Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I just recalled a bit of something...another dream about not attending a class that I was enrolled in. I think it was math again. I only remember this detail, all others are very vague pictures. Some kind of ceremony, I think? Maybe graduation? Not entirely sure.

~

I'm not sure where I was, but it was daytime. Dallas was texting me. He was in Oregon. He was saying he may fall down this huge hill. I guess he was hiking and close to a steep hill/ledge. I was worried for him; I hoped he didn't fall. For awhile, I was then not getting any responses from him, and when I'd text him, it would have trouble going through. He must be in a bad reception area. I then tried to call, and it wouldn't go through. I was really starting to get concerned.

I was then in the car, sitting on the passenger's side. Dallas was in the driver's seat, but there was no wheel on his side. I guess I was driving. Anyway, Dallas was sitting there completely naked. He had fallen down the steep hill/ledge. His body was turned in a way where I couldn't see any of his junk. I looked at him, and he looked relatively normal, aside from his front teeth looking like they got banged up, his lip was half normal colored and half a little dark. I was talking to him about us taking him to the hospital, letting his mom know, etc. I also commented on how quickly he got from Oregon to here (it's literally across the country!); I said something about it taking him an hour.

He then told me he didn't think I could handle seeing his injuries. I was talking to him about something when he said this. He turned his body all the way around and...his penis and testicles were completely gone. I tried to keep talking and ignore it, but I couldn't. I was then thinking about some IWL conversations we had about penectomies and how Dallas would fall into a huge depression if that happened. He was telling me it got cut off in the fall, but he couldn't go back and get it. He seemed to be in shock about the whole thing right now, like it wasn't affecting him that badly. I was wondering what they could do for him at the hospital.

I then saw him again at some point, a side view, and it looked like his penis was there after all. It was a very brief view though. I think we were in the hospital.

~

I was going down through the floor, down, down, down into darkness. I realized this wasn't waking life, but it didn't feel like a lucid dream, it honestly felt more like an OBE (for convenience purposes, I'm going to use the color code for my LDs, even though I genuinely do not believe it was a regular LD). I decided that I wanted to see what Hell looked like (I do not believe that heaven and hell are real places, but states of mind and being). In a previous experience some years ago, I was going down into the ground in a similar fashion in an LD, but I was too afraid to see hell, so I went back up. This time, I said to myself that I could handle it; I was ready to see it. I was concerned about waking myself up, but I held it together very well. I then looked down at my body and saw I was naked in the darkness as I descended. Interesting.

I then was in hell. I was in a room where there were these long tables all around the perimeter of the room. There were children who were supposed to be getting their faces painted by adults, but the adults were cutting their faces and painting them with blood. The children were scared and upset. There was a doorway leading into another room. I went into that one. I don't remember what was specifically going on in there, but there were more scared and upset children.

I then was in blackness again, and this feeling of fear and despair came over me. I knew they were not my own feelings, but the feelings pervading this hell. I saw vague shapes in the blackness.

~

I woke up from that last dream and fell asleep again, fully aware that I was going to enter a dream. I was out of my body again. I was in the house I grew up in. I don't remember many details about being in the house, but I then went outside and floated into the air. It was a bright and sunny day. I decided since I had seen hell, it was time to see heaven. I went up, up, up into the air. I then was in this tube that was very vivid. It was covered in light blue squares that had some Disney character's face on them. I went further into the tube and the color changed to yellow with more characters. It kept changing like this until I emerged on the other side.

I was in what looked like the exact same face painting room from hell, except for this time, the kids were really getting their faces painted. They were not scared or sad, but it was a much more calm atmosphere.

Unfortunately, I don't remember any more from this experience. I don't think much happened after that.

I then was back on Earth, outside in the daytime. I was floating, working on the effortless method of just letting it happen, but then I started to go down towards the Earth. I started to make myself float up again, and started to "swim" through the air. I knew that this was not what I had been working on, and it felt like I had more resistance, but it was working. I was swimming upwards and to the left towards the house.

There was a point where I looked in a mirror slightly above me and at an angle, and wanted to make angel wings appear on my back (something I tried to do in a previous LD not long ago), and lo and behold, there they were on my back. They were white and feathered. I smiled; they were beautiful.

~

I was again entering a dream. I felt like I was leaving my body, but appeared in a different room. I saw my sleeping body laying on the bed. It was naked, but in the same position that I fell asleep in. I seemed to be in what looked like a hotel room. Someone else was in there too, though I'm not sure who. They could see me though, which was kind of surprising. I went into the bathroom and floated. Someone else came in, my CS assistant manager, C. She could see me floating in the air! I was surprised that she could see me! I started to do these flips between the walls by the toilet, and she was laughing. I loved it!

~

Caved and took a whole Ambien again last night. -_-; I'm going to take a half tonight, otherwise I'll never get off this stuff. Though the experiences I had were very cool. I never felt like I was lucid dreaming; I felt out of body. It really did feel different. It was quite fascinating!

Dream - Lucid

I felt myself falling asleep. I sat up out of my body, and went over to the other side of the bed. I looked around my dark bedroom, and then, decided to look at myself. My body was there, on its back (I fell asleep on my back), peacefully asleep, much different from the last time I had one of these experiences (last time my body was tense and afraid, eyes wide open and terrified). My body wasn't under the covers.

I went up to my body and stroked its hair, and said
"You are beautiful."

Then, I was in a room with Brett, my first long-term boyfriend that I dated in high school. I wanted to fly with him, since he was there with me. I grabbed his hand, and he said something, though I can't remember what; something along the lines of "what's going on?" or "where are we going?" I said back to him, trying to carefully choose my words,
"This is a lucid dream!"
He responded
"Oh right, a lucid dream," like he was agreeing with me that it was, indeed, a lucid dream.
I thought about whether or not he was a DC or an entity, since most of my DCs give me a blank, stupid stare or just outright deny that it's a dream when I call attention to the fact that I'm dreaming.

We then flew up into the sky, where either the sun was setting or the sky just had those sunsetty colors in it. I remember vividly feeling Brett's hand inside mine. We talked as we flew, but I can't remember what about. I then looked up and saw a starlit night sky and a beautiful, vivid red galaxy. I pointed it out to Brett. I thought about how this was the first time I had been able to fly with anyone hand-in-hand. I've tried before, but the person "weighed" me down, or someone else took me up to fly, and while we were ascending, I'd wake up.

~

I was in some mountain river or stream or something. This dream occurred during both the night and the day. This guy I went to high school with, Jason L., kept pushing me down into the flowing body of water, onto the rocks, etc., saying things to me as he did so. I don't remember what it had to do with, but it had some sort of purpose. I then remember seeing a body, not sure if it was mine, his, or someone else's altogether, but he/she busted their head on a rock, and bright red blood started to pour out. I started to freak out.

I remember talking to Jason L. civilly in this dream, and I remember trying to get out from under some rock and my vision kept shaking, like I was trying to get out from being stuck underneath a block in Minecraft.

There was a point where I became lucid again during this dream, but I quickly lost it.

There was more to this dream, but that's all I can really recall.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house in the playroom. I was looking at my left foot. I pushed the top middle of it, right under my middle toe, and it opened to show wires and mechanics; my foot was mechanical. (think Will Smith’s arm in I, Robot).

Apparently, the reason I had a mechanical foot, was because Jason had one. I talked to him on the phone about it at some point. I don’t remember if it was through text or actually talking on the phone.

I then remember talking to my mom about it. She was asking me if she was sure that was a good idea. And I kept backing it up saying it was a good idea.

Jason did tell me that he had lost the feeling in his foot after awhile. I noticed that my mechanical foot wasn’t as sensitive as my real foot. I didn’t think it was a huge deal.

~

I was watching a movie about a female high school student who posed as a teacher. It was a comedy, kind of like Easy A or something. The girl had straight, short/medium length dark brown hair, and glasses. She had an accomplice, her friend, who was helping her cover it up. I kept seeing them get in the accomplice’s car and go places.

I think she finally got caught.

I then remember talking to my mom about the movie. I’m not sure where we were, but we were in a room somewhere. In the middle of talking to her, I had the realization that I was dreaming. I smiled, and looked at my mom and told her this was a dream, and I got the same look most DCs give me when I mention that. I ran past her.

I examined my hands to keep the dream stable. I also yelled
“Stabalize!”, which successfully stabilized my dream.

I went by a dried up potted plant sitting on a counter. I touched the leaf and it felt so real and vivid. I love it when that happens.

Then, I remember being upstairs. I was in a room that looked similar to the bonus room. I wanted to go somewhere else; to get out of the house and fly outside. I tried to tear up the ceiling, but only saw insulation.

I then spotted a dark blue wall with I think yellow stars on it; it almost looked like it was wrapped in wrapping paper. I started to tear it up, trying to find something or somewhere new. It came off in big blocky chunks, and just looked the same underneath as it did on the surface.

I woke up in sleep paralysis. I kept still and let it buzz until I went back into the dream. When my mind was sure I was dreaming, a voice in my head said
“Action!”

I then effortlessly floated from my body in my bed. I was then close to my body’s head, and looked down and saw my body. It was laying on its back, and its eyes were open wide; it looked so frightened. I gently stroked its head of messy hair. I felt compassion for the body lying there.

I examined my hand to try to stabilize the dream, and it worked for a second, but I then lost it.

Again, I woke up in sleep paralysis, and the same scenario repeated, and I again heard
“Action!”

I then was in a room. I wanted to fly, but it had been so long that it was proving to be difficult; I felt held down by gravity. I fought the heavy feeling in my legs, and took off through the ceiling and into this crazy cloud world. The hues of the clouds were grey and blue, and there were all these colorful floating structures; it reminded me of a Super Mario Galaxy world.

I was a little unsure of the flying at first, but I then felt like I was riding a current, and it got so much easier. I rushed by all these crazy floating structures, some that were swinging back and forth. I was smiling and laughing, saying
“I’m dreaming! I’m dreaming!!”