dream fragment

I'm so annoyed with myself! I remembered this whole dream when I woke up (at 4:20) but I didn't write it down immediately because I was tired. It was really interesting, too. Now I only remember this fragment. This reminds me strongly of another dream which I never wrote down, I can't remember when it was but it was at least a couple months ago.

I'm travelling on the underground trains, but my train is stopped for some reason so I exit. I remember standing in a wide square above ground. The ground is covered with yellow gravel and the sky above is clear and bright. I stand in front of a blocky stone monument, a large slab with words carved into them. I don't think I bothered to read them.

I read about some artwork in two train stations and I want to go and see it. An artist carved messages into the platform walls, criticising two different British prime ministers. After waking up I felt like they were Tony Blair and Margaret Thatcher - but surely not... That would be funny. I take the train once again and get off at the station where the first one is. The platform is wide and its wall is rough-textured, as though there is a thick layer of cement on the outside.

However upon arriving I am shocked to see the artwork almost completely gone. At the near end of the platform the beginning of one line of text is carved into the wall. At the far end finish two or three lines. Between is a smooth blank expanse of dark grey cement. I know that text once covered the lower part of this wall, but it seems to have been erased - smoothed over without leaving a trace.

I suppose that because Tony Blair (why not) became Prime Minister after all, he had the work removed to avoid damage to his reputation. This thought weighs on me. The idea of political censorship leaves a bad taste in my mouth. On the platform, the next station is Victoria.

I had a lucid dream!! Didn't last long though.

I'm in my house's small bathroom, taking a shower. The water doesn't feel very warm and the room is dark, no lights are on. I can see dimly around me - the grey tile walls, the silver shower tray (do those actually have a name??), the small window and white Venetian blind. A thin shaft of white light comes through the blind. I fall down on the floor and wonder why I can't wash my hair. Then I realise, maybe it's because I'm dreaming.

I try testing gravity by jiggling my leg and it moves in slow motion. Then I know. I feel a rush of excitement. But I know I have to stabilise the dream. I hold up my hands to examine them, but I can't see any details of them in the dark. I held them outward under the only glow of light in the room to see a bit better. The light is golden now and in a sort of dim hovering ball. I still can't see much, so I try willing the room to light up, knowing the light switches are outside.

I woke up then. Was it a false awakening, though? I immediately tested gravity again by moving my leg, and it seemed to move very slowly. But I felt so tired that I didn't really register this, just rolled over and went to sleep. I'm wondering if I actually missed a false awakening since I don't usually wake up in the middle of the night. And if I do, I'm rarely so tired that I just go back to sleep.

Still, my first DILD! Better go update my profile's LD count!

Fragment: I am on the BFI (British Film Institute) website, although it has a different name - three letters beginning with C. The homepage has a background of a wooden house surrounded by grassy fields where the wind is blowing softly. Somewhere on the site I am looking at a listing for a set of second-hand books (this is not something they would sell). The books are about the 'Crown Collection' and the series of 5 costs $8. I think this sounds pretty exciting and show my mum, but she scoffs that that is a stupid purchase. Surely I don't really want those books? I am awed by her scornful attitude.

Notes:

- Now that's the second time I've visited a website in a dream. Perhaps I should reality check when visiting websites. Just ask myself if what I'm looking at should really be on this site and why.
- The books really were priced in dollars, not pounds...
- I think a dream sign might actually be my mum being rude to me.

I'm clicking through the pages on a shopping site, which lists 'sellers' - of what, I don't know. I see a picture of each seller's head and shoulders. The only one I remember, on the last page, is a Japanese woman in a high-necked shirt with a ruffled collar, with dark brown hair in a chignon on top of her head but also twisting over her right shoulder. She seems to be middle-aged with a warm smile.

On the second-last page, under the list of sellers, is a large image of a clock and a sign saying 'Radio Tokyo' on a bustling street in the evening. A caption below says 'Write to Radio Tokyo'. I click onto the last page. Three sellers pop up (including the one described above) but after a moment they disappear. This is a problem with the site that I was already aware of, so I refresh, but am not much impressed by the sellers. I scroll past. Below, under a picture of a red light flashing in the night sky, the caption says: 'Message Joe at the Observatory'.

Then I'm sitting at a sort of bar. This place is hard to describe. It's a narrow, polished wooden table, piled on one end with books and papers, facing into an empty ordering window in the wall of a bar. There are people in there and a man is sitting next to me in a rumpled brown suit. I realise I am on the street in the 'Radio Tokyo' picture. It's late at night and all the street lamps and shop lights are on, glowing golden. There is a radio on the table in front of me with several wires and jacks coming out of it, and a pair of headphones. The man sitting next to me has one earbud in and is listening. I realise that this radio is for free listening and pick up the other earbud, holding it to my ear. I think I hear something, although I don't remember what. On the radio's narrow screen is the date: 'Today is Friday, 28th January'.

Then I am at home, at the dinner table. We have some guests here. I join in the conversation with everyone and it feels like we have had this conversation before. I get up and walk around the table to pick up a large pillow and a small thin bag from under two of the chairs, and I remember it all happening in reverse. Some other time I put all of those things there.

Our discussion makes me think of that website I was looking at. I say that now there is a cost-of-living crisis, people can't afford to be choosy even when sellers are unreliable - they have to pick the cheapest option, even knowing they won't do a good job.

It's too short for a new post, so I will also include Day 29: Night of Sunday 21.01.2024

Fragment: Half-asleep, I see my mother standing over me, asking if I feel sick. She tells me not to take a sick day from school but to think of our family's pride. She says she knows I just want to skip school because I'm too lazy to work, and I'll have a bad reputation if I always blow such trivial matters out of proportion and expect sympathy. Talk about harsh!


Notes:
- First time I've used the internet in a dream? As well as other technology - laptop, headphones, radio.
- Entered the location of a photo!
- An incorrect date, if only I'd been more aware...
- Finally, I almost completely remembered a face.
- Don't take my dream advice if you are poor and looking to hire workers.
- I haven't been practicing any techniques since I got sick, so this is all I've got since the competition. I'm better now so will get back to work and hopefully recall will go up!

I'll include Day 28 (Friday 19th) in this entry as well.

Night 13:

Fragment: I stand outside one of my school's buildings and look in through the window. It's a bow window, which differs from IRL. There's a new room next to the secretary's office, a long and narrow room, warmly lit. The floor was polished wood and inside is a TV on a stand against the near wall, facing a row of austere black school chairs. I saw one of my teachers standing in there. However, when I entered the building, I couldn't find a door into this room.

Good RCs: 1pt
WBTB (failed): 2pt
Fragment: 0.5pt
Night 13 total: 3.5pt

Night 14:

Fragment: I'm on my bed, feeling groggy. There are faceless men all around me, wrestling and fighting me. I roll around and writhe trying to kick them off. Nothing I can do seems to have an effect. I feel helpless and ill. The dream feels endless - it seems to last for hours. My head is spinning and I can barely see, my vision keeps fading and blacking out.

I woke up tossing and turning, trying to kick away my blanket, feeling horrible. Looks like I'm sick. This isn't the first time I've had this kind of dream when sick or sleeping badly. It feels like there are people all over my room, walking in and out, not letting me sleep.

Excellent RCs: 2pt
Brief meditation: 0.5pt
Fragment: 0.5pt
Night 14 total: 3pt
Competition final total: 44.5pt

Winter Competition Night 12

Most cliché dream I ever remember having. I read a lot of transmigration manga.

I've definitely had this dream before. A girl is transported into a fantasy world - I remember that she had bobbed black hair and wore a hoodie and jeans. After some back-and-forth (which I don't remember) among the society's elders, she is assigned to live with two guys who don't like her. They disapprove of the food she puts in the cupboard, her tastes, where she goes. But she has strong magic powers so they let her stay as per orders.

Another day they are watching a scene projected onto a big screen in a large, grand, wood-panelled hall (it looks a lot like an IRL place I know) when the boys cause images of a girl screaming while being electrocuted to play on the screen, intending to upset her. Enraged, her whole body crackles with electric light and she levitates out of her seat. She destroys the screen and everyone gasps out loud. She then faints and is caught by a female elder. After this incident she is given a room in the boys' house.


Fragment: Someone stole my phone! I'm floating in the blue sky at about roof-level when I see my phone fly out of my hand and rapidly away. I am shocked and about to give chase to get it back, but my dad says it's fine since I need a new phone anyway.

I hadn't actually had that dream before. But throughout the dream I felt a strong sense of déjà-vu. I was sure that this was a dream I had dreamt before. How didn't I become lucid despite thinking that...

Excellent RCs: 2pt
Brief meditation: 0.5pt
NLD: 1pt
Night 12 total: 3.5pt
Competition total: 38pt

Winter Competition Night 6

Another strange one...

Fragment: I'm with my friends in the hallway, but for some reason we're not allowed to go downstairs. Or rather, I'm not. My parents are watching TV in the lounge. We whisper to one another figuring out a way to sneak down there without them hearing. Our plan is that I walk down the stairs (they creak) between two of my friends stepping in time to them, so our footsteps can't be told apart.. Then I've got a different idea. I hug the banister and slide down it, touching my feet to the steps very lightly here and there to make no noise. I make it to the bottom quickly and my friends are impressed at my idea.

Morning fragment: Am downstairs. Some vague thoughts about the three layers of languages on the fridge (??) and the power of advanced French.

Excellent RCs: 2pt
2×fragment: 1pt

Night 6 total: 3pt
Competition total: 20.5pt

Winter Competition Night 5

Ugh nothing but weird fragments these past couple days. At least it's something, I suppose.

Fragment: At home (in an unfamiliar flat) I read a letter from my boss at work. Or is it an email? She says they were told by the internet company that I watched too much pornography at work this month. She writes this is inappropriate behaviour which does not fit with the image of the company's ideal employee and I am fired. I suppose anyone would be fired for that. I feel a horrible sinking feeling reading the letter.

My flat seems to be just a single room - since there is a letterbox on the door. I have a narrow desk with a computer and office chair, a single bed with red or blue covers, and hardwood floor. The window has cheap metal Venetian blinds and seems to be frosted glass. It's dark outside.

I have never watched porn and found this a bit unsettling.

Went to bed at 10PM - attempt START 11:24 PM. FAILED.

Excellent reality checks: 2pt
Non-lucid fragment: 0.5pt
Night 5 total: 2.5pt
Competition total: 17.5pt

Winter Competition 2024 Night 1

Fragment: In a clothes shop, I am talking to someone - either a shop assistant or a fried - about ready-to-wear and designer clothes. I say I prefer RTW over high-end labels. Meanwhile I'm looking for a gift for my mum - I want to choose some nice clothes for her. Curiously the clothing racks are all empty and I can only see two in the whole (large) shop - though I'm not conscious of this at all in my dream. The shop is gently lit with pinkish-gold light from side lamps for a comfortable atmosphere. The floor is of smooth, square, cream-white tiles polished to a shine, and the walls are a pinkish/rose gold colour.

Went to bed at 10:58 PM. Lucid attempt FAILED since I fell asleep.
Awoke at 5:30 AM.

Fragment: I am inside a certain (named) church with some family, looking at some old coloured maps of it. The interior reminds me of a regency building from a period drama, the walls are freshly painted white and I can see in the corner of my eye an antique-style sofa with green upholstery. The exterior is like a Greek temple with columns (the front at least) - which actually looks a lot like said church in real life. Which is surprising since I have never been there. I look back at my sister and it seems we are both wearing regency dresses. Looking out from the entrance at the side of the porch, the church is surrounded by green fields as far as the eye can see. They look like they've never been weeded or mown, the grass is growing up tall and I see many clovers popping up amid the grass. The field is dewy and a light mist obscures the view further out. The weather is fresh and chill, and we are leaving.
Maybe this is because I watched Sense and Sensibility recently?

Dream (this is also quite vague and fragmented):
I am inside the school common room. The space feels much more enclosed and cosy than it is in real life. It feels warm and welcoming. I am sitting working on something when I get up and go outside. Outside the school is a wide grassy field, much like the one described above - except there are trees here, too.

There is a high wooden table standing on the grass where two of my friends sit on tall chairs. One is a real friend of mine but the other I don't know - a dark-skinned boy with dark straight hair. They are talking over (I think) her current sewing project, and I mention that I do some sewing, too. We show each other some photos of our work and talk for a while longer.

After some time I begin to feel like I'm being called - there's somewhere else I need to be. Then I remember - I've got to go now. I take my phone and rush away from my friends but leave my bag behind on my seat.

Next thing I remember, I'm boarding a plane, though I only remember seeing it from the inside. The plane is very long. The low light level compounded with the grey-black carpet, upholstery and even walls make the interior extremely dim. I hurry past rows of seats (all facing to the front of the plane) until I reach in the middle of the plane two rows of fold-up seats facing one another. All the rows behind are also facing the front of the plane - only these two are strange.

A music teacher is standing in the aisle telling some other students where to sit. She mentions my stranger friend (who is not with me) and says there is room for him, too, pointing to where I am standing in the backwards row. Then she tells me to sit down. I hurriedly fold down the seat nearest the aisle and sit, clutching the edges of the seat for balance - since there are neither armrests nor seatbelt. I feel uneasy. My friend hasn't arrived yet and the plane is about to take off. Then a real-life memory comes through: I remember that my phone has only 30%, it won't last long and I've forgotten my bag and portable charger. Frantically I tell the teacher about my bag, but she turns away and ignores me. I jump up and am about to turn and run out of the plane to get my things. But...

I glance to the side and am shocked to see trees rushing past the window, blurred. The plane is already racing through the field and I didn't feel a thing. It tilts up, about to take off.

Went to bed at 11:14 PM; began lucid attempt at 11:37 PM. Lucid FAILED and woke at 6:20 AM.

It's a blue, sunny morning and I am following my school librarian through the city. I don't think she knows I'm behind her. She's wearing low heels and a flared below-the-knee dress with a book pattern on it, a bag on one shoulder and no jacket to cover her wavy brown hair. Cars are driving past while the sun glints on the glass exteriors of office buildings, cafés and small shops are opening up.

We turn away from the main road and down a smaller street. I recognise it; I took a photograph of it once. The street is perhaps poured concrete and is uneven, with imperfections here and there as though it's been pierced with a fork or blown up by a big bubble. Looking down it the buildings shine and seem to merge with the sky beyond, reflecting the blue and the white clouds. At the top is a stop sign: EXCEPT CYCLES.

Some ways down the street she turns and enters through the double doors of a green-blue glass building. Inside the lobby there's a glass reception office, empty, containing a shiny black desk and a window to allow visitors to speak to the receptionist. The floor is that kind of carpet with metal ridges in it. She enters the office and sits at the desk - looks like she works here. But I realise this isn't where I'm meant to be. A crowd of girls in a dark-coloured uniform different to mine spill into the lobby from within to greet her.

I feel confused and register that she should be working at my school. I ask her about this and receive some explanation in return. The thought vaguely enters my mind that I am late to school.

Lately I haven't remembered many dreams because I've lost control of my sleep schedule a bit. Tonight's New Years but I do intend to start going to sleep at the right time again. I've begun studying some lucid techniques and will update my workbook very soon!

I didn't remember this one at all when I woke up, which was disappointing. But then I was reading in the morning and came across a scene which involved a severed head. I thought of the head and then I thought 'Taxidermy' and everything came back to me. This dream was so strange. The second part wasn't at all gory to experience but I suppose it could make some feel queasy.

Fragment 1:

I remember being in a boarding house with classmates from school. The building has two floors and is painted white or grey all over. There are no lights on and the sky outside is dim white, so inside it's shadowy. It's just us here, no host.

My room is on the ground floor and I step outside into a long hallway. The doors too are smooth and white, with pull-down handles. Recessed inside their frames they are dark with shadow. I walk past a pink laundry basket and up the single flight of stairs.

The upper floor is just as shadowy and plain. I pass along the hallway by closed white doors. At the end of the hallway is a dark, empty room with a window on the opposite wall and off to the side a doorless doorway into another empty space. In the wall opposite the doorway are two white doors, and one in the adjacent wall, all closed. I see two of my friends come out of this latter door. They are laughing and carrying a laundry basket.

Fragment 2:

I arrive at my street with a friend from school, we get out of the car. I see that there are two naked corpses, each splayed out face down on top of two cars which are next to one another. One of those cars - the blue one - might be mine, the other is grey. My friend has some reason for these being here. She wants to preserve the corpses so I offer to help her. I take a short scaffolding pole out of the boot of the car and push it into the anus of the nearest body. It enters cleanly and easily with a long part still sticking out. She pushes another into the other end of the body. I'm not clear about this part - in the dream I was sure this was the vagina, but it can't have been, more likely the mouth. But I'm sure it wasn't the mouth. I'm not sure these bodies even have heads. I suppose that's dream logic. At the end of this process poles stick out of both ends of the body, as if it has been impaled.

She asks if I'll help her with the other one too. I look down at the pole I now have in my hand. The pole is dented at the end and has some smudged black marks on it so I tell her it might not be suitable - I'm worried about it causing an infection. I walk up to my house leaving her to finish up on her own.

Outside the open door of my house I stand talking to my mum. She looks out and asks me what that's all about. After a moment's thought I tell her that my friend is interested in taxidermy.

Looking back I can see that both corpses have now been 'impaled'. From here they seem in a sort of spread-eagle position, toes pointed and arms stretched backwards, faces looking up.

Day 14 (Night of Friday 01.12.2023) is too fragmented to merit an entry.

Fragment: looking down a gently lit stairwell at school, sound of girls chattering below.

Me and my best friend from primary school are in a café (restaurant? Eatery?), waiting for another friend who I haven't seen since primary school. It's a small, narrow, high room built entirely of light-coloured planks, roughly hewn. There are large gaps in the wall like floor-length windows, but with no glass in them. I can see outside on a sort of market scene. There's a shop serving lots and lots of lovely-looking baked goods for pretty low prices, I can see their menu even from this far. I don't know what's on the menu of the place I'm in.

We sit at a table - also made of planks, it's what you might find in a hipster café, sideways-box seats on both sides and a white runner in the middle of the table. My friend and I are chatting while sitting next to each other. I look to my left and see a classmate from my current school sitting at a small table, on a school-style chair with a thin cushion, drinking a cappuccino. I go to the bathroom and when I get back she's moved to my table and is sitting opposite my friend. We all talk for a while before she leaves.

More time passes, I don't know how much, but it feels infinitely long as we keep waiting. He's really late. The light outside is still as bright as ever so we keep talking, discussing him, how long it's been, talking to each other.

Finally he arrives. The two of us have almost finished eating (when did the food appear?). He sits opposite, we all greet one another joyfully. For some reason he's wearing a black suit - not the most likely dress for another person my age. I'm delighted to see him.

I'm sad not to remember any of our conversation, since I know there was one. I really need to work on recalling speech! Anyway, after a short time of discussion, I get up and go to the bathroom again. When I return, he isn't here anymore. She tells me that he's already left. It's only been a short time since he came.

"But he only just arrived!"

"Well, you'll see him again. He said to say goodbye to you."

"I wanted to talk to him more. After all, he's my friend, too. And I've missed him..."

The view out of the window is different to before. I can see the back of the bakery shop. There's a bar bending around a corner piled high with giant, glistening canelés and other baked goods to be sold.

I remember being in a place that seems like an American-style cartoon town. Red barns (like Applejack's) surround a small square and wide dusty streets. They are big, each two floors and then a high barn roof. I have a brief image of being inside one of these, on the first floor. The floor was of light wood boards and the room was large and fairly empty. I feel that there were wrought iron spiral stairs down to the ground floor - though those would be rather out of place in a barn.

Outside there seems to be a small market going on. In the square I examine goods displayed on a wooden table. There are other people milling around, as well.

I've been lazy about editing my journals for posting so I've got a bit of a backlog now. Four more dreams waiting to be posted - including this morning's journal! Nothing lucid yet but it looks like my recall is improving, so that's good. Perhaps I'd better move on to trying some lucid techniques soon.

I'm abroad in a different city. I'm sure this is some mainland European country, though it somewhat reminds me of English country towns. The buildings and walls are built of large irregular cobblestones while the streets are paved in the uneven way that's so common in Corsica (to the detriment of my shoes). I catch sight of a large set of wooden double doors, black, wide but not as high as those I see in Italy and France.

I'm guided to the house where I'll be staying by two men. They both wear glasses and seem nerdy, I think they are a gay couple. In retrospect, I'm quite sure the two looked exactly the same - that, or I saw only one and imagined the second. The two are friendly and I remember them talking and laughing with me. They have brown hair.

I meet two more people later on. One is a businessman - broad-shouldered, black suit, cold expression and an office full of heavy dark wooden furniture, thick books and leather upholstery. He reminds me greatly of a character from one of my favourite series. I don't remember the other.

At one point, I'm wandering the streets in the evening, light spilling out of restaurant windows which display scenes of people leaning towards one another talking, cutlery resting loosely between gesticulating fingers, red wine swilling about in glasses, unfinished dishes on the table. I can almost hear the hubbub of hundreds of conversations jostling to make themselves heard.