false awakening

The good news: I HAD TWO LUCID DREAMS!!!

The bad news: I wasted them both.

It was all very confusing.

I was at this family party thingy. My aunt arrived and sat down at the table. My grandma was like "your aunt thinks everybody hates her". People around us went a bit "well, nobody LOOOOVES her", so I felt a bit bad and decided to go over there and say hi to her.

When I got there, I tried my best to be pleasant, but I messed it up and went all "hey, aunt X, how are you!? I'm glad you're here for the party! Why didn't you say hi to us when you arrived?" and she didn't take that very well, so she said she'd curse us all and left.

I wanted to go after her to apologise, but everyone was reacting to her words. I couldn't see anything very well, it was like my eyes were partially closed and I couldn't and I couldn't focus the little that I could see.

This is when I realised I was obviously dreaming. This type of thing only happens in dreams. However, I was sure I was about to wake up, since that always happens when I can't focus my eyes in dreams. So basically it went:

Me: I'm dreaming, obviously! I'll wake up now, though.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: ...uhm...?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: I guess I was wrong! Okay, this lucid dream is here to stay! Now what should I--

I woke up.

I fell asleep again and I was back to a family gathering. My cousin, my aunt's daughter, was extremely sad. I learnt that my aunt had killed herself, blaming us all for her suicide. I wanted to comfort my cousin, but she didn't want to leave the place. She said her mother was at the elevator. I told her that it was impossible and I went there myself to prove her wrong.

When I got to the elevator, my aunt's "spirit" was haunting it. She laughed maniacally and I flew against the walls of the elevator. I couldn't protect myself against my aunt, so I started praying to God. Somehow, that worked and I was able to get off the elevator, but I was still very confused by the whole thing.

Once again, the whole "I can't focus my eyes" thing happened. I was relieved to find out it had been one bad dream. I took a deep breath and decided what I wanted to do with the dream.

And I woke up again.

Except that I didn't. It was a FA. I "woke up" and I was terrified about the whole thing. I got off "my bed" and I found myself at this weird shop. It was like someone's attic, but full of clothes. My mum told me I could wear something, but I told her I couldn't. I told her that, in my dream, I had promised God I'd be different if he protected me. I felt like he had done it, so I was now under the obligation to keep my promise.

My mum was weary of that - we're not a religious family AT ALL - so we were leaving that place when I ran into my cousin. She was sad about her mother's death - which apparently really had happened, and not just in my dream's dream - and she looked sick.

We tried to help her and we found out her arms and her torso were all cut. There were old scars, from both cutting and burning. It was all very sick and I understood that my aunt had made my cousin do all that from an early age. And now, even though her mother was dead, she couldn't stop doing it. She was also very lost.

We kept trying to get her to open up to us, but it wasn't going very well. I ended up going to this weird house. The dude who lived there asked me for my help and I agreed to help him. Then, my cousin and her brother - also my cousin - arrived there. The first thing they did when they got there was to smile at each other. They said they could feel my aunt's spirit there.

It didn't make me feel good, but I shrugged it off. The dude told us he needed help to hide a body. That was when I realised he was covered in blood, and it wasn't his. I guess my promise to God didn't forbid me from hiding dead bodies, so I went for it. There were people outside trying to see us, they didn't know anybody was inside the house. So I got nervous they'd see me, but I woke up.

Oops. I had a lucid dream last night, I woke up around three in the morning and was wise enough to write some key elements down.

And then I forgot about it.

So:

I was at the same weird place I was in my last dream. Everything was dark and there were some weird dolls and I felt like I was travelling in time. There were some crazy weird spaceships there too.

I was walking around all the weirdness when it got SO weird I just automatically noticed that I was dreaming.

I could feel I was about to wake up, so I rubbed my hands together. I don't remember ever trying that, but I remembered that people always talk about it. It worked a bit, but not much.

Still, it worked well enough to keep me in the dream, so I laughed cause I was happy. Then, I spun around a little, cause I could also remember people talking about it. And anyway, I was happy.

Then, my younger cousin was there and talking nonstop, so I got annoyed. I decided to leave her talking to herself, jumped up and flew away. It was fuuunnn!

I ended up flying towards this really dark "tunnel" (it was in the sky somehow). I couldn't remember the TOTM, so I figured I could do the last one: blow up the world. It's my face TOTM so far. I could see the planet at the end of the tunnel, almost as if I were in space. I concentrated on exploding everything, which happened... which killed me.

I woke up. Except I was still dreaming. Stupid FA. In the dream, I wanted to log my lucid dream.

So when I DID wake up, I wrote it all down and here we are!

Four dreams (no lucid ones), so let's get this started!

First dream:

I was part of a group. We were all dressed in old, dirty clothes. We kept walking around, but the streets were abandoned. Finally, a guy, who was our leader, said that we should go to "the place". Many people were against that, but I agreed with him. In the end, we were the majority, and we started walking to "the place".

When we got there, it was an abandoned town and it was night, very dark. Our leader pointed to an old ship, made of wood, in the middle of the street. That's where we were supposed to go. Many of the men said again how against they were about this whole thing. The rest of us, still the majority, told them to suck it up and come with us already.

We entered the ship as quietly as possible. There were zombies walking slowly there. They didn't notice us at first, so we moved slowly and quietly, going to the place where they had kept their food before they became zombies. One of the guys tripped and fell, making the zombies notice us. We split into two groups. One that was getting the food, and one that was fighting off the zombies. I was in the second group, and we lost many people. We finally managed to get out of the ship with the food.

I looked up and saw many little boys watching us from old buildings. They were hiding there, and they seemed to be starving. Our leader told us we had to take them with us, as it was our obligation to make sure that our world, as fucked up as it was, still had a future.

I woke up.

Second dream:

I was walking with my ex. We were at this weird place, it looked a bit like a fair, except that we were also staying (as in, "living") there and we had classes to go. She was being a bitch (as usual), saying that she wanted to be with me, without telling others. I told her that high school was done a long time ago and that I'd not accept that kind of relationship again.

I left her and found this weird "class"/activity, where people had to pretend they were in a space ship in a very important mission. Our job was to play the part of the crew of the space ship, and our grades would be on our acting skills. The "teacher" didn't like me because I got there late, so he said I'd go first.. I sat down next to a guy (who I know, but only online) and we got ready for our mission. There was a screen in front of us and we watched as some of our fake colleagues were killed.

The teacher looked at me and told me to react. I looked back at the screen, raised my arm and shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The simulation ended and the screen started giving me grades on my performance. Everything was pretty average (there were about five items), but the final grade was "VERY GOOD!", so I turned to the teacher and smirked.

He said the machine was probably a bit broken, but fine, I had passed. Then he told the guy next to me that it was his turn. The huge screen started showing a new scene, where our space ship was broken. The teacher told the guy to react, so he got up and tried to shut the door of the fake space ship... and he broke it, including the machine that graded us and gave us the simulations. We all sat there in silence, not knowing what to do.

I woke up again.

Third dream:

I was living in a weird, tiny city. Everything was made of concrete and we had to share rooms, there were no houses. I shared my room with a girl I went to high school with, and, in my dream, I had a crush on her (she was one of the very few people I didn't hate in high school, but I never saw her that way).

I left and went to work, except that I never did go to work. I found the girl in the middle of the street and she confessed her feelings for me. We got together and it was pretty nice. Then, I told her that I had to go to work, but, again, I never really went to work. I just walked around aimlessly.

I went back to our room and she was there. We went to bed and cuddled. We talked a bit about random stuff, then I told her I had to get something from the bathroom. I left the room again, with no goal at all. I went back and she was crying. I hugged her and asked her what was wrong. She said that she didn't know, she had been having mood swings for a while now.

I somehow knew she was pregnant, and told her that. For some reason, we both knew it was my baby, even though we had started dating five minutes earlier. We were happy, though, so yay?

I woke up. I tried to WBTB and... had a FA (fourth dream):

I was in my bedroom, laying down on my bed. I got tired of trying to WBTB (), so I got up and decided to watch something on my computer. I started watching this weird film about a guy who worked at this swimming pool-ish kinda place.

Then, I was the guy. I kept having to clean the place and telling people to be careful, cause the floor was always wet. After a while, someone came in and told me that there were people planning on exploding a bomb in there. We ran out of there just as I saw fire coming from a corridor.

I was sad that my work had been destroyed and woke up.

And that's it...

A few dreams. First, I was at this old house and it was night. It was raining and I was in a bedroom with my dog. My dog really was my dog, but I had to take care lf him as if he were a baby.

Then, a woman who used to work for my family as a maid (like... ten years ago) entered the room. She looked at me and said "Sue (Sylvester, from Glee) and I were talking and we decided that I get you." and she showed me this big hook. I started asking her not to do this, but she just used it to kill me. I was bleeding and... well, dead.

Then, she looked at my dog and said "you're Sue's, but since I'm here, I might as well take care of you too!" but I out my arm in front of him. She looked surprised and I laughed. I said "I'm dead now, so you can't hurt me anymore! And you're not going to hurt Jimmy (my dog)!"

I started punching her. Funny thing, she wasn't there. I mean, in theory, she was, But I was really just punching the air. This is common in my dreams. Having to play pretend.

Anyway, then I kiled her (even though I couldn't see her). I threw her imaginary body out of the room and shut the door. Shutting the door was really hard (I often fail at doing that in my dreams, someone usuaally stops me). I looked around the room. It was dark and raining. I knew my dad was at the hospital, nothing serious. I wanted to call my mum, but I knew she needed to rest. I was really scared.

Second dream, I don't remember much. I needed to pee, I went to the bedroom. When I was a kid, I had a dream like this and I woke up to a very wet bed, so ot's like a trauma. So I decided to check if I was dreaming. At first, it seemed all right, but I checked again and I had six fingers.

I woke up... except that it was a FA. I didn't notice it. Don't remember what happened next.

Finally, my last dream. It's a bit confusing. I was in a sort of bar, but Iwas friends with the woman who worked there. She was telling me that we needed Harry and Hermione's help. I said I could talk to Hermione, since they were right in front of us, taking a test. I got close to her and she was mad at me. I startedkissing her neck and then she kissed me a little. She forgave me for whatever it was that I had done.

Then, I had to talk to Tyrion Lannister. He also worked at the bar, so I walked toward him and we tlked a little. He said he was going to help, of course, since we were doing whatever we were doing for his son.

I walked with Tyrion back to the part of the bar where the others were. I had flashbacks of someone betraying a group of people (many were killed). The survivors thught I was the one who betrayed them. This was somehow linked to what we had to do.

Then, we got to the that place in the bar. Abed from Community was there and he was apologising to the woman. He said "I know you got upset when I said I wouldn't come here today. I am here. And I promise I'll come here everyday. I honestly don't know whyI said that."

And that was it.

I've had many dreams... The first one is just a small fragment. I went into a public bathroom with my girlfriend, there was a line. Everything was dirty and broken, there were about five stalls, but two or three weren't working. Then, one of the girls started mocking another girl who was pooping. All the girls started making fun of her, it was like they knew each other.

The second dream is longer. I was on a bus, my dad was driving it and there were many people inside. I saw some black clouds and thought there could be a tornado. Then I remembered we don't have those in Brazil, so I figured it might just be a storm. As soon as I thought that, I realised I was in the US, so I was like "OMG, it could really be a tornado!!!"

While I was thinking that, I saw a playground and suddenly a hole opened on the floor and a toy fell. It was like a earthquake had happened, and my dad sped up. I checked as we drove by and there were no kids playing there at the time. That made me feel better. As my dad kept driving, we saw lots of holes appearing, not close to us, we could see it happening miles away.

We arrived at a hotel and I told my parents they had to hold my hands. If they did that, they'd be safe, but they wouldn't listen to me. My dad had mentioned that all the holes were appearing on the same road, so I decided to go online and google it. As I was leaving to "my" room, I noticed my dad was acting weird, so I told him he shouldn't go crazy. He laughed in a weird way that freaked me out.

I woke up... inside the dream. I was afraid of it being a false awakening, so I did a reality check that had worked the other day: I looked at the mirror. Turns out that, whenever I decided to do a reality check, my mind tricks me. I was completely myself in the mirror, so I was like "cool, let me write down this dream", but then I decided to google the road my had talked about. As I was turning on the computer, my dad randomly tried to get into my room through the window and he was laughing... he sounded demented. I freaked out and...

...woke up. This time for good. My heart was beating fast and I was scared as hell.

My last dream wasn't short, but I can only remember one small thing. I was talking to a friend of mine and he gave me a CD. He told me he had burnt his presentation for a class in there and that he wanted me to see it. I said I would, I put it on and the presentation was happening in a cave. And I woke up.

And that's it!

First of all, hello! I can't promise anybody, including myself, that I'll post my dreams every day... first, sometimes I don't have time. Second, sometimes I don't remember them. And third, I'm one lazy guy.

But here's what happened yesterday in the afternoon (27/01/2012):

I was sleeping, dreaming about Glee, when I woke up. Not a big deal, right? I went to my bathroom and my girlfriend was there, I talked to her for a bit. Then I went back to my bedroom and noticed that there was something weird with me. I looked at the mirror and kept seeing people walking by me. I freaked out, tried to pinch myself, but nothing was working. After that, I woke up. I was afraid of being ANOTHER false awakening, so I took lots of papers with numbers and started checking them. They were okay, so I was relieved. I went to the bathroom, I told my girlfriend what had happened and then I noticed my dog inside a bird's cage. I took him out of there and, again, I looked at the mirror. I could see myself, but I was turning my head, like the girl from The Exorcist. Once more, I freaked out. After some time, I managed to wake up.

Anyway... I hope to bring back some better news tomorrow! Wish me sweet, lucid dreams!