One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy

Very unusual night so this will be an unusual entry. I slept 11h 17m. But I still don't feel rested.

I dreamed that my mother gave birth to a pair of twin girls. I either have a wife or I live with my sister. I also have a son and maybe another daughter. They might be adopted as well. None of my family members look or act as they should. I feel like I'm another person in another family. Anyway, we split the newborn twins so that my mother cares for one and I care for the other. This seems to be a point of contention in the family. I want the children to be raised a certain way while my mother wants another.

Then the dream skips around through the childhood of these children and I get to see the difference between the twin raised by my mother and the one raise by me. I recall one scene where we are outside a movie theater. Our kids get into a fight with a group of bullies. I break up the fight. Then my son starts drawing something on the sidewalk in paint and everyone watches like he's a virtuoso artist.

Throughout the night, this dream theme recurred in different ways. In one, I am sitting in a dark movie theater, watching a movie about the same storyline. My part was played by Dustin Hoffman. Which now reminds me of his portrayal in Death of a Salesman. Something about appearing on the cover of a magazine dressed as an astronaut. In another dream, I am married and either me or my wife is dying of cancer.

I mostly recall that all these dreams were emotionally charged. I have all this anxiety about family and being a father. Today I feel drained and tired.