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The dream fades in very faintly. I leave my dorm room and head towards the lecture halls in search of a bathroom. Turning in towards an open door, I notice the room is filled with students and their parents sitting and socializing as though the class hadn't yet begun. I walk to the back of the room, where the teacher is seated, shuffling through papers.

"Mind if I use the bathroom?" I ask.

He looks me in the eye and asks me straight out if I am stoned. Immediately I respond, "How about I pee on your face?" The room fills with laughter as I explain to the instructor's shocked face "If you have no problem asking if I am stoned in front of an entire classroom, then you certainly shouldn't have a problem with me asking to pee on your face."

At this, he stands up and directs to the corner of the room where we meet with my friend Victoria. He proceeds to ask me a series of questions to determine if I would be a suitable candidate for his advanced music classes. For the first question he asked me to identify the significance of a several sets of numbers divided by colons. Victoria tries to answer in my place, but the teacher glares at her. I answer, time signatures. The second question he asks is more of a riddle than a question.

"What is an abused ukulele?"

"A cello!"

He seemed thoroughly impressed and dismisses his class and myself. I walk back to my dorm room and run into my in-dream neighbor. In order to open our locked doors we must fuck them, as though the keyhole is a vagina and my penis is the key. It feels great and we both continue to fuck our keyholes for several minutes, never climaxing. I open to door to find a gigantic mess of puke and blood. The door and room are the size of a crawlspace, but in a desperate panic to save my roommate I crawl in until I realize he isn't inside. I look out the door and see him half asleep under a bed in the common area.

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