sedrick

Someone was making a new version of Lord of the Rings. it was turning out horrible. The orcs were basically people dressed up in chimpanzee suits. Sauron was a huge ugly monster and he had a wife. He ate his own spit.

I was sent to live in a bookstore. There was an all-boys' section. As sort of a personality test and to see if I had what it took to live there I had to fight a Pokémon boss battle. I did horribly. Some obese teenager pushed me over from behind. I remember being a bit surprised by that.

A screaming man came riding over a hill on a tractor and started shooting maniacally at me with a machine gun. I ducked underneath a car for protection and started saying my prayers.

A young man met a boy who claimed to be his long lost brother. But it turned out he actually wasn't, and the false brother kidnapped the young man and forced him at gun point to make humiliating phone calls to all his friends. In total, he was forced to make 470 of these calls. Then the false brother murdered him.

I was in a men's restroom with the door open. I has holding a white latex surgical glove. I took some scissors and cut about an inch off the end of the index finger. I filled this up with water from the sink, tied the open end and threw it like a water balloon against the wall. It burst and splattered water. Then two girls came to the door and looked in at me. I picked up the remains of the finger, held it out to them and said, "Look! It's Professor Siri!"

A young man got fed up with his girlfriend, murdered her in her sleep, and vlogged about the experience. They were the proverbial "cute couple", very affectionate. They looked sort of like hipsters. They lived in like a hotel that didn't have any doors. You had to climb into your room through the window via a ladder. The man must have been unemployed.

One day, the man just got tired of her. Maybe she annoyed him or he just didn't like her anymore. So he settled on the obvious solution to his problem: to kill her. Before she got home from her job or whatever, he drenched her side of the bed in some sort of toxic liquid that her skin would absorb.

She came home. She was obviously utterly in love with him, and she was sooo happy. She loved him more than anything. After they had talked for a while, they went to bed together. In the morning, she was dead. He started making videos about what it was like to kill someone. He seemed really happy and excited. I remember him saying something like, "Yeah, it felt good, man!"