, like compact discs might be in in a store, before you buy them. The record sleeves had yellow backs, like the Deutsche Grammophone CDs of classical music (? - I think). My psychiatrist asked me if I thought her nephew might like those records.

I walked over to the records. My psychiatrist told me that if I liked them I could have them. She said they were by some Asian group (possibly a Vietnamese group). She may have told me how she'd gotten them, and that she wasn't sure whether the music was any good. I may have told her that the group was really good.

I was now watching a music video by the Malaysian pop group A.P.I. I thought I was familiar with the video and the song.

The video was of three members of the band before a white background. But something like a red curtain would often fall down through the middle of the scene. Sometimes it would fill up the whole scene. The curtain had a fabricky look, and it acted like fabric. But it was transparent, like a piece of thin plastic.

At one point, one of the band members, fully engulfed in the orange-red light of the curtain, slid into a close-up shot, either as if he were on some moving platform, or as if the camera, on a dolly, slid toward him. Then he gave a smile to the screen and turned away. The view slid back into a far shot of him.

Dream #2

I was sitting out on the steps of some building, possibly a school. I was with a few other people, "friends" who I don't recognize now. The steps were shallow, maybe only four or five steps up to the top. They were made of an aging, cheap concrete.

I sat on one of the lower steps. An older girl or younger woman sat on a short, curb-like edge to my right. Some more people sat up near the top of the steps. Those people may mostly have been young women or older girls.

Now a little boy ran out the doors at the top of the steps. He saw me and ran to sit by me.

The boy was maybe nine or ten years old. He was really skinny. He had very fair skin, freckles, and pale green or blue eyes. He had hair in a bowl-like, 1970s-style cut, about down to his shoulders. He wore a big, green sweater and dark, slightly loose blue jeans.

The boy seemed to like me a lot. He even seemed to be attracted to me. I may have been attracted to him as well. The boy may have tried to cuddle with me. But I may have been reluctant about letting him cuddle with me. I didn't want to get too aroused by the feeling of his body.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I had walked away from a group of people. I was now out walking on a beach. It was a sunny day. I was walking up toward a cluster of small sand dunes rooted with little clumps of brownish and greenish grass.

I met up with a boy, maybe twelve or thirteen years old. I had known him from the group of people I had walked away from. He may have been the son of someone in the group. The boy was kind of tall, about my height (I'm kind of short), a little skinny, but muscly, darkly tanned, with slightly messy, brown-black hair. He was wearing red, knee-length swim trunks and no shirt.

I just thought I'd be cool and say hey to the boy. But he started asking me questions about my life, as if he was really interested in me. The boy started asking me why I was taking business trips to Philadelphia and Chicago, did I like taking those trips, and why did I like taking them?

The boy even seemed to be attracted to me, which I couldn't quite believe, and which seemed a little weird to me. But I may also have felt attracted to him.

We walked over the cluster of dunes and were in some kind of small valley of sand. One side was bordered by the dunes. The other side was bordered by some kind of small ledge of brown or dark tan stone.

The boy and I sat down near the ledge of stone. The boy sat with his legs bent out casually in front of him, and his hands joined together so his forearms were wrapped loosely around his knees.

I sat down and explained to the boy that I just took business trips because I was told to. It was something I did to further my career. I liked Chicago and Philadelphia. But that wasn't why I went to those places. (IWL I have never taken any business trips.)

I may have felt that the boy was going to try to kiss me or that I wanted to kiss the boy.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in some kind of a small performance space. There were folding chairs all arranged before a small stage. There may have been 50 or 75 chairs. The floors were wood. The area with the chairs was dim. I stood at the back of this area.

The space behind the chairs was empty and lit, possibly with a combination of incandescent and fluorescent lights, as if the overhead light were incandescent, but a light from some other room were shining into the space as well. An adult woman was teaching a little girl how to do some kind of traditional dance. The girl may have been dressed in a dark pink leotard and some kind of sash that gave her a traditional look.

I stood there for a moment watching the little girl dance. The woman then told me that the girl wasn't ready to perform yet. The woman would give her a bit more rehearsal and then let me watch her. So it would be best if I didn't watch her right now. I assented and walked away. The woman may then have started training another girl or a couple of boys and girls.

I sat in the seats at the very front. I was the only person in the audience. I sat there in the dark, looking at the stage. There was some kind of set on the stage, maybe colored blue and gold-orange. At some point a black woman and her son sat down in the row behind me and to my left.

Somehow the idea of food came up. The boy wanted some kind of sweet food, maybet sorbet, from a makeshift concession stand which had been right where I was standing while I had been watching the girl dance. The boy told his mom, "It sure is good we waited, isn't it? Now the sorbet is ready, and we get it for free!"

I realized that we had been given tickets for free food from the snack bar. The tickets were like red, carbdoard circus tickets. But we'd had to wait until a certain time before the food was given out for free.

I stood up to get some food. For some reason I felt like I needed to beat the son to the makeshift concession stand, which may just have been a big, red cooler and some cheapish folding screen, with the dance instructor lady pulling food out of the cooler.

But I now heard an announcement on an overhead speaker. A woman's voice said, "The food being handed out right now is only rotten food." I understood that the timing of the good food being handed out was messed up. So I headed back to my seat to wait for the good food to start being offered.

But before I got to my seat, I started seeing things as if I were a camera. My view floated to a few different adults. At each person, the view would freeze and some little screen-title would pop up, saying who the person was. The people were all kind of young, edgy, and cool. They posed as a rock band. But they were really a group of spies. There were one woman and two or three men.

One man I remember sat in some booth like a shop. He sat behind a turntable, as if he were a DJ. He was white, with red-blonde hair and chunky, black-rimmed eyeglasses. He wore a striped shirt.

Behind the man were all kinds of circular objects, like plates or records. They were all colored differently, and each had some variation of a wave-like pattern running through it. One circle was yellow. Another was grey, with a dark grey squiggle-wave humping up in the center. Another was blue, with some kind of white, shell-like cloud pattern in the center.

Another member of the band was either a black man or an Asian woman who sat in the front row and far left side of the folding chairs. I think at first he was a really nice looking black man. Then my view went through the other members again. Then when I got back to him, he was a really cute Asian girl.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

Two kind of burly, fat, white guys managed to rape two guys and a woman. I saw the men and women close up, as if I were right near their faces as they were getting raped (all three at once?). I wanted to stop the men from raping the people, but I was on some kind of drugs, and I was too numb or dumb to do anything. Plus, I was probably also afraid of the whole situation.

I later heard or thought over the story of the men. They had done something like this before. They may have been something like bodyguards. They always guarded one particular celebrity. The celebrity was either a young man or a boy, and he was possibly very pretty. The celebrity didn't have much in the way of a personality. He was kind of a pretty face and not much else. But his father was possibly really mean to the security guards.

So, at this time in the past, the bodyguards heard that the father was going to be gone and that another celebrity, possibly male as well, was coming to visit the first celebrity. So, to revenge themselves on the father, the bodyguards raped the visiting celebrity while the first father was away.

For some reason I thought, Well that kind of makes sense. That was revenge. But this time, it doesn't make sense at all.

I was now outside in the daytime. I was in a place that looked like an Ancient Greek plaza. There was a long, rectangular fountain-pool running along one side of the plaza. The plaza seemed to be enclosed by stone walls.

A woman was walking in the pool. The water went up to about mid-calf on her. The woman was young, white, kind of cute, with short, red hair. She wore a long, white toga and possibly a wreath around her head. The wreath may have included small fruits.

This woman was the woman who had gotten raped. But now it was like she hadn't quite gotten raped, but like she had only gotten harrassed a bit while the two men had gotten raped. The girl seemed to remember nothing. She said she was so hung over from last night's party. She had apparently had a lot of booze and drugs.

The woman walked back and forth in the pool, and I followed her. I didn't feel like I deserved to talk to her. After all, I hadn't been able to protect her from the men.

Good morning, everybody.

I was in a place that may have been like a mix between a bedroom and a clothing store. The place was small and crowded with clothes and other items.

A group of black kids had done something to me. Possibly it had something to do with something perverted about me. They might have stolen or ruined a bunch of women's lingerie that I owned.

I had discovered this upon either waking up or coming out of some small place like a dressing room. At first I didn't say anything. But when I didn't react, the kids, both boys and girls, got really rowdy, taunting me. They may now even have threatened doing something to my mom.

So I decided to call some woman who was an authority figure over all of us and tell her what was going on. I picked up a cell phone off a couch that a bunch of the girls were laying on. As soon as I started dialing, a few slightly overweight girls gathered around me, yelling that I better not call the lady. But I had already dialed, and I wasn't going to hang up.

I got some weird message. The woman said she was out. She gave some big explanation about why she was out, which sounded like a blog-style rant about how hectic life is.

I now stood in a doorway at the woman's apartment. The woman had just taken a shower and she was walking around, getting dressed. She was really pretty, blonde, probably in her late 20s. She probably had a towel around her body and a towel around her head. She kept talking on and on about all these airheaded things that were apparently reasons that she was too busy to take my call.

I was trying to place the girl. She looked like a celebrity. Cybil Sheperd? No, her eyes were pale green and thin, her hair was too long, and she was too tan. Eventually I was amazed at how out of it this girl was. I thought, She can't help me. She's useless!

Good morning, everybody. Happy New Year.

My dream recall was pretty terrible over the past two weeks. I was just relaxing and doing holiday stuff.

I recall three dreams from last night.

Dream #1

I was in a movie theatre. The movie ended. I walked out into the hallway. I was waiting for another movie.

There was a woman in the hallway whom I recognized as having sat behind me in the theatre. She had seemed to take an interest in me in the theatre. So I thought I would return the interest.

But as soon as I acted interested in the woman, she ran down the hallway and started playing with a light-skinned black boy who looked about 10 years old. I understood that this woman and boy were lovers. The woman had just acted interested in me to trick me and make herself feel good.

There was now an Asian boy with me. He looked about 10 years old. The second movie was starting. I walked the boy into the theatre.

We at first sat in the back rows of the theatre, where I had been sitting before. But now the back rows were so crowded that I was getting annoyed. I left the Asian boy in the back rows (he seemed to want to be there) and went up toward the front of the theatre.

The theatre's seating swung around in weird ways, and the aisle between the groups of seats curved like a snake.

The movie was starting. I finally sat down in an aisle seat a little closer than halfway to the front of the theatre. I was surprised by how empty the theatre was up toward the front.

The movie image I saw may have had something to do with a road on a hilltop, a clear, blue, summer sky, and a white, 1970s-style car.

Dream #2

I was in some living room with an old female friend, G. She sat on a couch or chair to my right while I stood. She may have been sitting on the arm of the chair. She felt almost as tall sitting as I was standing.

G had been making fun of me, saying some really nasty things, which I found typical of her. I got mad and was just about to go away. But G began stroking my arm in a really seductive way. She said some really nice things to me. I became aroused and thought I might stick around and see whether I could have sex with her.

Dream #3

I was in a space for a flower garden in a park. The garden space was maybe 20m wide and 7m deep. It was a sunny day, but the light felt slightly grey.

The garden space was full of weeds. The weeds were single, slender flowers that looked like tulip stems topped with cream-colored hellebore (or lotus?) blossoms. The garden space was densely packed with the flowers.

I was "killing" the weeds by pulling off their blossoms. I had gotten about halfway through the garden when I stood up to look at all my work. I saw half the garden full of just stalks. Beneath, I saw dusty soil.

I wondered why I was just pulling the blossoms off. Why didn't I just pull the flowers out of the soil by the roots? That way, I thought, any remaining roots would die from the cold before they could sprout up again. Something about this thought made me think that the month was November.

Good morning, everybody. My dream recall from last night is pretty fragmented, especially for the first dream.

Dream #1

In the context of something else I can no longer remember, I was looking at a website which offered some kind of songwriting (?) service. The user would either be charged by word written or by number of whole songs (?) written, depending on how many songs had been written and how long the songs were.

Dream #2

I was coming home at night. I was across the street from "my apartment building." I looked up to the windows of "my apartment" and saw that my lights were on. This, I knew, meant that someone was in my place, as if someone had broken into my place and was just hanging around in there while I was away.

I was now in "my apartment." I was going from room to room, trying to find whether the person was still there. I had a lot of rooms.

In one of the rooms, possibly the bathroom, I pulled back the curtains to the window. I saw that the window was wide open. I knew that the person who had come in here had gotten in through this window.

I went through the rooms, trying to find evidence that someone had been in my place. Was anything missing or misplaced? Was anything in disarray? But I don't think I found anything wrong. I may eventually have found some mess under or on top of a bed in a dim bedroom.

I eventually had one of my friends come over to investigate as well. I don't recognize my friend, and I'm not sure I ever saw him directly in the dream. He was an older, tall, white man with carefully arranged, grey, wavy hair. He wore a very nice suit.

At some point the man and I had left the apartment. I probably had to go on with my normal daily life despite the threat of this house invader.

But the man had an idea. If I stayed close to the apartment but I made it look like I had left the apartment building with no intention of coming back, perhaps the intruder would come back.

So now the old man and I were milling around in the deli near my building. I was probably looking at some bags of chips.

At some point, it may have become evident that the intruder was back in my place. The old man and I may have headed back to the place.

Dream #3

I was watching some old clip of a role Sarah Silverman had had as a child. Apparently she was in some kind of show about high school kids But she looked as young as an elementary school kid. She was also wearing a costume that looked like a plush easter bunny costume, except that it was Elmo-red.

Silverman stood on some huge stage, like for the Lawrence Welk show. The stage and the background were a seamless pink. Silverman stood with a young male friend beside a minivan, which was being displayed, as if for a game show. The front of the minivan was pointed toward the back of the stage.

Silverman was doing some act where she was supposed to be giving a huge, smart monologue about all the great characteristics of this prize minivan. But, as part of the act, she kept screwing up her lines until, out of frustration, she (still part of the act) threw the boy into the minivan and then slammed the sliding door shut.

Silverman then got into the front seat of the van. The shot was from the inside of the van now. It felt like the van was also oriented in the opposite direction.

Silverman was still giving some kind of monologue as she pouted and slouched in the seat, her knees up against the steering wheel. The monologue was supposed to be funny.

But the audience (of whom I hadn't been aware previously) was booing Silverman. Apparently they had been really offended by the way she had thrown the young man in the car, even though it had only been meant to be the comedic climax to her act.

Good morning everybody. I remember three really short dreams from last night. They were all from after 2 AM. I had coffee last night and couldn't fall asleep until 2 AM.

The third dream was pretty much all lucid, even though it was short.

Dream #1

I walked through some room toward a staircase. The staircase was just past a doorway and was part of some slightly larger hallway, like for a small apartment building.

The room I was in was something like a mix between a living room and a small apartment lobby.

I had to maneuver a little bit past some kids who were rough housing with each other right in front of the doorway to the hallway. There were boys and girls, probably in their early teens or just a little younger. Their parents stood nearby. I thought the kids were funny, and they looked like they were having fun.

I wallked into the hallway and turned toward the staircase. A group of kids ran just in front of me, blocking me from the staircase. The began wrestling and rough housing with each other. I thought they were pretty funny. I just waited for their rough housing to pass.

But then I remembered that the parents were in the doorway, watching the kids. I thought that the parents would think I was weird for hanging around and watching the kids. I decided to get moving. I tried to edge past the kids. It was really difficult, because there were so many kids, and the hallway was so small.

Dream #2

I was in "my bed," in "my bedroom," which was a lot like my bedroom in waking life, except messy. My lights were on.

I was laying face-down on my bed. I was thinking bad thoughts about God. For some reason, I was really angry at God. The more I cursed him, the more amusing I found the activity.

Eventually my legs began levitating off the bed. I wasn't controlling it, but I thought I might be able to. My legs lifted higher and higher until my body was almost perpendicular to the bed, with my head on the bed.

At some point, I noticed little specks of dirt or something black all over my bed. There were also hairs or cotton fibers, also colored black, all over my bed.

I started trying to blow all the dust and dirt and hair off my bed. Some of it would blow away. But there was so much. I wondered how I could have let my bed get so dirty.

Dream #3

I was in "my bedroom" at night. I was crouched down on the floor, possibly naked, with my knees to my chest. The bedroom lights were off, but I could see by the purplish evening light.

I told myself that this wasn't actually my bedroom. That seemed pretty obvious. I told myself I was dreaming.

As soon as I told myself this, I had a false awakening and sat up on "my bed." But I was still lucid.

I stood out of the bed and told myself to remain calm. I figured I would walk out of the house and see what was around. The house seemed like a suburban house.

I was heading for the front door. But suddenly I thought, Why should I exit through the door? If I'm in a dream, I should be able to leave the house any way I want.

So I decided to walk through a wall. I turned right, into another room, possibly another bedroom. I walked straight up to the wall, which had a window on it that started at about my chest.

I thought I might climb up onto the windowsill and walk through the window. But I figured I didn't need to go throgh the trouble. Walking through a wall and walking through a window were basically the same thing.

I began to walk through the wall. It seemed pretty easy. But suddenly I saw a bright light. I felt like something was resisting. I got kind of mad, and I pushed really hard through the resistance.

I'm pretty sure I lost lucidity at this point. I fell past the wall and fell a couple stories down to the ground. I think that as I fell, I was telling myself, Oh well, I guess I woke up from that dream.

I sat up. It was daytime. I "had awoken from my dream." To my right was a red brick wall. To my left was a beach, possibly like Coney Island. The sky was deep blue and the light was dim, almost as if I were looking at an old film.