Xanous' Dream Journal

WBTB @ 3:30AM 30min looking at Angel Falls picture.
MILD - Imagained a OBE like dream since I was well aware of myself in bed
Son yelled out and disturbed me briefly but he went back to sleep.
I rolled from back to right side and switched to WILD
WILD - Visualized a simple repetitive hand motion. This time it was arm flapping.

Angel Falls TOTY 4:56AM

I can't remember the first part of this but I don't think I missed much. Or maybe this is simply how the dream started.I am standing in my front yard just off the poarch. The dream feels dark and unstable. I have a hard time seeing. I get the weird eye opening thing again and I think I see the bedroom. I calmly close them and focus on seeing on the back of my eyelids. This seems to help. I can see the yard but it is really dark and unstable still. I hear a noise and I begin to listen. It is the fan in my room. This is no good. I remember a funny post of DarkMatters where he is basically telling someone to make out with the dream to stabilize. I laugh a little and throw myself face first on the ground.

I start licking the sidewalk that leads from the street. I can feel the rough texture on my tongue. I am a little grossed out at how real it feels but I take this as a good thing. I go for more and I reach both hands out to feel the grass on both sides of the concrete. I grope and rub and feel and really make love to the dream. All of this helps a lot and I didn't even have to buy diner first.

I get on my hands and knees and crawl around some. I see a small tree that is about 4 to 5 inches thick. For some reason I think "beaver" and I bite into the tree. It is soft but crisp like a peach. I note the taste but it is bland. I break the tree off and carry a chunk with me while I walk around the neighborhood. I continue to bite and chew as I do so. The sensation really helps stabilize the dream. I notice how I never seem to have to swallow. The tree just melts away in my mouth to nothing.

I walk north a ways but feel bored. I think trying to travel at this point would really risk destabilizing the dream. Angle Falls will have to wait. I head back toward my house. I think maybe I will break into my neighbors house and see what I find. I begin to look for it but all the houses start morphing and changing into larger newer homes until I am not in my neighborhood anymore. I stop and stop a house that looks interesting to burglarize. I stare at the rooftop and I am about to make a leap but the dream gets wavy so I wait for it. Then, for some reason, I feel compelled to turn around. It was like could sense someone was starting at me.

I see an old 70's model Ford truck parked in the street and a familiar looking young man in the driver seat. He is just looking at me expectantly. When I approach the vehicle he wordless moves over to the passenger side. I am surprised, "Oh you're going to let me drive?" I hop in.

like this but tan color


I tightly grip the steering wheel with both hands and floor it. I hear the tires break loose. I smile with excitement. The man next to me protests and says something about slowing down but I ignore him. I punch the gas harder. We make several turns and end up on a highway. I begin talking to him. I say, "You know what man? This is a dream. Do you know that? You're not even real to me right now."

He looks really nervous and mutters, "Yeah, I guess so."

I look him over again and realize that he looks just like LinkZelda. "Hey you're LinkZelda aren't you?" (I think, say yes)

He's holding on to the o'shit handle. "Um I don't know."

I am insistent that he remembers, "Yeah man. You get on dream views. We've talked a few times. Hey you know what? What if we are having a shared dream and you just aren't lucid yet? How cool would that be? Here's what I want you to do. When you wake up try to remember as much as you can about this ok? I mean you never know, right?" I start laughing like a lunatic and slap him on the knee. He seems totally put off. I just can't help myself I feel so energetic and happy.

I look away at the road. I continue to stabilize visually. I don't look at him this time when I talk. I feel like I can't contain myself. I yell, "HOLY SHIT! I EFFING LOVE THIS. WE ARE TOTALLY DREAMING RIGHT NOW! WHOOOOOHOOOOOO! I am a little afraid that my loud yelling will somehow wake me up so I stop myself.

I look back at him to see his reaction. The passenger side is totally empty. "Dammit he's gone!" I laugh and shrug it off. I begin to think about getting to Angel Falls now. I look around and it has turned bright outside. I am on some road and I see that I am at the base of what looks like Angel Falls. I look up to see the top but there is a thick mist hiding it from view. I feel like its time to get risky now. I know from past experience that I will have a hard time getting through that fog. I really don't want to end up someplace else; or worse, waking up. "Ah screw it." I phase out of the cab of the truck and fly up.

When I reach the fog I stop. It looks like a thick and opaque object. I push my head in but I am engulfed in white with nothing to visually ground myself to. I fear the dream will dissolve so I back out. Instead I throw myself to the rock face and begin to climb up. I focus visually and tactilely on the rocks. The climb is easy. I imagine comfortable hand holds as I go along and the dream obliges. After a while I decide I am nearly there. Just then, I see the top. I climb over the edge but when I stand up. It is dark again.

I look around and I see a small flat screen TV floating just above eye level and a soda machine to the right of it. I hear some random woman giving a newscast but pay no attention to the words. Its just muffled muttering. The soda machine is an Orange Sunkist machine. It is brightly lit in the darkness. I have a feeling of being in a building. I felt like I had gone to "The Bridge" (A place in my town with fake rock climbing). No this wont do. I push the enclosed feeling away from my mind.



I realize I am on a small platform. I lay down and peek over the side. All I can see is darkness at first but I focus and everything clears up. It still looks like night time but I can see that I am indeed on top of Angel Falls. I see the small white line of the river far below reflecting moonlight and water is gushing out the side of the cliff.



I push forward and fall head first. I flip around so that I am on my back. I feel weightless and light. I look around and see the water falling with me to my right. It looks like it is frozen in time but I assume we are just falling at the same rate. I reach out to feel it but I only get a mild sensation on my hand. The I hear the sound of diving into water and as I suddenly slash into it. I look around. There is light but all I see is just slightly brown river water with nothing around me. I reflexively close my eyes.

When I open then I am laying on my stomach. I can see river rocks and realize I am lying in a shallow side stream. I feel completely wet. I stand up and walk forward. I am now in some small building. Again I see the TV and the Sunkist machine to the right of it. This time there is wall behind them. I hear the same woman say, "...Here in Venezuela..." I listen closer now. "T is for Turkey." I laugh and move on.

I look around and notice the building is mostly huge glass windows, like some sort of zoo or nature center. I can see lush jungle outside. There is water from the water fall creating rain outside. I can even hear it hitting the roof of the building. I see an enclosed glass area with what looks like some sort of tiger/panther hybrid cubs. I open the glass door and reach in to pet one. They all look content and sleepy. Suddenly one of then grows large and snaps at my hand. It lets out a feline growl. I laugh and say, "Ok. I'll leave."

I feel pretty content that I completed a TOTY and am not sure what to do now. I begin to think how long this dream has lasted and how much happened. I begin to worry that I will forget. I think I should make myself wake up soon but I really don't want it to end. I wait a little longer.

I step outside and see that I am in some sort of gravel parking area. There are a few cars but no people. I can see a thick wall of jungle surrounding the area. I feel triumphant and powerful and I get the sudden urge to become a werewolf. I stretch my skin and feel myself change. I can see my shadow on the ground in front of me and watch as I transform. I look at my hands and notice that I have hairy werewolf claws and fur. I let out a howl. It sounds a little weak and unconvincing. I try again. This time it is a long and clear WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A part of me thinks I am making a noise in my sleep. Then I remember. I really should wake up. And this seems like a good way go out of the dream.

With some great effort I manage to open my physical eyes and fully wake from the dream.

#129 There Is No Wall WILD

I am deep into HI/HH. For some reason I remember how CanisLucidus likes to sleep on his stomach. "I hear him say have you ever tried it on your stomach?" My dream self rolls over halfway on my stomach. I can feel the blanket over my face and I begin to feel strange whirling spinning sensations. I was amazed how much better a WILD attempt this was. I focus on the sensations for a few seconds. (I didn't notice until later that I felt zero vibrations like I usually do. I am actually glad that this didn't throw me. Never give too much attention to the noise. Passively monitor it.)

Then I feel my wife in bed poking my ribs and telling me to wake up. I try to ignore her. But she keeps doing it. I say to her, "Stop it pleeeease! I am trying to have a lucid dream and you are waking me up."

I never open my eyes but I roll over to my back. She is still moving the bed around and saying to wake up. I realize this probably not really happening. I tell myself over and over that she is not real. I decide that I just need to get out of here. I can still feel a slight grip from the sleep paralysis making me move slow and awkward. But I manage to stand up without too much trouble.

It's dark in the room but I manage to see my hands clearly. I open the bedroom door and find myself in a long hallway. The dream is still blurry and insubstantial but I realize this is not my house. Something reminds me of my ex in-law's house. I begin to believe that's were I am. The dream comes together now and that exactly where I am. I make it to the living room and pause for a second. I think, "If this is their house then which wife is in the bed? Past or present?" I decide that I really don't want to know or want to be here so I continue out the front door.

It is really dark outside. I think the only way out of here is to just fly away. I see the sun coming up the west. I find that slightly funny as I start to fly up. Then, I get lost in the void and feel the dream breaking up. I decide to just go back to the ground and stay inside. For some reason the dream wants me here.

I go back inside and visually stabilize myself. I wonder around the living feeling slightly triumphant. I think, "Haha bitches I'm in your house and your not even here!" I explore the house some and realize there is very little clutter or furniture. Every thing looks spacious and organized. I see a small white wooden door with no knob in a random spot on the wall. I use expectation to make it open to some place else. Nope. It's a small closet with a water heater.

I walk around the wall into the kitchen and then back into the living room. I see a clear spot on the wall separating the living room and kitchen. I think maybe I can draw a doorway with my fingers to get out of here. I make a motion with both fingers at the top but realize my hands phased into it. HA phasing! I think about reaching past the wall into the space beyond. My hands pass through fine so I thrust myself into it. My arms get softly stuck at the elbows. I pull back and stare at the wall. I say, "There is no wall. There is no wall." I really focus on believing it. I think about the space beyond the wall again as I jump forward. I feel a slight sensation like a cool mist of water pass over me. I feel grounded on the other side but all I can see is the color of the wall. I think about the other side and what it should look like. The dream stabilizes.

I look around the kitchen/dining room and see the back door. I really want out of this house! I have TOTY on my mind and want to move on. I can see the door is open but the screen is closed. I can see outside and it is total darkness. I feel really confident from phasing and decide to take a risk. Without thinking things through I rush forward flying head first into the door and throwing it off its hinges into the darkness. I say,"This leads to another planet!" (why?)

I am now engulfed in the void. I feel spinning sensations. I relax myself like in any other DEILD and try to focus on seeing something. I think about the Colosseum a bit while I wait. After a while I wake up.

Bedtime - shoot for 9:30PM
Pre-Bed 5MG Melatonin
WBTB 1:15AM
Took supplements set out on bed side table. I wanted to avoid getting out of bed but I had to pee. Then back to bed.
4MG Galantamine
500MG Choline
600MG GPC
approx. .375MG melatonin

I fall straight back to sleep.
*many interruptions*
At about 3:00AM I begrudgingly take 1MG melatonin. That seems to get my drowsy enough. But unfortunately the visual quality was poor and the dreams fragmented. I think it was probably because of the melatonin. Still, I enjoyed some nice but short lucids but the joy was sucked away from all the trouble I had. Maybe, I was expecting too much and maybe I was just thoughtfully pissed off by now.

Gladiator - TOTY (fail)- WILD - around 4AM

I am laying still for a WILD. I begin to 'ohm' meditate but the sound is internal. I experience strong HH/HI. My head is buzzing. There is something in my mouth. It feels like a flat disc that is vibrating. Then, I see I am bitting onto a pink tab on the end of a womans white bath robe. The woman who is wearing the robe is busy doing something. She is sitting on the edge of a tub, starting her bath. She does not seem to notice me and pulls my head along this way and that. I realize what is happening and I come to slightly more awake.

That was unpleasant so I try something else. I go back to "ooooooohm". It quieting my internal chatter. I begin to visualize my own right hand holding a Gladius. Soon it becomes very vivid. I repeat a sideway slash over and over. Soon it becomes more natural to swing up and down in a tomahawk chopping action. I am in the dark void and I can vividly see the hilt of the sword with a brass ball at the end. It is not shiny and smooth but pock marked and dull from heavy use. I can't see the blade because it is more above my head. (Thank you, CanisLucidus for the sword idea!)



I begin to hear things. A solider shouts something in another language. It sounds like he is gruffly barking orders. Then I hear a pounding noise. It sounds a deep drum beat and people stomping all in unison to my over-head-chopping. Each downward slice is a beat. Boom... Boom... Boom... I remain calm and relax more.

Again I vividly hear the solider shouting orders. I am reminded of soldiers in formation for battle but I think, "No. I am in a Colosseum. I am fighting one man." I think maybe those in charge are just getting things ready and that's who I hear.

Now, along with the drum beat and foot stopping, I hear a very large crowd get excited and cheer. It sounds like thousands of people.

I don't over think things here but I just expect to see a Colosseum now. I had prepared before hand how I was going to visualize this. I thought of a simple geometric shape as a building block for the dream scene. I visualize this now. It was a simple curved line to form a wall in front of me like a half circle. Like looking across to the other end of a stadium.



The darkness parts in the middle of my vision like a curtain. My vision is very blurry but I can see enough. The sun is high in mid day. There ground is brown dirt and scattered gravel. Still the crowd is in an uproar. The booming may have stopped I am not sure. I continue my chopping action.

Soon a a figure materializes before me. Still blurry but I see a man that looks a lot like The Prince of Persia.



He wastes no time. He jumps in the air does a downward diagonal slash with his Scimitar. I reflexively put my Gladius up and deftly parry the blow. The impact sends a shock up my arm and startles me. I feel my entire physical body jerk and the scene colapses.


I try to go back in oooohming and chopping but I just can manage. I feel wakeful once more.

Eventually I give up on it all.

OBE DEILD Chains. Time unknown

I barely remember feeling vibrations but I am fooled by a false awakening. I am lying on the floor next to the recliner. There is someone in the recliner who looks a lot like me but I pay no attention. The room and floor is bright white light. It was a lot like the loading area on the Matrix. I feel pissed that I missed the vibrations and think that I did not try. "I really should have tried." I relax and do an in dream WILD. I mantra, "I am dreaming."

In a few seconds I am in the recliner with Vibrations. I float of of my chair. The room is dark (as in RL) and the dream feels really unstable. I feel wobbly and drunk. I try something that I read about. I imagine my feet becoming roots deep into the floor. I can feel my feet fusing down solid. Then I realized there was something I was supposed to do with my hands. I forget so I start rubbing them. I can vivid see the detail of the hard wood floor and the window to the front porch. There is a blue light coming in from a street lamp. I focus visually on this (Actually the visuals was really nice here now that I think about) I start to feel like a tree. I feel like I am growing and stretching. My feet come off the floor. I begin to destabilize. I feel like I was trying too hard or was thinking too much.
I go back to SP.

This time wait but I try to open my eyes. My real eyes pop open. I DEILD with mantra, "I am dreaming."

Back to SP in the recliner. This time I am scared to open my eyes. I feel my way outside onto the front porch. I realize now that the sound from the central unit was completely gone. This made me briefly wonder if I was sleep walking. I realize that I am just really deeply dreaming and feel content with that. I feel along the exterior wall of the house. I brush the screen of a window and realize that was my sons room. I withdraw my hand and tense up thinking I woke him up. I quickly realize this was silly. I turn toward the road and try to open my eyes to see. I open my real eyes and wake up.

I am able to dose off a bit before the alarm clock but I don't recall any more dreams. The clock got me.