solaetia

Apt # 4 again. I arrived there after being away for a while and found a note from an unknown organization that OF [old friend that I’ve fallen out with] might show up soon. I felt slightly stressed. Went in and cleaned the place up. OF never arrived, but OR [old roommate] did with someone else [mysterious, no face], and OC [old coworker] did with someone else [mysterious, no face]. I felt a little excited to unpack and rearrange, and thought of looking at maps for small towns to move to next. I thought about how my mom had kept renting this apartment for me on the side, even though I hadn’t been living here.
I was at a bar and I held an almost finished glass of water. MB was next to me and grabbed my glass, and I told her it was just water, and that I had a sore throat. I told her I wasn’t drinking alcohol anymore. She laughed and drank the rest anyway, and said, ‘you did drink too much.’
I remember walking down a long desert road, the kind of desert road that is at the foothills of mountains, rolling hills, lush with cactus, and beautiful. I also drove on a beach, close to, but avoiding the waves as they crashed in. The beach was northern and mostly sparse, a few jutting rocks and a few people.
Going back to apt #4, 2 dogs are out on the sidewalk in front, a small one and a larger chocolate colored retriever. The retriever was kind of defensive at first, but I found a nearby toy and deflected his anxiety and he eventually relaxed. He ran inside when I opened the gate. Ex [KT] was in my apt with a dog when I walked up the the door. He was sitting on my couch watching a video I had paused earlier on my little TV. I was angry, asked him what he was doing here. He told me I had planned it and said it would be good for us. I told him we had to cancel, I wasn’t up for it. He left and I regretted not telling him that I want his key back.

Thoughts:
I’m back at this transitional apartment. Should I be afraid? Prepared for some kind of struggle? Am I just comparing my current conditions to this place? I felt more together in this dream, not so angry. I have decided to not drink for a while. Maybe that is what this is all about.

I was working on the layout of an old newspaper and the image of a man at a radio station talking into a mic appeared. He said he had been working at this station since 1865 under the title of ‘Father of the House.’ I remember thinking he didn’t look that old, maybe only 45.

I was working at the cafe, very busy section towards the front of the house.
Two women together ordered food, changed tables while waiting on food so I had trouble finding them at first. One of the women told me she hadn’t ordered this dish: it was a baking pan of 4 enchilada-shaped objects wrapped in what looked like blue plastic. It was called ‘the Four Plastics’ and I remembered her ordering it but I didn’t argue. She said she had ordered the ‘Rhubarb Salad. Lots of detailed activity happened that I don’t remember well now- fumbling with computer and ordering food, fumbling at cash register and fumbling getting people checks. I was at the cash register and I could see a girl in my section was out of water. I grabbed a pitcher and I walked over to her. She was a regular (dream- but she seemed to be a younger female version of a waking life regular I used to know) and she had a drink when I got to her table. She said it was an accident that she gestured towards me, that she had been doing some kind of experiment/magic. She was only 19, had long auburn hair, giant round glasses, and an awkward face. She was nice, but very strange. I felt bad for her, and wanted to find a way to help her grow into herself, specifically initially helping her to speak in a more eloquent manner. But I didn’t say anything. I listened to her tell me and some other people how she was tiring about going to a costume party, but that she would probably stay at home and dress up at her place alone. Maybe as a tomato? I can’t remember.
We had a new chef and a new [manager?] at the cafe. They were loyal to each other.

I had a small black puppy with me behind bar at one point. It was scrambling in my arms and ran around behind the bar and up to the top to greet some customers.

At one point there was an ex president visiting. He was of an asian background and he lived in this town that the cafe waist now that he was retired. His daughter worked at the cafe. They had been eating and listening to audiobooks that we rented out- a long series of perhaps 12 titles, all written on his receipt that he handed me at the cash register when he walked up. Initially he told me, ‘Don’t freak out…’ when he walked up. I told him I was remaining relaxed. One of the titles had the word phantom in it. I had trouble ringing them up but I did the best I could. A woman manger came up to me later and told me to organize them in a better way. I told her I wasn’t sure how- but she shoved the receipt into my chest and walked away.

I don’t remember it happening, but my husband had left me. I had moved on to an ex from long ago and he had left me as well. Then I had moved on to yet another ex, and we had been living in an old apartment similar to one we actually lived in in real life. We had issues and then we decided to stay together but get different apartments. I found one that was slightly cheaper at $640/month in the same complex. He eventually left me too. I remember feeling sad that everyone seemed to leave me, that something must be wrong with me.
I woke up (false) on my bed with my jeans and t-shirt on. I couldn’t recall going to bed, thought I must have bee really tired and just passed out when I came home from work. As I laid there, I looked up and could see a bunch of bikes hanging around me, and a bike part on my bed. Then I saw my mom through a window in my bedroom door. She came in and I told her that my ex had left me. I told her I already had my own place, and she seemed to be trying to help me plan my future, saying, ‘That’s not so bad…’ about the price of the apartment. I felt sad about living in this city again, didn’t want to be there. She was giving me $160 for my birthday. I told her I wanted a bike.

My apartment was a the foothills of some mountains. In the valley there was a large river. It was beautiful, though I didn’t acknowledge it in the dream. To the southwest , and n the opposite side of the river, was another range of mountains, and one structure in particular looked like a giant rock monster. I imagined him as a mythological being, that sometime woke up and ran through the valley, creating the river bed. He seemed slightly scary.


Thoughts:
I think I’m subconsciously afraid that I am not treating my husband well enough and fear him leaving me. I think this fear is valid but not really applicable, as we have great communication and things are good with us. I think this comes from general anxiety within my self about many things in my life. The cafe dreams are definitely a reoccurring theme, and I suppose I feel like I am struggling to keep up with things and making too many mistakes. Again I think it comes from a general anxiety, maybe specifically over my career.

I was talking to a person that Ive never met before but we were talking about how we were each other’s soul mates, how were were the perfect person for one another. He was very young looking, brown hair, deep blue eyes. It felt like we had literally just met, reveling in each others presence, but like we knew for certain that we were connected.

Staying a tent city, had my dog and my cat. Each one kept escaping my tent periodically. Once I found my dog in a park with other dogs and wild animals running around. Once I found her in a store next to a stuffed cheetah or other large cat. The tents ere large, perhaps 10-person tents. Ailing closely next to one another, with paths for walking paths in between rows of tents. Sort of reminded me of a fantasy film, like this is just how people lived. There was a large tan stone castle or building nearby.

fragment- strange gathering.

I helped a man find/ save his wife. I remember running slightly behind him as he caught to her, they embraced and then continued running, me following. Were were supposed to jump on a train together but I missed the train and was left behind at this remote station at night in a foreign country.

Thoughts:
I didn’t sleep well, but was in bed for a while so I woke up feeling rested. I think there were a lot more dreams that I forgot.

I was working on [something?]My mother wanted me to help some woman clean houses in WA state.
I could see a field near the ocean, with a series of identical 2 story brick homes facing the beach.
My right shoulder hurt. Someone suggested selling my shoulder muscles as implants, because people did that apparently. I looked at my hand and my fingers were dirty.

I woke up sleeping on my right side in a weird position and my shoulder hurt. Fell back to sleep after reading for a while.

I was traveling with my mom, dad and little brother- my brother was only 5-6 years old and my parents were young. We stopped at a brick apartment/hotel. We were only supposed to be traveling for 1-2 nights so I didn’t bring a change of clothes, only a couple of different shirts. We had dropped off our things at the hotel and I was trying to barricade my dog inside so she could see out of the window but not get out or destroy anything. My dad wondered if the lady managing the apartment was trustworthy. She looked like an old boss of mine. I was at the car but decided to go back inside to grab a sweater or something. I encountered the manager opening the door to our room or the house as I was trying to, and I wondered briefly if my dad was right to suspect her, but she seemed nice so I didn’t worry too much. I think I decided to grab my dog and bring her with us.

I briefly remember being in a car with an old schoolmate, someone I haven’t thought about much at all in many years. Weird.

My dad was driving, it was very dark out, and he didn’t have the headlights on. I was in the backset with my brother, mom was in the passenger seat. I screamed, ‘I can’t see!’ and my dad turned on the headlights just in time for us to see he was veering off a bridge/cliff. He almost corrected it, but the back end of the car had fallen off and dangled for a moment before tipping. We were falling but we couldn’t see what was below us. I had hope it wouldn’t be far, but the longer we fell, I realized we would all probably die. I held my mom’s hand with my right hand but I could only see the hint of her blonde hair in the darkness, and I held my little brother’s with my left hand, I told them I loved them and tried to stay calm. I woke up.

Another fragment—
I asked my dad where my dog was. Then I saw a car parked in the middle of the road ahead of us.
It was daylight, sunny. I saw my dog jump out of the car, wearing a red harness-type device. It was mesh and covered much of her abdomen, and one of her hind legs were stuck in it, so she couldn’t run or walk properly. I ran to save her, but she kept running from me. I finally grabbed her and my dad intervened and was rough with her, pushing her in the face. She bit in in defense, and it was bad. I felt very angry with my dad for treating my dog so violently. I yelled that she had never bitten anyone before and it was his fault. I worried he would tell and she would be quarantined or taken away from me. My dad looked upset, but stoic too. I eventually asked him he was ok. The bite was on his thumb and it looked deep.

Thoughts:
This all seems pretty straightforward, I didn’t feel safe with my dad. He also treated animals rather callously, although he did love them. As far as the first dream of my mom wanting me to clean houses—maybe I feel like my mom wishes I were more conventional and responsible.

I worked in cafe but it was a different building than in waking life, a nice big space. It was evening or late at night and we were getting ready to close. I was attempting to make vegan cookies and trying to find some vegan chocolate I could add. I remember seeing a Christmas tree that was in an adjacent room, and I unplugged, or plugged the lights in, I can’t remember. A lingering customer was remarking about how slow I drove my car, and I had an image of my [dream] car, with the entire front smashed, like a memory of a crash. I told him I drove slow because I had once crashed my car, and I showed him a fading bruise on my right inner bicep.
Outside, me and co-worker (old friend?) were going to our cars when we noticed two suspicious men on the roof of the cafe. We ducked down and tried to hide behind some structure. I think the men could see me, and I decided instead of remaining in hiding that we needed to distract them. I made an urgent look to a customer that was also outside- some man- and he seemed to get it and we both loudly talked about something and started to go back into the cafe.


Fragment: Editing some trailer or excerpt of a movie. Lots of problem solving dreams last night of this kind. Designing, editing, creating. Left me feeling tired when I initially woke up.

Wrote down notes on dreams, read a little and went back to sleep. More dreams below.

I was in my front room with my husband. We were sitting on the couch and a giant black bear was excitedly trotting back and forth between the couch and the front door, like my dog does when she wants to go out. In fact, the bear completely had my dog’s essence. I jokingly asked my husband, ‘Want to let her out?’ I got up and walked on the couch to reach for the front door, realizing that the bear could attack me at any moment. I opened the door and watched the bear run out and run down the street. I briefly wondered if I should warn the neighbors that a bear was running around.

I was making a movie with some people- maybe I was related to the director? We were hanging out on an urban street sidewalk, in an area that looked like an east coast city. An old male actor was standing next to me, and a slightly chubby man (my relative?). After a few minutes of discussing the movie or something else, we went inside a door behind us and it was this old man’s apartment. The carpet was old and stained and there were various rugs around. He mentioned something about liking my dog, or enjoying having her there, and he had a large dog that came in and tried to get near my dog but she seemed defensive. In the kitchen on the counter there were 3 bubbling pots- one was a tea kettle I think, the other perhaps coffee? And the third was apparently and experiment I had going on in a giant mixing bowl. It looked like bread dough in water with cayenne pepper, and I added something like apple cider vinegar. I have the idea that it was fermenting, not boiling.

I felt like an outsider. My mom and my brother were there. They each got a text from my aunt asking if they were going to the annual family boat reunion. I never attended this (dream event) but I was slightly hurt that I didn’t get this text as well. I was playing on my iPad/iPhone, editing movies or watching clips of a movie I was working on.

I was catching rides on large cruise-like boats by walking into the center of a bridge and stepping out as the boat passed under. I was able to step directly onto the boat without jumping using this method. Soon though a boat came and I wasn’t able to get on, but I notice a crowd of people, including an attractive woman around my age, were able to get on that boat in a way I couldn’t access. Then another series of boats show up, these are smaller, and several groups of teenage girls are on the bridge with me. They are dressed like they are on a sports team, mostly red and white colors, and they jump into the water next to the boats, or jump directly on the boats themselves. I contemplate doing this and then decide those boats aren’t for me and I think it’s too dangerous to jump anyway. An old school friend is near me and she agrees. I decided to wait for the next boat.

Thoughts:
A lot of this seems mundane. Bears are a common theme for my dreams, they used to be nightmares, now they just show up randomly. Im not sure why this one seemed like my dog, if that means anything to me. I think bears mostly symbolized anxiety for me in the past, or my father…now they seem to symbolize something that I am slightly afraid of, but think I can get around.
Boats and water are reoccurring a lot lately. These definitely seem symbolic, perhaps of subconscious emotions, or finding ways to navigate those emotions.
I live far away from my family, and have for a long time. I love them but I don’t want to live where they are, and it’s hard for me to travel to see them very frequently. I suppose I do feel left out, and although I talk to several of them frequently, I worry if I will regret this one day. Or if they think that I don’t care about them as much as I do. I am very introverted and could go days without talking to any human and be fine. I often realize that I have gone a while without reaching out, and wonder if I’m more oblivious than others when it comes to maintaining relationships.

I was on my way to the airport to pick up some cousins(?) coming from both KY and Germany. A woman I work with was also arriving there and was there to work with us. I was ready to go back to the car but she said they were going to stay at the airport and work for about 9 more hours. I left without them, not feeling rude or worried at all about how they would get to my place.
Eventually we were all back at my place (dream, never been there before) and working on something around a coffee table. Tan carpet. Bland furniture.
Then I was living (or my parents were living here) in a giant, beautiful house with a large backyard and a pool that I have dreamt about before.
There seemed to be a kind of party going on, it was perpetually evening with lowlight but not nighttime. An old friend was there, other forgotten people, and several exes. Each ex showed up by themselves and claimed to still have feelings for me. I didn’t think it was a good idea to revisit any of these relationships, but I did tell one that we could just maybe hang out as friends for a while and see how things went.
In the pool and I saw a crow underwater, like it had drowned. It seemed to be stuck against the side of the pool about 3 feet below the surface. I felt sorry for it but did not think about it for long. I saw my old friend goober and attempt to grab it but she couldn’t reach it for some reason. Eventually one of my oldest exes swam over and without a word managed to get it and put it on the side of the pool. I looked it the crow, sopping wet, and felt sad again and that twinge of whatever that feeling is when your around something that is dead.
Then the crow started to move! It slowly sat upright and seemed to be practicing opening and closing it’s beak. I exclaimed to my ex: It was DEAD!!! It is coming back to LIFE! (Good chance to become lucid here, but alas) I moved towards the crow and it looked my way, but in the way that a blind person does, like the crows eyes weren’t working very well yet.

I walked around the pool and patio and collected clothes. Actually just several pairs of my pants, all drenched and muddy from apparently being rained on? Not the kind of wetness that comes from pool splashing. Next to one pair of pants were two black runes with white markings on them. I also picked up a tweed tote bag, still with a tag on it.

Two different people at this gathering had journals that used to being to Obama— one was like a brainstorming journal with sketches and notes and the other was more planned and put together.

I was in a small circular room, and my perspective was from the ceiling near a wall. I seemed to be floating without a body. I watched a woman do weird hand tricks with snakes. All I could see was her arm (not sure how, I know there was a small audience in the room too) The snakes ranged from normal size to giant, perhaps the girth of a couch. the biggest snake was yellow. The woman’s hand made odd formations and touched the snakes periodically on the heeds, which transfixed them, and kept them from biting her. She almost got bit once, but managed to pull off some amazing stunt with her hand and the snakes left the room one by one.

Thoughts:
Different kind of ex dream here. The perpetual evening of this dream gave it a particularly surreal vibe. The backyard and pool were comforting, the kind of feeling I’ve had when vacationing at really nice homes. Safe, warm. I’m not rue what the crow means. Crows in waking life are important to me, so it isn’t unusual for me to dream about them, but these circumstances feel a little symbolic, but Im not sure of what.
I’ve had dreams of large snakes before, several times in fact, but this one felt almost shamanic.
The Obama reference, just weird!

With my brother and telling him about my friend’s band, listening to them. I tell my friend that they should (re?)name their band Weirguild. I thought about how I had a new apartment to unpack. I wondered if I should go there now, or if it would be better to wait until later.
Suddenly I remembered that I had left my dog at daycare, which was an old apartment I used to live in (#4). I grabbed money but I realize I never saw her enter apartment I just dropped her off in yard. I felt panic rising.

With an old friend (JM) on a bus. She runs thru open bus doors to get out at stop- this seems like a strange thing at the time, like a feat she accomplished. The people on the bus are looking at her in astonishment. It was like she somehow jumped from our bus to the street through another bus into the street again.
We are walking to ? My dog’s vet? We get there and there is a dog that looks like just a head and no legs. He has a tan retro military shirt or hat on. A face that looks almost human. I say he looks like a [military] vet. I know someone who works here.*

Thoughts:
My brother loves music, he also plays some instruments. This particular friend is in a band, and I haven’t talked to him in a long time. Last time we talked he asked me if I had listened to his band yet. (He sent me some links to their music) I felt guilty because I hadn’t. I’ve been phasing this friend out of my life, not because I don’t care for him, but because we had a FWB situation before I met my husband, and my friend admitted feelings for me when I became unavailable. We’ve parted ways in an amiable way, but I don’t think he understands why Ive been ghosting him, even though I have tried to explain it in the past. I said it wouldn’t be fair to my husband, but in reality I felt it would be unfair to my friend to continue being a part of his life if he had feelings he needed to get over.

I was entering an auditorium for some kind of job-related announcement/seminar. Donald Trump is there. The crowd was told that they can’t stay unless they are wearing a certain kind of shoes or attire. I looked down to see I am wearing a pair of strange high-top black with white markings canvas tennis shoes. I had to leave. Someone tells me I should have worn my silver shoes and I feel irritated by this remark.

I went to my apartment, which is similar to an apartment I rented in waking life over 10 years ago. My mom was there, she tells me that Donald Trump has bought the company I work for. I told her he did not, I don’t even work for a company, I work for one woman who calls herself a company. My mom laughs at me, telling me Im wrong. The way she is treating me made me angry. I asked her where are her facts?! And she sort of went catatonic, looking off to here right, not acknowledging me. I yelled at her but Im confused why she isn’t answering me now. Then I realized I was dreaming. I still felt angry so I pushed her and then I decided I was going to through the television out of the window. We were on the 2nd floor, but since I knew I was dreaming i knew there would be no consequences. I did this, and then I left. I was outside on the drive with my dog and I decided to fly. (ho, hum) I had my dog under my left arm and I was holding sandals in my right hand. Once I was floating I realized I didn’t need to hold onto my sandals and I could let my dog to the ground as well. I thought about running with my dog too. The outside of the apartment and the street are almost identical to the apartment I rented over 10 years ago. (#4) My husband wakes me up to tell me he is leaving for work.

Thoughts:
This apartment seems to be an important location. In waking life I lived tree for only a year. When I moved in things were great- I was dating a new guy, I had just started a career I loved, I could pay my bills and I had friends that I went out with regularly. Over the year that I lived there my drinking became out of control, my closest friendship enabled my bad habits. We were robbed together at gunpoint down the street from this apartment while walking to a nearby shopping center. I starting dating a drug-addicted-sociopathic-compulsive liar. I lost more than one good friend and a good job. I ended up moving out of the place and into the house that my crazy partner lived in with some friends. This was the beginning of one of the roughest periods of my life, but that ended up teaching me a lot of valuable lessons. Maybe the apartment symbolizes a transitional period between good and bad?
The dreams where family members hate me or treat me horribly are so common now that I have decided to really focus on becoming lucid in these moments. Instead of throwing things out of a window and flying off though I would like to do something else. Something to break this cycle. Maybe just tell them I love them?
Shoes were a theme in this dream too. I guess they must symbolize how I feel about myself compared to others.? And how dare Trump invade my dreams!

I was at a mechanics to get my car fixed. A song came on the radio (some old R&B or funk song) that I liked, and I felt happy. I told someone that my Dad used to love this song. I started flowing around the parking lot. Realized I was dreaming and became lucid. I flew into the sky and saw 3 blue jays flying near me. I decided to fly next to them, but one of them looked wary of me so I sped up and flew really fast towards the mountains in the distance. I was high up, and there were clouds, and it was beautiful. I landed on the highest peak of the mountain, and I discovered a small room just inside of the rock I landed on. It had a small branch carved into the stone and an olive-green cushion to make the seat more comfortable. There were 2 windows carved into the stone as well, and I looked back out towards the area I flew from.

As I climbed down I lost lucidity. I walked past a house that was partially open (missing outside walls) and I saw an area with lots of shelves and interesting [nature-based?] art. All I can really remember about these objects is that I saw leaves and wood.

I needed to take a shower before a road trip. I had trouble deciding which shower I would use. I knew I had hours until I needed to leave so there was no rush.

I was living in an apartment complex and driving home through the parking lot. I knew I needed to pay my rent but the office was closed. I saw who I thought was the office manager outside talking to another person and I briefly thought maybe I would just walk down and pay the rent to her. But when I parked near the office I saw that there were designated slots to put your rent check in after hours and I decided I would do that. My last name was completely different than my maiden or married name: Polley. First name was the same.

Thoughts:
I have no idea. I have been getting good sleep the last few nights. The lucid dream wasn’t the most lucid I’ve been. I will have to think about these for a while.

Waiting tables, in the weeds. I had to take ashtrays to outside tables to switch out
and I put a bunch of tiny (dirty) ashtrays in my mouth so I could have room to hold other things in my hands. Realized this was gross and removed them, but I think a customer or two saw me.

With an ex (EB) and I was miserable, told him that he needed to move out and he said he wouldn’t but I was determined to get away from him.

Then the situation became a girl that wanted to blackmail me, and she wouldn’t leave unless I gave her money. I can’t remember what she thought she had on me. I kept telling her to move back home, which I think was Florida.

I had a different partner, and even though we were on the verge of ending things, his mother was trying to help me make the girl leave. I was thinking about moving, maybe we were ending things because of this. I remember looking at a map of his mom’s house, the key had the textures of the floors of each room.

Partner and I discussed him throwing a bday party for me, to let friends now I wouldn’t be around for a while. He decided to buy them all tickets to a concert instead of a party. I thought this was weird. (But I guess it’s weird that he would be throwing a party for me that I wouldn’t even be attending.)

Thoughts:
I hate these old ex dreams.

I was walking to my car and it was engulfed in a hedge growth. I tried to break through to sit in the front seat and wait for [someone]. My cat appears from a tree and the branch bends and lowers her to the ground- she looks as if she might fall but doesn’t.

I am still outside in the same area. I see a squirrel and I bend down and it comes to me. I don’t have anything to feed it so I get up before it approaches my hand.

I am in trouble in school, and I have to stay behind for in class detention along with around 5 other students. The teacher is a woman that in waking life I don’t recall ever seeing before. She doesn’t like me, as if I have behaved terribly and deserve no respect. She lets the two students she likes go home, and ignores us. The two other students and I get angry at how she is treating us. I get up and move to leave as well, and I knock things off of her desk.

I get a newsletter via email titled ‘The Dawn of the Voice.’

Thoughts:
The newsletter is probably a reference to a design job I might have to work on. I slept well and all the way through the night last night, but I felt frustrated this morning that I didn’t wake up immediately remembering my dreams. Once again I feel like I am not being very mindful and feel more determined to practice awareness and ramp up my meditation times.

Outside view of ‘my house’ [not house in waking life] It is dark outside, but the house is white and lit by moonlight. On the roof there is a small cemetery. Suddenly I am in the house, upstairs, near the window facing the cemetery. I hear a voice whispering my name: ‘soooolaaeeetttiiiaaa…I’m looking for sssooolllaaaeettiiaa…’ I open the window and there is a small creature with a black hooded cloak. It asks me if I will tickle it. <This sounds way more scary as I type it than it was experiencing it. The creature, although it’s skeletal face was mostly obscured, seemed benign.

I was working at the old cafe, but we had desks and small 8”-10” retro monitors. One of my monitors just said ‘baseball’ in white type on a black screen. A man who was either just hired or a new client hovered over me as another boss/employee explained what I was working on. I felt my space was being violated. Later, I was in the restroom and a man walked in looking around for things. I yelled at him to get out, and he argued that he knows what I look like and isn’t interested in me, he just needed some things from this room. Again, I felt violated.

People from the cafe were boxing up there things, I was one of the last people in the building. I had three bags and many different clothes and shoes that I was trying to gather and decide what to wear. A girl was lugging her things out and remarked on all the people being jailed. I responded that I was surprised or something, and she asked me in a slight shock if I wasn’t being arrested too? I said no they hadn’t arrested me, and she seemed to think that was unfair and continued on her way.


Thoughts:
My dreams seem uninteresting and meaningless at the moment, and I don’t feel like I am gaining much insight- expect that I am not very attend to my inner self at the moment. Maybe that’s the point. I feel distracted by things going on in my waking life. I know though that continuing to journal I will have some break throughs and get back to where I want to be, and hopefully progress from there.

I was with a mutated-dream-version of friend and their family. In my dream, their oldest son, who was still a child, had recently passed away. They still had one other young son, and I was talking to him in a mall that we were all shopping in for a new bed for the little boy. He asked me if the bed was going to be for [dead son]. I felt sad and confused on how to answer this.

I was working in a restaurant setting and a co-worker told me that I had forgotten to bring a mat over when I brought the flatware. I recalled seeing this blue mat (maybe something that you would lay dishes on to dry?) so I went back to the area I thought it was and grabbed it. I felt a sense of satisfaction because I suspected my co-worker wanted to get me into trouble.

dream fragment- Two newborn lion cubs, maybe more. Not in a wild setting. Another human present and we were commenting on the cubs but I don’t remember what we said.

Thoughts:
This friend of mine and family are in town right now and I probably won’t see them before they leave. The restaurant dream is a common theme for me. The co-worker in the dream was in waking life a girl I went to high school with that I haven’t talked to in many many years. Finally not a dog-centric dream!

I was on a dark street with my dog (I seriously must have nothing else going on in my life) and she suddenly ran off toward the river. I was shocked because she has never done this, and she was ignoring my calls. I finally caught up with her but I didn’t have a leash. I thought it would be a good idea to put her in my car (I can’t remember what I was doing at the time, but I was going somewhere that wasn’t home.) I held onto my dog’s collar as we walked back and I encountered a drunk man that I apparently knew as a regular in a restaurant I worked at. He made some random comments that I don’t remember and I felt slightly uncomfortable. I went into a theater/pub where two of my friends were. One of them had my car keys. The first one I encountered, Amy, was announcing someone to the crowd. I tried to get her attention but couldn’t. I saw my other friend, Angi, and she gave me my keys. My dog morphed between my current dog and my last dog, who passed away almost a decade ago. This is not uncommon. I also remember driving by an outdoor laundromat during the day, and thinking that I could work there, that it didn’t seem so bad. The place was basically a parking lot with one or two washing machines/dryers and a stand with a bunch of hot pink and bright blue flowers for sale.

I had dreams of trying to solve graphic design problems too, in fact I thin this is what the bilk of my night was spent doing. I'm currently taking some courses, and I guess my brain is working overtime.

Thoughts: I took Valerian Root before bed last night, probably falling asleep around 12:15am, which is late for me. I read some design books in bed before sleeping. My thoughts seemed to be racing again—not very stressful thoughts, but my brain struggled to relax. Again, visualization practices seemed difficult and uninteresting. Woke up at 3am and read for an hour or two, fell back asleep around 5ish. I'm taking my dog to the vet today for vaccines. Looking for part time work.

1. I went into a basement level shop to check on the alteration of a bra/corset. It was metallic grey. The shop couldn’t find it.

2. My dog was recovering from a surgery of some kind, (injury on one of her hips/hind legs?) and I decided to stay with Jane, a woman who used to work at the dog training facility we attended. In my dream I only lived a block or so away from Jane, and it was total dream logic as to why I needed to stay at her place. I remember her asking me, and I told her that I knew she was trained in case something happened while my dog was recovering. She seemed to disagree that she was qualified, but I justified it in my mind. Later though, I remember thinking I should gather up my things and go home so I started to do that. Just then, some people came to Jane’s front door- a group of meshy-looking adults that seemed to want to sing for us. They had 2 dogs and I held my dog back and said she wasn’t good with other dogs (partial lie). They came inside anyway, and stood around us and seemed intimidating. It was a mixture of men and women, specifically I only remember the pockmarked face of a man with a mustache. I decided to continue gathering my things and bolt. I had an old long blue car, maybe something like circa 1970s. It barely ran, and some people in the group made fun of me as I drove off. I said, ‘This isn’t my only car!’ The way in which I was driving was more like me on a toy car (sitting on top of a small car) which is common in my dreams.

3. Ordering dog food online. This felt like a longish session of me being unable to make a decision on what type and size food to order. ???



Thoughts: I went to bed after a full day of work and exercise. I took a melatonin because my mind wasn't feeling very tired. I read for a while and then slept like a dead person until @3am, when I woke up and remembered just a small portion of the corset dream. Read for about an hour and a half, tossed and turned until I fell back asleep. Thoughts more active than usual, had trouble quieting my mind, and visualization did not come easily. I'm not sure what these dreams mean if they mean anything. My dog has an upcoming vet visit for a vaccination. She was a little sick the other day but otherwise very healthy and happy.