Les Rêves

I'm in NY house's family room, just coming out of the bathroom. However, the location is actually GMU even though my family is there. The sun is very bright in the room, it's all naturally lighted. As I leave the bathroom, I look outside to what should be the backyard and I see Felix. I'm completely shocked, my spirit is soaring, the sunlight is my feelings, spreading out. I notice he has a different hairstyle. His hair seems to be parted on one side, which is a really funny look. His eyes are also blue, but it doesn't strike me as odd. He's doing yardwork of some sort, near the grass. I'm on a high. He catches my eye and smiles/waves, I walk a bit closer as I smile and say hey. As I approach him, my visions shifts so that I can see him closely. I see his figure clearly, his whole upper body - mostly shoulders - is ridiculously big. Like, pushing possible human proportions. It seems to get biggest around his broad shoulders and back, and then shrink down immediately. I think, jeez he's huge. Like a giant. I am in awe. A bit of a blur after that. I find out that Felix actually lives right there, at GMU's border, instead of off campus. He's with his parents. Of course it makes no sense, but I just accept it. I have a blurred image of his parents, who seem to be really nice. My parents decide to invite his family over for dinner that day or something. My feelings were the most prominent in this dream; they would soar, soar, higher than they've ever been. My head was dizzy. I was engulfed with a storm of emotions. I was so glad he was there. Transition to a hall-esque place in which his family has come. Actually, I'm waiting their arrival. When they arrive, I remember one thing pretty well - I did something. I don't know what it was. But I tilted my head, and I saw Felix smiling down at me as he entered the dining room in the hall. I remember it was really significant, because what I had done was such a "Rabia" act, that I knew he would smile, charmed. I felt great, as I always do when I reveal something about myself to him. I hovered around a little. I thought, man this is such a great time to talk to him. I can spend the whole time talking to him. As the song goes,

and in the darkened underpass, I thought oh god my chance has come at least. But then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn''t ask..

I went outside to check the food out. I was nervous and scared. The food was all spicy, Paki food and I wondered why my parents chose that, as it'd probably be to spicy for his family. I hung out, talking ot a few people. I was slowly becoming lucid. Shit sucked. But..I was still on a high.

I woke up directly as this dream was fading, and I was like: yes, my first real dream about Felix this whole goddamn summer. Must tell Gus.
~

I was shopping at Pathmark, looking rather bummy as I aways do at grocery stores. I remember very clearly, thinking about what to get and going through the isles. The pathmark looked weird, it was out in the open. No roof or walls. As I paused to look at cereal, two loudly conversing guys went down my isle. I became wary as they paused at the end, not talking anymore and eyeing me. After a while, I glanced up at the taller one who was staring. First thought: wow, he's really good looking. He walked over to me, and started talking, looking very amused. "...Rabia! from 804? Wagner?" First, I was shocked he remembered my name because it had been 5 years and only met a couple of times. Second, I racked my brain to remember him, and my brain instantly gave me a false memory. Very weird. I was like, "Oh my god! It's you! I can't believe you remember. Sorry about my appearance..blahblah." His friend sniggered when I referred to myself as bummy and then promptly walked away. So my guy says, "Yeah, I remember smoking with you and discussing Dali!" I get a sudden sepia image of us blowing smoke and laughing, in the dark. Once again, I am shocked he remembers. We talk during the rest of my shopping trip and we have a growing mutual attraction.

At some point I go off to this outdoors restaurant area, where Mitty is playing cards on one table. I walk to the other end, and I see Father with his friends on a long table, discussing a business deal. I am afraid my dad will see me with this guy. I walk away, and meet up with this guy again. Our feelings are hung in the air, and I walk to say goodbye to him. It's all dark and we're around a foresty edge of an area, lots of people.. Curiously, it kind of resembles GMU woods. I walk down a pathway in the grass, leading to woods. This is where we are supposed to say farewell. I vividly remember a little silence, and then he grips me and kisses me on the forehead, for a rather prolonged period of time. I think it's really sweet, he's holding me as well. He lets go and I look up to him, and he's just smiling, waiting for me to initiate a kiss. I start to head towards his face, when for some reason my dream fast forwards to when the kiss is over. We exchange some kind of contact info, and he's off. I became pretty lucid after the kiss, and I feel liberated enough to do as I please as he's gone (trying not hurt a DC's feelings? What the fah). I fly into the air and swoosh back into the area where family is. I fly around a lot. It's great.

~

It's the fourth of July again. The fireworks are going off, but it's gray and rainy. I'm a little upset at my parents for some reason. It's nighttime, we are all outside somewhere when I saunter off. Fahim may be there. I walk off to a place right next ot the ocean. The water has leaked through the tiny wall. I lay down, right in the water next to the short, thin wall as the water pours. There is a pleasant homeless man right next to me, wearing a raincoat and tiny hat. He's not old, maybe 30's. I'm laying down and I can't move because I get terrified of the water. I feel like I'm going to be swallowed up by the ocean as I lay there, and actually sense myself slowly sliding towards the colossal gray mass of raging water. I fear trying to get up will permanently slide me into it. I wait for my parents to come. My father comes and rescues me, I try to play it off. I talk to him as if nothing's wrong, he gives the homeless man $20. Then he stares at his wallet, at a hundred note, and says..should I give a hundred or twenty? The homeless man looks at us, amused. I say, "Of course a hundred.." I see the bills in front of me, homeless man is grateful. Finally, I say, "Yeah, give me a hand getting up." It is such relief to get up. I look back to where the thin wall is, and I see most of it before me had already been swallowed by the sea. But I'm still holding my father's hand and it feels safe. :')

I'm back in middle school. I see all my friends from there and I'm a little confused because I seem to be able to recall which high schools everyone chose to go to. So I wonder, how is this possible if we're still in middle school? Come to think of it, i kind of remember going to high school..? I dismiss the thought and talk with my old "friends." Suddenly I'm on a bus. The bus is really big and I lay down on a huge seat. It's like one of those travel buses instead of a city bus. I am laying down facing the back right in the front, there is a blanket wrapped around me. I figure I am going to IS 27, but its weird because it's not like a city bus. I'm in a half-way sleep when Felix enters. I'm in a bit of shock, and I only see his back. I can't look at him in the face since I'm supposed to be sleeping! Nevertheless I get a pretty big rush, and stare into his back in slight panic as he puts his stuff down. I cover my face with my blanket a little as he turns around and recognizes me (as I always do when I sleep), but I'm asleep so he doesn't rouse me. I feel around for my metro card in silence but I can't find it, which worries me. What if I have to get up before he leaves? I look a mess (haha). I fall into the halfway sleep again and kind of recall him getting off. As he does, I rush to the bus driver and talk to him about Feef. I ask him to tell me what stop he got off on. I feel content.

The bus gets off in a pretty big parking lot, and I see the Forbes twins. I'm not really sure why we got off in such a place, but I hang around, still happy about glimpsing Feef. The dream has shitty recall at this point..and I remember showing up at school. The cafeteria lady gives me a paper with a key and tells me I've gotten a single at Tidewater (or rather, I read so). This is great news! I exclaim my joy.

So I really want to get back in the hang of things.

I slept for a really long time and have a bit of recall, but not much.

I think I'm back in uni and I'm climbing a building to it's very top. I somehow end up in Felix's room, which is very wide and gray, and well protected. It doesn't seem to have nay door, just a small attic-like entrance on the carpeted floor. It's pretty high up. I walk around, I get a little anxious that Felix might come up here and find me and think I went here intentionally. But then I'm like, no way. Lo and behold, the attic door starts moving, and I see his hands making their way up. I get really panicked and wonder how the hell am I going to explain myself. I make it obvious I'm in there and he stops moving and is like..uhmmmmm..who is this? So I tell him..hehe..it's Rabia..I didn't realize this was your room. I make up some lame excuse and he accepts it with ease. Funny he is not freaked out that I'm in his room. Before he even gets up there, I'm already talking regularly as if nothing happened.

There was another dream I can't remember much in which I spoke to him for a really long time, and discovered that he was actually a really dull person. I remember waking up kind of panicked, and feeling relieved it was just a dream. It was a bad dream, all right.