ivonaSTK

This is something that i really want to share. Something very personal and breath taking. Well at least for me....


Today is exactly 4 years since my mother passed away. When i was 17 i have been through so many horrible things, as i was living only with my mother and she was the only person that i trusted.

When she passed away i was seing dreams, they were really vivid lucid dreams that stayed in my subconscious mind till this moment. It was the only way i could still contact her. I was aware that im dreaming and i realised in my dreams that she is gone so i was trying to ask her all the questions like why? how do you feel? and she replied that she doesnt feel the pain nomore, I was also asking questions like is there any world that we don't know about? tell me if theres really something like god? she replied that there is a place, where you don't feel any pain, everything is calm and beautiful, but she didnt see any god or something... I was asking her if she can take me with her but she said that its not the time yet and that i need to live...

I was dreaming her all following year almost every day and i was saying how much i love her, say things that i didn't said when she was alive try to hug her and feel her.

Appreciate everything you have now, because you never know when will be the last time you see someone.
Thanks for reading,

R.I.P to my only love in the whole world.

I think imagination playing tricks on me.

When i lucid dream, i see the same city all the time. Same place. I can do whatever i want there. After few years experiance of the same place now i know where are all the parks, markets, shops are and which bus i should take to go somewhere. Thats really weird,i see same people,same gangs, where the poor ones live, where to hide if someone is chasing me and where is unsafe to go. The roads, forests are the same. Now it's been a while since i lucid dream being there, that's kinda sad

After sending goodnight message to my friend i put telephone under the pillow and was falling asleep. I had a strange feeling, was so relaxed, when suddently i noticed that i couldn't move. And i realized that i was about to experiance sleep paralysis (I knew what it is from young age, it was happening to me all the time).

I remember the noise. Loud, unpleasant buzzing sound that was causing disturbance. Vibrating. Struggle to move was strengthening senses. I felt like someone opened the window. I couldn't turn around and look at it because i was unable to move, but i think even if i could - i wouldnt. I felt cold wind, and i heard that someone (It sounded like it was a person) climbed through the window and slowly came to my bed. I heard the steps. Breathing. I felt like my bed sligtly rises as interloper lays behind me. So close. I could feel how he touches my back. My eyes were open, staring at one point and being completely powerless. Then i sow how that person puts his hand around me as if he wants to hug me. And we were laying like that. For a while.

Creepy.