Mydera

Dream one- I can't get my kids to sleep tonight, and I'm getting really frustrated and tired. the medicine I am on for my chest pain makes me feel like I'm going to fall asleep standing up, and they just won't sleep. My son asks for water, he's drank the first round I gave him already and just can't sleep without more water. I grudgingly get up and walk into the kitchen to refill his water bottle. My mom is standing in the kitchen with my former step brother, getting water from the fridge as I came in to do. I set the bottle down, really agitated that she's over so late and unannounced when I am already struggling to get the kids to bed as it is. "What the hell are you doing here?" I grumble. She replies, "I was in the neighborhood, and Dylan was thirsty, so I let myself in to get him a drink. I didn't think you'd mind!" I start to bring my hands up to my head in an expression of frustration and anger, then stop. My hands look weird, and she doesn't have a key to my house. I realize it's a dream, and try counting my fingers. I have five on the right hand, but seven on the left, and one of those seven is huge and misshapen. I shake my head, relieved, and tell her, "Never mind, this is just a dream. You can do what ever the fuck you want, I'm out of here." then I run through the kitchen and into the living room where I jump through the window. The window never seems to change, but I am able to pass right through it as if it doesn't exist. Part of me is still really unsure though. I know this is a dream, logically it can't be real, but my god it feels so real. usually my lucids still have a sort of muted dreamy quality to them. There may be one or two senses that I am focusing on, but all my others are normally quiet. Not this time, this time I smell the dirt and the grass, I see everything as real as life, I can feel the breeze and hear distant stormy noises, I can even feel my full weight of my feet on the ground below me. I think I'm going to try to force the unreal feeling by flying, but I can't get my feet to stay off the ground because I am struggling so much with how real it all feels. I notice the neighbors across the street have a trampoline in their front yard, and decide to try using that to launch myself into the air to fly. I run over and climb on, just to be completely blown away again by how much I can FEEL in the dream. I'm not just feeling the trampoline under my feet, I can feel the weave of the cloth moving below my feet, my hair moving around my face as I jump, and even the whole electric fear falling feeling in my arms and chest b/c I hate free falls. I try jumping higher and higher, noticing there's a trampoline in their back yard as well. I think maybe I can jump from one to the other and then take off in flight from the second trampoline since I can't get myself in the air on the first one. I jump to the second trampoline, and still can't get skyward. I decide to jump off the trampoline, the ground impact not hurting will surely break the whole "this is too real to be a dream" feeling, I land on the ground, feet first, with the impact throwing me slightly off balance so I end up on my hands and feet rather awkwardly and painfully. That totally didn't work as planned. I realize I have wasted a lot of dream time trying to force control of the dream, and I want to use my lucids to search for Kurasawa as much as possible, so I give up on control. I look for someone to ask about him, to find a direction to go. The neighbor has come out of her house, she's a middle aged black lady in the dream but I have never actually seen these neighbors in the whole year I have lived here. I walk towards her, and she stops as if a bit confused as to who I am and why I am in her yard jumping on her trampolines. I try to create a picture of Kurasawa to show her, but as hard as I try the square "picture" I am trying to draw into existence won't show up. I remind myself that I don't need to be able to see it, I just have to convince my brain that SHE can see it, and hold the air as if I am holding the picture. This works, and the lady stops, clearly in recognition, then takes an involuntary step backwards. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but I am looking for someone. Have you seen this guy? and can you tell me what direction I can find him in?" She shakes her head, and takes a couple of steps back as I take a couple of steps towards her. She ducks under her clothes line, and starts retreating to her back porch. I follow her, imploring her, "I know you've seen him. I can tell you recognize the picture. Please tell me where I can find him!" She continues to shake her head, climbs the steps of her porch, then turns back to me. She takes a deep breath, then points behind her house, deeper into the neighborhood and up a hill (In the real neighborhood, the hill goes down not up like in the dream). I can't remember her exact words now, but they were something like, "He's up there, where she keeps all the ones she uses to control people. I can't help you." I start to ask her who "she" is, but the lady hurries inside her house as if she's afraid to be outside any longer. I walk up onto the porch as if to follow her, wondering on my way up the steps who "she" might be. Is "She" one of the goddesses I have dreamed about in the last year? Could she be the goddess Bridge that I have found myself calling my patron in dreams? Is she my own sub conscience? Why is she holding onto him? Is she trying to control me with him? On the porch I look out over the neighborhood and up the hill in the direction the lady had pointed. I can see lots of houses of the neighborhood, even some of the modular homes in the subdivision they built adjacent to ours. I notice the corner of a house tucked in behind those modular homes, and it just sticks out to me as important. It just FEELS like Kurasawa is there. I zoom my vision in on the corner, and it's as if I am not only looking through binoculars, but also pushing the houses between me and it aside to see the full house in better detail. At that moment, the overcast sky comes to life in a stormy rage. Thunder growls, lightning crackles, and the wind whips all around me as the sky gets darker and darker until all I see is black. Thunder claps, and instead of lightening lighting up the area, my vision flashes with clips of newspaper too fast for me to read. I realize that I am losing control, possibly even the whole dream it's self. I can actually remember in the dream that there were thunder storms called for, and I am sure this is the storm arriving in the waking reality and bleeding over into the dream reality. I try to cover my ears to block it out, too panicked to realize that dream hands can't block out waking life sounds. I fall, spinning, through the blackness and wake up.

Dream Two- I am on some sort of beach trip with many of the coworkers I interact with the most. The whole dream is very confusing because it jumps back and forth in time. One of the girls I work with has a new white car that is super fancy and all kinds of expensive. She is very proud and protective of it. We've got a really rickety house that we've all rented with many rooms. Every family has their own room. My boyfriend and kids are playing video games, but I want to explore the area. I go outside and find a forest oddly nearby. The forest looks almost dead and abandoned, but as I walk through it I hear my boss telling us about it as we unpack in the shack (like a memory I guess) and then I watch as he talks about the legend of faeries and elves bringing the forest to life, the forest in fact does come to life. I can even see the little fairies flitting around making it glow and grow. I twirl and dance through the forest like a cheesy movie scene just enjoying the magic of it. Then I am walking into a little beach shop with my kids, boyfriend, and boss. I need to pee, so I find the bathroom. As I am pulling up my drawers a lady and her handicapped daughter literally break the lock on the door to get in. Realizing the girl's disability though, I try to be as understanding as possible and just jerk my pants apologizing that I must be taking too long. The lady grunts to me that they just couldn't wait anymore because her daughter is special, then starts to use the restroom right in front of me. I stumble around looking for a sink to wash my hands, and when I can't find one the woman calls me an idiot for not realizing there just isn't one and getting out of her way. The daughter is grimmacing at her mom's rude behavior though, and keeps giving me apologetic looks. I bow to the daughter slightly and tell her I am sorry to have caused her any trouble, and that I think she is far more special in a far better way than her mother could ever understand. She seems to get that I am telling her that she is a way sweeter, better mannered person than her mother, and nods. I am grateful that she gets I am bad with words, but think highly of her for putting up with such a mother. I scramble out of the bathroom and my exhusband is in the shop. He starts fussing and yelling at me for who even knows what, I can't remember. My boss comes over and tries to get in the middle to defend me and my character, and I feel awful about it. I run outside and hop in my coworker's brand new fancy smancy car. My exhusband follows me, climbs in the car, and starts berating me again, this time getting so angry he's flinging his arms and fists animatedly around the car hitting the windows and dash and seats (he's not a violent person, so in the dream it didn't seem dangerous even though it sounds like it was lol) I show him out of the car as hard as I can, and tell him to get lost. He storms off after slamming the door, and I realize the car is in shambles around me. He's busted the seats open and dented both interior and exterior. I start crying again as my coworker comes out freaking out over her car. She cries too. At some point we start laughing about how funny it is to see the car looking so bad if you aren't attached to the situation. Then, I wake up.