Sleep as a Hobby

I saw my fear of going to university... Not making any friends OTL.
It is for the first year students. For the first two weeks, we were familiarize ourself to university by
routinely doing things as a group (eating luch, going around classes like a pre school student)
(chicks following a duck)
As I pass a classroom, I spoted one of my best friend. She was focused on her studying.
At a lunch time. 1st year student had to eat lunch in this very dark and deep pit-hole looking tower
(That seems to have no end to it) I didn't realize it was a prank, so me and my other friends
sat in one of the brightest looking spot... As I was eating rice... I got scared of the pit hole ...
It looked like a hell's gate... warm, moist filled air swooped with some disgusting smell of garbages...
It was just ... unpleasant.
I kept on shaking on my chopstick and end of spreading all my rice on everywhere, including on my friends' lap...
They got sick of it... and try not to talk to me afterward... (made me feel abandoned... behind a group)

As I reflecting on my dream, I realize it was a fear I have, going to university... where I do no know anyone.
That fear allows me to avoid anything involving the university (making a timetable... keeping a deadline)
It's also one of my biggest stress... which makes me even hard to LD.

"You need to be awake in a real life, to be awake in your sleep."

I need to face this fear for my sake to have a nice LD.

I found this beautiful dream in Korean.... So I'm translating this right here ^_^

The air was crispy clear,
I was flying sky high like a free bird.
Floating with fluffy clouds,
A blue light shot from the ground.

A pub with a cowboy atmosphere,
I looked around to see an old man and a devil;
Pointy ears and pointy teeth.

They were casually talking and drinking,
Like old friends.

I had a sudden feeling that
They might solve a question I longed to figure.

I made my mind and approached to a devil.
The devil stared at me; a passionate red light embracing me.
The devil opened his mouth and spoke;

“Do not try to find meaning in your life.
Meaning generates infinite riddles with no answers.
You have a heart; do what you ‘feel’ like.
That is a sole purpose, a duty in your life.”

It is the devil’s advice,
Unreasonable offence engulfed the wisdom.
I talked to the old man, watching;
The old man stared at me; a knowledgeable purple light embracing me.
The old man opened his mouth and spoke;

“What are you worrying about?
Act as you feel like,
Do not worry about the result ahead.
Reflect once you get there.
You are the one who perceive with action.”

I take a memo of their wisdom,
An answer might have stayed within my deep conscious.
It was a good dream.


Comment:
Dreams reflect our subconscious; results of the same dream can be completely deferred by situation and a person. It needs intuition and a conscious trust to interpret them.
Flying the sky is the new start with new vision. The blue light shot from the ground forced ‘me’ to face the reality; the pub.
The old man and the devil talking is a coexistence of emotion and wisdom.
The old man is wisdom and intelligence, a devil is a repulsive resistance against reality.
The red light is passion. The devil’s talk is not a belief or a notion, but chants for exposing an emotion, a life and a red passion. The purple light is wisdom, urging ‘me’ to focus on the action more than a mere thought.

I still clearly remember a nightmare
I had at the age of seven.

A dusty basement surrounded with gray walls.
A very old wooden chair; making a creaking sound,
Stood alone in the middle of a barren room.

There was a little bar at a ceiling,
Showing a handful of light,
Strangely lighting the raggedy old chair
Like a spot light.

I was at the corner of the dark room, crouching.
Watching the whole scene without motion.

A gust of dry wind gave me goose bumps.
I felt loneliness, sadness
In a queerly jailed like space.

I was… … crying.


The dream was not scary, but my mother told me I was shouting…
I stated the dream as a nightmare for tears. But it still makes me wonder…
Why did I cry?