ErraticHopper

I'm in a sparse one-room cabin high up on a hill. The hill is steep and covered with green.

Then, I'm sitting about halfway up the tiered seating (this is also very steep), in the middle of a lecture theatre, listening to a lecture. I can't remember what it was about now but I felt moved and I remember discussing it with the man sitting next to me. I thought he was in the anime club and I remembered that I'm in that club.

When the lecture ends, I head to the anime club room. It comes is off a high-up hallway, seeming to float over the hillside, bridging two towers together. The sky is dark now and it's pretty dim and shadowy up there. I am the first one to arrive. There's a smallish room with three long tables and benches, and an even smaller one through a door at the back of it which is either an office or a cloakroom.

Two women arrive, one blonde and one brown-haired. They sit down and, unusually forward for me, I ask the brunette (she's closer): ' Hi, What's your name?'. She tells me, it's a pretty normal one, and asks enthusiastically what my subjects are. I tell her that I'm studying Italian, French and Latin!

Then she goes into the back room and I slide along the bench to be opposite the blonde girl. I ask her name. "Don't laugh," she says, "My name is Tickdick." I'm slightly incredulous and she explains its meaning to me.

More people come in. I look around the room and now apart from the women I spoke to I see several men all in the same pale blue waistcoat. I remember thinking that I didn't expect there to be so many men in this club.

Later, after everyone has left and the room has grown even darker, my friend (IRL) comes in and we talk.

She speaks about how many girls in the school (including her) are now in lesbian relationships after failed relationships with non-binary people. They weren't sure about their sexualities when they previously said they were bi. I say something about this and she mentions that others in the school used to talk about me a lot, years back, when she was LGBT and I was the only one who supported her. I ask in interest what they said about me but I can't remember her answer.

She gets up and says she wants to go out to the field to see the olive saplings. I think that's it, at least. We leave the room and head down the hill to a bright, sunny green field nestled among the hills. There are rows of olive saplings on the hillside and rows of smaller plants below. We spend a while admiring them.

A farmer lad arrives, to take care of the field. We chat to him awhile. He needs to break down all the plants as it will help them grow. My friend protests a little but we watch him sweep his arm along the rows, breaking the stalks in two. He collects the broken tops. My friend tells him to leave those, at least -they'll dissolve into the soil and help the plants grow. He agrees and scatters them about.

Once he leaves I notice three birds glide out of a tree. They are positioned as if sitting upright with their wings folded to their backs, looking ahead. They still move forward steadily in the air. I point out to my friend how weird this is and we both stare at the birds in confusion, continuing to talk. Finally, high above the trees, I see the birds open their wings and begin flying faster, beating the air. "Of course!" I say. "They glide first, then they flap their wings to stay up!"

I enter my school's sixth form building late at night. As I head down the hall towards the dining area I can't see anything around. The hall is black carpeted and so is the larger room. The usual round tables are nowhere to be found and the serving counter is lower and farther forward than it is in real life. It's made of smooth white marble. The fridge is also shifted to the left. Though not quite real, the room is easily recognisable.

Nobody is around, but I get the impression a big gathering has just ended. Everyone else has probably gone upstairs already. (Seems like this is a dormitory in the dream - IRL there are only classrooms upstairs). There are lots of desserts left over.

On the counter are two large slate trays, each piled with jelly cut into cubes and stacked. One tray holds red jelly and the other, yellow. In the fridge is another tray of orange jelly and a cake liberally piped with cream on the top and around the sides. A few slices have already been cut out. Pitchers of clear juice or squash are on the shelf, one cherry-pink and one orange. I love desserts. I'm thrilled and head over to fill a plate.

I am really annoyed that I don't remember anything more! I've yet to taste food in a dream, still.

A room in the school with a large oval-shaped wooden table in the centre. Books and folders are around, stacked and leaning inside the filing cabinets which line the walls. I am there, another student (who I recognise) and a teacher. We are in discussion, then we leave to head to assembly, shutting the door behind us.

She and I enter assembly in the hall. There is a stage at the front of the room with floor-to-ceiling red curtains hanging open at the back. Everyone sits facing the stage on blue mats on the floor, shaped like those foam pool floats (kickboards?) that I learnt to swim with when I was a kid. There are three mats on a thick blue runner which are set aside for us two to sit on. I sit in front of her, but there's not enough space so I end up leaning on her legs a little. I look to my right and see that all the blue mats on the floor around seem minuscule, smaller than my fingernail, like scales.

As the assembly goes on, I'm relaxing more against her legs when she puts her arms around me from behind. I feel her hair brush my neck. I'm surprised - but it feels really warm, and I take it as affection between friends. Soon she starts lightly kissing my head and neck. I feel my whole face heat up and I'm not sure if this is still just friendly. I can't believe no-one is noticing.

This actually feels nice, but I don't know how to react, so I pull away from her a little. She loosens her arms and says, "Sorry. I just need this right now." I lean back into her hug again and she kisses my hair some more. After a short while I end up pushing her away with a brief apology. I distinctly remember thinking, 'I better remember this when I wake up...'

Well.

I'm lying in bed, because I'm sick again. My parents had gone out for a walk in the woods or something like that, I feel like they've been out all day. When my dad gets home he comes into my room and sits on the edge of my bed.

He tells me that my mum is dead. She fell down in the woods and died. I think of my mum falling onto a pile of sticks, breaking her leg. He tells me that the funeral has already been held.

I can't believe this. I ask him how he could have held a funeral without me - in one afternoon? I protest that I wanted to see her one more time but my dad himself has a distraught look on his face. I think that maybe he couldn't bear to wait. I'm in shock but I feel tears sliding down the sides of my face, wetting my ears. 'How old was she?' I ask, '58? 59?' We share the feeling of her being too young without having to say anything.

"Try not to think of her body," my dad says. "It disappeared in the fire I burned her in... Think of her soul." I think of a flaming wooden funeral pyre.

Some time later, there are lots of people over at my house. I seem a lot younger here than I really am. The adults stand talking with my dad and they each drink a vial of liquid that is supposed to make them the opposite of drunk. Some kids climb up onto my bed and we discuss that drink, agreeing that it is evil. We drink something that makes us hyper before knocking us out.

The news hasn't really sunk in yet, but when I wake up the next morning while everyone is getting ready to leave, I look out of the window at the bright blue sky and it makes me wail and cry out. "I want my mum back!" I say it twice and my dad tries to comfort me, but he doesn't say anything.

I changed my mind about posting the lucid. I can't piece together the sequence of events and have literally been agonising over it for more than a month which has been causing me to slack off on practicing (trivial, I know). So I've decided to forget all about it. It wasn't even an interesting dream!