non-lucid

uhm. apologies in advance for what will surely be a truly enormous post. I'm recalling so much, wooo. In fact you know what Imma use spoilers. That'd be cool. hoo yeah.

Important Note
When I woke up I found myself going over the dreams I had, and then I had a sudden flash of realization: remembering all my dreams was what I was SUPPOSED to do! It was an odd feeling, because generally the part of my brain trying to recall and record my dreams, and the part of my brain that stores the memories, are painfully separate. I'll recall pieces of dreams at random throughout the day and think on them as if it were perfectly normal, and then, almost in the same train of thought, be wondering "what did I dream about last night?" Same thing happens in the morning, where I'll idly think on my dreams, and then the moment I start to get up, I remember my intent to write dreams down, but I've already half-forgotten everything. But this time I connected the two! Or something! I don't really know how it works!

Dream 1 - My First Job ?? 8D

Spoiler for In which I land the first job I've ever had in my life and it is in a fancy place:

So, I dreamed that I got a job for the first time in my life, thanks to some dude (maybe my old bus driver?). I remember being sort of surprised and nervous about the fact that I had, indeed, got the job; it was one of the first things that happened. The setting was a very luxurious ... entertainment something-or-other, maybe a restaurant or maybe a theme park or some combination thereof. It was entirely indoor, climate-controlled, with a great deal of plant life all around, dim lighting, water fountains, marble, the whole shebang. Sort of a cross between a bio-lab in Planetside 2 and a fancy hotel lobby.

I didn't get to explore it very much though. I presented myself near the front, was admitted, had to put on a cloth bracelet thing that said "BugGirl" (my old name) in blocky embroidery (... it's a certain type of bracelet iwl but idk what it's called), had to do something else for further identification and to make sure I wasn't fired, and then went towards my designated area, where another employee, a girl around my age but probably older, was gonna show me the ropes. I remember that the bracelet had a surprising amount of detail: it really did say BugGirl and I could read it plain as day, see the shape of the letters and everything.

So the girl explained things and then I was off and rolling on my own. The pattern of things wasn't too bad; I remember coming back into work maybe once or twice, and having to re-don the bracelet and other identification, but the dream never actually left the original setting. It was just sort of implied that I'd left and returned. And after my original new-job-jitters I got the hang of things. Woo!

I don't recall what my actual duties were. I do remember a fragment where I climbed a ladder close by where I was assigned, and another where I had to know something about a certain (or some certain?) African American figures in history, such as Sojourner Truth, but I'm not sure why I had to. Also I may have befriended an employee, or that may have been a false memory from the last dream. HMM.

Dream 2 - Coming up with names that sum up what the thing is is difficult

Spoiler for In which I advise a squirrel general to throw away his army against a fearful opponent:

This may have happened before Dream 1 but I'm fairly sure it happened after. But not totally sure.

I dreamed that I was inspiring a Redwall squirrel to throw his Age of Empire-esque units against a truly fearful opponent. I'm not sure why I did this; he was probably screwed.

There's something else I need to remember. I think the squirrel and I may have been friends. We had a conversation outside of me trying to make him attack an enemy he couldn't handle. I'm not sure what we talked about.

There were two different situations in which I got the squirrel-general to rush the fearful opponent (concerning whom I wish to recall more, get on that brain). The first was, the squirrel general and his army were on a bridge in front of a tower, which the fearful opponent inhabited with his own army. I advised him (or half-forced him) into moving his units forward to attack, at which point enemy units came flooding from the tower, with the fearful opponent in the lead. I'm pretty sure we didn't last long. He may have had an elephant or so, and they may have been flying.

There was another situation, and this time we were in a forest. I believe I convinced him again to attack the opponent, and this time we may have all been captured. I recall being rather unconcerned by this, which made sense. After all, I was the one who'd been convincing him to throw his units at an unbeatable force, knowing full well the most likely result, so I was expecting and even intending such an outcome. I'm not sure why though.

Details remain evasive. We may have been held captive high in the trees. I don't recall whether ... contact was made ... with the fearful opponent directly, such as a conversation. I get the feeling it's distinctly possible, but recollection remains low. I wish I remembered more. I'm pretty sure this was a more interesting dream than I'm able to give it credit.

Dream 3 - 7-11 and Andrew and Junk Food

Spoiler for In which I buy things from 7-11 and have a generally good time:

I almost feel like I'm skipping something, but oh well. In this dream, I lived within walking distance of a 7-11, which I frequently visited, spending my boyfriend's money in the process (with his permission of course). He had a tendency to be there already, asleep in the clothing aisle, and I'd just have to walk over, wake him up, and ask for cash. For the most part, I would then spend this money on necessary food items, which may have been something I did early on in this dream, or during the first half. The timing is sort of confused.

The first half, I believe, involved myself proceeding along those sorts of lines, and also observing as a family with two moms and a few kids perused the aisles. One rather young kid boy child thing seemed to really want junk food, and one mom seemed to really need comfort food that was also junk food. Hm.

During the second half, I found myself wandering the 7-11 idly considering the wares, and gradually coming to the conclusion that I wanted to use Andrew's money to buy myself as many treats and sweets as I could afford. The idea was that he'd given me a $20 to buy something that was actually food, and now there was about $15 or more left over. I figured he wouldn't mind me spending it on 7-11 things, even if those things were just a whole bunch of junk food. I think I may have left that money at home, though. When I checked my pocket, I really only had $2. Also, when I went to ask him, I couldn't find him, and the clothing aisle he was usually in had been replaced by a single display of clothing items.

I remember specifically picking up a bag of smarties as something that I would definitely want, which feels good. In some dreams, my decisions feel arbitrary or determined by the dream somehow, but I remember smarties being something I definitely wanted (and one of my fave candies iwl to boot). Hurrah!

Anyway, I think I determined I'd have to go home to get more money or something, and then I ran into a couple people. First I believe I ran into Ben, which was cool. I think we both took a look at a weird flier that explained how, in preparation for the holiday season, everyone had to get used to digesting raw car oil stuff. It was part of some new technology that would feature heavily in the upcoming holiday festivities, and the flier included tips on how to build up a tolerance and stuff like that. And then at some point the flier was on the floor, and there was a spider or two on it, doing their best to climb it but failing utterly thanks to its gloss. Actually I saw spiders a few times. Maybe a dream sign?

Then I ran into a friend from my job in the first dream ?? which seems unlikely. But when I looked at him and tried to remember where I knew him from, that was my conclusion: oh he's that guy from my first job. He was with a girl and mentioned how there was gonna be a parade soon, and how I should sing in it. I reacted to this with ... the typical response that no I do not like to sing no thank you no.

Then Ben returned as I was leaving the store, and we both set off walking home.

Dream 4 - The Helicopter Bus Thing that was not actually a helicopter

Spoiler for In which I'm in the 1319 area and watch a helicopter bus take off:

Lastly I was back in the 1319 neighborhood in broad daylight, crossing the intersection from the Metro station we always used towards the CVS. As we walked, we saw some weird helicopter bus thing; it was supposed to be the newest technology, the reason why everyone was drinking oil for the holidays, though it really looked less like a leap ahead in technology, and more like some unnecessary attempt to prove that completely un-aerodynamic things can be made to fly for no real reason. It wasn't quite the holidays, but whoever-was-behind-it wanted to demonstrate that it could actually work. Also, it was filled with celebrities and/or people that could afford to pay their way onto the thing, which was called a helicopter but was really just a school bus.

Mom and I commented to each other something along the lines of "Do you think it'll work?", and "Well, it's made by [something here that implies faith in humanity and the scientific method], so it should." At which point the helicopter (which was really a school bus) lifted off.

It managed a brief flight before crashing down and burying itself to the hilt, so to speak, in the CVS (which, in this dream, was more like a bank business building boring thing of some kind), maybe about 5 feet off the ground. It remained like that for only a moment before somehow crunching its way through the remaining 5 feet to the ground, and then, now apparently free of the building and following a brief, tension-filled pause, tipping on its side. The reason it moved like that was probably because I was paying such close attention to all the people arranged inside, filled with concern as the bus moved and tipped about, and watching them tumble while hoping they didn't sustain any injury. Which they didn't.

At this point I was still heading home towards 1319, and then (timing is confused) I remembered that the guy behind Celldweller may have been on the bus. Or else I just happened to look inside and see someone who looked like him. And I was trying to figure out whether it was actually him, and then there was a brief segment where he said something, maybe on twitter, about how he dresses: lots of black and red and a fancy haircut. At which point I stopped worrying.

Fragment
Being in a room, sort of a community center thing that reminded me of a 7-11. I know Nathan was there, and probably some other people. I think before that we'd all been wandering around Rock Creek Park.

Dream - Velociraptors
Yo this was a velociraptor dream. I suppose I would call this a zombie theme, since the general idea is fending off hordes of undesirable things that want to eat me and that are very difficult to run from.

SO in this dream I was in, I think, the Cheverly house, and Ben was with me. There were also a few others, one of which being an older businessman sort of fat guy who seemed very doomed under the circumstances. Also some people were fending off velociraptors in the van at some point, or maybe that's just something I considered doing myself? Personally I didn't like the idea of being trapped in a tiny space with a bunch of velociraptors, but different strokes for different folks. I preferred to be trapped in the basement.
Actually the basement wasn't as open as you'd think, thanks to the piles of junk everywhere, but they did prevent the raptors from surrounding my brother and I right away.

Anyway I can't really remember how it got going, but I do remember that Ben and I were in the basement for a specific reason, something we had to collect, some reason we couldn't leave right away. He was attending to that while I tried to fend off the first wave of velociraptors with something that may have been a baseball bat or simply a long chunk of wood. And apparently the dream's graphics engine got a bit lazy, because the first wave of raptors consisted of rather small clear-colored raptors that were fairly difficult to spot, owing to their see-through-ish-ness. I remember whacking a few, but I had the impression that I wasn't going to be able to hold them off very well, and/or they didn't seem particularly impressed by my attack, despite being hit over the head with a chunk of wood bigger than they were. At any rate, I did seem to be managing to stall them for the moment, at which point the next wave of velociraptors arrived.
These were a size larger and featured Graphics 2.0 with full coloring, which appeared all the more striking as though to make up for the previous and more boring first wave. Their color was something like brown, red, and green, with dramatic zigzags along their backs, and very bright eyes and faces. I don't recall fighting them very much; I think their appearance was a sign that we should leave the basement, lock the door, and never open it again.

Man there was some kinda plotpoint that had to do with why we were in the basement, and maybe even why raptors were coming to attack us, but I can't remember it. Scientific research? Who knows >:U

I also remember a point at which I was talking to the fat business guy in an upstairs room.

Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any satisfactory conclusion to this velociraptor dream. OH WELL. I'm pretty sure there was more to it as well, like maybe their emergence from the basement as the situation worsened, but I'd hate to speculate. (I hate accidentally rhyming too but whatever.)

UH I was hoping I'd fall back into the flying dream but oh well 83 I ended up dreaming about school 'cause that's what I'm really worried about.

Dream
OK so I dreamed I was taking some kinda class in a fancy marble ... room. I wouldn't say a building because somehow it didn't feel like one. Just a large marble room with another marble room branching off it. Seemed sort of reminiscent of another dream building from a previous dream. I know I just said it wasn't a building but whatever. What kind of building only has two rooms?

The teacher was some lady tryna school me in ... some sort of writing class I think. There was certainly a lot of paper involved; I remember looking over at a filing thingy (I have NO idea what they're called) that held previous assignments, already turned in, and seeing that other students had unanimously decided to put their enormous homeworks between book covers. They sort of looked like photo albums with papers inside. So many papers.

I also noticed that the previous assignment, one we'd turned in just last week (in the dream) had actually been supposed to be (TENSES) a group project. Which wasn't how I'd done it. So that was an especially uncomfortable feeling. I got over it though.

Lastly there was a bit where I was home working on the newest project, but it was some dream house, not MY house. It was still a pretty great house though.

Anyway I found an old half-sandwich in the fridge and I was like "huh I suppose I shall eat this then." The idea was that it was just some old sandwich from like, last week, again, and that maybe it had been left out for a bit since I took it to school with me, but the fridge had probably refreshed it. And anyway it was a pb&j sandwich. So I ate it with all those feelings sort of mixed in. It was tasty anyway.

Fell asleep at 12:30, woke up naturally at 6:30 after a non-lucid(?) dream with dream powerrrrss~
arright so let's see

okay so first was a rather strange part about me and others living under a table in the dining room of the 1319 house. most of us were just trying to get by, but there were two, maybe three who were in danger of killing others ... they ended up in critical condition thanks to me but I don't fully remember what I did. some kinda desperate, bloody fighting. hrm.

neeeext part was probably Ben and I just outside the 1319 door discussing the defensive mechanisms of the house. between the glass door and the gate were two black computers stacked on top of each other with red numbers displaying how many TBs of "protection" they offered, as far as security measures for the house went. It was nighttime, close to bedtime. Ben was lecturing me about how it wasn't really necessary or we owed it to our fellow man to not wall ourselves off from them; he even punctuated his speech by hailing some woman with a baby walking by, though I'm not sure what that proved. Mostly I remember checking out some weird bugs on the porch's stone railing, and then realizing that the computer on top, the more powerful one (with 128 TB), wasn't even on. flipping that switch was very satisfying somehow. per Ben's lecture, though, I left the front gate open.

there was something abouuut some teenagers hanging out in a group in the 1319 living room. I remember one or two girls walking over ... I think it was partially About Time-inspired. I picked one girl to be my friend or something, and then there was a short discussion about R-rated movies during which I heartily insisted I wouldn't watch a particular one whose theme was "boiling" (just eggs out-of-shell, but it seemed like the type of movie that would get quite a bit worse).

then I walked into the dining room where the two-ish people I'd incapacitated were still lying under the table, and then it was time to take them to a hospital or prison or wherever.

now I started to use some dream powers automatically. I wasn't thinking anything like "I'm lucid" and I imagine the thought would've surprised me, but at the same time I was conscious of the need to trick my brain so I could get away with classic maneuvers like flying and breaking windows. Still, I'm not counting it as lucid yet. I don't want to settle... xP

the next bit was about the half-dead guys being driven away in the back of a prison van; but then there was something about a group of teenager chasing me along the nighttime streets. same teenagers, maybe. I think slightly before that was a brief segment during which I practiced floating as opposed to flapping, but it was remarkably hard to stay in the air that way. I found it took far too much energy to simply believe I was able to hover, and any lapse in concentration or belief sent me drifting downwards. I had some success but eh.

Next I was in the streets being chased by eager teenagers for some reason, and I remember gleefully clinging to the top of a red van as it drove along. that was definitely giving them some trouble, my choice to cling to a van. gosh I'm tired and my writing sucks. at least I'm getting this down. I don't remember that part too well anyway, though I was having a great time defying them.

the last piece of dream was set in a museum, and now I was starting to settle into old patterns: breaking windows to fly out. I remember a friend leading me up to the top floor of the museum, where some lady was setting up an exhibit about her writing, which was some sort of fantasy series about warrior rabbits; somehow this was also a lecture presented by the professor of an online class I was taking, and am taking IWL, though the subject matter is different. the only people around were me, my friend, and some hint of the writer lady, such as her voice narrating something about her writing, or the impression that she was nearby, setting things up; the room was set up rather nicely, with a staircase along the east side (top-down view), dark carpeting, dim lighting, a row of windows along the south wall, and some cardboard cut-outs arranged in front of them. there was more exhibit to the north beyond a wall with two doorways, but I was mostly interested in the very many windows.

likely in opposition to my friend's wishes, I started trying to kick or punch out one of the windows to let me through. There really wasn't much time before teenagers would come flooding up the stairs, as far as I could tell, so my main focus was simply on managing to break a window. It took a few good tries on a few good windows; I was trying to lever my self-belief into the equation but it backfired somewhat when I started self-believing that some of the windows were made of two layers of glass, and were therefore much harder to break. Also some had blinds in the way, but I don't think I really cared; it just made it a bit more difficult and awkward.

Finally I broke a window and climbed through, clinging to the outside of the building where I would probably be safe; next, I flew down a bit to land on some wall structure nearby, and then my next plan was to fly up to the roof. I think that's when I woke up, though.

There was also some weird fragment about being in the CVS in that area and someone describing how certain ... things would hide in the displays. Uhhh. Basically how Easter eggs would conceal themselves in their ... packages. Which seems lazy to me but whateverz.

hhhhh. I wanted to fall back asleep and pick the dream up where I left off but I think the TV downstairs is too loud ...

Fragment 1
Somethin' about an evil villain type guy who operates mainly in this underground sewer-ish place. Tunnels, dark with red lighting, and with walkways of metal grating. There was something about how he wanted to lure a good guy or a hero of some sort there, in order to harness his ... heroic attributes.

Fragment 2
Dad's chewing noisily and I'm trying to tell him that this time, THIS time, I'm not going to just handle it (I have misophonia IWL). I'm so beside myself that I doubt he can tell what I'm saying, but it's something along the lines of "It's been four times already and I'm not going to keep handling it." I think at some point he takes me aside and explains that I am going to keep handling it. Oh well xP

Dream 1: Walking on Ice
Yayyyy an actual vivid memorable dreaaammm...
It's nighttime and there's a bridge that goes across an enormous frozen body of water to an island of some kind. There's a rather treacherous path at the very edge of the island and at the base of the cliffs, that goes all the way around the island, and tourists are told that the farther they make it around the path, the more bonus attributes they'll get. I'm not sure what these attributes were supposed to be but it kinda reminded me of an RPG or something. Except I think they were positive morality-based attributes, not power-based.

Anyway I wasn't a tourist but I decided to go around the path anyway. My sister was with me, walking along a bridge that also went around the whole island, so we were sort of side-by-side. The path itself was kind of hard to describe. Basically, at the base of the cliffs there was some white-painted wood cut in nice ribbed sort of shapes, at foot level and hand level. I forget what it's called, argh. At some points the wood formed nice flat shelves I could easily step (or leap) on, but other times I had to cling to whatever I could at hand level because my feet hardly had anything under them. If I slipped my sneakers would end up in icy cold water, so that's something I wanted to avoid, but somewhat counter-intuitively the middle of the lake was more frozen than the edges, so it was really only a danger right next to the woodwork.

My method of traversing this path was sort of daring. I wasn't proceeding at a particularly slow pace; more leaping from one foothold to another and clinging to the handholds as necessary. I think Jess and I were chatting as I went and the maneuvering was more background work. I wasn't at all worried about slipping; I think on some level I knew confidence would be enough to keep me from slipping. Low-level lucidity? 8) Maybe I'm getting there~

One interesting occurrence was when I saw a fish frozen in the ice a short distance off-shore. My first impression was that it was an "angry fish" (carnivore), and then I walked over on the ice to investigate, a little nervous as I felt it cracking under my feet. At this point I was a little fascinated by how great the ice looked; really, how great everything looked.

Upon closer inspection, the angry fish was actually only partially trapped, and it had its face pressed up against a hole in the ice. Then I had a good idea, and walked over to where I'd (earlier?) spotted a dead normal fish (non-carnivorous), also trapped in the ice. My impression was that it had been in the ice for some time, but that it would make a good meal for the trapped fish anyway. It was also about the same size as the other fish. I grabbed it at the base of the tail and pulled it out of the ice somehow, and then walked back to the carnivore fish, which I could sort of now tell was a seal, and I said as much to Jess when she called from the bridge asking what the thing was. It had its muzzle poking out the hole in the ice again and was eagerly opening and closing its mouth, and as I dipped the dead fish's face by the seal's face, it suddenly grabbed it and yanked it out of my hand under the ice.

Then there was a last bit where the seal was drifting along (free of the ice) asleep with the fish, now trailing blood, in its mouth. Somehow the fish was parallel to the seal. Actually they may both have been trailing blood for some reason. Then there was some nature narrator saying something about how, unfortunately for the fish, fishes and seals experience unconsciousness differently, so the fish couldn't really escape even though the seal was asleep. And then shortly after that I woke up. Hm.

And then I spent probably half an hour or more trying to fall back asleep but no cigar. Maybe because I was worried about forgetting all this.

WBTB After Six Hours
Hmmmm. I remember ...

Fragment 1
Waiting in a church parking lot for something to happen, like for church to start. There was a lot more going on, but that's pretty much all I can really remember. I think I may have been moving along the ground which sort of signified how close I was getting to church starting. And there were cars and people going by and I was kinda waiting for mom. Huh.

Fragment 2
Some kind of Mega Man story... uh the most memorable part was that at the end, the promising scientist kid turned out to be on his way to becoming another Dr Wily, along with his asian scientist wifey. Like, that was a huge plot twist on top of everything earlier that had happened. Which I can't remember. So ha. I mean bleh. BLEH.
It feels like my recall is getting worse, not better... xD but maybe I'm just impatient!

Morning
uhhh my WBTB attempt was totally unfruitful. maybe because it's finally Spring Break and I just finished that end-of-the-8-week-class essay and my brain knows I can relax and recuperate somewhat. BUT IT IS WRONG. THIS IS NO TIME TO REST.

An Actual Dream Whaaaat
A kid from Paranatural who will remain unnamed is sitting in a classroom with about three others. My mom and I are sitting in chairs in the other room, and then I walk over to the doorway of the classroom. I remember this part a bit better because I was actually emotionally invested to some degree, which is SOMETHING. THAT IS SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT.

Anyway I was leaning against the doorway trying to be all casual and I was like "What's up, Dude'sName?" and he was kinda like, wondering what I wanted, and then I was like "Do you want to ... come talk?" like I was asking him out on a date or something. I was really trying to play it cool and it was super difficult... xD The girl sitting next to him was kinda laughing at me but whatever. HE DID COME TALK. With my mom and I. Which actually wasn't awkward because I view my mom as a cool buddy and not a ninja lurking in the shadows for her chance to embarrass me and ruin my entire life forever. I don't remember what we talked about though. I think I was just really satisfied that I'd managed to extract him from the classroom and get him over here with me. good times ;3

Fragment 3
uhhh this one had a slightly darker mood because I'm pretty sure ... well okay, first it was set in a filing room sort of thing that was pretty dark. And there was some kinda bad guy leader person, and he had this subordinate that he was trying to get to murder everyone in the filing room. I don't remember being too concerned by that though, so I guess it was more like a movie than a life-and-death struggle scenario.

Anyway there was MORE INTRIGUE GOING ON that I can't remember. just, y'know. Know that it was really cool and stuff. Just so interesting. SIGH.

If there were any other dreams they got swallowed up, even though I slept like 10 freaking hours. It was so annoying, I sort of imagined that morning would be when I would just be surfing in and out of dreams but it doesn't make a difference surfing in and out of dreams if your BRAIN DOESNT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. I seriously remember that when I woke up for my WBTB my brain was simultaneously going "I HAD NO DREAMS AT ALL" and still sort of having flashbacks to the dreams I'd just had. Make up your MIND.

I'm going to get back my consciousness, the consciousness that let me realize the difference between waking and sleeping. I'm going to figure out where it went and drag it back into the open spaces of my mind. It's probably behind a mental dishwasher somewhere. Frick.

/** Notes on WILD Attempt #1.0 Alpha
Oh I almost forgot about this part okay so.
After my 5 AM wake-up-call I tried to WILD with BillyBob's tutorial and using Harionago's technique as an anchor. I laid down and tried to relax while picturing my dream body clapping. It was a little hard to hold onto, but I managed to keep it up for a while as I started to drift off.

And then, maybe three or four separate times the clapping I was doing started to sort of "fade in": it started to feel like I was the one doing the clapping, and I could actually hear it, and each time my brain reacted like a lightning strike. It felt like touching metal and getting shocked, except totally mental and a little more subtle, like something that had been waiting had snapped awake. And each time the "faded in" sensation vanished as a result. Eventually I just fell asleep and had a normal non-lucid dream.

It was pretty annoying, but hey, that's a first attempt for ya. To me it seems very very promising, if I can keep it up. I really want this whole dreaming thing to be a skill that I master, even if it occasionally takes a backseat to other skills I enjoy.



*/

OKAY LEMME TRY TO WRITE THIS DOWN WITHOUT TAKING HALF AN HOUR (NOTE: I FAILED)

First part of the dream, my brother and I were going to this winter retreat which was pretty exciting, I think I can remember the sort of planning and packing that's typical of that sort of thing. Mostly though I remember skiing down a slope. It was just me and Ben, nobody else around, and the slope we were going down was in the middle of a forest, and the snow wasn't even all over the ground. Most of it was piled on the slope which was good because otherwise we'da died or somethin. I remember skiing down and then my second try was snowboarding and it was fun but YOU KNOW. MY VISUAL MEMORY AINT AMAZING. Or I wasn't present or something idk. I think my recall is fine and I need to increase awareness/presence somehow...

At the bottom of the slope (it's a wonder we weren't just sent flying into it) was this great tree house sort of thing. It wasn't confined to one tree either, it was sort of all over the place. And there were animals all around or somethin?

Anyway the dream shifted at this point, so now instead of Ben and I it was just Protagonist Dude and Protagonist Female. Or whatever. That's not the names the dream gave them I just came up with them. I did a bit of exploring of the tree house as Protagonist Dude, I think. There were some animals in cages. Actually, it was almost like the setting of this peaceful story had been partially combined with that of a cold, scientific lab somewhere, because I'm pretty sure some of the animals were distressed. That's the impression I got. Protagonist Dude didn't seem to care very much?

so now the setting changed to be an anime that my boyfriend and I were watching and let's see man it's so hard to remember everything that happened

I think there was some stuff here about the Protagonists and y'know some bad guys but I can't remember >:U

oh well I like this part at least

the anime sort of introduced us to these bad guys at some point? they were supposed to be these super mysterious watchers who were behind a camera of some sort, it was like, how the bad guys or the government were keeping tabs on the good guys and it had sort of a 1984 feel to it. anyway it shows us these watchers, there were only two of 'em in the whole place, and you're introduced expecting them to be these evil autonomous Watchers who just Know Everything and junk, and it turned out to be two frightened protagonist-looking-people, one of them probably in his 20's and the other a bit older, just absolutely terrified that they were going to be squashed by the government for missing something.

which I'm pretty sure one of them was.

and then I remember that the episode had ended and boyfriend had stopped watching and I was checking out the preview of the next episode and this is SO CONFUSING but basically the two Watchers were sword-fighting in the most obnoxiously happy way possible, just fighting all over the place so professional but also laughing the entire time. And there was some sort of hint that it was actually a dark scene or maybe an old memory that no longer mattered or whatever, and then the preview switched to the main part, which was that the 20-something Watcher had been freaking out about something. And then what the dream gradually revealed was that he'd had trembling in his vision, and now the shaking had stopped. So there was this cool bit where he was lying in this super-green grass and I got to see from his perspective how non-shaky his vision was now. Which would normally be pretty boring because most people have non-shaky vision and the idea that it had even been shaky at all had only been introduced like 30 seconds ago, but it was still a sort of touching moment. And evidently he was freaked out in a GOOD way about all this. Or idk maybe he'd been freaking out about the government maybe squashing him.

Anyway the last thing I remember is seeing things from his perspective, including him tilting his head way back to see the grass and sky. And you know what. Right now I couldn't tell you which was where. My brain says "oh the grass was on the bottom and the sky was on the top because that's how perspective is supposed to work" but when I tilted my head back just now my bed was on the top. Or idk the bottom. UGH SO CONFUSING, BLEH. My brain tries its best. I don't blame you brain </3

5 AM BLUHHHH
so uh hm let's see I had a weird mixed-up dream...

Uhhmm. So this dream was sort of confusing because even though it was first person I spent a lot of time watching videos in it and those sort of took up my whole view like it was full screen or something. Soyeah I would occasionally come back to my body but a lot of the dream was just, almost 3rd person observation except for the part where I would sometimes come back. *yawwwns*
So first bit was something about Dad discussing Jesus Christ Superstar and a Jesus dressed in white vs a Jesus dressed in black. Actually they were supposed to represent a white-skinned Jesus vs a black-skinned Jesus but I'm pretty sure they were both white, just dressed in different clothes. Lazy dream.

Anyway my dad showed me this song from Jesus Christ Superstar that normally would be the first song sung, the one where Judas is all "My mind is clearer now ..." except in this dream version it was the very last song played and Jesus was shown crawling out of a bog and Judas coming up to him shortly like "hey I really need to apologize". And then Dad said somethin' about the song that placed it in history somehow and it was confusing and blargh. And then I went to my brother's dream website profile to download the song. It was this hosting service where a file could be hosted by one or more people and the more people hosting it the faster it downloaded. In this case my brother was the only one hosting it but it didn't download tooooo slow...

Uhhh there was something showing side-by-side comparisons of white/black Jesus's being all dramatic in different ways while my dad said something about how white Jesus couldn't really complain compared to black Jesus. 'n' then the dream switched to some comedian guy talking about race relations and then there was this visual of like a zillion frickin birds in the distance parting to reveal something complicated and race-religion related and it was confusing.

And then the last piece of the dream was just my dad showing me somethin' stoopid about a stoopid movie trailer involving this fancy-schmancy witch and her escapades. Like she pulled up at a mansion and when she walked in and shut the front door it sounded like a car door, which wasn't the only connection they tried to make between the house and a car. Really it was just drilled into your head because she frickin' just kept messing with the house door and creating car sounds until it got to the point where she was just slamming the door repeatedly to make car-door-closing noises. WE GET IT.

And then there was a shot of her getting out of the car underwater at the frickin bottom of the ocean, just her and the car on the ocean floor. It was actually a pretty cool shot I suppose. And then a shot of her and her friend in the car driving underwater, and the friend was saying "I didn't know <fancy made-up car name> worked underwater." or something.

There's some other thing I want to try to remember but it's frickin' impossible. Something about my brother and expectations or idk just being all chill with him or both somehow. Waahhh. Time to WILD here I go.

so I set my alarm to wake me up after 5 hours of sleep, but when it went off my approach towards dream recall was Utter Ambivalence, so I just went back to sleep. Man it's hard to care when you've just woken up. And the thought of squinting at the screen and trying to type was painful, so ... what do I do about that? >:U
Anyway, morning now, let's see

Dream (1): $$$ for ??
The earliest dream I had was about being in a mall with my boyfriend, and him letting me spend somewhat ridiculous amounts of money on something at one of those stall shop things. I'm not sure what it was; maybe it was ice cream. Maybe it was buying entrance into a video game? He trusted me to the point where he'd wander off and let me pay for both our whatever-it-was's (plane tickets?).

I have a distinct memory of fumbling with the dollar bills, much to the annoyance of the cashier, and pulling out $20's and $5's only for it to be the wrong amount of money. And okay there was definitely something about buying ice cream and toppings and junk, though I get the impression that buying things like this kept happening and was really the entire feature of the dream.

There was also something else about buying something nearby and seeing an adorable kid kinda standing around, but I can't remember what was said or anything.

Dream (2): Airplanes are P Gr8
Then the next dream I had was a bit more complicated and detailed. A frenemy of mine was messaging me talking about how he was in an airplane going somewhere, and I looked out the window to see two enooormous airplanes (SO COOL), a white one coming in for landing and a black one taking off with the frenemy inside. They were so close that I could easily see this frenemy through his window, wearing some snazzy red and white Beats headphones and looking down at his phone. Neat.

Next thing I knew I was on that plane, and my brother was there, yay. Or maybe there was a short transition in between where my brother and I were buying tickets? But I believe we were on the same plane as said frenemy, and it may have had to do with entering a game, or flying to where a game competition was.

But that detail didn't matter because next thing the plane was being forced to make an emergency landing. What I remember is that the pilot started to mention it or the plane started to dip down, and I looked out the front window somehow and realized we were apparently going to touch down on a highway. Part of my mind was like "hm I'm not scared by this hohoho" even though the pilot was clearly experiencing some stretched nerves, but hey, he was the guy who had to land right and maybe not crush any of the various cars or cause an enormous accident. It didn't feel like we were going particularly fast so I think that's why I wasn't worried. Slightly nervous, maybe, but not scared.

Anyway he managed to land on a clear stretch of the highway, though now we were slightly tilted because one of the wheels was on an elevated median of some sort, and he couldn't slow down because we were on a highway, and cars were behind us. So the airplane taxi'd and here my brain apparently lost interest because it didn't try to explain how we got an enormous airplane from the highway to a department store parking lot. But we did, because that was a fairly logical thing to have happen next. It just sort of happened.

So next thing we were out of the plane and in the department store, and now my mom was there and perhaps also my sister. My mom had the idea of signing us up for Judo, so we wandered over to the Judo section of the store where some students were fighting on a too-small carpet. Really each student pair was constantly in danger of walloping another nearby, but apparently it didn't matter.

So as soon as it became clear that I might actually sign up, my first concern (and non-concern) was that I would start using Judo to release my aggressions. But at the same time I was pretty stinking excited to be able to unleash my dormant rage~ but it seemed like the sort of thing that wouldn't be strictly allowed or ethical. Like maybe I'd get in trouble with the teacher or something. So of course the sign-up form reflected this; I got a piece of paper with three questions or so on it, one of which was something like "why do you want to sign up?" with a box underneath for a one-word answer, and I had to decide whether I was going to put "aggression" down like a toolbox. But that's where the dream ended so we'll never know.

I'm still not lucid but to be fair the only techniques I've been using are random reality checks and lazy WBTB's. Spring Break's coming up >:3

After going back to sleep I tossed and turned a bit... it would sort of feel like I was in a dream, but then I'd roll over onto my side or change positions, and when I was in a dream I really had no idea. Basically the line between waking and sleeping got thoroughly confused, which I suppose might also explain why my awareness was so bad.
So here's what I remember >:U

I dreamed I was in Psych class, which has been happening sort of a lot and I wish it would stop happening. Not that I don't like Psych class, it's probably my favorite, but it's pretty boring as dream fodder goes. I didn't used to dream of normal life stuff this much. PFEH. I will take responsibility for this... I will orchestrate my return to dream glory with my own hands... *pushes up glasses #anime reference that probably just scared some people.*
And anyway the class was just discussing the [redacted], with the teacher laying out some extra details. We were in a dark room, and I could tell you which room of the campus it was, but you know what screw waking life connections. We were just in a dark room. Suck it. I like it a lot better when I'm dreaming about places I CAN'T visit in real life, even if I've been there before. Like the house on Irving.

The other one ... I was at the community college campus (BLEH), and in front of one building was some sort of odd set-up, a rather large bus-car thing on a circular track. I can't really remember what it looked like, but if I had to I'd say there was pink involved, and it was rather creatively shaped. Sort of like a double-decker white and pink bus thing. Anyway its purpose was to run over stressed-out students; not in a "you've outlived your usefulness" way, but more like "you're stressed and need a break, let's go for the leg" sort of thing. OK not that either. It really was just the teachers trying to do more for the students and apparently it genuinely helped. Which was nice of them.

OH another thing. There was a part where I was sneaking around a college(?) building I didn't recognize (YES >8D ), trying to explore and figure out how it was laid out. And then there was something about really great thin pizza that they'd cut into real skinny slices and give to people as treats. It had a special name too but dadblast it I'm never going to remember what it was. It was some made-up English word and trying to write it down here would probably just get it wrong. Anyway I loved those pizza things. They were another anti-stress measure.

Anyway at some point I decided to walk in front of the bus thing as a way of seeking help in advance (normally it would go for you but you could also just walk in the way like an idiot). The bus-thing was driven by Samuel L Jackson or someone similar and he obligingly crashed into me, and I was probably sent flying or something but honestly the impact itself barely registered. Apparently my brain didn't find it worth paying attention to because the scene practically skipped ahead to another part. There was something about a swimming pool but it was almost more of a one-shot than anything else; some teachers standing around a swimming pool and maybe I was supposed to swim in it. Who cares that's dumb. And there was something else about a swing but it was also dumb. Really none of it made any sense.

And then there was an honestly pretty great scene where he and I were just reading from some entertaining magazine. It kind of reminded me of my dad 'cause he loves funny stuff like the Onion and junk. At one point I asked Jackson something like "Do you not get to laugh because you're acting?" or y'know, something about his deadpan, and he said yeah that's pretty much it. But then I was reading (and actual reading which I'm sort of impressed by hehehehhehe) and I hit a particular funny part and he started laughing and I could feel him chuckling and I was like yesssss. It was actually pretty cute, in a surrogate father-daughter sort of way.

Oh and there was some other bit about performing a skit of some kind in a subway train. It was sort of awkward 'cause one girl farted the tiniest fart in the world but still the two other kids were like "Did you hear that?" and the other person's like "yeah" and I'm thinking something like "I'm never farting again" and I wasn't even the one who farted. And the acting was pretty bad too.

Over the course of writing this (it's taking me like half an hour) I decided I'll try to separate myself from waking life by not noting connections between dream life and waking life. Like okay, if I dream about Trent Reznor that's fine because I have no connection with the actual guy IWL, so it's still the sort of thing I can only experience in dreams. But if I'm dreaming I'm in Psych class Imma... try not to acknowledge it so much. I want to try to draw more attention to the weird parts that aren't IWL and try to ignore the parts that're relatively normal. Or idk I'll just ignore the whole thing entirely and focus on other dreams that aren't SO BANAL. Or I'll put [redacted] over parts that obviously reference waking life, like I did earlier in the post just now.

yo it's 5 am let's do this *yawn*

(a hastily scribbled outline was here)

Thinking back as far as I can, the first chapter of the dream was something about me being on the second floor of a large castle. The outside was rather menacing somehow, probably because it was simply enormous, and the interior reminded me somewhat of a church I used to attend (third floor of WCF). I get the impression someone else was there and that there were some rules going on, but mostly what I remember is that my cat Moses was being super dangerous in his attempts to get from the second floor of the castle to the ground. It was something like, when he wasn't supposed to jump to the ground he'd end up falling off somehow, and when it was made totally clear to him that he wasn't allowed down, he jumped off in the most ridiculously daredevil and rebellious way a cat can manage; that is to say, it was a sort of flying leap. He seemed alright when he landed though.

There was also something about the second floor of the castle being able to view the ground floor (some open space in the floor idk architecture terms) but having prison bars, and there was definitely more structure to the whole scenario. There was a girl there, it was nighttime, and there was a bit of a Stone Harbor feel. And come to think of it there was some sort of longer scenario involving a whole bunch of other teenagers which had a bit of story and structure to it, and some clique hierarchy junk, but the best I can remember of that is simply that I, along with my female (dream) best friend, was in competition with some rude female who probably had some boyfriend arm candy, and ultimately I was victorious on some level. And I suppose it wasn't quite teen hierarchy junk as much as it was adults-and-office-related. So a bit of both.

The second chapter that I can remember ... involved something about a Roman slave type person, a rather ruefully cheerful man, and something about him carrying a plate that had recently had food on it past my (iwl) dad and some other guy, both of whom commented on it. If I had to guess, I would say the plate had just had some venetian turkey pie on it. Uhhh the architecture of the situation was a bit confusing as well. The slave guy came out of a back room sort of thing and walked by a counter which divided the short hall he was in from the room with the other two men in it, who were lounging in chairs. Man there was something really strange happening other than what I'm describing but it's either hard to remember or hard to translate to waking life terms. Basically though, the two men commented on the plate, saying something like "is there any of that left" because the food it referenced was so delicious, and the slave felt sort of awkward, and then there was something about the Bible. Or something. And a river of lava. The feel of this chapter was subordinate with a touch of outright menace and a helping (DO YOU SEE THE THING THAT I DID) of danger, compared to the previous one.

The last thing thing I remember before my alarm went off and I woke up was a dream that I was recording my dream. I was attempting to remember the different parts of the dream and starting to outline them in my head so I could remember them and write them down. But since I was still dreaming and not at all lucid, the information I was arranging was totally made-up (did not refer to any dream I had just had) and in non-IWL terms. Also I did not realize I wasn't awake and when my alarm went off I was genuinely surprised. So it would almost be impressive that I started writing down a dream before I'd even woken up and before my alarm had gone off, if the information did not look like (attempted translation):
• a person wearing a black, looseknit sweater thing
• holding a fishing rod that they are using to tease
• some third person (information not found)
or, in other words, total gibberish, even as dreams are concerned, and also incorrect.

But apparently my heart's in the right place. Also more proof that my mind sort of knows when my alarm is about to go off (since my mentality started to switch from "dreaming" to "recording dreams" shortly before I woke up), which is always very strange. I also remember that my feelings upon waking were something like "ahhh I'll remember all this when I wake up in the morning", but I decided to write it down anyway because those words really meant "I'm disoriented and lazy and I didn't ask to be in this 5 AM time-to-write-down-your-dream situation" and the fact of the matter was I was already starting to forget. Having a dream journal on here is pretty dang cool.