Roses

(i wrote this two days ago -march 30, 2011- on an e-mail to a someone, so i'll just copy and past what i wrote onto here...)

i had another nightmare with the nap i took earlier ...
it was so bad that i woke up screaming (literally) and i jumped half up on the bed throwing the cover off of me...
i usually don't wake up screaming , that's only happen about 2 maybe 3 times..
so in my "dream" , i'm falling... off a building , i'm free falling down, down, down, everything is dark around me,
all a sudden i realize i'm dreaming , but i can't take control of it.. instead of 3rd person vision, i have 1st person ... so it feels more real
i can feel the wind against my skin, i can feel my heart pounding out of my chest, i look into the sky, it was so graphic... so vivid, every detail ,
the way the clouds parted and this big ball of yellow light shined down.. and a hugeeeeee ray of light light up that part of the sky ,,
but it got dark again.. the clouds closed ,,... all i see is dark , then.. it happen again , sleep paralysis , i see someone next to me ,
long arms, no face, but it made really ugly sounds i don't even know how to describe it ?
i said a phrase inside my mind , and it only made the 'thing' worse .. i felt something pull me so hard from my arm ,
i almost felt like i was going to fall off the bed .. that's when i got mad , real mad and woke up screaming and jumping up...
it bothered me for a little while , but i just shrugged it off and took a shower..

When I woke up from a nap this afternoon I was in that half awake / half asleep zone... (sleep paralysis)
I started to feel these hands touching my body, I'm not even sure they were in the "shape" of hands , but
I could feel some kind of energy rubbing on me and touching me.
I felt something hold my shoulders down, I felt something else start to touch my breast...and then I felt something
scratching at my thighs....... all at the same time... I started to feel very VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.. In my head ,
I recognized what I was going through was just sleep paralysis, even still though I got this wave of anger all of a sudden
I felt a hand reach for my hand and squeezed mine really hard..
This is when I was able to shift my eyes to the left to look to the side of me and I saw the face of what looked like a blob of energy of dark green and black ,
but then I saw this shape take form and it looked like this animal here

In my head I started to pray (it was comforting at the time for me to do this) ... I prayed and prayed , but it didn't go away , until the 3rd prayer ..
everything stopped and I snapped out of that zone I was in and I "fully" woke up.......
This is about the 4th time or so that I see an entity that looks just like that (demon hound)
Other times I've heard it growl and other times I've felt like I was being bitten on my ribs..... over and over...
When I "fully" woke up I felt really uncomfortable and violated....
It felt all so real, I could literally feel all this .. and actually "see" it...
It probably didn't even last longer than 30 seconds, but at the time, it felt like forever.

I don't even know where to begin, this has never happen to me before, not like this.... ! It was SO CRAZY .. !

I am in a dream , sleeping .. dreaming .. turns into a nightmare , I am in this group of people going to meet the devil , but in my dream I kept referring to him as Lucifer.
I look into the sky and there are minions flying everywhere spitting out fire balls on the ground...



I look at the center of the field and I see this "Lucifer" being ,,
he's dark purple in color , long black horns ,, has hooves for feet ...



and in an instant everyone around me dies when he snaps his fingers they all burst into fire
and die...



I am standing alone ,, looking around at the floor ...dead bodies everywhere... Lucifer tries to take me... reaching his hand out for me,, but I don't want to go ! I won't go!



So I'm in this dream/nightmare, but I start having conscious thoughts like when you're awake and can talk to yourself inside your mind .. I was able to do this in my dream , becoming "Lucid"
and can hear a small voice inside me saying , "Don't panic, but.. get out of here now!!" I push off the ground and start to fly !



I am then taken to so many beautiful scenaries , but the scene keeps changing ... fast ! I'm in one place, then another, then another ! All so beautiful !! So CAPTIVATING !
I saw this ocean surrounded by beautiful mountains it was breath taking , I could feel myself getting too excited , I started to fly , faster .. faster and faster !



Then ,, I started losing control of the dream a lil bit...

I could feel my heart beat start to race really really fast ,, complete and total adrenaline rush !! I don't know if I just had the sensation of that in the dream or if that was happening in real time, real life...
but however, just to be safe I still I thought to myself "I have to go back I don't want to give myself a heart attack in my sleep?!"



I can feel I'm flying still (in the dream) , then all a sudden I'm in 2 places at once .. this lucid dream ,, then I can feel myself laying on my bed asleep at the same time!



Then those visuals of flying come to an end , everything changes...



My whole room becomes dark , (by the way my eyes are still closed , but I can still see everything with my minds eye I guess they call it )..



So... my bed starts spinning and sinking simultaneously .. !!
All I begin to see is me sinking further and further into my bed, like free falling down...down...down... it seemed to never stop,, I don't know if I was excited or scared, I think a little of both !



Either-way I was getting nervous cause it felt like I was about to black out and I was afraid of where this next dream would take me ,, so I finally snap out of it and I make myself
wake up in the physical world....



I still have that vision in my head, the visuals were just WOW intense & mind-blowing ,, it was all so detailed, so vivid, sinking in the bed, so graphic , it's like my bed was melting into the ground ,
I was still me I was able to have my conscious thoughts it was I guess a type of sleep paralysis , asleep , but awake at same time...

I hadn't had a crazy dream experience in about a month and a half, I thought maybe all of it stopped , but I guess not.. this experience though , which was a lil terrifying ,
was still kinda cool .. I think ..