Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in. My family was there with me, my mom, dad, and brother. It was, once again, the zombie apocalypse. I remember being in my old bedroom with a family member, and them opening the door to check if the coast was clear. They freaked out as they saw a bunch of zombies coming towards the door. If I am not mistaken, through the doorway, I saw that same ponytailed zombie from my last apocalypse dream first before the horde. I went to the door in a panic to shut the zombies out.

Then, we were all packing up to leave, to go somewhere safer. Similar to Fear the Walking Dead, we had a huge boat in the garage we were going to escape on. I was packing my things quickly, trying to only take what I needed, but I was throwing lots of extra things in there; I felt bad leaving anything behind, though I knew I couldn't take everything. I remember putting a lot of clothing in the suitcase.

I then overheard some guys that were doing some landscaping work on our house discussing our boat. I was afraid they were planning to steal it, so I started to frantically hurry my family along in packing up. They didn't seem to get my sense of urgency, but I kept urging anyway. My brother had no clean clothes to pack, so we got his dirty clothes hamper and we started to pack dirty clothes in his room. It didn't matter that they were dirty; we needed to get out of there ASAP.

I wanted to take at least one of our cats. The cats that were there were Pounce (deceased IWL), Ziggy (also deceased IWL), and my current IWL cat, Belle. I wanted it to be Pounce that we took. I saw her sitting under the kitchen table. I pictured myself putting her in my current cat's cage to take her along. For some reason though, we weren't going to take the cats with us.

We then were putting the packed suitcases into the back of the boat, which was now a huge van-like vehicle. In the garage, the landscapers drove by on this huge white cherry-picker-type machine. They said something to us, hi maybe, not sure. But it made me feel more urgent in packing. I stuck my suitcase in the back. All the suitcases fit nicely. I remember someone putting some 12-packs of Coke in the back as well.

I then was getting in the van to sit down. Inside, I saw Jarrod and another person getting things ready to go.

~

I was at the house I grew up in. I was in my room, which was dark save for the closet light. I was lying on the opposite side of the bed from what I normally used to sleep on, and I was giving birth. I was alone. The baby was born, and I cut the cord myself. It was a girl. I then gave birth to many more babies, two who were still-born. The still-born babies didn't seem to bother me, I just knew I had to keep birthing babies. I labored and cut all the cords myself, setting the newborns wrapped up in white blankets on a bedside table. They were all so quiet and sleepy. I had I believe 6 in total, but I kept thinking there were only 5 there. Most were girls and only 2 were boys. The two girls born first I named Alana and Alyssa. I named one of the boys Michael, but I don't think I named the rest.

I then started breastfeeding each baby. I would take them in either the cradle hold or football hold and bring them to my right breast first (the one my daughter IWL preferred). I would them pull my lips over my teeth to simulate some sort of latch? I don't know why I did this, but it made sense in the dream that I had to do it so the baby would latch. The babies succeeded and didn't succeed. There were some attempts that were great, and the baby got some colostrum, and others the babies had trouble latching, but there was never any crying or screaming from them. I remember for one baby, I had to brush my nipple to their cheek so they would root that way to get to the milk. They were all so mild-mannered and sleepy. When I finished the feeds, I would put the babies back onto the bedside table.

I was then explaining to someone in the house that 2 babies were still-born. Again, it didn't seem to bother me, as if it was just a natural thing that happened (which it is, I guess).

I then remember something about a huge dental needle. My mom I think was going to give it to me in my cervix so I'd have more babies. I was done for the day though. I had so many babies to care for already.

I never felt tired or overwhelmed from all the babies either, just a sense of duty and a neutrality that kept me going.

~

This dream was sort of a pick up from the last dream. All the babies were there. I was with my family and some others I believe. Alana was still just a newborn, but she looked like a toddler. She said she wanted to eat some apples and apple juice. She didn't want anything else. I wasn't sure she was old enough for that, but she insisted. I figured I'd get her a bag of pre-sliced apples. Alana looked like she was related to this girl I know IWL, Alicia; she looked like one of her IWL daughters. I believe Alicia was also there.

I then was at the store with my husband, one of my best friends IWL Cherie', and a girl named Meghan that I don't hardly talk to IWL. The store resembled a "super" Kroger that I don't frequent IWL because I don't know where everything is there, as it is so big. I was not shopping with them I don't think, but waiting for them to finish. When they came back to me, I was standing in this lobby-type area on the second floor of the building. Apparently, the grocery store was not the only thing this building had. It was kind of like a huge shopping center with different stores and activities on different levels. They came to me and they hadn't gotten apples or apple juice. They had gotten cheese though, which I thought Alana wanted. I forgot if she wanted cheese, apples, or apple sauce, but I KNEW she wanted apple juice. I got pissed that my husband had picked out all the wrong things. I headed down to go shopping. I had to go down this weird, metal, roller slide thing. If you ever went to Discovery Zone as a child, picture the rolly slide they had there, only silver metal instead of multicolored plastic. There were areas on it that were bigger, darker rollers and you had to do something to put more of your weight down on those, and they would lower you to where you needed to go. I remember sitting on it backwards and not being sure how to trigger the big rollers to let you down. I did it though.

We were then shopping again, and this time, we STILL didn't get apple juice. We walked down the aisles looking and my husband picked out these canned mandarin oranges in a sugary juice. We checked out and I was, once again, so pissed that we still didn't get apple juice. We were on the second floor lobby again, and I asked my husband if he was stupid and went back down to the store with Meghan and Cherie to actually finally get apple juice. We wandered around the store, and I went to the aisles that I thought for sure the apple juice would be on, but nothing. We finally asked an employee, and she pointed down an aisle and told us it was there, and at the end of the aisle. Well, we went down the aisle and it was just these big containers of I think cereal, no juice of any kind. I was getting frustrated and worried about Alana, as she was back home and needed to eat. I came to the end of the aisle, and we were at the back of the store where they keep a lot of cold items in coolers and freezers. I didn't want frozen apple juice, but I didn't know that we had another choice. I opened a cooler and there was unfrozen, refrigerated apple juice in a HUGE container. The container had written on it on the left-hand side: "0% orange juice, 100% apple juice, 0% (some other fruit) juice". I thought about how much juice Alana really needed, and pictured her actual size. She was as tiny as a fairy and was floating around, but still looking and acting like a toddler. She definitely didn't need a lot of juice, but this was the only container I could find, so I put it in the cart and we started heading back to the check out. We ran into a girl I knew when I was going to school named Kris. She and Meghan exchanged a greeting, as they had been best friends apparently at some point. They called each other their apparent old high school nicknames, one had something to do with the name Jasmine. We passed them and went on to this weird, almost blacklight looking area in the store.

We then were at checkout. We were going to this line where you had to get this weird machine with a long cord so people would check you out. There was a big, younger black man there with the machine wrapped around him, which he had apparently broken. The cashiers or someone was getting onto him a little for it.

~

Now THIS is the recall I'm talking about! Hell yeah. I woke from my first dream and immeditely took notes in my phone. The second two I didn't take notes for. Getting that recall back up to par! Yay! Also, the hormones during pregnancy really drive up the vividness factor in my dreams so that is a HUGE plus to being pregnant, you know, besides the obvious growing a new life thing.

Dream - Lucid

I was holding a guitar. Dallas was teaching me how to play it. I had my fingers on the strings, which were going both vertical and horitzontal, like a tic-tac-toe board. He was teaching me how to put my hands on the strings and only strum one at a time, not hitting any others at the same time. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but I did it. I moved my other hand on the neck to produce different notes. It actually sounded good! I played a couple of scales, making the end of the last legato on the last few notes.

I then was approached by a little boy. He was this girl I knew in high school's son, John. He gave me a hug, then, very articulately and adult-like, started to tell me about this video game he played called "Kingdom Health"; I assumed it was more of a Christian version of Kingdom Hearts. He then was telling me how much he loved my recording of Moonlight Sonata Movement III. He said he really liked the one that I had that played backwards. I was thinking about the recordings, and how they weren't that good since I'm not really that good at playing that song all together, only certain sections of it. I was thinking about how the backwards recording sounded, however, and it was quite smooth.

~

I was pushing around these three infants in a shopping cart. I was in a building, though I'm not sure what it was. They were wrapped in blankets. One was a boy and two were girls. I kept thinking about how I needed to change their diapers, particularly the boy's, but I hadn't yet. I reached down to touch the boy's face to make sure he was even still alive. His eyes opened so I knew he was. The weird thing about the babies was they were like "training" babies; it was like a sim game of taking care of babies. I knew they weren't "real", but at the same time, they were.

I kept thinking about this the whole dream, but never doing it. Someone else, a girl, was with me at some point. Also at some point, I was in an arcade.

There was then a point where I didn't know where the babies were anymore. They were gone. I figured they had gotten taken away from me.

~

I was at Dallas and I's wedding, though it was taking place in a beautiful church rather than the place we really did get married. There were many people there. I remember the atmosphere being fun.

At one point, I heard my old friend Josh on speaker phone with my friend Caitlin. He sounded like the Josh I remember (haven't spoken to or seen him in ages IWL). The phone looked more like a small radio than a phone. I then announced to him
"You know you're on speaker phone, right?"
His voice was then replaced with another guy's voice. I don't remember what he said, but he was talking directly to me. I do know it was because Josh didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

A bit later, I thought I spotted Josh at the wedding, but upon further examination, it was an older man. Of course Josh hadn't come for the wedding.

I then was having a good time in the sanctuary of the church with my family and friends, and I became lucid. I started to walk to the side of a table, like the gravity was switched and I was standing up sideways, but I quickly woke up right after. -_-;

~

I was with my friends Rachel and Chad, a married couple. They were playing piano duets, Chad playing the left hand part and Rachel playing the right. I didn't even know they knew how to play piano! I saw the music going by as they were playing. The right hand looked complicated. The song was in a minor key. I think I wanted Dallas and I to be able to do it too.

Then it was like I was controlling a Sims game. I made my character have this glitched black doberman looking dog. He kept getting bigger and bigger. I then put my character in fish net tights, a shirt, and I think a skirt? And my character was a middle-aged balding guy. I made his thighs get bigger too. He looked ridiculous.

I was making my character walk around at night outside. The viewpoint was not a traditional Sims overhead view, but a closer view similar to that of many FPS games. There was an NPC at the backdoor of a building trying to deliver a package. I made my character go up to him to tell him he had to go around front. He did just that.

I then wanted to take my character downtown to go party all night. I looked at his needs bars, and saw that all but one were completely full and green, with the one not being completely full just a tad bit drained. I just had wanted to make sure his energy was up, but since I had just created him he was full. I then made him start to run through some grass towards downtown. The character was taking huge steps because he had long legs. I then was the character, and I felt myself running and taking these giant steps.

~

I was at work at the bakery. A girl I used to work with at the coffee shop, Virginia, was working on the decorator's side. She was helping a customer with something. I was feeling very lightheaded and tired. I walked around to the back. I think I was eating something and trying not to get seen. I then was trying to exit the dish washing area, and I started to feel so tired and lightheaded I fell to the floor. Wow, why was I feeling so off?

I then realized that I was dreaming. The tiles on the floor instantly became more vivid, being a light olive green color and a light pink color. Almost as quickly as it came, however, I felt it fading. I rubbed my hand across the tiles to stabalize the dream. They felt quite real. I then started to run my hand over the wall, and it felt like only pressure on my hand. I got up off of the floor and started touching everything I came across. There was some black metal grating over this small electronic thing that looked like a digital thermostat or something. I ran my hands over it and felt how realistic it was. I then reached into the grating and pushed a button on the thing. It was locked with a code, and the small screen said something like "Cal9". I thought about how dream text constantly changes.

Spoiler for Explicit content:

I then walked out of the bakery and into a new area. I was in some restaurant-type place now where many people were sitting in booths. I decided that I wanted to have some dream sex, so I approached a tall bald black man with a mustache who was sitting at the booth. He had a child of about 4 with him, a little boy. I straddled the guy, and he said
"Do you think gay people ever come here?"
I understood that to mean that he was gay and uninterested, so I moved on to the person sitting behind him in a booth, a girl probably around my age or a little younger with long black hair. She looked up at me and I went and straddled her. I lifted my shirt up and exposed myself. I then couldn't hold it in anymore and had an orgasm, which, of course, woke me up.

~

My sleep was fragmented last night, so I don't feel like I remember as much as I could have. I know there was more to all of these dreams except the last one, but I can't recall too many details, only generalities. I have been quite stressed lately, so I'm guessing that has something to do with it.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, but my mom was working there too. She had been there longer than me. In fact, she was one of my bosses. We were getting a corporate visit that day, and everything had to be perfect.

When I got there, I was quickly told what to do by another boss, a woman. Then, I was left on my own without a clue as to what needed to get done. She had spoken so fast, I couldn't keep up, and I was still fairly new, so I didn't understand the priorities like they did.

I looked at all the projects around me, and started on one of them. I was making these animal models out of some kind of dough, like a sugar cookie dough, and putting them on a pan. There were bright, neon colored icings there as well. I did some normal cookies as well, because I was pretty sure that's what I needed to do. I "remembered" seeing animal cookies and regular ones before, at least I thought I did.

I did a few of those, but went on to do something else. There was some pink, Lego-like model of a castle that needed to be put together for display purposes, but I didn't think that was a priority since it wasn't edible.

I then had to go to lunch. I was with my friend Charles for lunch. We were in the break room, which was dark. When my hour was up, I realized I had forgotten to punch out for lunch. Shit. I couldn't think of what to do.

I was then back in the bakery, and my mom was there, freaking out, saying I should have done the Lego thing first, and that I wasn't supposed to make the dough into animals. I was supposed to make the dough into tight spirals with the frosting in it. I started to do that. I "remembered " that an old work friend, Shelley, had done the animals when she worked there. She had posted pics of her with them on Facebook. The animals were actually just a seasonal thing.

The corporate visitor then came, and was walking around with my mom, giving disapproving looks and saying things weren't right. Ugh. I knew I would be in trouble for it all, too.

When the visitor left, my mom came up to me, and I started to cry because I was so frustrated and upset. I was afraid I'd get fired. My mom was sitting down at a table and mocking me as I cried. She would copy me in a childish voice. That made me even more upset.

~

Again, I was at work, but it was a mixture between my current job at the bakery and my last job at Kohl's. I was in the bakery, but I felt like it was still Kohl's. I wondered why they had rehired me. I heard people talking about it, and they said it was because they really needed the help.

I was working on something with one of my current managers, Will. I worked with him the whole time. He was very positive and uplifting, unlike the last dream where my mom was freaking out and mocking me.

It was then close to the end of my shift. I needed to go get some new white note cards; I had just bought some, and they were all browning on the edges, as if they were old and dirty. I think I was going to do this with Mary Katherine. We had discussed that at the end of my shift, at 5:30, we would go.

I then was in a freezer at work, though it did not look at all like the freezer we have IWL. It was smaller, boxier. I went in and shut the door. It was cold, but so quiet; it was surprisingly peaceful in there, probably because when the door shuts, it locks and seals to keep any outside air out. I really liked it; it shut out all the noise. I had to go back out though.

I went back into the freezer soon after, and thought it would be a good idea to meditate in there. I shut the door and started to begin my thought process on meditation, but someone opened the door. I figured I probably didn't need to be in there meditating anyway since I was at work.

Then, I was done with my shift. Dallas had texted me to ask me if I wanted to meet up with him at 5:30. I couldn't, because I was meeting up with Mary Katherine. I can't remember whether or not I told him this, but I know I thought about doing so.

I was walking around a lobby area that looked more like Kohl's than the bakery. There were a few babies crawling around on the floor. I said hello to one, a red-headed baby boy. He said hello back to me. He didn't sound like a baby, but more like an older child. I knew this was a special child. I "remembered" him being there all the time. I said hello to a couple of other babies too.

I was then talking to my friend, Ashley. I was trying to explain something to her, a way I believed I think, and she countered me by saying I needed to adjust my views. She then referred to two other girls that were there. They were sisters. She said it was ok for them to think that way, because they had it hard when they were children, but it isn't ok for me to think that way because I didn't. One of the girls, a bigger girl with long, wavy dark hair who was working behind a counter, nodded in agreement. I saw the girls' mother there as well. It upset me a bit that Ashley had said that to me. I thought that maybe, in a way, she was right, though.

Then, I was outside sitting on a bench. It was nighttime. I feel like there may have been snow. Amy Z., the mother of one of my childhood friends, approached me with a baby, and said I needed to meet him. She held him up to me, and I said hello to the baby. He said hello back. She tried to give him to me, but I said
"I actually have to be somewhere." She took the baby away.

I was then with Ashley again, somewhere by the freezer. She was saying something to me about the freezer, something about making snowballs or snowmen out of the snow that would collect on the floor. I still had some feelings of anger towards her for what she had said to me. I thought about not replying to her when she spoke to me. I don't remember if I actually did or not.

Then, I saw some weird images that were supposed to be the freezer, but it looked like a 2D game of Tetris. There were different settings that could be turned on and off, and some went on a timer, like a deep freeze kind of thing that would cause it to snow inside the freezer by blowing frigid air. A drill came through the floor at one point, ending the game. Maybe it was on a time limit? There was a voice speaking about it, but I can't remember what it said.