Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I was walking around with a life-like baby doll in my arms, but I was acting like it was a real baby. There were many other people around in the area I was in, which, I honestly have no idea where that was. I think it was in a big mall or department store or something. I remember having to change the baby doll's diaper, and being confused as to how to do so. I stood there with this baby doll who had a dirty diaper on, trying to think of who to ask about changing it.

I then realized that this was a baby doll, and that I was just practicing for when I had my real baby, which I was pregnant with. It was Jake's baby. I looked down and rubbed my belly. I was showing a bit, and, underneath my hand, I could feel the new little life moving. I felt the outline of her body. I got really excited about being pregnant! I exclaimed to someone that I could feel the baby. I then looked at myself in a mirror, and saw my baby bump. I felt really giddy!

My joy then immediately turned to worry; I started to fear losing the baby. I was afraid that any little thing that made me panic or get angry or something would cause me to miscarry.

I then started to tell people that I was pregnant and that I was excited for my little girl to come into the world. No one responded. I remember even telling a girl I'm acquainted with IWL, Maegan, but she just stared at me like everyone else. I also remember calculating my due date, which came out to be sometime in March, but that didn't seem right for some reason, as if it was supposed to be later than that.

~

I was at my house. It was Thanksgiving, and family kept coming over. I was standing in the living room when my ex, Chris, and his girlfriend came through the door. They sat down on the red chair that's in the corner of the room.

Um...what? Who invited them? I thought maybe my mom did. I know I sure didn't, but no one said anything.

I was then upstairs with my brother. We were in the bonus room, when Chris brought us a tray with a small silver bowl of what looked like chicken broth up to us. He said it was soup, and set it down. It only looked like broth to me, not soup; I was skeptical. My brother started to eat it. I then heard Chris from downstairs telling his girlfriend he had saved all the chicken and rice for them.

Uh, no, this isn't cool. I stormed downstairs and into the living room. There were other relatives in there sitting on the couch I believe, but I didn't care. I was kicking Chris and co. out. I stood firmly in front of the couple, who were both sitting in the same small chair, and said, sternly and forcefully,
"Get out of my house. What are you even doing here anyway? And was that our soup?"
He said no, it was their soup. I then said
"Well, that doesn't matter. You're in my house. And I'm kicking you out. Go!"
They stood up and left. Thank God. But I still couldn't figure out why they would want to spend Thanksgiving at my house. That had to be awkward for them, too.

I was then working, but it didn't look anything like work, though I was doing the same thing. I was working behind a very long cash register counter, about the length of the room we were in, with some other people. A middle-aged lady with very short blonde hair came up to me and this other girl with lots of jewelry and a check. I can't remember what she was trying to do, it was something complicated, and she was trying to explain to us what it was, but the girl I was with took her small, flimsy light brown wallet from the counter and opened it, saying her ID wasn't in there and we needed her ID for what she wanted to do. I took over and started to calmly ask some questions to see if we could sort everything out. The people next to me behind the counter then took over and started to ring her up on their register. Well, I guess that takes care of that.

I was then in the same building, but I was leaving work now. Chris was there for a little bit, and I told him why I got so mad.
"I heard you talking about the soup," I said.
He said "Ohhh..." as if it made sense now as to why I was so mad, you know, besides the fact that he brought his girlfriend into MY house on Thanksgiving.

Ahem. Anyway.

Chris was then gone, and I was standing with a short, stout middle-aged woman who was supposed to be Chris's girlfriend's mother. I felt really awkward when she started to talk to me like we were friends. I talked back to her, and was polite and nice, but I didn't exactly know what to say besides making small talk.

We were then waiting on an elevator. A small screen popped up in front of us of a cartoony, poorly-drawn picture of his girlfriend, with "Ji's" written above it in bubbly, black block letters. It was supposed to be Chris's Facebook profile picture, and "Ji's" was a business or something. The mom stared at it longingly. I felt even more awkward.

The elevator then opened, and we stepped inside. She started to tell me about how she was moving to Knoxville. I told her she better make sure she had all of her stuff together, and she said she knew, and just kept talking about it, and that she had to move around a lot. I thought that maybe she was in the military or something. She was talking to me as if I was any other person. I felt a little better about it then.

She then commented on the fact that the elevator wasn't moving, as if someone had hit the emergency stop button right before our floor. The door then opened to an outside area. The area was lit, but looking up at the sky, you could see many stars; it was nighttime.

I also remember seeing a flash of a white screen with black writing that quickly streamed by on it at some point. I remember it said something about love, "Love is not ____." (can't remember that last word) was one of the sentences in the stream of writing that whisked by my vision, or something like that. Whatever it was, it was saying something about what love wasn't.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house, sitting in my room. It was evening, and I had this awesome idea to book a hotel for the night, since I didn't have work in the morning and it was the weekend. I thought it would be something fun to do for a night or so. I thought I could bring some drinks and maybe a game system or two, and I'd be set. I was thinking I'd probably go to Nashville.

But I didn't want to go alone! So I called up my good friend Christina Yang from Grey's Anatomy, and asked her to go with me. I told her we could just get a room with a single queen bed to save on price if she "didn't mind that sort of thing". She didn't mind.

We were then in our hotel room in Nashville. It was now dark. The room was pretty nice and spacious. The lighting was dim. The bed was to the left, and the TV to the right, with big windows at the end, covered with translucent off-white curtains. The carpet was a dark red, I believe.

I was really excited for this. It would be fun to treat myself to a weekend out in a hotel. I couldn't wait! I then "remembered" doing something similar with Jake once, where we stayed in a hotel room, and I went to sleep while he stayed up and played games.

Then, I was with Christina Yang, Dr. Shepard (also from Grey's), and another woman. We were by the bed in our hotel room. Dr. Shepard and the woman were then lying side by side on the bed; it was an invitation for Yang and I to join. I got on top of Dr. Shepard, and I told them Yang would take the girl. We had been drinking, and apparently Yang hadn't really drank before. She stumbled into a hallway in the room and threw up on the floor. She then came over to the bed, and I was looking down at Dr. Shepard as I took a swig of drink from a bottle when...

it was then the next morning. I couldn't remember a damn thing about the night before! I must have blacked out. I asked about it, though I'm not sure who I asked, and was told it was a crazy awesome night! I asked if I drank a lot and I was told yes, though I honestly only remembered drinking a little. I was not nearly as gone as Yang, and yet, I couldn't remember anything! I had a feeling it had turned into a foursome/orgy type of thing. Sigh. And I didn't remember. That would have made for some interesting memories.

I then asked Yang what it was costing us to stay at this hotel per night, and she said it was $200 something. Shit! I barely have the money for that. Definitely not the money to stay two nights. I suggested to Yang that we stay in a cheaper hotel that night, one under $100/night. She suggested a hotel in Mt. Juliet instead of Nashville. I was fine with something like that, but we needed to check out ASAP. Yang then disappeared off somewhere, and I was left to pack everything up. I looked over by the big windows, and there was a small dresser there with a Wii, a small tin, and a Playstation 2 neatly lined up on top of it. The Wii and the tin were mine, but the PS2 was Yang's. I then walked by an ironing board, and hanging off the edge was a navy blue cable knit jacket. I then remembered that that had been the jacket Yang had on when she threw up on the floor, so it probably had vomit on it. I left that alone.

I then was trying to find the hotel exit. I rode in the elevator a couple of times, which moved very fast up and down. I talked to a man in the elevator the second time. I commented on how fast the elevator was.

I then was down in some basement area, and an older lady there, I think the hotel owner or some employee there, said the only way out was through this basement maze. She opened a door to it to show me. She said that I'd throw up in there quite a few times because of something with the amount of oxygen down there. I looked through the door and saw some people walking through, one a man. He leaned down to vomit. Ugh, gross. This can't be the only way out, right? I backed away from the door. I needed to find Yang; evening was coming again, and I didn't want to get charged for another day in this hotel.

I found Yang at some point at told her about the PS2 still being in the room. I then started to worry about the Wii and the other valuables that were still sitting in the room. I thought that since we had been away from the room for so long, someone may try to steal all of that stuff; it was sitting out in the open, after all.

Dream - Lucid

I was at what looked exactly like Jake's apartment with a bunch of other people, including my friend Rachel, and one of my old teachers from college, Mr. H. Apparently, it was some sort of class.

Mr. H told us all to go around the apartment and memorize as many items that were there as we could "in order", whatever that meant. We all then started, and I stuck by Rachel. We named off all these items as we all scattered across the apartment. I remember seeing a lot of vegetables in the kitchen area. The one I specifically remember is cucumbers for some reason. I named off other items in my head, talking to Rachel about them. Everyone seemed excited.

We only had a short amount of time to do this. Mr. H soon called us back, and we all sat on the couch in the living room (even the couch was the exact same as in Jake's apartment). He gave us worksheets, and we had to name off the items we remembered "in order", and answer some other questions about them. I had been trying to remember all the items I encountered, beginning with the first one, but I started to get confused, and just wrote down each of the individual vegetables and some other random things. That question was actually closer to the bottom of the worksheet.

I noticed that others were having little to no trouble remembering the items; one girl even had over 500 items listed, I think the exact number was 534. Many were already turning in their assignments, which Mr. H was grading right away, and they were getting good grades. I know at least one person got a 100.

I think I was the last to finish the assignment. I felt like I wasn't going to do very well. I turned it in to Mr. H, who was sitting on a kitchen chair in the living room, close to the door. I sat down in another kitchen chair close to him and waited. He gave my paper back shortly, and it said 54 on the top. Great. I got a 54. And everyone else is musing about their awesome 100s and such. Ugh, I feel like a complete idiot.

But then, Mr. H pointed something out to me. There was some weird, small white sign between us with a red number on it. There was the number 119 written over the 54. I guess I got a 119. Um...yeah, I can live with that, that's awesome as fuck, but wtf?

~

I was sitting outside my front door on the red brick stairs that lead up to it. It was sunny and nice outside; a great day. I want to say it was morning, actually. A small calico cat came up to me, and I started to pet her. She was so sweet! I was talking to her, saying she was adorable and such, and then I looked to my right, and there was a cop just sitting there, in his uniform, drinking a mug of coffee (I'm pretty sure it was coffee). He looked fairly young and had short dark brown hair and a mustache. Internally, I freaked out at first, then realized I had absolutely nothing to hide, nothing to freak out about. He looked at me. He looked content and relaxed with a happy look about his face, though not overly so. He said something about the cat's owner, whom I think was actually him.

Then, I was playing this PC game that I used to play when I was a kid. I'm going to break from the dream for a second to explain the actual game. It was one of the first online games I ever played. It had come with this other game I had, some game from the "Jump-Start" series of PC games. I want to say the game was called Knowledge Land. You "walk" (slide) around a coarse 3-D world with other players with an avatar, the most common avatar being a mouse. You earned other avatars, such as tigers and even humans, by collecting different types of cards, some of which you earned by going into this cave thing and answering questions that this computer asked you, and some of which you could just pick up off the ground.

Anyway, I was playing that for some reason, and I felt like I was a little old for it, and the game was waaay outdated, so I would more than likely be the only person playing it. But I was wrong, there were others playing. I was friends on there with some guy with a Japanese-type robot avatar. The game in the dream had the same idea as the real Knowledge Land, but it was very different graphic-wise; there was a more extensive 3-D world, and you could move about it more freely. I was helping the robot guy with something, though I can't remember what.

Then, I was in an elevator with Andy, I think Jase, and some other guys. They were holding up these Star Wars t-shirts to their bodies, showing them off since they had just bought them. They were excited about them. I commented on Andy's, saying it was really cool.

Then, the elevator started to move down very quickly, and I started to freak out a little because I was floating up towards the ceiling from the speed we were traveling. Everyone else seemed to be grounded but me. They were holding onto some railing I think. I was commenting on it to them. I then thought about curling into a fetal position as I usually do in these dreams with the elevator (a fairly common theme for me), but I started trying to get a handle on the handrail so I could stay put, even though I actually started to really enjoy the floating.

The elevator then started moving in other directions, like forward and down hills and stuff.
"Wooo!" I said, "It's like a roller coaster!"
I was having fun. I could even see out these windows that were now in the elevator. We were being carried on this rail that was above us. There was water around I believe, and we were traveling through a building. I remember seeing lots of metal bars.

We finally stopped and got off the elevator. I think we were in some sort of parking garage.

~

I had another dream this morning, but I can't remember it right now.

Dream - Lucid - AP

I was outside, approaching a fenced-in tennis court with a track around it. There were many people my age walking around it with children on their shoulders. I was going to be assigned a child, but I didn't want to participate. It was some after school program or something.

The next thing I remember is stepping into a giant elevator the size of a room. It also looked like a room, with hardwood floors, overhead lights and big windows, though there was no furniture. The windows overlooked the city. The elevator started to climb upwards, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. Then, I figured out I was going up the Sears Tower, and once the elevator got to the top, it would plummet back down very fast. I was already on the elevator, and even though I was frightened, I knew I had to stay there, and that once I reached the bottom, I would be ok. The elevator reached the top of the tower, hovered there for a minute and I overlooked the city. Then, I sat on the ground in a fetal position in preparation for the plummet. The elevator started to fall at a very fast rate, and I closed my eyes. It felt like my stomach was going into my throat, the way it usually feels when you fall at a very fast rate.

Then, I was at a house with a family, I think it was Ryan's family, or at least it was his mother (I've never met them in waking life). At any rate, it was Kacey's birthday, and we were all going to go out somewhere. Everyone was in the van but me. I remember Kacey was in the passenger's side seat, with Ryan's mother sitting in the driver's seat. I was going to go with them, and they were waiting on me, but I could only find one of my pink house slippers that I was going to wear. I was walking around with only one of them on. I went to the car to ask Ryan's mom where the other one was, and she told me she didn't know, but I should check somewhere else (can't remember where specifically). I went back into the house and still couldn't find it. I looked out into the van, and I saw the back of Katherine's blonde, crazy-haired head in the passenger's side seat. The van looked very full of people.

The elevator thing is a fairly common dream theme for me, where I'll be in a plummeting elevator, and I sit down in it in a fetal position as it is about to drop. I never really think too much about it in the dream though other than "Oh shit". This time though, I seemed to face the fear. Interesting, as I have no fear of elevators in waking life. Symbolism? I think so.