Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in. My family was there with me, my mom, dad, and brother. It was, once again, the zombie apocalypse. I remember being in my old bedroom with a family member, and them opening the door to check if the coast was clear. They freaked out as they saw a bunch of zombies coming towards the door. If I am not mistaken, through the doorway, I saw that same ponytailed zombie from my last apocalypse dream first before the horde. I went to the door in a panic to shut the zombies out.

Then, we were all packing up to leave, to go somewhere safer. Similar to Fear the Walking Dead, we had a huge boat in the garage we were going to escape on. I was packing my things quickly, trying to only take what I needed, but I was throwing lots of extra things in there; I felt bad leaving anything behind, though I knew I couldn't take everything. I remember putting a lot of clothing in the suitcase.

I then overheard some guys that were doing some landscaping work on our house discussing our boat. I was afraid they were planning to steal it, so I started to frantically hurry my family along in packing up. They didn't seem to get my sense of urgency, but I kept urging anyway. My brother had no clean clothes to pack, so we got his dirty clothes hamper and we started to pack dirty clothes in his room. It didn't matter that they were dirty; we needed to get out of there ASAP.

I wanted to take at least one of our cats. The cats that were there were Pounce (deceased IWL), Ziggy (also deceased IWL), and my current IWL cat, Belle. I wanted it to be Pounce that we took. I saw her sitting under the kitchen table. I pictured myself putting her in my current cat's cage to take her along. For some reason though, we weren't going to take the cats with us.

We then were putting the packed suitcases into the back of the boat, which was now a huge van-like vehicle. In the garage, the landscapers drove by on this huge white cherry-picker-type machine. They said something to us, hi maybe, not sure. But it made me feel more urgent in packing. I stuck my suitcase in the back. All the suitcases fit nicely. I remember someone putting some 12-packs of Coke in the back as well.

I then was getting in the van to sit down. Inside, I saw Jarrod and another person getting things ready to go.

~

I was at the house I grew up in. I was in my room, which was dark save for the closet light. I was lying on the opposite side of the bed from what I normally used to sleep on, and I was giving birth. I was alone. The baby was born, and I cut the cord myself. It was a girl. I then gave birth to many more babies, two who were still-born. The still-born babies didn't seem to bother me, I just knew I had to keep birthing babies. I labored and cut all the cords myself, setting the newborns wrapped up in white blankets on a bedside table. They were all so quiet and sleepy. I had I believe 6 in total, but I kept thinking there were only 5 there. Most were girls and only 2 were boys. The two girls born first I named Alana and Alyssa. I named one of the boys Michael, but I don't think I named the rest.

I then started breastfeeding each baby. I would take them in either the cradle hold or football hold and bring them to my right breast first (the one my daughter IWL preferred). I would them pull my lips over my teeth to simulate some sort of latch? I don't know why I did this, but it made sense in the dream that I had to do it so the baby would latch. The babies succeeded and didn't succeed. There were some attempts that were great, and the baby got some colostrum, and others the babies had trouble latching, but there was never any crying or screaming from them. I remember for one baby, I had to brush my nipple to their cheek so they would root that way to get to the milk. They were all so mild-mannered and sleepy. When I finished the feeds, I would put the babies back onto the bedside table.

I was then explaining to someone in the house that 2 babies were still-born. Again, it didn't seem to bother me, as if it was just a natural thing that happened (which it is, I guess).

I then remember something about a huge dental needle. My mom I think was going to give it to me in my cervix so I'd have more babies. I was done for the day though. I had so many babies to care for already.

I never felt tired or overwhelmed from all the babies either, just a sense of duty and a neutrality that kept me going.

~

This dream was sort of a pick up from the last dream. All the babies were there. I was with my family and some others I believe. Alana was still just a newborn, but she looked like a toddler. She said she wanted to eat some apples and apple juice. She didn't want anything else. I wasn't sure she was old enough for that, but she insisted. I figured I'd get her a bag of pre-sliced apples. Alana looked like she was related to this girl I know IWL, Alicia; she looked like one of her IWL daughters. I believe Alicia was also there.

I then was at the store with my husband, one of my best friends IWL Cherie', and a girl named Meghan that I don't hardly talk to IWL. The store resembled a "super" Kroger that I don't frequent IWL because I don't know where everything is there, as it is so big. I was not shopping with them I don't think, but waiting for them to finish. When they came back to me, I was standing in this lobby-type area on the second floor of the building. Apparently, the grocery store was not the only thing this building had. It was kind of like a huge shopping center with different stores and activities on different levels. They came to me and they hadn't gotten apples or apple juice. They had gotten cheese though, which I thought Alana wanted. I forgot if she wanted cheese, apples, or apple sauce, but I KNEW she wanted apple juice. I got pissed that my husband had picked out all the wrong things. I headed down to go shopping. I had to go down this weird, metal, roller slide thing. If you ever went to Discovery Zone as a child, picture the rolly slide they had there, only silver metal instead of multicolored plastic. There were areas on it that were bigger, darker rollers and you had to do something to put more of your weight down on those, and they would lower you to where you needed to go. I remember sitting on it backwards and not being sure how to trigger the big rollers to let you down. I did it though.

We were then shopping again, and this time, we STILL didn't get apple juice. We walked down the aisles looking and my husband picked out these canned mandarin oranges in a sugary juice. We checked out and I was, once again, so pissed that we still didn't get apple juice. We were on the second floor lobby again, and I asked my husband if he was stupid and went back down to the store with Meghan and Cherie to actually finally get apple juice. We wandered around the store, and I went to the aisles that I thought for sure the apple juice would be on, but nothing. We finally asked an employee, and she pointed down an aisle and told us it was there, and at the end of the aisle. Well, we went down the aisle and it was just these big containers of I think cereal, no juice of any kind. I was getting frustrated and worried about Alana, as she was back home and needed to eat. I came to the end of the aisle, and we were at the back of the store where they keep a lot of cold items in coolers and freezers. I didn't want frozen apple juice, but I didn't know that we had another choice. I opened a cooler and there was unfrozen, refrigerated apple juice in a HUGE container. The container had written on it on the left-hand side: "0% orange juice, 100% apple juice, 0% (some other fruit) juice". I thought about how much juice Alana really needed, and pictured her actual size. She was as tiny as a fairy and was floating around, but still looking and acting like a toddler. She definitely didn't need a lot of juice, but this was the only container I could find, so I put it in the cart and we started heading back to the check out. We ran into a girl I knew when I was going to school named Kris. She and Meghan exchanged a greeting, as they had been best friends apparently at some point. They called each other their apparent old high school nicknames, one had something to do with the name Jasmine. We passed them and went on to this weird, almost blacklight looking area in the store.

We then were at checkout. We were going to this line where you had to get this weird machine with a long cord so people would check you out. There was a big, younger black man there with the machine wrapped around him, which he had apparently broken. The cashiers or someone was getting onto him a little for it.

~

Now THIS is the recall I'm talking about! Hell yeah. I woke from my first dream and immeditely took notes in my phone. The second two I didn't take notes for. Getting that recall back up to par! Yay! Also, the hormones during pregnancy really drive up the vividness factor in my dreams so that is a HUGE plus to being pregnant, you know, besides the obvious growing a new life thing.

Dream - Lucid

I was with my mom and some other lady at a department store. The lady was looking for something specific. I split up from them and looked at other things on my own. We met back up at some point, and the lady kept going down aisles. I wanted to leave.

Then, we were at I think my grandparents' place having a dinner in my dead grandfather's honor. There was an empty seat next to me, and then the seat where my grandma was sitting. I thought I saw my grandpa sit down next to me; it was like a hallucination, but then I remembered that he's dead and the hallucination disappeared.

The dinner was more like a celebration of his life rather than one of mourning.

There was more to this one, but I can't recall right now.

~

I was married to Dallas, but Ashley lived with us as well. I had told her she could be our wife too. I "remembered" doing so. We were in our apartment.

I was speaking with Ashley, and she was telling me I needed to give Dallas a bj. I didn't want to, but she seemed very firm about it. It didn't matter; I still didn't want to. She then said I needed to sleep in the room with Dallas at night, and she didn't want me to watch Netflix anymore before bedtime. I thought about myself watching Netflix in a separate room from them at night in bed. I told her I could turn it down, but she didn't care. She then said she was going to take it away, and I said no. I was adamant about watching my Netflix. I feel like she was speaking on Dallas's behalf about all of this.

I then thought about something that I guess I hadn't considered when I had asked Ashley to be with us: We all had to have sex. But...we hadn't. I hadn't had sex with just Ashley, and Dallas hadn't had sex with her either. I thought about how this could complicate the relationship. I also thought Ashley probably really wanted to have sex with me. I had never had sex with a woman before.

~

I had to go to work at Kohl's. I was working my last few days there, finishing out my two week's notice. I walked in, and it looked like I was walking into the back of my job now more than it looked like Kohl's. There were many people back there, though I do not think anyone from Kohl's was actually there. I seem to remember an old friend, Alex being there. A few people saw me, but I remembered that I left something important at home, and I needed to go and get it. I turned around and went back.

Then, at home, Ashley told me that she called and told them that I had drank way too much the night before so I couldn't come in on time. Um...ok. I guess she thought she was somehow covering for me.

I then was driving back to Kohl's, wondering why they were even letting me work since I hadn't shown up for some of my shifts that week. Oh well. As I was driving, I would drive through these areas where the road would get all unpredictable and spooky-looking and the sky was pitch black. I'd look down at my hands, and they would flicker in and out of being a skeleton. At this point, I wouldn't have control over where I was going; the road was skinny and one-way with no room to turn around, and no turns whatsoever. I "knew" about these areas (more "remembering"), and was afraid I'd eventually come to the point where I would be a skeleton for a long period of time instead of just the flickers. I got to a point where I just felt like it would happen for sure, and I started to flicker a lot, but then, I went out of the black area, and I was fine.

I then was in traffic in a small downtown-like area. The sky seemed to be grey as if it was an overcast winter morning. I drove by this small car that had a small trailer hitched on the back of it. It didn't have any walls, just a frame, and I could see that it was carrying a space suit and something else. It looked as if it was about to tip over, and it did. I stopped immediately to help. So did many others. I went and picked some things up off the ground for the guy who was driving. I hoped the space suit wasn't damaged too much; it was valuable cargo.

As I was going back to my car, everyone who helped the man was being congratulated, and being given a reward. I got one as well. It was a bunch of little sticker-type things. I was happy to be getting recognized for helping. I headed back to my car, which was right next to where the accident took place.

I then was at Kohl's again. I wondered if anyone thought it was suspicious that I had left, Ashley said I was hungover, and I came back just fine. Oh well. I then saw David, and he gave me a hug. He then grabbed my butt as he was hugging me. I liked it. I guess he could do that now that I was leaving Kohl's. I guess he had a crush on me or something. I said something to him, but I can't remember what.

After that, I saw Shane. Shane did have a crush on me. He sent me these cartoon movies/comics he had made that remind me now of Tomodachi Life graphics, of him and I being together and having fun. One of them was of him proposing to me. But I was married to Dallas, so that couldn't happen. He did other things for me as well on a computer. He was really in love with me.

~

I was at my current job taking my lunch break. I was eating in some weird corner of the store that doesn't exist IWL with a coworker from Kohl's named Cheryl. We were eating and talking. I watched her talking, and noticed she had a grey mustache. I thought about it for a minute, but I didn't think it was weird. She then burped very quietly. I commented on it jokingly, saying
"You can do better than that!"
She then replied saying something about the burp, about how she couldn't do better than that. I came back with
"I've heard you do better than that!" I "remembered" her burping a little louder in the break room at Kohl's. She laughed. I was glad she laughed; I wasn't sure whether or not she'd find that funny.

Then, her break was over, and I still had some time left on mine. I decided I needed to grocery shop. I went and got a basket, and went to the produce section. I saw these weird, small oval-shaped tomato-like fruits that had zippers on them. I had wanted to try them before. I started to look through them, trying to find one that was fresh. They were very picked over, but I did finally find one, a small, round one. I put it in my basket. I thought about how I needed to get bananas for Dallas and, well, lots of other things. Too many to fit in the basket. I needed a cart instead. I wanted to put my basket down somewhere so I could grab a cart, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do that. I put it down on a white counter by the door, and nervously pondered on whether or not I should grab a cart real fast or not. I felt weird and drowsy at this point also. I then decided to ask if it would be ok for me to put my basket down while I grabbed a cart. There were three cashiers working, all with their backs to me. I said
"Hey! Excuse me! ...Cashiers!"
Nothing. They either didn't hear me, or were ignoring me. Whatever. I went out and grabbed a cart. I then went and had to do something else real fast, but I can't remember what. The cart was gone when I got back, however. Ugh. I knew that would happen.

I then went outside. It was daytime and sunny out. I was underneath the overhang. I started to draw with these marker pens on part of the wall. I drew 3 or 4 cartoony faces with just eyes and a nose, no mouth, with an arm. Hard to explain what they looked like. I remember a boy and a girl being the first two that I drew, but I can't remember the gender of the others. I drew them all in a line together, and underneath it, I wrote, in cursive,
"Sarah is dead "
Sarah is my brother's fiance' IWL. Wow. (IWL I don't want her to die!). I had mixed feelings about what I wrote.
To the right of the faces, I wrote something else. Underneath that something else, I started to write out one of my dreams. I then realized I needed to go back from lunch, but I needed to clean this up first so I wouldn't get in trouble. I spit on a paper towel and started trying to clean it up. It was kind of coming off. I was cleaning off these neon yellow and orange smiley faces. They would fade a bit, but weren't going away completely. I then started to rub them a certain way, and they disappeared. I did that to all of it to clean it up. It looked good as new. One of my coworkers, TJ, then came up and said he'd clean up my mess for me, but then, he saw that I already had.

Dream - Lucid

I was at some school, sitting in a classroom in the very back. We weren't sitting at desks, but long tables like some of the classrooms at my college have in waking life. I was smoking weed out of a pipe. I "remembered" that I had done it like every day in that class, and no one ever said anything. I was sure that they smelled it.

As I smoked, I watched the smoke come out of my mouth. I looked at the backs of the people's heads in front of me. I remember specifically a girl with long, very curly brown hair.

Then, I remember being in line for something. Kim, a coworker, was there. She was waiting on some medicine or something. I guess we were waiting to go into some room and take whatever we needed out of it. I ended up going in there, and there was money (the amount was $120), hair ties, and other items sitting on this desk. I took the hair ties, which ended up being Kim's. I said something to her about them, I think I asked her if she needed them or I told her I had them. I don't remember her response. I also remember wondering who would take the money. I was surprised no one had yet.

Then, I was in line for something else inside of a school building. I hadn't originally signed up for it, but I was there anyway for some reason. I had with me a strap-on vagina? Wtf. I was trying to wear it (I don't need it?), but I couldn't get it on.

I was then picked to go next along with my friend Dakota. We went to another room or something, I can't remember exactly where we went. But we only had a limited amount of time to be there. So what did we do? He got on top of me and we started to make out on some platform. No one else was around. I kept thinking "I'm making out with a gay guy.". (He is gay in waking life).

We came back, but my memory of what happened next evades me.

~

I was in a cafeteria, sitting at a table. I looked to my left and saw Chris with his new girlfriend, who, in the dream, was a black girl named Ebony. He looked thinner and he had more hair, kind of like in my previous dream about him. I saw her hug him, and I let out a scream over the noise of the cafeteria. I got up and ran off.

I was then coming back, but I was now in a grocery store. It was like I was coming out of one of the back rooms. As I walked out, I looked to my left again. There was Chris, shopping for groceries. I remember him wearing baggy blue jeans, but I can't remember what he was wearing on top. I stood there in shock as I stared at him. He saw me and stared back. I could feel that my face looked very sad.

Then, Chris took a frozen loaf of bread and threw it at me. It hit me in the face...it hurt. It really hurt. I went up to him just as his girlfriend was coming up to him. She was carrying a big box, almost as big as her. As I grabbed Chris, I said to Ebony
"I know who you are."
She kept trying to get Chris's attention and trying to find out what was going on.

I shook Chris. He was against a shelf. I was eye-to-eye with him as I desperately got upset with him. I don't remember exactly what I said, but his face contorted into a smile and he laughed at me. I thought about taking his button-up shirt and ripping it, but I didn't do it. Then, he said
"I miss the old Krista."
I looked at him.