kindran

I was on a flight, which obviously was going down, so i tried to be a pilot... simultaneously i get someone how had some exirience with flighing an airplain. i was on the had, upside down, and then on the wrong side.

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I was part of an company, we tryed to make weed, or a sauna, some workers where there, they combined a sunlamp with an sauna, then there where some trobles, a worker bought machines, we dont really needet, the next they, other workers, they seemed better suited for the job, had build a good growing camber, the only thing, i didn't understand was the entrance...

then there was a fest, a lot of people came, including a friend of mine, selina, she was very nice, and tried to make a cosy atmosphere out of the place, which was not too easy.

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I went with my mother to in our house, than my brother came, and made some streß, i told him, that he should chill a bit, that everything is o.k, and there is no need for stress.

I went to a house, where ruth and her family lived. There is garden, the sunn is shining, i meet her mother, i try to apologise to her, they seem as if they themselves dont no what to say or to do, my mother is also there, she wants a nice table in the garden, so we all can eat together.

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I know, that there will be a port cast, it is a small house, and the gay looks like an oxford profesor, he is wearing an apron, and as the girl comes, he is quite nice to her....

I found myself in a large house, within there was a party going on. the party was organised by a friend, she had two more sisters, they where also there. we made a mess aut of the house, and i cleaned it up, because, i thought it is just too wild. her mother was also there, and i felt ambivalent towards her, i did not know if she is just a ritch bitch or if she is a nice understandig women.

then there where a lot of friezers in the bedroom of my friend. i told them, that they better watch out, if there is a war comming, people will come to get that stuff

then i was with rut in bed, we sturted making love,softlyand relaxed, a friend of mine was watching us, and i thought he will eventually go away, so i did not say anything. and he went after a while.

A big room, like a theather, or a music hool, i should play in an band, and we wanted to play something funky, but then on of the members played something out of a cd or so, and we did not mine until people came in, which could recognise if we are playing real or not

A staircase, i watched a friend, she was running up and down the stairs, she had an sm outfit on, some mask, and some big attechd thing on her tits, at the same time, i sad to rut (or was it another girld) that she should watch rut while she's running up and down, she should go before her, so she is able to see her face, as for my, i knew, that the scenerie is oddly made up, like a movie, so i thought there are always some cuts, and rut is running up and down, but in the end its just cut that way, so i can stay above, and watch while they are running. however, in the next scene, they - now there was also a man with my friend and also in an sm outfit, with mask and all that stuff - went into an elevator, it was reminiscent of an shoping center elevator, in that elevator, there were some kids, i thing four, or five, and i knew they had planned the hole thing with the internet, they sturted to do some session with my two friends, they began to give orders and stuff, but then rut (and i) realized that they where only kids, and they stoppt following there orders. the kids were a bit disappointed about the direction things were going, but we did not take them seriously, and as we were going, i sad to them, that it was alright to try those things, some sm and stuff, but they should also try some real, organig fucking, with there hips going up and down

I was in India, lost the people with whom i traveled. Found them again, showed them some pictures on which i saw myself making yoga while my trousers dont fit and one could almost see my dig. fuck... there was more and more but it can't remember.....

I was on a river shore with some other people, i was searching something, and i found an animal building directly on the shore, as i fumbled around on it, stones and two symbols came out, the symbols looked like some ancient art, and i wondert what it is, than it hit me, and i knew, that those are some kind of fertility symbols, i fumbled more, and a lot of those small pices oft art were falling out of the holes, someone told me, that the ancient zivilisation must have had hidden them there, so noone will finde it. i wanted to hide the pices, so not everybody could get them. but that feeling was not too intensive. my mother was also there, she took a swim in the river, and told me, that it was pritty cold, i wonderd shortly about that.

With some people i tried to move along some raile road tracks, but we moved in a sysem simular to a skilift, were you have to hold on to a kind of a stick which is attached to a rope, which is linked to the cable car. we had to hold us on those sticks, and we did pritty good, but then a difficult passage came, and the rope of my stick was not really strong enough, i worried that it might snatch and then i would fall down. so we were thinkering about to make it stable.

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i sat in the flat of a friend (a girl) i was waiting for her, so i think, i started to watch so porn of hers, not with her inside, but one which she had on her computer. it was kind of strange, a kind of bdsm porn, but in a weird way. in one scene, for example, a man in a car splashed some whater on a women walking on the sidewalk. however, i always had to close the porn because i though that someone came in and also, i wanted to watch my one porn. i was really aroused. then she came home and showed me a dress on her, and the dress was liftet so i could see her but, it was nice, i really wanted her.
in between i woke up frequently, and i thought about sex and arousal

The scenery was a bit rural... i met a fat girl and i had to go with her somewhere... she asked me, if i would like to go the "love way" i did not no wont she ment, but i though, why not... for that way, we had to climb down a ladder, we fell and landed into a bunch of sheeps, actually a lot of sheeps... so we did not hurt us. It was a kind of animal farm, everywhere where sheeps and as i explored it, i found a guy sitting behind a desk, the scene remindet me of a tinker sitting in his garage. he sad something to me: i should get an eye operation, so i would see better, i was not sure if i wont that, he sad i should turn around, and there was the black cat, trying to light the ofen or something, as i turned back back i saw a black man on the floor in the door case, he obvious, that he tryed the operation but something went wrong, he was not able to get the benefits, so i got more and more unsure, but the guy forced my and gave something in my eyes


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I met miland and vlasta. As i came into there flat, i hat to be carefull... rut told me, that they covered all the bookshelves with paper, so the dust would stay off.

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dreamed about our vacuum cleaner, a cleaning the bathtub withit, and i tryed to suck a lot of water into it. i mage the comperisson between an impotent man and an not impotent man through letting the aire out so the vacuum cleaner hat not much power to suck everything in, and letting the vacuum build up on the sucking entry, so it would suck everything in.

I was i some place, inside a house, outside was war, or perhaps something in that vane, i sad to my companion, that i had to meet my brother (i colled him before), i told them, that he could held us with his skills. than i looked at the clock, and saw that it was already ten o'clock and i was supposed to meet him at nine in Liesing. i could not call him for some reason...

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Driving down in a buss, where i used to live. I get out, to look at a restaurant which obviously had opend in a home for handicapt people. i went into that restaurant and in seemd somehow suspicious, there was a tank with a lot of fish, i somehow landed in it and i swam with the fishs, i saw some of them die, actually there where two tanks. and then there where small whales, i thought, they caught them unintentional, and they had no use for them, i felt really bad for them, because they semmed to suffer here.
then i got some food from the restaurant, but i did not pay for it, i thought about the not paying, but i thought the make enought mony, so i drove with the plate in the buss.

I drove to a gathering in the woods, there where many people, but we found a nice place to lay down our blankeds. we walked around and after some time, more and more people came, and as i walked back to our "camping site" is saw, that they sat down there sound system in our place, i had to finde our blankeds again, a guy helped my, to pull up some stuff from the audio system, so thet i could pull some t-shurts out. i made a joke, that i spare myself the ironing of the clothing by doing so.

I had a house and some people where there, we made a party and i sad, that we just use one part of the house (i think it was the garden) but the sturted to shift furniture inside the house around, and as i saw it, it made it clear that they could not party inhere, and i realised that it will be difficult to arrange the stuff in the way it was, because it was messy before... and there where a lot of antidepressents around.

I was waiting for something. Then i found myself in a staircase, there was a door, which i opend. Behind that dor a large apardment appeared, i found the father of a girl in the second floor, and i started to drink wiski with him. It was fun, and somehow, we decidet, that he should take his trousers off and play the piano, while doing that, he told me a story about a concert in which everyone just staared at his naked food, and he was iritatedby that, because he wanted that people hear the music he playd. However, i went on up and the stairs where really high to the third floor, and there, lived the girl (rut) i wantet to meet initially, she told me, that she may be pregnant, but she did not really know, she decided to let it go as it will happen. she also told me, that she did not feel to finde with her boyfriend.

There was a group of people, i had to observe. And i should kill someone of them, which i did. After a while, a friend of mine, should kill someone to, and i met him, bevor he drove there with the drum, to tell him, that he actually should not do it. i wontet do pay his ticket as well, and as i tried to find a one euro coin i found only a two euro coin, that worried me a bit.

Then i directly observed my enemies, watched them from a hill, and thought about what to do with them, i droped my cellphone down, so the head of them would pick it up, which he did, and then i thought i would blow him of with an explosive charge built into the phone, but instead i blow his car and on the phone came a message for him.

and then there was the scenery, in which i, and two friends, a girl and a boy, had to hid from them, but they came very close too us, and in that moment i understood, that you should breathe very slowly, when you hide.

I went into an store, with a girl, i think, we planed to sleep there, but some other people came, and they told us, we should go, it was not that clear... one of them liftet a paradox, which i, unfortunately forgot.

And in some scene, i stopt i round from a gunshot...

Im kind of flying up a tree, but it's hard to fly smooth, i'm worried that i might fall, because i do not have controll over my getting up, it requires strengh and concentration...

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I'm at a kind of a festival, where a film gets screend for the first time.. or so, and there is freud, i somehow come in contact with him and it turns out, that i shall hold a talk bevore the movie starts, but actually i dont want to... so i sit myself in the audience. after a while - the movie is playing - freud talks with me, he ask's me some personal questions, and i remember, that i do not feel comforable to discuss them with him right now. and i think to myself, that he is a real knows that question to ask... then he tells me, that i should not take jung as an example of an ideal... because he even could not really fuck.

Walkin with a friend (Stefan) in some kind of town around (akin to the inner city of zagreb), suddenly we see a dog walking the street, his tail looks like the tail of a collie, the torso like a dachshund and the head is a mixture german sheperd.... i love how he looks and i say to my friend, that i would like to take that dog, because he is not to big but and on the other side, he does not look too small...

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I'm driving in an tram with some other people, i do not know. I'm in a wheelchair, but actually i know that i dont need it, but somehow i find it comforting, that the people think i need it. Sometimes i get up, and do something, for example i hold the door of the tram open for someone i know, and at the same time i think about, why is it, that the do not seem do recognise that i'm actually dont need that wheelchair.
Than, at some point, we discuss, how they would help me pass through a window, with that chair and all that and i'm thinkin if it wouldn't be good to tell them, that i do not need that wheelchair....