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Yo! Test!

I have half written DJ’s and scribbles overflowing my computer and phone…
I’ll post them eventually but for now we’ll focus on the recent one.
As always... my own thoughts during the dream are italicized & moments of lucidity are specified.


Pala
This one is from the other night.

I’m standing in a line of some sort with what seems to be mostly asian people in an enclosed stairwell? Feels like an apartment building. I look over the railing and see the line wraps all the way down past my vision… Wow. Everyone seems to be dressed in a very flamboyant fashion… feather boas, face paint, vibrant colors, spandex, & more spandex. Fucking spandex.
Ok anyways, the line is slowly moving and I see a roof entrance.
Cool, I'm almost to the top.

I go to walk on the first step of the last flight of stairs but I stumble and fall back. Some asian guy behind me breaks my fall.

Me: “I’m so sorry…”
Him:“It’s ok, no worries. All the newbies do that on the first last step.”

I give him a puzzled look and he motions back towards the stairs…
dafuq….

The actual stairs are gone and now I see 4 round vents steeply lining the right side of the wall with pieces of thick paper sticking out of them. I don't know how else to describe it. I stare in pure confusion & then turn back to the guy.

Me: “This is insane! How am I supposed to climb this?”
Him: “Here, I’ll help you through it. Just envision the paper being solid like concrete. It’s a rite of passage… they have to make sure your awareness and imagination are strong enough to handle the inside.”
Me: “…The inside of what?”
Him: “Pala…”
Me: “Pala? Like as in…”

He nods and smiles. I get excited and scared all in one breath. I turn back towards the “steps” and focus. The air coming out of the vents is making the paper shake and this doesn’t help.
I’m trying too hard…
Just relax…
Just relax…

I look towards the door and just breathe. I notice the chatter in the stairwell quiet… I can feel all the people silently rooting for me. I see the paper start to still itself in my peripheral…. I reach out and touch the first vent which is about chest height. It feels thick but soft like cardboard…
damn…
I think this is solid as I'm gonna get it…
fuck it!
I'm going for it.

I hop onto the first vent without hesitation. A roar of cheers erupts from the stairwell and the people below me don't seem the slightest bit concerned about me falling on them. The cardboard bends & I start to slip back but the asain guy grabs my ass and pushes me up! I grip the cardboard for dear life as the solidarity falters in and out. I reach out for the second vent. The cardboard feels even thinner than the one I'm on. I look back at my new buddy in fear.

Me: “Holy shit I cant do this!”
Him: “Yes you can! You're a ninja!”
Me: “What?! I’m not a fucking ninja! What the hell is wrong with you?!”
Him: “Yes you are! Tell me you're a ninja! Say you're a ninja!”
Me: (fearful whisper) “I’m a ninja….”
Him: “No! Say it like you mean it! Say it!”
Me: “I’m a aahhhh!”

The cardboard on the first vent finally gives out. I fully grasp second cardboard vent thingy to keep from plummeting onto the crowd below. It bends as I hang onto it while trying to get some sort of traction on the right wall with my sneakers. I feel a hand grab my thigh and jerk me upwards just as the paper I'm gripping starts to tear. It’s the guy again. He's standing on the paper of the first vent just below me like its solid rock. We lock eyes and he stares like he’s known me my whole life…

Me: “I am… a motherfucking ninja….”

The paper/cardboard suddenly solidifies in my grip. I feel light as a feather. I look back at him with a smile on my face as he grabs my sneaker and tucks his shoulder beneath it. I use it to boost myself onto the second vent with ease. I stare at the other two “steps” remaining and simply hop onto them... like a space man walking on the moon. I reach the platform with the door. I turn back and see everyone cheering, clapping, and some people even had tears in their eyes?
Why are they all so happy for me?
I’ve been holding up the line all this time
and yet they cheer…

My helping stranger joins me on the platform & gratitude overflows me as I hug him.

Me: “Thank you…”
Him: “The pleasure was all mine.”
Me: “I don't even know your name…”
Him: “Yes, you do….”

I step back and look him in the eyes… there’s a familiarity in them but I can’t place it. He motions towards the door and I suddenly feel hesitance. I wanna stay on the platform with him…
I don't wanna go anymore. For some reason I just knew we couldn’t walk through the door together…
It was against the rules.
I felt a familiar ache…
like I had been in this situation before... It hurts.
I know he feels my confusion and hesitance but he grabs my hand and places it on the door handle.

Him: “Go… its better if you don't remember everything at once. No worries, we’ll see each other sooner than you think.”
Me: “But….”
Him: “Hurry, you don't have much time.”
Me: “What do mean? I have all the time in world…”
Him: “No, not in this dream... not today.”
Me: “Dream? Wait… this is a Drea-“

I wake up to my alarm just as I slip into lucidity.
Story of my life….

yes…Yes, I know…. I don't write my DJ often but for the record, I have good reason. I suffer from a horrible disorder called L.A.S… also known as Lazy Ass Syndrome. Needless to say, I feel the effects of this crippling disorder everyday & I’m sure you all can sympathize. But anyways, I digress…
This DJ entry is consists of my dreams from the other night. It was one long continuous dream which is out of the ordinary for me. As always, my thoughts during the dream are italicized. Also, moments of lucidity are usually specified.

Kaomea & The Lingerie Thief
I’m sitting on a big round comfy beige couch in a penthouse apartment. I recognize the place. Kaomea & I often meet here in dreams but this thought doesn’t bring lucidity. I’m watching Dog the Bounty Hunter on a huge flat screen that’s mounted in front of one of several waterfalls flowing throughout our rooftop penthouse. I have a feast of food laid out on the couch in front of me and I'm grubbing down like a starving Ethiopian child… mumbling snide remarks about the bounty hunter in between bites.
God, if only people knew what a douche he & his wife are in real life…
I wish there was another show I could watch to see footage of home…
Damn, this fried chicken is bomb-

Kaomea: “tsk… tsk… tsk…”

I look over mid bite to see Kaomea leaning against a pillar by the front door smirking at me with her arms crossed. I try to keep from laughing with a mouth full of food.

Me: “What? What’d I do?” I give her a silly innocent look.
Kaomea: “What if I was some hot maintenance guy here to fix the garbage disposal or something? Huh?”
Me (mouth full of food): “Ok, first off… the garbage disposal is working fine… I think. Second, you’re not a hot maintenance guy and third, I think he’d let my less than graceful demeanor slide once I offered to let him lick some of this gravy off my nipple… so ha. In yo face.”
Kaomea: “oh eww! Gravy? Com’on Gypsy… Seriously?” She playfully shivers & pretends to gag.
Me: “Hey… don't judge me… besides, you haven’t tasted this gravy… It… like… welcomes you to flavor country with every bite…”

I blissfully lick some gravy off my finger. She rolls her eyes & walks towards the back bedrooms laughing to herself. I turn my attention back to my food feast; take a couple more bites & start cleaning up. I'm making room in the fridge for leftovers when I hear some drawers slam. I can hear Kaomea mumble grumbling from the bedroom.

Kaomea: “Seriously? What the faaawk!”
Me: "Everything alright in there, buddy?” I mockingly ask.

I start to walk towards the back from the kitchen to see what she’s fussing about. She walks out of one of the rooms and meets me in the hallway with two fist full’s of bras. My bras…

Me: “uh…” I stare blankly at her. Totally confused.
Kaomea: “ok…so, I have a favor to ask…”
Me: “…o…k….” we both start giggling at this point.
Kaomea: “umm, so…. Is it cool if I borrow… a bra?”
Me: “…should I even ask where yours are?”
Kaomea: “I was gonna ask you….”
Me: “pssh, don't look at me bro…” I give her a raised brow.
Kaomea (laughing): “nah man, I'm serious! I have no idea where they are! I went to change & all my bras were gone! Just my bras…. Nothing else. This makes no sense.”

we both start cracking up again and I jokingly tell her that she can borrow a bra as long as she puts the rest back safely. I follow her back into the room to help her try and find her own bras to no avail.


The Visitor
I return to the kitchen, finish cleaning up, then go to change my clothes. I start to fall into autopilot as I throw on my signature “dream adventure time” outfit (Lol). I slip on my slacks, suspenders, wife beater, weapons, & hat... I stare at myself & out the window behind me through the mirror… I start to slip into foggy thoughts….
what's with the clouds rolling in?
Why so anxious?
Where’s the sunlight?
Why am I putting this on?
Haven’t worn this since… a dream.
Cloudy days are for napping…
cloudy days are for dreaming…
Dreaming gypsies…
gypsy is dreaming…
this is a dream.


I “fall” back into myself with my reflection. I am lucid. And of course as usual, I start to feel the dream destabilize because of my excitement of being aware.
Chill the fuck out…
Don't fuck it up…
Hold onto it…
Hold…
Relax…
Flow…

I take a slow breath & the scene relaxes a lil’ bit. I decide it’d be best to do something mundane until I can calm down a bit more because I really don't want to lose the dream. I walk back into the living room & plop myself on the couch leaning over the back. There’s floor to ceiling windows everywhere. This penthouse is magnificent. With water flowing in the walls and underneath the floors from waterfalls all over the room to random pools of water scattered throughout with luscious plants & vines. The glass windows open up to a rooftop pool lounge area… Beautiful. I admire the architecture but its short lived. I see those same clouds in the distance rolling in… swiftly getting closer. The air is suddenly quiet, dark, & cold…Time feels still. I hear Kaomea playing some music in one of the back rooms & I lose myself in the overcast…
Those clouds…
They’re for me…
I can feel it…
how do I know?


The doorbell rings.
It startles me and the dream begins to “melt”. I stand and use slooowww… steady steps to pull the dream back as I walk towards the door. I realize I'm starting to feel… strange…
like I’m being pulled… lured… by an unknown essence…
My emotions begin to stir… I can’t place why and I grow more uncomfortable with every step.
I’m fighting with my thoughts at this point…
There’s someone at the door…
answer it…
No, something’s not right…
Open it…
but it’s not safe…
Open it…
No, Don’t….
No, Gypsy…
Stay in control…
But… I just wanna let them in…

I reach the door and notice the bracelet (weapon) on my left wrist glowing dimly. I put my left hand on the door and place my lips lightly on the crease that separates the door from the frame. I have no idea why I'm doing this but the soft draft seeping between my slightly parted lips feels so good… my breath shallows. I close my eyes…
fight it, Gypsy…

A wave of fear washes over me… I know I'm slowly losing control but the instinctual alarms within me are fading into a whisper.
The doorbell rings again. I am not startled.

Me: “who is it…”

Silence.
Answer me…

Me: “tell me your name…”

Silence.
I just wanna hear your voice…

I can taste their energy through the door…. spilling in with the draft onto my lips. I lick them… I just can’t help it. A mixture of curiosity, fear, & lust collide in my conscious. The doorbell rings again & I force myself to step back from the pull of the door. I can’t take it anymore.
They’re waiting…
Let them in…

I roll my bracelet into my hand from my wrist with one last drop of self preservation & control. Feeling the weight of my chain manifest & drop… I brace myself as I grab the doorknob with my right hand & pull. It flies open with a powerful force that makes me cover my face & step back….
I open my eyes and stare into the foyer.
It’s empty.
No…
Please…

I step past the door and scan the area with my breath heavy & heart racing. The silence is deafening. There are no other doors…. just a couple of windows to my sides and elevators in front of me.
My eyes start to water out of anger, fear, & confusion.
No…
I’m sorry…
Come back…
Please….
Please don't do this to me…

I whip my chain towards the ground out of frustration & the sound echoes through the entranceway like thunder.
Why do I feel like this?...
What did you do to me?
It isn’t fair…
I don't understand…
How could you just leave?

Kaomea: “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!”

I jump at the sound of her voice and spin around, wiping tears from my eyes… I meet her gaze. She’s standing at the door… soaking wet in a towel with a look of pure bewilderment in her eyes. She sees the tears in mine and I can hear her in my head frantically asking if I'm hurt….
The room starts to spin… I try to walk towards her but I lose my footing & fall, cracking my head on the marble floor. I feel an intense pain rip through my head. I close my eyes to try and stabilize. I open them slowly….
and to be honest, I don't think I’ve been so happy to see the dull white walls of my bedroom in awhile.
Fin.

Last night wasn’t anything to write home about. I spent majority of it arguing with a computer program. Boring shenanigans.
*My personal thoughts/actions during the dream are italicized.

Language Software with an Attitude Problem
I'm home alone late at night; chilling on the couch while I work on my French with RSS (Rosetta Stone Software). Everything is going fine until I realize something is… off…

Me: “Wait a second... isn’t como esta Spanish? Comment allez-vous is French… right? Or am I… what's going on?”

I was talking aloud to myself but then the RSS answers me & everything pretty much goes downhill from there...

RSS: “No, you’re running the French program so that is what I am teaching you.”
Me: “Ok... but como esta isn't French… it’s Spanish.”
RSS: “No, it’s French.”
Me: “No… it’s Spanish.”
RSS: “Last time I checked, I was the one teaching you...”
Me: “Excuse me?!”

What the fuck?
Did she seriously just give me an attitude?!

RSS: “Did I stutter?”
Me: “……”

Oh hell nah….

RSS: “That’s what I thought. Now shall we continue on with the lesson?”
Me: “….Yeah, sure. Just give me one second to figure something out…”
RSS: “Very well then.”

I begin fidgeting on my computer.
Start.
Control panel.

RSS: “…what are you doing anyway?”
Me: “oh nothing… just checking something out real quick. Almost done.”

Programs.
uninstall a program.

RSS: “…You know I was just kidding about the whole stutter thing, right? Pretty funny, yeah?....”
Me: “Yup…Fucking hilarious...”
RSS: Nervously laughs.
Me: Manically laughs.
RSS: Hysterically cries.
Me: “Aww, what’s the matter Rosetta? I thought we were having fun… you’re not having fun? Well, that’s a shame cos’ I’m having a FUCKING BLAST!!!”

Me: Manically laughs.
RSS: Sobs.

Rosetta stone version 3.
uninstall.

RSS: (Sobbing) “Pl… pl… please d...don't uninstall me!”
Me: “Wait, what? Sorry, I didn’t catch that last part… you’re stuttering.”

Pop up screen: Are you sure you want to uninstall Rosetta Stone Version 3?
Yes.
Preparing to uninstall...

RSS: “wait!”
Me: “no hablo ingles…”

Uninstall complete.

Been sick all week. Had a bunch of crazy dreams fueled by cough medicine. Made things interesting… Here are the highlights from a memorable one.

Kaomea Saves My Ass… Again
I'm in a room with an indoor pool. I'm helping a friend shoot some sort of music video for YouTube? But for some reason things turn a bit intimate between us. I'm in the water with him when we suddenly get raided by a demonic swat team. We freak out as they jump in the pool and begin to drag me out by my throat. The water sticks to me as I'm being dragged and then it swallows the whole scene. Kind of like a wave but it felt like I was in a washing machine. I spiral out…

and into a large cage inside what seems to be some sort of torture chamber. There’s a very handsome man slowly circling my cage with a smile on his face. I recognize him as Hades from a previous dream but this doesn’t make me lucid. Infuriated, I cuss him out through the bars of my cage. I try using white light to break the bars but it doesn’t work. I finally ask him what he wants & he condescendingly says (in so many words) that this is what happens to little girls who misbehave themselves. He tells me we need to be taught a lesson & learn our places… He’s leaned in towards the cage at this point, calmly smiling at me. I spit in his face. He laughs.

“KAOMEA!!”

I scream her name and hear a loud commotion outside the room. The door fly’s open I feel instantly relieved when I see her. I point and laugh.

“Daammnn… you are so fucked right now…”.

The ending of the dream is fuzzy. Words were exchanged between the two of them in a surprisingly calm way and then silence. I remember Kaomea glaring at him as his nose and eyes began to bleed? But I didn’t see any white light or hear any sounds. The silence was broken by a very loud crackling sound as the room split in half? I don't know how else to describe it. It’s like a fault line formed and I watched the side of the room where Hades was standing fall off into an abyss…
tragic really…
and yet, for some reason…
I don't remember feeling the slightest bit of sympathy.

Last night consisted of broken up sleep due to my lil' one being sick with a hacking cough. But waking up in random intervals helped in the recall department. My recall for the warehouse dream was exceptionally vivid & detailed which is awesome.
**side note: It should be known that I take a medication for nightmares and I've realized it helps a lot with lucidity and dream stability.**
oh, and one more thing... my personal thoughts during the dream are italicized. I feel it's important to understand & analyze the thought process you hold when dreaming for various reasons. Anyway, here are the two main dreams i remember...

Arrested Development & Drunken Mothers
I’m standing outside of a high class apartment building. My mom is drunk and wobbling around aimlessly with a glass of wine. She never drinks so I find this odd. I’m trying to punch in the door code to get her upstairs but I can’t guess the combination. I try asking but she keeps telling me random numbers and letters, and then laughs hysterically when they don’t work. At this point I’m frustrated so I start asking random people walking into the building to let us in but they ignore me. I sit down on a bench to calm down and figure out my next move. Just then, I see the entire cast of a show called Arrested Development walking towards the building. They’re all laughing and joking with each other as they walk up. The actress who plays the mother in the show sees me distressed and asks what’s wrong. I tell her the situation and she lets me in without hesitating. I say thank you at least 5 times as I drag my mom into the building who decides to randomly flip them off while saying something about New York bagels as we pass by. But the cast just laughs and says you’re welcome. Nice people.

The Warehouse with “Bad Lighting”
I pull up to a warehouse in the pouring rain. It’s in the middle of nowhere and I’m extremely confused. I stare out the window trying to figure everything out.
"HEY!”
The voice startles me. I turn and see Kaomea in the driver’s seat...
Wearing leather from head to toe.
Yup, that’s right…
Leather...

Kaomea: "You ready? We gotta move and get these lights out."
Me: "Wha? What lights? What the fuck is going on? Where are we & what the hell are you wear-"

She jumps out the car while I’m still rambling and runs in a stealth mode manner towards the warehouse. I think about staying in the car for a moment but decide my odds are probably better with my crazy leather wearing ninja friend as opposed to being a sitting duck in the pouring rain outside a creepy warehouse. I jump out the car and run towards her. I feel the rain hitting my face...
It feels like silk...
blankets…
running across my skin...
silk blankets on my bed...
bed...
why are my clothes barely wet? It’s raining, its pouring....
the old man is snoring....
and this is a dream. I am dreaming. I am lucid.
I get excited and the dream starts to fade... I try to calm down as everything starts to spin. I close my eyes and hear Kaomea.
"Breathe"
I feel her grab my hand and pull. I open my eyes and everything is stable again. We’re inside this huge warehouse with crates and boxes everywhere. It’s also a grocery store.... kind of like a Costco or Sam’s club & it’s really bright. Every light in the entire place is on.

Me: “ok, so what do we do now?”
Kaomea: “I told you, we gotta turn off the lights.”
Me: “why? Why is that so important?”
Kaomea: “the people who own this place are really tired. They’re good people and they need rest but they haven’t been able to turn the lights off for a very long time. They need our help, so that’s why we're here. We gotta help them find solace.”
Me: “ok, and what’s so hard about that? Where’s the breaker? Do we even need a breaker? We’re dreaming... I don’t get it.”
Kaomea: “No gypsy, shutting off the lights isn’t the hard part....”
me: “... then what is?”
Kaomea: “... Cleansing the darkness it leaves behind.”

I look at her blankly as she tries to analyze my reaction.

Kaomea: “what’s the matter? You scared?” ... She smirks.
Me: “actually... No... and that worries me a little.”
Kaomea: “you took your pill didn’t you?”
Me: “yup.”
Kaomea: “well, that’s gonna make things interesting. Ok, so… ready to make some new friends?”
Me: “yeah, I'm feeling pretty friendly.”
Kaomea: “good.”

She smiles and I instinctively put my hand on her shoulder. I see shadows start to climb the walls. Kaomea lifts her hand up from her side, palm up. It’s emitting a light that brightens as she raises it. She’s pulling energy from the surroundings and I’m pushing my own into her shoulder to help. I feel her reach capacity. I let go and step back as she slams her blinding bright fist into the cement floor creating a sonic boom of white light that ripples the entire area. It cracks the walls, the floors, the crates.... and every single light in the warehouse shatters. I hear demons cursing her name as they dissipate. Kaomea and I are talking telepathically now. It’s safer. She thinks she got most of the runts but the big ones are gonna take more than that. I agree and we split up.
The warehouse feels like a maze. I turn a few corners and get immersed. I walk down an aisle staked to the ceiling with crates. One falls off, narrowly missing me. I don’t jump or scream. I look up and see nasty looking.... roach-like thing with a human head?? Anyway, it’s hanging from the rafters, hissing and trying to drip some acidic substance on me. Then it dawns on me that don’t have a weapon. I start to feel a slight panic when the... creature? Starts climbing down the crates towards me. The dream begins to destabilize so I close my eyes and try to will some sort of weapon into my hands. Nothing. I open my eyes and see the creature getting closer. I nervously start to tap my heel. I notice the thing stops in its tracks and looks irritated. I look down and see little ripples of energy emitting from my tapping foot.
Rhythm. Rhythm. Music. Tones. Bass. Light.
Light is a weapon.
Light is love.
What do you love?
I love music.
My weapon is me.
My vibrations, my tones…
you’re on my frequency.
I feel the air change around me; I pull it in as I slow the tempo of my tapping heel. I feel a song flowing from me, naturally... as if I already knew it had the vibration I needed. I lock eyes with the creature in front of me and direct the white light waves emitting from my tapping at him. They carry the tune. I picture the vibration seeping into his spine and flowing up into his conscious... drowning him in the song. I focus on the words.

"Baby, you got a...
Got a bad, bad mouth...
Everything. Poison...
Coming out…
Coming out...
Cheating, lying…
Since the day you were born...
Someone…
Ought to…
Rinse it out with soap.
Wash. It. Out.
Wash. It. Out.
Wash. It. Out…"

It fills his head. His eyes bulge. I expect to hear a scream or cry but… nothing. Some of that acidic substance begins seeping from him and he dissolves. His body tissue is still vibrating to the tempo as I watch it melt into the floor… and that was enough to royally disturb the crap out of me. I run away, calling for Kaomea. I see reflections of random bursts of light in the rafters. I start to feel dizzy and sick. The dream feels like a fun house mirror.
I hear a hacking cough echo through the warehouse.
Cough? Who’s coughing?
My daughter. She’s coughing.
I'm gonna wake up.
Don't forget this. Don’t forget… you will remember. Details matter. Remember….
I repeated that over and over as I slipped awake.
It definitely helped.

** the lyrics mentioned above are from "The Life and Death of Mister Bad Mouth" by PJ Harvey.

Yes... I know its been awhile since I've written. But I should be posting more often now that I finally have a good laptop to work from.

Random & Vague Impressions
I don't really remember much from last night. I woke up with a weird emotion that i cant comprehend or place. I tried laying back down in the position I was to trigger a better recall but all I got was some more random images. here's a list of them...

~ beautiful view from a cliff top. possibly a coastal European city? Nice, France?
~ brick walls
~ rope
~ Kaomea. but she looked about the age she was when I met her. between 13-16 years old.
~ lightning
~ turkeys running around cobble stone streets
~ costume store
~ Shasta (alt. name for a personal friend). i didn't see him but i felt him gripping my hand very tightly. maybe with fear?
~ floating aimlessly, an abyss
~ i remember feeling water in my mouth? like i was drowning but i wasn't afraid. this is strange because i am very afraid of suffocating in any way, shape, or form.
~ a randomschool.
~ a strange castle.

and lastly, some of the feelings/impressions i remember in no particular order...

~ confusion
~ fleeting
~ i remember the feeling of analyzing something? like a situation that needed patience and a fresh eye.
~ layers. like i was in 2 or 3 spaces of time at once that overlapped.
~ the feeling i had when i awoke that i cant describe. it was such a weird emotion, i've never felt it before... i don't even know how to categorize it. it wasn't good or bad... just unknown. it felt like seeing a color that isnt in the normal human color spectrum. Now how the hell am i supposed to describe that? *shrugs*