Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

Something about a roller coaster.

I told myself when I woke up from this one, I'd remember. I told myself to just remember "roller coaster". And now, that's literally all I can remember. -_-'

~

I was with some other people, though I couldn't say for sure who they were. We were taking shelter somewhere, though; America had been bombed by Britain. They had dropped a nuke on us.

Wherever it was that we were, there was a lot of radiation in an area of the room. Most of it was coming from this thing on the ceiling that we called a "generator". It had something to do with the bombings; it got moved during them, and absorbed a lot of radiation. It was this black and white metal thing that looked kind of like a moon rover. I remember getting close to it a few times, and being warned not to.

I want to say the room we were in had some sort of anti-gravitational property in it; I feel like when we would get close to the generator on the ceiling, we were floating to it.

Then, I was talking to my mom. She was telling me about something her and Windy, a woman I know from when I was in college, something about what they did during the bombing. I asked my mom about what Katie did.
"I mean crazy Katie," I said. I was referring to my old roommate from college.
I don't remember my mom's response.

I remember thinking about the exact area that had been bombed and wondering if the people immediately died on impact.

~

This dream took place post-bombing as well, but that was not the focus of the dream. It seemed that some time had passed after the initial bombing, maybe a few weeks.

I was outside somewhere, and I wanted to go do something. It had to do with my brother. I went to go speak with my doctor about this. It had something to do with my right foot; I wanted to tell her that something was wrong with it.

I put this giant black roller skate-type thing on my right foot. It was my brother's. I started to skate and walk to wherever it was that I was going. I entered a building, and into this room that looked like a lobby. It was spacious with lots of couches. I approached a lady sitting on one of the couches. She was my Doctor, Dr. B, but she looked kind of like a teacher I had in college, Dr. D. She was wearing a white lab coat over her clothing. She was also working on charts. I got her attention, and she looked up. I told her something about my right foot. She looked at me as I told her, but she seemed concerned, or like she thought that something else was wrong instead of the foot. I thought about how contradictory it was that I was telling her about a foot problem, and yet, I was wearing this giant roller skate on the affected foot. She then went on to tell me something.
"They're bruised," she said.
She was referring to the bottom of my rib cage on the right side. I "remembered" getting it x-rayed last time I was there. I guess the results were in.

I then had two of the big black roller skates instead of just one. They were made for skating on carpet. I skated around on the carpet inside for awhile, feeling how easy and effortless it was. I hadn't skated in years, so I thought it would be more difficult to get back into it.

I then was on the phone with someone, looking for this secret entrance to somewhere. It had been a place my brother liked and was very well-known at, but my brother was out of town with his fiance'. I feel like I was supposed to have a purpose for going to the secret place, like I was supposed to be trying to fix something that was wrong with me. The lady on the phone had asked me if such-and-such (can't remember what she asked me), and I said no. She had seemed slightly irritated, but hid it well, and continued to direct me.

I got off the phone afterwards, and I found the entrance somewhere in this rocky area, I think there may have been water there too. I had been there a couple of times before, but it had been years. You had to be very precise upon entering it though, or you'd go the wrong way. I slid down this smooth rock slide, but ended up in the wrong place. I had to go all the way back around and start over.

I remember being back where I started, and there were so many different ways you could go. The whole area was rocky, and it was like I was in the middle of a circle with my options all around me. The someone that I had been on the phone with then offered their help. It was a woman. I had to follow her. She was showing me a shortcut so I wouldn't have to go all the way back around. I followed her to the secret place. The shortcut she took should have seemed obvious to me, I thought. Duh. But I am not good with directions. -_-'

Anyway, so I was there, in the secret place. It was the skating rink I used to frequent as a child. I was skating on the skate floor. There were a few others there, mostly people who worked there. I skated by them, as they were all standing in the same area, close to the benches on the side of the skate floor. I was then asked about my brother, about if he wanted something, or wanted me to have this something, I don't remember for sure, or what the something was. Not entirely sure I knew what the something was when I was in the dream either. I told them I didn't know. They were going to send Kasey Kasem to ask; they knew my brother loved Kasey Kasem. I told them that he was out of town with his fiance'. So they had Kasey call him instead. I heard him talking on the phone, but I did not see him.
"Hi, this is Kasey Kasem," he started, as he so often did on the radio.
He started to ask my brother what he wanted to ask him.

I saw my brother sitting at a table at a restaurant with his fiance', talking on the phone.

I then wondered if this was a different Kasey Kasem, since the real one died. I thought maybe there was someone that worked at the rink that went by that name.

~

The Kasey Kasem thing could have easily been a lucid trigger. Gah. Oh well.

I think I'm going to try getting back into meditation, if I can discipline myself enough to stick with it. That really seems to help my LDs, while also making me feel better all around. I'll see what I can do. I can easily take 30 minutes out of my day to do it. Just gotta stay focused.

*EDIT*

Just remembered a fragment.

I was handling a few small birds. They looked like finches.



As one jumped on my finger, I felt its small talons digging into my finger. I expected this. It was alright, though; I was caring for the birds.

Dream - Lucid

I was laying on a hospital bed. I had just gotten my right leg amputated below a bit below the knee. Interestingly enough, in the dream, I had gotten it amputated before this, and given a metal prosthesis, but then, they put my real leg back on after only a few days. I "remembered" something about being with the old manager of the coffee shop I used to work at, Andrew, with my old prosthetic leg, before they put my real, organic leg back. But now, they had to amputate it again. They had already put the metal prosthetic leg on me as well. I'm not sure what the purpose of all these leg procedures was, but I knew they were necessary.

I was walking around with this new prosthesis. It felt weird, like I was still feeling the ground below my prosthetic foot through a phantom limb or something, though the feeling was a bit "muted" and off. I figured I'd get used to it with time.

I was worried about having a prosthetic leg, just because it was, well, a prosthetic leg and not my real one, but I pictured myself in shorts, wearing it with confidence. It was a really cool thought! I knew that I'd make it through just fine.

I then walked by my brother, who apparently, also had the procedure done; he too had a prosthetic leg. I think he was playing with some Legos or some kind of action figures. I asked him how he was holding up, and he said embarrassingly, or just not so well, something negative; he was not handling having the prosthetic well.

Throughout the dream, I walked on the prosthetic leg, each time feeling the oddness of my "phantom" foot as the prosthesis hit the ground. It was like I could still feel the leg, though it was gone.

Leg amputation is quite the common dream theme for me, though it has been awhile since it's recurred. An odd dream theme to be sure; I'm curious as to what it could be implying.

Dream - Lucid

I was at the doctor's with Jake. We were getting tests done. The room was white, and I was sitting on the white table, and a female doctor came in. She told me she had reason to think I had lymphoma. She then gave me this sample cup with some transparent red liquid in it. It was a home test for lymphoma that I was supposed to mix with urine to get the results.

I was then at home, and debating on whether or not I should tell my mom, or anyone for that matter. In the dream, it wasn't as much of a death sentence as it is in waking life, but still wasn't good news to hear. I didn't want to tell anyone yet, not till I knew for sure, anyway.

I went into the bathroom, and pulled down my pants to pee in the cup. In my panties was this note saying something along the lines of since my er...vaginal discharge was still wet after a certain amount of time, I had lymphoma. Gross, I know. I was then holding some magenta, heart-shaped pad. I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I think I threw it out and peed in the cup.

I then sat the cup with the pee and red liquid on the bathroom counter. It was still red; nothing had changed. Hmm...that must be a good thing, right?

I then saw a clear plastic bag on the counter that the cup had come in. It had a dropper in it, and instructions saying how to exactly conduct the test. If the test was positive, the red solution in the cup would turn green. Apparently, I had screwed that one up by peeing directly in the cup. It also said something about putting that magenta, heart-shaped pad in my underwear and wearing it for a certain amount of time. Oops.

I then took a big swig of pure urine, where I got it, I'm not sure, since I had peed only in the red liquid. It was warm and disgusting. I spit it out.

I was then freaking out to someone about lymphoma.
"Am I going to lose my hair?!" I panicked.
I don't remember the response, I think it was something like "not necessarily."

I then was posting a question about it on some forum, I think it was DV but I'm not sure, but instead of referring to it as lymphoma, I referred to it as "schuza". Lolwut.

~

My family and I were house shopping (IWL we are selling our house here and moving to another state). We were looking at a beautiful, huge house. It was so big, it was like a maze. My mom and I were walking around, going in at out of beautiful rooms. We walked into this one room with a very nice bathroom.
"I want this room!" I said. I was so excited!
Then we went into another room, and the bathroom had a HUGE, beautiful shower. The shower was white, and glassed-in, with different "stations" in it for washing.
"No, I want this one!" I said. I've always had a thing for nice showers (true IWL).
The room also had a little "nook" where a twin bed sat. On the other side of the nook sat another twin bed. I thought that was the coolest thing! I wanted it so bad, but I have a queen-sized bed, and there was only enough room for a twin. Oh well, if I had this room, I could use the nook for other things.
I really hoped my parents bought this house. It was so wonderful.

We continued to explore the house and its endless rooms. There were big and small rooms, so many to choose from for bedrooms!

~

I was outside in the driveway with my mom. There were other people there as well, people that my mom didn't like. One was a little boy with dark hair and a bowl cut. My mom was saying how much I didn't like him and how annoying he was. She said I should behead all of the people there because they were annoying. I then had a sword in my hand. I didn't want to kill, I never want to kill, no matter how much I'm "annoyed".

Then, the child laid on the ground. His head was then a knife blade, with a very small space between the blade and the body that was supposed to be the neck. I knew I needed to do it for some reason, as much as I abhored the idea, and the fact that I have a strange phobia of blood. In one swipe, I cleanly severed the "head", and blood oozed out. The driveway was then carpet, and I was afraid the blood would stain.

I then had to do it again to five or so other people. Their heads were knives also, and in one swipe, I cleanly severed them. Blood oozed out. I told my mom I did it, and she was proud of me. She didn't think I could do it. The only thing she said I was supposed to do that I didn't was slowly stab the first person in the head with a steak knife so they would suffer. I said no, I would not do that. If I had to kill these people, I would make it quick and painless.

The blood stains and the bodies were then gone, and we were in the house. We started to hear what sounded like the tornado siren. We went outside, and the sky was clear and blue. We stood in the driveway and looked over the house in the opposite direction, and saw this big, strange cloud moving quickly towards us. It was sparkling. It was really weird.

I then heard my mom say something to her friend Lisa, who wasn't there with us, but maybe on the phone? She said
"I said to paint i's, not eyes!"
The sparkles on the clouds then appeared to be eyes.
"Oh! I guess I'll have to redo it then!" said Lisa's disembodied voice.

~

I was laying on the couch in the living room with Jake, watching TV. It was dark in the room save for the TV, and nighttime outside. Jake was cuddling with me. He was spending the night, and we were sleeping on the couch. I then heard someone come in the back door, and thought he probably wouldn't be able to stay now since someone else was home. Oh well. I was so tired, I was gonna just fall asleep despite the fact that Jake was probably about to be told to go home. Maybe they wouldn't notice us in here.

So yeah...the first dream and the second to last were kind of fucked up. O_O

Also, I wonder why I keep dreaming about Jake? We dated for awhile, and though we aren't anymore, we are still friends. But he has been in so many dreams lately. Odd.

Dream - Lucid

I was somewhere with my mom. We were inside, and I remember the colors being bright tones of purple, blue, and there was some darker red in there. She was showing me how to cut things with a machete. I don't like knives or things like that, it's kind of an irrational fear I posses in waking life, and apparently in my dreams too. I wasn't really too scared though, more just worried that she would slip up and hurt me. I kept thinking that a machete blade was so sharp, it would slice at the slightest contact.

My mom was showing me some way to cut where you threw it in the air and it would come back down. When she did that, it grazed my left thumb. It didn't hurt, and I looked at my thumb and didn't notice anything immediately weird, but then I saw a slight line that went all around the pad of my thumb. I told my mom I needed to go to the hospital right away. I touched the cut part of my thumb, and it was barely attached. It then started to ooze some blood out the sides of the cut. Then I noticed the pain. I held the piece of my thumb to the rest of it, worried it would fall off and I wouldn't be able to save it. I knew there was a time limit on reattaching digits and limbs, and I wasn't about to let that piece of my thumb go.

We were then at the hospital, which had the same color scheme as wherever we were before, and we went up to the counter. I was holding my thumb, and telling the ER nurse that we needed to get in quick. I hoped she thought it was enough of an emergency to send us back right away.

Thankfully, she did. We were sent back, and my mom told me that they would put this clear gel stuff around the cut that would "dissolve part of the nerve". I thought they were going to kill my thumb, but I think it was designed to seal the wound quickly, kinda like a heavy-duty liquid band-aid.

I sat down, and a man with messy brown hair that was a bit shorter than mine and a mustache sat across from me and started to doctor my thumb. I couldn't watch as he lined the cut with the gel. My mom was sitting to my right getting the same thing done by a woman doctor I think. She didn't have a cut though, so I wasn't sure why she was doing it. Oh well.

When the doctors were done, we got up. My mom showed me the veins in her wrist, and how the medicine was causing some of them to look a white-ish clear color. I then put my wrist out and noticed the same thing. Apparently, that was a normal reaction to the medicine.

I looked at my thumb, and it looked like it was healing well enough. No blood, and I could barely see the cut anymore. Then, I saw my cat underneath a kitchen table and some chairs, and she was messing with something that apparently was supposed to be my thumb, but looked nothing like it. It was this small white thing, maybe it was the cat's paw or something. At any rate, part of it came off, and some string thing extended from it, like that's what was holding it together. I then saw that the pad of my thumb has fallen off, leaving an indention where it had been before. Well crap, that sucks. I accepted it, however, since there really wasn't anything else I could do about it. I examined the thumb, and it looked like someone had just scooped a bit from the middle. It still had the lines and creases of a fingerprint. I felt alright about it, I knew it was something I just had to get used to.

~

I was in my room, and my mom came in and started to look through my stuff since the people painting our house had to do something in my room (IWL we are having the house painted). I went into my closet and watched her do it, hoping she wouldn't get into my top dresser drawer where my pipe was. She then headed over there and asked something about the dresser. My POV then switched to me being behind the dresser. She started to open the drawer, and I ran out and shut it, saying
"You don't want to look in there. Please don't look in there."
She didn't argue or anything, she just opened another drawer instead.

Then, I remember walking out of Peck Hall, a building at my old college, and I was with some other people, my friend JT being one of them. He had his arm around me. In front of me, I saw the back of a girl in a cute black sun dress with grayish flowers on it. She was wearing a headband in her straight blonde hair. It looked just like my good friend Kacey, whom in waking life moved away to another town last year. I asked JT if it was Kacey, and he said no. I knew it couldn't have been anyway. We kept walking.

~

I remember a brief fragment about Gabriel texting me saying he was busy or something.

~

I was in my room again, looking at some painting that The Sandman apparently did, of an Indian girl getting fucked by a white dude on my bed by the closet...I could hear him explaining it to me. It wasn't his original plan to paint that, he had just started to paint a hand on the closet door, and he was inspired to paint two people fucking. Lolwut.

Then, there was some weird black contraption in my room. It was a dolly that the painters were using to carry packages or heavy loads, but at first I thought it was a weird sex toy. I touched something that protruded from the center, which I assumed was used for, well, sexual purposes. Hmm...interesting. I then saw the wheels and realized what it really was.

I then saw this guy laying on the floor next to this girl I had some classes with in waking life named Natalie. At least I think it was her. Anyway, she was giving this guy shot after shot in the leg, right where it bends, a little below the side of the knee. They were supposed to be steroid shots or something. Natalie was giving the shots like a professional nurse would. They were talking as she gave him the shots. I said something about my mom getting steroid shots in her shoulders for her pain. He would occasionally say it hurt, but they would keep talking.

She finally finished giving him shots. I have no idea how many he gave her; it was quite a few. I saw the part of his leg that was getting the shots was slightly swollen in the spots the needles had gone in.

I finally got to sleep last night after struggling for hours to do so. I take ambien to sleep now, and I guess I've built up a tolerance, or this batch just sucks. Either way, it's not helping me sleep right now. I had to take an allergy pill to even have any hope I would fall asleep, which I obviously finally did after sitting up half the night watching documentaries on Netflix. Hoping that a visit to the doctor will straighten out the sleeping meds problem. I do eventually need to get off the Ambien, and I will once my life slows down a bit.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a room, I think I was asleep, or supposed to be. I think it was pretty messy. In the room with me was a very old woman, probably in her late 80’s to early 90’s, and she was very sad. She had a small pallet on the floor to sleep on, just a bunch of blankets and such. When I talked to her, she barely had any life in her. She was so old and weary, she just wanted to die. At the same time, I think she was afraid to die. Mostly though, she just wanted to be done on this Earth.

I went somewhere and came back, and she was talked to a younger man; a doctor. She seemed to perk up a little bit as they talked.

When I approached her again after the doctor had left, she seemed much happier; there was more life in her eyes now, and she was smiling. She explained to me what the doctor had told her; it had something to do with her not living much longer, but it was ok that she was still alive now. He had somehow gotten through to her. I was glad to see her happy.