Xanous' Dream Journal

#490

Im at some church service with my mom. They talk about some lady keeping her baby after being raped and that baby having 33 kids. Justin says doesn't that hurt? I say, "Nah after awhile they just fall out in a conga line." We laugh, but notice she's right behind me. I'm not totally sure it's her but Im scared to look. I tell Justin look because I can't tell.

We are on a bus now. The lady is question is talking in British accent about her recent child birthing. I realize it is her and hope she didn't hear me make fun of her.

The bus stops. My son, Riley and younger daughter, Dalynn, get off. I'm overly aware od Riley's glowing red shirt. They walk past my window alone. I panic and start knocking on glass the glass to get them to loo at me. I yell, "They got off!" Dalynn phased through the bus and takes a sear, but the bus driver leaves Riley. He's too young. My mom is the bus driver. I scream, "You're leaving Riley!"
She calmly says" Well, he'll have to find his way back."
I say, "You're not leaving him. If this was real life you wouldn't." I look at my older daugher, "Hey! "Is this real life?" She just looks at me curious. I go ahead and do a nose plug just in case

Lucid now, I move to front of bus. I say to my mom "He's back right there now. No worries...boom." I point and turn expecting to see him. There he is. "Look mom, there he is. I look at mom and look back. He's not there for a second but I refuse to believe it. I look harder and a different child morphing into his likeness. I see he's wearing the same red shirt and leave it at that. I don't get caught up on the details. I'm just really determinded to not leave my child alone at a bus stop dream or no dream. I wake up.

Night 1:

#461 - WILD - 3:00AM

Because it took two hours to set things up, I was extra tired going to sleep at midnight. Or I thought I was, I was having a very uncomfortable time with the EEG net and was in and out of light sleep with long bouts of wakefulness. I realized part of my issue was not having the sound of a box fan to lull me to sleep so I spent a ton of time meditating.

I finally manage to watch dreamlets form until I hear a loud voice say, "I still remember the smell of her fried chicken." I was curious if the voice was talking about the lab technician, but then, I remember. I latch on to the feeling of being in the dream and try to move my arms. I feel mild vibrations and slight resistance as I sit up. I float up into darkness. I become excited and remember to give the left-right-left-right eye signals. I spend the next few moments in the void trying various things to get some traction. I have the sensation of physically opening my eyes and I see some light on part of the wall. I worry that this is the actual room (it wasn't) so I quickly close my eyes. My thoughts cause me to wake up.

Night 2:

#462 - WILD - 6:00AM

We got set up early and I lay down around 10PM. I felt much more comfortable and tired this time, but my dreams where hard to recall and I had no lucids to report. I decide to pretty much skip my 3:30AM WBTB and I wake about 4:22AM. I have to be disconnected so that I can use the restroom, so all of this woke me up enough that I spent what felt like most of the next hour being very awake. I used this time to meditate into the dream almost exactly like the night before but this time it gave the *indescribable feeling* like before and I have to roll to my left to make it pass.


Later, I come to some awareness and feeling of being in the bardo. I float up and quickly give the left-right-left-right signal, but I am not sure if I am actually in REM yet or not because it's all dark. I decided this time to go ahead and open eyes. It felt vivid and I was worried that it was my physical eyes. I was happy to see the room was well lit and very different then my actual location. I also note that when I focus on it, I can also feel my physical eye closed tight. I go ahead and give the eye signal once more for good measure.

I leave the room and find myself upstairs in my parents old house. I see my mom down stairs and glide to her. In a weird, Norman-Bates-tone I ask, "What are you doing mother?"
She doesn't say anything, but her body becomes gaunt and rotten. Her right arm is now missing with splintered bone protruding from the stub at her shoulder. She looks up at me hungrily with red rimmed eyes and dark circles under. She has a look of hunger as she stared at me with her head hung low. I am taken aback, but only slightly frightened. I decide not to accept this and dismiss it. No.

The scene resets and I am now standing with her in the Main Room. My mom has returned to normal, so I hug her to put emphasis on the restoration. I say something to her about all of this just being a dream and how everything is OK. I feel excited and overjoyed to be lucid and having completing my goal. I think of waking up, but I remember that I was supposed to stay in dream for a few minutes if I could. I am not sure of the time, but know it hasn't been long at all I turn to go out the back of the house, but all of this, thinking about waking up, actually wakes me up.

#384 - DILD 6:37AM

This dream was probably inspired by watching "Gravity" and "Guardians Of The Galaxy" yesterday.

I am the captain of a starship. I have somehow acquired several other ships either by space battles or other means. I look at a computer readout showing several ship ordered by value. The one at the top is worth 8 something billion dollars, almost 9. There is some older woman who I think of as important. She is in need of a ship of her own and I am feeling generous. I decide to let her have her pick, but not the most valuable one. That one is mine. Shes comes back not liking any of the starships I offered her so I reluctantly offer the more valuable one. I haven't really got to check out this ship yet so I decide to go with her. I see that I have a spacesuit on with a helmet already. I notice that there is no face shield and I am able to put my hand inside the helmet. I decide there must be some sort of force field that will activate when I go out. I open the air lock and make a quick space walk to the other ship that is docked to my main ship. I use something like a large air tank to propel me forward but when I look down it is just a can of air duster. I feel embarrassed and quickly drop it. Unfortunately, I don't think to take in the view of space during this all of this.

I climb up a ladder and come to the main bridge. It looks very much like something from Star Trek but there are skeletal corpses standing around. I feel fear and disgust but I remember this is the effect of the weaponry I used against them. I haven't had a change to clean this up. I think I see one of the corpses moving but when I look I see that it was just my imagination. I make my way through some darkened corridors and feel I am being followed. I turn around and see that one of the corpses really is moving and right behind me. I say, "You're dead. You're not supposed to be following me." Then I quickly dismiss the whole thing as I turn a corner and open a door. There is a room full of people that are still alive and healthy. I am not sure how to handle this so I hit my communicator badge, "Dad.... I mean... err... Co.. Commander." It's really weird having my dad as my "Number One" officer. I tap again, "Commander, we still have people in here. I need assistance immediately." There is no reply but I feel like he got the message. I find a darkened room that I really need access to but I can't find any light switch. I tap my badge again, "I need power diverted to Engineering." This doesn't do anything for me. I feel a little panicky now, "Commander, come here please. I need help."

*Memory Gap*

I am now somehow lucid and talking to a woman on an old Motorola RAZR flip as I walk around the living quarters of the ship. The exact conversation is a little hard to recall but she kept saying, "Tonight's the big night. Stick to the plan. Don't fuck it up." Her voice sounds like Scratch from "Were Alive". There is some other garbled word she says but I focus many on asking what the plan is. I can't get any answer from her other than her repeating the same things. After a long time I hear a click and the phone disconnects. I try pushing the send button as a redial function. There is one ring then silence. I do this several times then try *69. Someone picks up. I say, "Just tell me what the fuck you are talking about. What's the plan? What plan?" I have no idea why I am so hung up on this but I am completely obsessed with getting an answer. As I am on the phone I am paying close attention to the living quarters. Most of it looks like a large mobile home. I end up in some large complex bathroom. There is a section that has a toilet in the shower. I feel like something looks familiar but can't place it (my parents camper trailer). I leave this area and find my mom sitting at a dining table. I let the phone conversation go and decide to ask my mom, knowing that all DCs are connected as part of my subconscious. As I make my way to mom I feel a slight instability to the dream. I know this dream has gone on for quite some time and i wonder when I'll wake up.

I sit down across from here and ask her about the phone call; I forget my exact wording. She responds, "Austin to Houston then to a computer." I was listening really closely and want to make sure I understood her so I repeat it back. She smiles and nods with raised eyebrows like she had really said something great.
I chuckle and say, "That doesn't make any sense. You [My Subconscious] are all crazy assholes." After I say this I realize I am insulting the deepest parts of my psyche. My mom frown and almost looks evil. I lean forward and I large cardboard box appears between me and the edge of the table. It jams into my neck. There is a little pain but I feel like I am choking. I decide to give up on all of this now and try to think of actual goals as I stand up. I wake up.

The Walking Dead

We were over ran by zombies and trying to find a safe place. A lot of people died. We make it to a church. We are inside it and there is a man and woman there. I am up on a stage and there were doors. I hear and see a zombie moaning and turning a doorknob. Open it to kill it but two cups fall out. One was blue and one was turquoise. I treat the cups like they are full of zombie viruses.

I notice some tomatoes pilled high in the corner. I go back to the people and I see Laurie and Hershel from The Walking Dead. I assume now that I am Rick. I sort of hint to Laurie about the tomatoes and how we made "Something" from them to create explosives. She gets it and lets me know we will use them later.

I am now on a 4-Wheeler in my state trooper uniform and hat. I worry that I will attract all the zombies back to our place but I am looking for something. The landscape looks like Texas in the summer. Dry open pasture land. I see a old run down sign that looks like something from a Fallout game. It says something about a resort.

Then I get a flash of memory about how I went there and knocked on the door wanting in so bad. But the people inside where cruel and evil. I barely escaped alive.

But no that's not what I want. I see a trashed out mobile home. The metal frame looks good. I want it. Then I see it hauled off by something.

Now I am standing in an open parking lot. I see three of those mobile home frames outfitted to be solid bug sort of caged looking. They are stacked and hanging from one another independently from a crane. We have attached bits of broken rope and rags of all colors so that it is easy to climb up them and be high up and away from any zombies. I climb up and wonder why it is so easy and why I don't get tired. Then I see a severed thumb with a silver ring hanging from a rope. I am shocked at first. I pause to examine it and then quickly forget about it.

Now we are all in a comfortable living quarter inside one of the mobile homes. It is fully furnished and complete with everything we need. We are entertaining the kids with some sort of projector video game.

I wake up.

Another Poop Dream
I am at my parents and we are getting ready to go to General Convention (a church thing). I am pissed off and don't want to go. I am sitting in a recliner and my wife is next me saying something. I am annoyed because I am trying to read the Bible but she is talking. I get hateful and tell her to leave if she wants to. That I won't beg. As I am saying this I see a bookmark that says "Preach it, Thomas". I think this must be my grandfathers who is now dead.

I go up stairs to the bathroom. I am still grumbling how I don't want to go. I need to poop so I sit on the toilet. Then I find myself suddenly on the floor in front of the open door. I start to go but I see my mom may a face like what are you doing and then she waves me away like go ahead. I stand up and think no I should be on the toilet.

Then I remember that I dream this a lot and I say, "Am I dreaming? Am I dreaming?" I say the words but I don't really ask the question. It is just like something I was supposed to say and had no meaning.

I sit down on the toilet and hear the poop plop in the water.

Alarm clock wakes me up.

Aids:12.8mg menthol before bed
Methods:Attempted WBTB WILD - Failed
Morning Suppliments:500mg L-Lysine, 500mg C, 595mg Potassium Gluconcate, 1 Super B-Complex
Sleep Quality: Heavy sleep. No RLS. Tired still this morning. Pillow not comfortable

Fish Dog
I am walking outside and the world is flooded up to my calves. I have this fish that is following me. It is my pet but it is behaving like a dog. It is jumping up at me and swimming around me and wanting my attention. I smile at it and continue to walk. I look up briefly and check the sky to do a sky RC like I do in waking life. I see nothing unusual or odd so I shrug it off and continue.

Then I get an underwater view of the fish swimming. Like a camera is following from behind. The water is clear. The fish looks like some sort of evolved fish with legs and large teeth. Kind of alligator-ish. It is just dog paddling and half turns its head to acknowledge me.

Then I am inside my house. Or a house. I am walking around and the Fish and the water are still present. I wonder how I could have all this water in my house and not rot everything out. I assume it is built to handle it. I look closer and start to see odd things like there is carpet and the floor is not level. I think that this really needs to be fixed and I worry some about it. I am really questioning why there is water everywhere but I just don't think about testing reality.

Then I am looking at a fake rock pond. I see a large golden Cichlid. I recognize it as one of the same fish that I had in an aquarium long ago. (I feel guilty because I remember that I flushed it down the toilet because I got tired of it. It wasn't even dead.) I add more water with my mind because I notice the fish didn't have much room. It keeps trying to swim upward.

Forgotten
Damn lazy ass didn't write it down!
Forgotten
Damn lazy ass didn't write it down!

House Sitting
My mom and I are going over to my Aunts house to check on it since her and her family are gone on a long trip. We go in the front door and look from room to room. The house is familiar but different. I tell my mom it looks a lot like my first house I bought but they really changed a lot of stuff and it looks really nice. The kitchen has a door and it is partially sealed. We get it open and the first thing I see is dirty dishes that have bee sitting for days. I half expect it to stink but I smell nothing. I look and see really nice title floors and counters. I look down a hall and see a bath tub and linoleum. I am turned off by that and go back the other way. In the living room we decide to leave.

We get outside and I see a man in a truck in the yard yell at me to let him in. He is the exterminator and needs in. My mom and I wonder why an exterminator would come so late in the day. It is about to get dark. Before I could do anything I get distracted by my older daughter and my two mini dachshunds. We all go back inside and I worry that one of the dogs will pee. I tell my daughter not to touch her because she will get too excited and pee on the carpet.

Interpretations: None at the moment