lucid

3/11/14

WBTB 7:30am, Awake 8:30am

WILD

Swimming in bedroom, can breath out of nose (RC). However, I realize that I'm having a WILD, instead of the MILD I was aiming for and am afraid of the paralysis and other things I might experience during a WILD, so I jerk myself awake.

non-lucid

Seeing video game (graal) bar, go behind counter and transported to volcano island level (like in the real game). Expecting the baddies that throw rocks to come but they don't appear. Like a vivid stream of thought.

non-lucid

I see myself in my large bedroom mirror. Extremely realistic. The figure in the mirror looks exactly like me, but I don't feel like it's me because it's acting on its own. It is staring intensely at me and starts to pull her face off, but I wake up before it does.

non-lucid

Listening to a church sermon at my home church. I remember the sermon being really good, but I shortly forgot it when I woke up.

I jerk myself awake out of paralysis with each dream out of fear of sleep paralysis. I was too excited during MILD to lose consciousness while transitioning into a dream state.

3/10/14

Awake at 7:20 am

Brushed teeth, went to the bathroom, hugged husband goodbye.

A little afraid to fall back to sleep and have a FA. I remind myself I need the sleep and this is the way I can achieve my lucid dream.

I visualize my dream plan and pray to God I have a lucid dream and fly. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

8:05 am MILD

I had a dream that I had a FA, but was scared and "woke up" but really it was another FA.

I went out my living room door, reminding myself that I'm going to try to fly. Some sort of cart in the hallway. Then I go outside to a playground/baseball field. I attempt flying many times with little success, so I use the things around to push myself up. Then finally, I'm dog paddling and swimming high in the air! I land and remind myself I need to stabilize the dream. So I rub my hands together. Then flew over to a dream character. There were three male dream characters. This one in particular looked like a past high school classmate of mine with brown hair and kind of a jock. I remembered the task of the month and asked him, "What's my middle name?" He replied, "Windy," took my hands and flew with me in the sky. (I got the task of the month wrong! Ha. I'm supposed to ask what his middle name is!)

At one point I travel down the sidewalks. With each step I float a little down the sidewalk. There are skaters on the sidewalk, one a young girl. I wonder if people who fly in dreams have the same stigma as people who skate in waking life.

I go back to my apartment, remembering that I need to wake up. I struggle to. At one point, my grandma enters the dream. I tell her I need to wake up. I go back to my bed and reach for my dream journal to try to write my dream down, but it doesn't work, I just barely write scribbles. Somehow, I'm hoping that in waking life I'm also writing things down, it never occurs to me in my FA that what I do in the FA is not affecting the waking world. It's 1 pm in my dream, I need to get up. Then, I reach over for hand lotion on my side table (though, in real life, this hand lotion is out in the living room), squirt some on my fingers and rub it on my tongue to try to wake myself up. It works, I'm repulsed by the taste and wake up.

Dramatic and passionate music sung by a man throughout the dream. A lot of "ooh, ooh, ooh" vocals.

Finished writing my dream down at 8:18 am.

February 25th, 2014

Mantra: あの草原に行きたい (I want to go to that field) 夢を見ることを分かってます (I will realize I'm dreaming)

Playing music as I tried MILD did not work out. I woke up around 2:30 am and tried it. Finally turned it off around 4 am. It kept my mind so aware, I couldn't fall asleep at all. I was up until around 5am and started dozing off around then.

5am lucid

While trying to fall asleep, I thought of moving to the couch to see if it would help. As I dozed off, I dreamed I had moved to the couch and was paralyzed. I remember seeing the TV off in front of me and feeling one of the blankets I use on the couch over me. I was in an upright position, slouched. I thought, I need to get unparalyzed and into bed, I don't want to fall asleep out here. Then I realized I am already in bed. I didn't like the feeling of being paralyzed so woke myself up.

Sleeping on my back triggered the paralysis. I rarely sleep on my back, but tried it to see if I would fall asleep.

February 23, 2014

3:33 am non-lucid

I had a dream that I went to Japanese camp to teach, but when I got there together with my husband who was dropping me off, I was having second thoughts. I didn't want to be away from my husband for 2 weeks, no cell phone contact. So I had to confront my employers, who knew me since I went to Japanese camp as a teen. There was a Chinese male and a white female. Went to the back room offices to talk. At first small talk, but the Chinese man could tell something was wrong. I hugged him at one point since it's been a while since I've seen him. When I mentioned how I didn't think this was going to work, he said not all marriages work out. Then I said hold up, no, I'm talking about the job. We were confused over the word pre-meditated, or a word similar to that, which caused the misunderstanding. The word's definition in the dream eluded to something not working out, not the definition in waking life. He told me to reconsider working there and how it is only two weeks and my Japanese would improve a lot.

The lighting was very dim, like nighttime throughout the dream. I remember going out and reminiscing over the camp. Then I went over to a bunch of children's books that were about mythical native American or Inuit creatures in the snow. Theme of heritage, culture being passed down. I read one of the books, which had a theme of pride in one's culture. The book had a few foreign words in it, but not in Japanese. It could've been a book about the same content, but in Japanese, yet it wasn't. I didn't understand why.

Before I confronted my employers, there was another worker in the dream who when found out about the cell phone rule, also felt she couldn't do that. She was short, I think her hair was pulled back, dark hair. Not a language employee, instead another kind of staff. Her face kind of resembled my piano instructor's. She was encouraged to speak up after hearing that I wanted to and has a husband too. She's older than me.

I remembering arguing to the Chinese man that if only my husband could work that summer too, but couldn't because of his job, implying that he should hire him and pay him to solve things.

When contemplating, I was leaning my head on a wall or pole.

I was having second thoughts before we even left to go to the camp, which is states away, but still decided to drive there with my husband.

I felt sad to be conflicted. Loved Japanese camp so much, but had to choose between keeping my marriage strong (which could end up fine even if I did work at the camp) or working at a place I loved and grew from. Reminiscent, though setting not at all like the actual camp, as usual in dreams.

The white lady resembled my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) instructor, who is pregnant in waking life and pregnant in the dream. Dream was in English and non-lucid.

I woke up with a song from Animal Crossing: New Leaf playing in my head. I immediately realized I had a dream when I woke up, wanted to record it and jumped to my dream journal.

Time after writing down this dream: 4:01am.

Mantra: 夢を見ることを分かっています (I will realize I'm dreaming) 野原に風で空を飛びたい (I will fly in a field using the wind)

I had asked my husband if he has had a flying dream before, and he said yes, many times. He recalled one in which he was being caught up by the wind in a field and flying really high. So I imagined using that method to fly.

4:07 am Haven't fallen asleep
4:15 am Still not asleep
4:40 am Still not asleep

6:02 am

Dream 1 MILD

I realize that I am dreaming and check through the thumb/palm RC. I am so excited to confirm my thoughts that I am dreaming by seeing my thumb go through my palm. I try to jump so that I can levitate/fly, excited that I am lucid dreaming, afraid to be short on time. The gravity is definitely not normal and I kind of float through the air as I jump, but I don't exactly get far off of the ground. This is probably because I'm inside a building.

Before I become lucid, my dream is set in my apartment at night and I feel there has been an intruder. The intruder is female and I could hear her have a phone call in Spanish and sing from my bed. My husband and I are both in the bed and I try to alert him but he doesn't really think there's any threat and just goes back to sleep. I am extremely afraid and I think at some point my husband does leave the bed and is harmed, but the scenario resets itself. I eventually realize I am dreaming and next to my bed practice jumping.

The dream is in English and was induced with MILD. Along with saying my mantas about flying, I also was a little paranoid about an intruder, though I tried to push the thought away.

Dream 2 non-lucid

I was heading towards a babysitting job for a Japanese family. When I met the mother, she talked to me in Japanese and I replied in Japanese, though I didn't remember any of the dialogue. She lived in an apartment.

I remember walking down the hall to the apartment and seeing her neighbors, who aren't Japanese. Her neighbors were intimate and I remember it being embarrassing to witness, but I don't remember what happened. I think their bathroom was in the hall and one was using the toilet, yet with no shame of being in public and still smiling and waving.

This was non-lucid.

I think I might've woken up in between the 1st and 2nd dream, or if not consciously thought in between the dreams that I need to write down my lucid dream before I forget, but instead moved onto a 2nd dream.

Time after writing down these dreams: 6:22am

This morning my husband woke me up to say goodbye before going to work. I got up and brushed my teeth (don't like the bad taste) then went back to bed. Like usual, before falling asleep I thought about the possibility of an intruder and worried I'd have another intruder, false-awakening, paralysis dream in which I knew I was awake.

I fell asleep with my cat on the bed and the cat was still sleeping with me in the dream. I remember seeing my window, which has brown curtains, and knowing that I was still sleeping. I could feel myself paralyzed in bed and wanted to wake up. At this point I was half paralyzed, as I was lifting up my arm, stretched out towards the window. In my thinking in the dream, I was half awake, but in reality it was all a dream and my real body outside of the dream wasn't moving at all. I thought if only I can move enough, then I'll fully wake up. Finally, I struggle off the bed and onto the floor, then hear a tune very audibly. It was unfamiliar to me. A few seconds later I wake up. When I wake up, I wonder if the tune was coming from outside the dream or fabricated in the dream (often I rely on cues from reality to help me wake up from false awakening dreams, like the radio or an alarm, but I didn't this time) and realized it was in the dream. I knew I didn't know the tune, but I wondered if it was the song from Helix that my dad sent me as a ringtone recently. It wasn't perfectly like it, but it reminded me of it. Now I don't remember how the tune goes. This is the first time that this particular reoccuring dream has had a tune in it.

This was all with the knowledge in my dream that this same scenario happens all the time, and when it happens an intruder will come or my husband will come home early. I want to wake up so badly because I don't want to face the intruder. This time I didn't face him at all. My last encounter with the intruder I was trying to block him from opening up the door and suddenly woke up (I wasn't aware I was dreaming in this instance). I've also seen him in person in the dream, an Asian man (my husband is Japanese), but looks nothing like my husband. But it didn't seem like he is going to hurt me.

Usually, I'm really scared of this dream happening. But now I want to face it and talk to the intruder. So I hope to post more dream journals here and track my progress on this particular dream.