Once again my inconsistency has hit me. After a while of failure it just seems so tempting to stop caring. Anyway.. I was on vacation for seven days and basically couldn't have an alarm ringing in the middle of the night because I'd wake up others. I did attempt to wake up in the middle of the night with mantras etc., but for the most part failed for different reasons. One time I laid down and hit what felt like SP. My whole body was feeling vibrations and tingling, but then I couldn't progress from there. I laid still and nothing happened. After a while I got up and did a RC which failed. It all felt very dreamy, and in the morning I thought I might just have dreamed it all, but then I guess the RC wouldn't have failed? Anyway, it's the only thing close to progress yet, and it really isn't.. The last two days I've woken up after 6:15 and done a WBTB. I've failed on both days because the WBTB wasn't long enough and I ended up falling asleep and losing focus. Tonight I'll have to do a longer WBTB and really put some effort into this. I'm feeling that my technique - with the counting and all - isn't working very well for me. Maybe I'm just being impatient, but it really feels like it either keeps me wide awake (after a long WBTB) or I accidentally stop counting and fall asleep (after a short WBTB).. I'm not sure what else try, though.
Alarm after: 3:10 Brief description: Woke up after 3:10. Was very tired and couldn't think clearly. Went to bathroom, drank water and fell right back asleep before I could count. Why it failed/succeeded: 3:10 seems to be too early for me, especially when I'm very tired. The main problem right now is that my bed time schedule is very odd. I go to bed around 3 am every night due to holidays, so after 6 hours when I hit my best REM period, it's light outside, people are moving around in the house, birds are chirping, and I really can't fall back asleep. On top of this I'm getting 10+ hours of sleep per day, so after a WBTB at 6 hours I'm not even tired. Surely this will change when school starts again, but until then it's a slight complication. I'm going on vacation for seven days, starting tomorrow. Therefore, there will be no more updates, but I will try to keep a journal and do a big post later on. Vacations and changes in environment usually give me DILDs, so things should be interesting. And either way, I will have lots of time to concentrate on WILDs the next days. Bye!
Alarm after: 6:15 Brief description: Woke up right out of a VERY vivid dream. Vision was clearer than it is in real life, but I forgot to write anything down and have now forgotten the dream. I felt good since I'd gotten right out of REM, and laid on my back and started counting. After a while I had an urge to shift and shifted onto my side. I didn't hit lucidity though, but also didn't fall asleep even though my thoughts drifted a bit.. I rolled over once more after a while, but nothing happened and I went back to sleep. Why it failed/succeeded: Not enough patience? I should probably stay on my back for longer before rolling over. Maybe I'm doing something else wrong? It's odd that nothing ever happens. No SP, no HI, nothing... 6:15 seemed like a brilliant time. I guess I take around 10 minutes to fall asleep, and after 6 hours of sleep my best REM period probably kicks in, which I'm awoken in the middle of. At least I can use that knowledge tomorrow. A problem was my lack of tiredness after 6 hours, though.. I just couldn't fall back asleep easily.
Alarm after: 5:00 Brief description: Stayed up until 3 am while reading. By then I was very tired and went to sleep, setting the alarm 5 hours later. When I woke up, I went to the bathroom, drank some water, and laid on my back, relaxed, and started counting. After a while I turned over, didn't feel anything and repeated. Gave up after what felt like 20 minutes? I think I fell asleep.. Why it failed/succeeded: I did not hit a REM period, I guess? There were some outward distractions like birds chirping, and it was light outside and thus in my room. 5 hours seemed like a good time since I was tired, but I never hit a REM period, so no lucid. Starting on the back was a great idea, it seems like I'm less likely to fall asleep that way. I need more patience when trying this, and if I could be tired enough after 6 hours then that would be much better since the REM periods are greater then, but that seems impossible for now.. Maybe when school starts. Tonight I will most likely go to bed around 2. I have nothing to get up for, so I technically have a long time to try in, but I tend to get impatient. I'll set the alarm to 5ish hours depending on how tired I am, and hopefully I'll hit a REM period.
If you are reading this journal and you have experience with WILDs, then I hope that you might be able to see what I'm doing wrong or what I could do better. That's one of the purposes of this journal; to get help from other, more experienced individuals. The other reason is that through lots of data I might be able to better analyze my failures. By keeping track of them and never failing for the same reason twice, perhaps I can reach success faster. I'm going to do a quick outline of my technique so you, the reader, can be aware of what I'm doing (wrong). Maybe I'll notice things too, as I write things down. - Set alarm to 4-7 hours after current time - Tell myself that my intention is to WBTB, and then perform a WILD - Wake up by the alarm - Sit up for 5-15 minutes, until I'm thinking clearly again. Grab water or go to bathroom if needed - Lay down in usual sleeping position, try to relax. This is done by relaxing tense body parts one at a time, and just feeling the relaxation - Start counting from 1 and up, while I see the digits scrolling through my inner eye This is as far as I have reached so far. What has happened is that I either fell asleep during the relaxation phase, fell asleep again before I could WBTB, fell asleep during counting or got tired of counting and fell asleep in frustration. So if you have any thoughts on why I don't have success WILDing, please post a comment. It would be very appreciated.
Date: 16/07 Alarm after: 6:30 Brief description: Couldn't fall asleep at 1 am because I had slept until 13:30 the day before. It took a good hour or two to fall asleep, so alarm was closer to 5:00 instead of 6:30. Realized I have to adjust alarm times according to how much sleep I got the night before for things to work out. Maybe one could create a personal formula? I'll try once I get some more experience/success. Anyway; stayed up for 3ish minutes before WILDing, because the day before I stayed up for too long. Counted to around 30 and fell asleep. Why it failed/succeeded: Messed up sleep schedule, 3 minutes WBTB wasn't long enough, alarm not kept in synch with how much sleep I had gotten, not enough focus due to short WBTB I got up around 10:00 and fell asleep around 2:30 which leaves me with 7:30 hours of sleep. I'm well rested. Tonight I'll WBTB after 4:30, stay up for 15 minutes and then hopefully reach lucidity. I could also use better mantras or something before bed, because I feel I'm often not sticking to the plan when I wake up in the middle of the night. By the way, I'm not sure how long exactly went by before I fell asleep, but I guess my alarm was after approximately 5 hours which seemed like a nice balance between sleepiness and being too wide awake.
Date: 15/07 Alarm after: 6:00 Brief description: Woke up after 6:00 even though alarm was at 6:30. Stayed up for 30 minutes this time. Tried to wake my mind, and ended up using the PC. Then I was too awake and couldn't fall back asleep. Counted to 321, switched sides, counted to 87 and gave up. Why it failed/succeeded: Stayed awake too long during WBTB OR 6:00 is too long OR 6:00 didn't fit with any REM periods I guess I'll stay up for 10 minutes tomorrow, without any electronic devices.
Date: 13/07 Alarm after: 6:30 Brief description: I got up, but thoughts were extremely irrational. All I could think of was going back to sleep, so I did. Why it failed/succeeded: Didn't stay up for long enough during WBTB. Maybe 6:30 isn't a good time? Date: 14/07 Alarm after: 6:30 Brief description: I must have turned the alarm clock off. But I don't even remember. I was too tired to even notice myself getting up and turning it off! Went to bed at 4, so maybe that's why. Why it failed/succeeded: Went to bed too late. Maybe 6:30 isn't a good time?
Updated 07-15-2012 at 12:38 AM by 35329
Three days ago, 13-07-12, I started WILDing again. I have previous experience but success has been irregular and I'm looking to get better. I'll be writing down each morning how my WILD attempt during the night has gone. Hopefully patterns will show after a while, and this journal will have value.. Template: Date: Day/Month Alarm after: Hours:Minutes Brief description: Why it failed/succeeded: I'll write down the last few days to catch up in the next post..
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