a teahouse inside my head.

As is my custom, here is a long digest of dreams from the past few days.

December 19th, 2011

1. There were some creepy guys following me down the street in front of the church near my school. I told them I only spoke Spanish and Japanese. My friend Anna fought them off. Dylan did something online in which his username was "Dylan ____DDDDDDDD" (and the blank was actually something I don't remember). Then there was some kind of river race. Then a guy was doing a photoshoot in Parish Hall, like when they take school photos. He was acting like the creepy guys (and might have been one of them with a different look. This guy was in a black pinstripe suit and had shoulder length black hair, a mustache, and cream colored hat). Somehow I went on his deviantARt and he had a shoutout to jessietea (me, except on dA where I'm jessie-tea, but for all intents and purposes is was me). He wanted to date me in some capacity.

2. This one is crazy and confusing. I hooked up with Dylan. Then at some point later we were at his apartment (irl he lives with his parents) which looked like they were near the modulars (these trailer classrooms at my school) either in place of them, or they were the apartments right next to them. I ended up telling him that I "was the one who was pregnant with his brother's baby" the year before (NONE OF THIS IS TRUE, the guy exists, and another person who I later mention, Haley exist). He flipped out. Apparently, when we found out, the two of us pretended to kill ourselves (by pretending to cut our throats and hang ourselves upside down in a lake....). Somehow I was still here, but Dylan thought his brother was actually dead. At this point I still keep it a secret. I gave the baby up. This makes the sister develop eating disorders (bulimia), Dylan is angry at me, I'm traumatized by the whole thing. Then it seemed like a montage where time passed and we were a trio and hung out. At some point Dylan starts dating Haley (oh wait, this and the hooking up are real) and we're all still friends. At some point I remember the image of a cream colored laundry room. Finally, we all go to get Guardasil shots together (this dream was the night before I had to go get one of those, so that's why I dreamt it) and we ended up getting it done in the Parish Hall bathrooms.....


Actually, I'll finish these up in another post soon. I have to sleep.

I spent most of this summer away from home, largely in Barcelona, Spain. After such a wonderful summer, I can only hope to revisit it in my dreams! Anyways, now that I have more time (haha, yeah right, it's junior year), or at least consistent internet access, I'm going to try to keep this up this time. Again, I don't know that I'll be typing stuff up every day, but I will be writing it down every day, and either leaving out some days or just posting longer digests.

For now, I'm posting a few day's worth of dreams. For future reference, the date I'm writing is the day I woke up and wrote it down on, not the date I fell asleep on.

September 6th
I was driving with my mom back to her work from... somewhere. Maybe school. We keep passing the turn and going around the block. Until this point, it had looked rather accurate, but all of a sudden there was a giant triangular parking lot across the street. We pulled in to turn around. I look down the street further and it looks a little bit similar to the street with the sushi restaurant on it in a dream a couple of months back with the birthday party (for some reason that was a very memorable dream). In the dream, the experience of driving around in circles reminded me of a time when my friend Cora was driving me to a Chinese restaurant (this is all part of the dream, not the dream actually reminding me of something). We were rushing so we wouldn't be late. We see a girl Chloe who has always disliked me but used to be friends with Cora (not anymore). Chloe tries to cut us. The food looks like a gross version of thai food literally sitting in grease (like, it's grease soup with thai food in it). While we're waiting in line I realize that Cora was illegally driving me (we're 16 and in California you have to have your license for a year, and therefore be at least 17 to drive other minors without an adult), which most kids our age do, but Cora is highly against (and so are her parents). In the dream I then remember some other time when she drove me illegally too without me noticing. Then all of a sudden I left my "memory" and I was back in the car with my mom talking about this Japanese restaurant we ate at once that we both really liked and she actually loves to bring up in the car often. It has the same color scheme as the "Chinese" (this is not an insult to Chinese food, I just remember knowing that it was Chinese) restaurant in the dream (bright colors).

The same night I had another dream. I wrote down less stuff and I don't really remember that much, but I"ll write what I have because I'm sure I'll lose it.
split sushi with jacob r., anna
at work, on break outside
go inside, guy trying to get in by banging on window (probably connection to the Maze Runner and griever hitting against glass)
Maxx, Siena + Adam + Gabe + Max + Mo from degrassi's list
psychiatrist

September 7th
Same deal as last time, this one was foggy
host family or something trying to get permission for party
hang out in park (more like an empty field)
one group in trouble
our host mother buys us alcohol
(sounds a lot like barcelona but our host mother didn't buy us anything and we didn't throw parties we just hung out in parks and on the beach and stuff)

September 8th
Even foggier
honors vs reg english
changing clothes
Julian

I was talking with people in my grade about driving to school (our brand new privilege). I went to sign out on the sign out sheet (which was in some type of garden, sitting in bright green dewy grass). Then I was in the hallway of the church my school rents rooms from for english and history classes, but the hallway looked like one of the classrooms. Gabe and Max R. (I don't want to put the full name, but since there are two Max R.'s, so I know in the future, NOT CURLY HAIRED YOYO MAX) and other boys were talking about some gross driver's ed movie (the kind they use to make you scared of accidents) called "Concrete" (which is funny because the real one we watch in California is called Red Asphalt). Gabe insists that it is actually called "Santa".

Tiny bit of precog (it's a little bit of a stretch) but we talked about asphalt in history class today.

No dreams from friday night on account of the fact that I don't even remember what I did while I was awake friday night.

Last night I remember three not-so-detailed dreams
1: I was adopting a neopet from someone, but the pet was two socks that had been made out of seaweed. When I was adopting the pet the water conditions were not right (read: pH and temperature) so the pet didn't evolve correctly, but I happened to like the messed up one better.

2: I was going to some event in downtown LA and so I was staying in a hotel there. I was really excited because then I could go to Little Tokyo and get yummy japanese food. There were a bunch of details about my excursions that I remembered, but then I fell back asleep and couldn't remember them.

3: I was talking to this girl on a facebook inbox. We usually recommend indie music to each other. She sent me a message saying "You should check out Taylor Swift and Eminem". It was weird because that is the opposite of the music we usually send, + obviously, being a teenager, I know who they are already.

Dream 1
I was at my friend Jacob's house and we were talking about some TV show and he said he hadn't seen the new episode yet because his TV was stolen. I looked over and there was a stand for a flat screen TV but no TV. He told me that he left his window a crack open and they got in that way. Then I freaked out and went home because sometimes I do that. I got home and closed the window, and then looked out the window for a moment. (I live in an apartment building and my bedroom window looks out onto the balconies of another apartment building) I looked at one balcony that had the actors that play Serena and Eric on gossip girl and waved at them (Or it could have been the characters, I'm not sure because I only waved at them) and then I looked at the other balcony and just stood there staring at the people on it for a while.

Dream 2
Kind of a fragment, I made some kind of study guide for my english final with my friend Maxx. There was some kind of panic over it either going missing, messing up the information, or just the test itself. I don't remember.

This was one of those dreams were I felt like I was just watching a movie or something. I wasn't IN the dream.

There were these twins at a party who collapsed because of intense leg pain. One of the twins was obsessed with girls, the other with video games. It turned out that they had been in an accident or had some kind of disease which they knew at some point would cause their leg muscles to atrophy. Someone called 911. It cut to them being at home with their parents (they were either in their late teens or adults that still lived with their parents). The doctor was also there and told them they would experience bouts of extreme pain for the rest of their lives and they would have to go to a care facility. It then jumped to their parents asking questions that they would use to choose the perfect facility for them. Every time they asked a question it would turn to the kind of screen you would see when making a decision or talking to someone in the Animal Crossing game series (at least the DS version) and the background of the menu was a pale yellow. One of the questions was whether they wanted to stay local (and it then zoomed in on a section of land that seemed to be around where they lived. it looked to me like the area near palm springs, CA) or go international (those were the two options). One of the twins wanted to stay nearby and the "game" chose a place for them right away. The other twin wanted to go to Japan. The screen then turned to a google maps type thing with the same pale yellow menu. It zoomed in on an area in Japan and I remember seeing labels for individual businesses (for example, there was a little pink fish with the name of a fish market next to it, etc). Then I woke up.

Then today in History class this article we were reading used atrophying muscles as a metaphor for something we were learning about.

I have found that school+dream journaling is very difficult. I've been writing down things I remember with ease but not working extremely hard at it due to a simple lack of time. I only have a few weeks of school left though, and I thought I would get started now with getting back into dreaming.

The other day I remembered a fragment. This boy I like, who likes me back.... let's call him Daniel, was talking to me about college. He said, "I think I'm just going to go to art school. That's all you need to be a plastics engineer anyways."
This is funny for three reasons. 1) He's really into math and science and computers, so he would never go to art school. 2) Art school is NOT all you need to be a plastics engineer. 3) Here's the big kicker.... he's incredibly anti-plastic (as am I, in fact that is why we know each other).

Last night I was at a party and my friend had calea z. I smoked some and I think it had an effect on my dreams, although they aren't as substantial as I am used to, just substantially better than the past few weeks. I am actually thinking of buying some myself. Anyways...

Dream 1: I was at the party from last night, and someone rang the doorbell. I went to answer it and two eighth graders from my school walked in. I turned towards the back yard and made a really confused face. Then they looked at each other with a look that seemed to mean "I thought this would be a bigger party".

Dream 2: I was at this after school volunteering thing I do with my friend Jacob. We were doing something with a maze. This girl I'll call "A" who also does the program walked in and said "Not feeling it" and left. *This one was a lot more detailed but it's so foggy that I can't put it into words, but I can picture "scenes" from it

Dream 3: I was at the grocery store with my dad and I snuck off to buy some stuff by myself. I got a few thrift store dresses (from the grocery store? whaaa?) and a couple of cans of red bull. The cashiers were 60 year old women who looked at each dress, commented on how they loved it, and made me try it on over my clothes. The pile of dresses seemed never ending.

Dream 4: (First, real life background. I was supposed to visit Daniel in a few weeks (he lives kind of far away) but he wasn't going to be in town for the dates I was going for, so I'm not going anymore) Our mutual friend called me and said "You have to come the day after you were planning on leaving before. Daniel is having dinner with President Obama and we need four more teens and we want you to come!" These dates would have been during my finals, and so I tried to find a way to reschedule my tests. (Sorry if this makes no sense but this is heavily based off of true plans that are already confusing so it's hard to explain them)

The first and fourth dream from last night felt like they were real. I woke up thinking they had happened.

So, I went on a camping trip and I was too cold/tired/busy and it was too dark to keep my dream journal. When I came back I didn't have time to keep track of my dreams. I have been having some cool dreams lately though and I am going to attempt what I was doing before (keeping my hard copy dream journal and then posting when I have anything particularly interesting). I would like to mention a cool dream I had on my camping trip though.

I had a lucid dream inside of a dream. I was dreaming, and I was in control of the dream (I was shopping and I bought this green floral dress and befriended the shop keeper and then ended up having a huge party in the dressing room area) then I woke up and I was like "Oh, I have to write that down" so I wrote it down and I went down to breakfast with my mom (we were staying in a hotel or something) and this lady was offering me all of these brightly colored pastries for dessert (they weren't cooking from the menu that morning for some reason) so I got this green cake thing.

Then I woke up and I was in my tent and it was such an odd feeling. I hadn't really been controlling my "lucid dream" I just thought I was having a lucid dream. It's difficult to explain, but I am 100% sure I wasn't actually lucid, I just thought I was.

I had this dream that I was talking to my friend Anna. There had been a whole dream before this but I do not remember it, but we were discussing something that had to do with the previous events. I thought to myself, "this doesn't make sense, I'm dreaming!"
I tried really hard to not get emotional or excited, but I guess I failed because seconds later I saw the inside of my eyelids.

The only thing is, there is a chance that this wasn't a real dream but rather a drowsy morning... thing. I kept being waken up and so it was finally time to get up so I was trying to remember my dreams from before and I kind of fell asleep again... I'm just afraid that this wasn't really a lucid dream but instead me imagining myself having a lucid if that makes any sense.

Anyways, I'm happy. I've been trying to have a lucid for a year (I'm a slow poke) and I'm finally getting closer to a lucid dream that actually lasts. Plus I remembered 5 non-lucid dreams last night!

Another +1 for apple juice!

I haven't given up again, I've just switched back to hard-copy dream journaling. It's easier to do at school first period then. I'll post here if I have a lucid.

I got a book about lucid dreaming for Christmas (Lucid Dreaming by Robert Waggoner) and I'm reading it right now. I'm thinking that concentrating so much of my time right now on the subject will make an LD tonight much more likely.

Anyways, Merry Christmas!

I'll keep this one short.

They were trying to ban vegetables in England (I don't live in England...) and all of the mice were meeting under the bathroom sink to discuss its implications. I don't know how my POV worked but I don't think I was a mouse but there weren't any humans actually involved in the story. It felt like I was just watching it through a window or something.

Closer to waking up my dream was about a party or something (I just get that feeling). Then in the morning my mom tried to wake me up and I was half asleep. She asked me a bunch of times what class I had first and I thought I was responding but I was responding in my dream. When I finally said it out loud I realized I wasn't saying the class (math) but rather tumblr.

Sidenote: I decided against polyphasic sleeping. I woke up on time (at 3:30am) and stayed up for an hour but I was so tired and I thought of how exhausted I would be for weeks as I was transitioning and I decided it wasn't worth it. I am going to continue waking up in the night (though about an hour later) as a WBTB.

Dream 1: Pre-Three Thirty
I was with my friend Jacob (who seems to be in all of my dreams right now). We were eating vanilla ice cream that looked kind of lumpy and homemade (like the kind we made in chemistry class with liquid nitrogen). I remember saying something along the lines of "more food?" or "I'm so full but I'll eat this anyways" and I kind of remember seeing a ton of plates of food in front of me. We were sitting at a table in the middle of a square in a European looking city. We were watching the area as if we had been placed in a movie or a book and were watching some story take place, though I can't remember anything happening in front of us and I don't think anything was happening. I also remember Jacob saying "well it's up to you" as if we were deciding what we would do.

Dream 2: Post-Three Thirty
I was in some kind of room with people from my school. My friends Cora and Davida were sitting with me. One of them was sitting on a chair like this, the other was sitting on one of the arms, and I was sitting on the other arm. We were talking and decided to go outside. We were in a square similar to the one I was sitting in with Jacob but instead of being a flat square it had a round "pyramid" (like a round staircase up to a platform). We went back to the room and we were talking to this boy Adam. We went back outside and Adam's ex-girlfriend Hazel was sitting at the top of the stairs. Then we were looking online at some kind of message board about NaNoWriMo winners/losers (Cora and I both attempted NaNoWriMo which ended at midnight and lost).

Side note: I was supposed to start a polyphasic sleep schedule last night (the Everyman2 is the only one that works with school, my core sleep would be from 11pm-3:30am and my naps would be 6-6:20 both am and pm) but when the alarm went off I got up and turned it off and then convinced myself that I didn't want to do it. I spent all day today coming up with reasons to do it and hopefully tonight I will actually get up for more than 30 seconds. When I got back into bed I began to attempt a WILD but I just fell asleep almost instantly.

My friend Jacob (and his entire extended family which I have never met) was throwing me a surprise party (my birthday's in June) but invited me over to help set up (dumb). I walked in and one of his older female relatives told me I looked like Jacob's grandma when she was young. Another one walked up and said "No, she just looks like a grandma." For some reason I didn't find this offensive. Another relative walks up with a box of presents wrapped in christmas paper and says, "These are for you. We paid $17 for each one." I thank her and start opening them (at this point my friends Ryanna and Fiona are there too). They are all toys for children. One is this thing that is a board with balloons tied to it that stay near the board until you lift them up and then they float like they're full of helium. They have facts on them and other educational things geared towards first or second graders. In another present there is a barbie with blue eyeshadow. Then the girls and I went on a scavenger hunt (part of the party) but we weren't really looking for anything, just walking through a path looking in the bushes with every step. I found out that they had gone to Cuba without me and I got really angry that they hadn't invited me or even told me. When we got back there were more people there for the party. There was an area with very deep, bright green ivy and it was an outdoor bowling alley thing. There was an easel with a photograph on it (the type you see at weddings or bar mitzvah's) but it wasn't of me. It was of this boy River in my grade who is kind of weird and made fun of. I went to preschool with him. He was making a stereotypical commercial male model pose (like the ones you'd see in a JC Penny commercial on TV). I heard this boy Gabe say, "Jessie, bowl with me." I said I would when his friend Cole jumped out from behind him and said, "No, bowl with me." They looked at each other and made slightly angry faces.

I got a weird night's sleep last night. I made a sound file a few nights ago that has five hours of silence and then five seconds (a bit too long but I'm too busy to remake the file) of a sound and then an hour of silence and the sound and then another hour and the sound. I played it last night and I woke up at 4 when I heard the noise slightly confused and just really tired. I fell back asleep and none of the subsequent sounds woke me up at all. I also don't remember any dreams and I didn't feel rested at all even though I got about 3 more hours of sleep than usual. It wasn't the first time I had listened to the track and it woke me up every time before (and didn't prohibit me from getting a good rest) but last night I just didn't sleep very well.

Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

I know I had multiple dreams last night but I don't know where one began and one ended or if I only remember one dream so I'll just write it as one long chunk.

There was something about going to different classrooms in the outer reaches of the solar system (the space between each planet was a classroom, like the area between Uranus and Neptune would be one classroom). There was a lot about this but I don't remember much about it as it was in the beginning of the dream. At some point I was at "my school" and it was in this big field like space and a teacher or administrator walked up and told everyone to bring in rocks that were round because we would make planetary models out of them and they would become real solar systems (like we were playing god). I was happy because I knew I would have a ton of rocks for my project. When I got to school the next day I was mad because all of my rocks had been too oval or lumpy to qualify as planets. Then I was hanging out at school and a teacher (who does not exist in real life) who everyone seemed to like (though I knew I had never had) walked up and asked all of my friends if we wanted to go with her down to her car to get something. I decided to go with her and we went down a REALLY tall elevator to get to a parking lot out in an open field (not underground) where there was one car. It was a red hatchback and she opened the trunk, got something and then we returned to the elevator. It looked to be about 300 ft tall and looked like the glass was a portal to the stars (it looked midnight blue with stars and very realistic). The shape itself and the way it presented itself in the parking lot reminds me of the supreme scream at Knott's Berry Farm but only one of the towers. We were on our way up the elevator when we stopped on a floor where 3 cute 12th grade boys who are friends with my best friend's ex boyfriend were slumped up against the elevator eating blueberry pie with ice cream. They gave me a slice, the teacher a slice, and the teacher's toddler aged daughter (who hadn't existed until that moment) a slice. The one I like the most walked into the elevator with us after handing out the pies and then proceeded to spit melted vanilla ice cream up on the teacher's shirt. I high fived him and then we got back up to the "school floor".