Searching For The Center of Everything

[Saturday, October 20th, 2012]
(This is my first true recall in a few days. I've been with Alex, super stressed off and on, getting stoned and drunk... So this was new and refreshing to recall a dream for once.)

I'm at an unfamiliar home, but I see my old friends, The Everette family. Caleb, Jonathan, Aaron, and their Mom. Isaiah and their Dad, I can't find. In this new home, I fumble through games and movies like I used to when I visited them. I talk for awhile with some of them, and go outside a few times. Suddenly, everyone is leaving. They aren't here anymore. Their Mom must have taken them to church or something-

My Mom pulls up, or something and my memory fades. The next thing I remember, I'm driving down a Phoenix road trying to figure out my way home. In the upper right corner of my vision, their is a Minimap like in WoW and Google Maps of the road. I'm going the wrong way, but it reroutes a way to turn after awhile I do turn. I make it back all the way to a Highway that leads to my home.

[Sunday, October 14th, 2012]
<later in the day, I take a nap>
<dream is foggy, I forget to write this down and it vanishes>

I remember summoning a 18-wheeler to come pick me up and bring me somewhere. We were on V.M. road and heading north, and as we passed the train tracks and took the bend to the left- we came to an obstacle. There was a giant wall in the road. I turned around and did something to a giant rock behind me. A triangle with an eye appeared and the triangle began to spin around the eye. It glowed a thick white light and shot out a beam of light towards the wall. The wall glowed with white veins and the wall opened.

(Everything resembled futuristic, alien technology- and it was pretty neat to watch.)

[Sunday, October 14th, 2012]
(Around 3AM and I wake up and remember quite a bit. I've been sleeping for along time. A LONG TIME.)


<dream had more before this, but this is where I started to remember>
I remember being ontop of a building's roof with a few other people. There is a small lake between me and the rest of the land. In the small beige-mud lake, there is debris everywhere and people scattered through out. Whenever I come close to the edge of the roof, a giant tenticle shoots out of the mud and tries to hit me. I hit it with a weapon before it sinks back down. Eventually, it becomes like WoW... when the tenticle pop's back up- I command the rest of my "raid" group to attack, and all of the people drowning in the mud all leap out and attack the tenticle. I begin to shoot it with some kind of range attack as this is happening. It sinks back one more time before I lure it back up for a final attack. We did it! Everyone is teleported to the dry land. There's a neat looking Mage Staff with a star at the end of it for loot. A few people "roll" for it- in a new way that I don't recognize. I leap from piece of debris to debris all the way across the swamp and as I'm climbing up a small hill to get to the land, I realize that I'm a low level but also the leader of the group. I walk up to the loot on the ground and try to right click on it, but nothing happens. I try to ask how to roll, but I'm teleported to Stormwind or some other city in real life before I have a chance.

In this other city, I try talking to the Raid but realize I've left the group and that it was a Guild group- that I can't talk to since I'm not in it now.

+

I'm leaving town to go up Yarnell hill with my Mom and maybe Casey/Nathan. We're on our way up the hill, and we must have been walking. We walk up the hill faster than usual and we notice that some parts of the railing going up the hill have been smashed and damaged. There've been reports of someone vandalising the rails. We make our way up the hill and we find a cave. It's a giant cave temple- that I tell my Mom is a "Shaman Training Temple" inside, we see people who look like WoW characters all standing around, as if they're really Shaman Trainers or people to buy things from or Questgivers. We walk up to the middle of the giant cave/room and one of us talks to a questgiver. One of the quest involves stopping the man from damaging the rails, apparently its Virgil from McDonald's management.

We leave and start walking up Yarnell hill more. Now I'm not with my Mom or Casey anymore, it's Nathan and Tyler. After awhile, we become thristier than ever and have to stop at a random convenience store. Inside, I grab a cup and fill it with a little ice and water. Its not enough ice though, so I hold the cup against the icemachine more and I notice how I can fill the cup up with ice without the water overflowing. I turn around and see a few kids I know selling some new drink ideas. (There was a peanut butter & honey snack- and there was a "Honey-Fizz" drink, as I'd like to call it, was handed to me. It was a dark yellow bottle of "Honey"-flavored soda. I opened it and downed it quick. It was AMAZING. It was one of the best drinks I've ever had. I made this known to everyone around me. After awhile of talking to Tyler and Nathan about this, I wake up.
<woke up>

[Friday, October 12th, 2012]
(Slept with Alex tonight. I woke up a few times and told Alex about my dream, but I forgot it entirely- since I didn't go straight to my Dream Journal. I was also tired as HELL when I first zonked out, due to overstonage and sexhaustion. I forgive myself- hopefully, the next morning will be better. Though I do plan on getting stoned in the morning with Alex and Nathan- we'll see how that goes.)

(I'll also note, that I've read a lot of books that changed my outlook on a lot of things- and I said a prayer (Soul Download) to help me with my ego problem. I felt different immediately, and I could feel that my ego had dissolved. It felt amazing- and me and Alex haven't had anything close to a fight since.)

[Thursday, October 11th, 2012]
(I had just fallen asleep from waking up the first time. Before this dream, I had the Carnival dream.)

There was an odd man and a teary-eyed child walking up a quiet path to a large cave.
At the top of the path, the man shoves the kid inside, after stripping his clothes off and assures him, "It'll be all right, go inside. I'm going to help you. This has to be done."
The bare child has no choice, really. He lacks sureness in his feet, as he walks into the cave, almost as if he's afraid to fall from a cliff. It was so dark, you really couldn't tell if there was a dropoff or not. The kid takes a little, but now he's in the center of the cave. You can see him hunched into a ball somewhere in the dark with your dim nightvision that no one else but us has. The man wants to do this where no one will find them.

Suddenly- I'm the boy. I see nothing but pitchblack. The light from outside doesn't enter this cave. "I'm coming in~" a whisper violates the silence, but is carried along like a screaming wind. I take a step backwards- but I hear my footsteps crunch in the sand a few times. I stop and listen- I hear
a "crunch... crunch... crunch... crunch..." at such an irregular beat. Something is different now and off- my skin began to crawl. The cool air suddenly became so cold, it hurt my skin. The crunching is growing closer and closer and closer. It had to be less than a yard away... I throw up my hands in pure terror in a pathetic attempt at self-defense. I touched nothing- just waved my arms around quietly.

Then someone SEIZES my hands violently and shoved them down to my side. They lean their face closer to mine. I became semi-lucid- just in time to witness some... THING... with a sunken face staring at me dead in the eyes with soulless milky-black charcoal eyes. The face quickly morphed into Alex.

"Do you wanna see my noon?" she whispered through the dead silence of the cave. "Do you wanna see my noon?"

She stares me dead in the eye with a blank expression on her face. Then she slowly opens her mouth wide- and two fists pushed together... slowly crawls out of her open mouth as if someone inside was pushing them out. They began to open and creep towards my face to grab it.

"WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP."

(Imagine making two fists in front of you like you're holding a steering wheel tight. Push your hands together like that. Then, holding the bottom of your hands together where it joins the wrist imagine them opening and unrolling like a flower. That's how she tried to grab my face.)


<I woke up.>

[Thursday, October 11th, 2012]

<The night before this, Alex had told me how she felt about me... she popped the question, "Why are we together?" a few times and after she left, it felt like the end of the world. She was definitely going to leave me... I was angry and sad at the same time. Why is she so unfair with me? Demanding things of me, but when I ask for the same, she tells me I will never understand. She must love to drill me further into the ground. Even now as I type this, I can't help feeling a helpless feeling... a bitter disgust for the Alex that night, that lectured me like a child and let me know I was a horrible boyfriend. My heart sank 3 times smaller that night. I sat in my bed and sobbed for hours and screamed into my pillow, trying to stop my heart from hurting. I thought about hurting myself physically, I thought about leaving her before she could leave me. I even left a few scars on my mind. I finally calmed down after talking to her on the phone... she made me laugh... while I was going to get cigarettes, but I still felt miserable as I lied down to go to bed.>

(Before I fell asleep, being as horrible anxious and depressed and emotional as I was... I told my subconscious to just give me whatever dream it thought I needed to see. "Go ahead. Throw anything I need to see at me. But make me lucid. I need to be lucid!" I fall asleep.)

(Hours later, I have my first dream that I remember...)

I walk out of a motel room with Alex beside me and we look around. Some kind of festival was occuring all around us. People are walking around in all directions, mostly heading for a particular carnival ground. Some are in costume, some are stark naked. We walk around for a bit and decide to head back to where we came from, to change our appearence. I decide I wanted to either be stark naked too, or cross-dress. Back at the motel room, I skim through my options in clothes, and notice I suddenly have a lot of female clothes in my closet as well as male ones. Alex isn't with me anymore though. So I walk back outside and wander around some more- still with the urge to rip off all of my clothes.

Glancing around at people more, I notice that I know quite a lot of people here- no family members, but people from my town that I know are very common here. Suddenly, I see some people walking towards Bashas'. Apparently, Bashas' is allowing our festival to take as much food as we want to bring back for a feast. I follow the small crowd to Bashas'. Outside, I wait for an employee to unlock the doors... and we head in with shopping carts. We start tossing in random items, from meats to snacks to candy to cheeses to drinks. The second cart starts filling up with purely meat, and I warn them not to overdo it on meat.

<dream skips>

We're back at the festival. I grab a flyer from the ground and it shows my whole family is performing. Tim Z****, Bob Z****, and a few other Z****'s that I've never heard of. I realize that I can't cross-dress or go stark naked because they're here and I don't want them to think bad of me. I see Zack and Alex together and I walk up to them. Zack and me are friendly like we used to be.

<HOLE IN MEMORY> My Dad was involved with this memory, as were Alex and Zack. We were gathering something off the dirt street, there were lots of them... we were in the old west and my Dad was standing next to an old wagon. <memory skips>

We're now in the middle of a cardboard-like city. The buildings are close together and flat and textureless like a cheap old video game using 3D models of a wall and a cheap texture stretched across the surface. It's like a type of maze here with buildings painted on the walls. The structures do however tower into the sky like normal. I'm still with Alex and Zack. We're doing something <HOLE IN MEMORY> when me and Alex seperate from Zack. The grey sky becomes covered in clouds the color of charcoal. They become the darkest black imaginable. Me and Alex look at each other and instantly begin to run down the street, searching for shelter. I see Zack behind us walking some other direction, almost as if he's unaware. He turns a corner and I lose sight of him. I keep running the other way.

We arrive inside of a dark building to wait out the storm. Rain begins to POUR and we wait there for hours. When it finally stops, we go outside, and color is returning to the sky. The sun peaks out from behind the clouds, but the world is still a dull grey tone.

We walk back to where our motel was and I find where my car is parked. We hop in and begin to drive. She wants to find Zack... she's worried sick about him. I'm depressed- We drive for a bit more and <HOLE IN MEMORY> I park in the Circle K with pumps, and do a horrible job. I try to re-align my park job a few times before I give up and decide its okay how I parked. Alex walks up to me and starts yelling at me about some unknown thing and asks me why I left her somewhere. I tried to explain I didn't leave her anywhere... but it's no use. We both hop in the car however and drive off towards the direction of McDonalds. "Please, we have to find Zack. I'm worried about him." I keep driving.

Suddenly, we're in a Fun-House of Mirrors, sitting inside a track-ride. We slowly turn a corner and see Zack lying down. The car stops and Alex gets out and runs to Zack and gives him a long hug. She lets go and kisses Zack on the lips. I blink my eyes and see that Zack has his knuckle up to Alex lips. It's a gesture towards me- that Zack would have made before while he was still my friend. I watch the whole scene objectively, as if it had nothing to do with me... a movie I knew was depressing, but lacked the emotion to feel. The only thing I felt was that I was a horrible boyfriend- at that moment I remembered all of the things I had been saying throughout the dream. It was like my horrible self from waking life was invading my dreams- I had said pathetic things about Zack and that I was tired of all this shit and more. I felt horrible compared to Zack, who had just done something nice for me

<I wake up feeling like shit.>

(I still admired the intensity of the dream, and closed my eyes again and imagined being lucid during it... I repeated in my head, "It's a dream.")
================================================== =============
<I fell back into a dream.>
<It's continued with "Pedophilia in a Dark Place" after this dream.

[Wednesday, October 10th, 2012]
I remember singing "In The Company of Wolves" with Nathan and Alex.

<That's it for recall.>

(Later, I remember being inside of a strange building and outside meeting with smaller kids. There was baseball being played around me but I only remember faint impressions of it being something like a school or private school to be more exact.)

[Tuesday, October 9th, 2012]
Alex was talking to her Aunt, who was pulled up in a car- her Aunt was PISSED because while we had stayed at a hotel- Alex had used all of the telephone's minutes to call someone, and it had costed her Aunt. About 47 minutes of time. I told her to follow me, and that I would pay for it, and I grabbed her by the hand and we headed back up the stairs to the strange hotel. On the way up, Alex explained to me that I couldn't or something like that, but I was stubborn. We walked inside, and once there, we headed to the second floor, walking past a man in violet, playing the piano in a flurry. We waltzed up the stairs out of the lobby and to the owner's office. The office was empty- and a few other people waited there as well. We joined them in waiting.

The man on the piano stood up, and looked around him as if he were being attacked by demons! He stared wide-eyed up at us, over the railing
seperating us from the first floor and began to lose his temperment! He shouted and cursed and banished us from existence. He banished us from
this hotel- for risk of losing something valuable of his. We all slowly exited down the stairs and out of the hotel. On the way out, I snatched a purple box off a table, that belonged to Nathan. Or maybe it WAS Nathan? I turned around and looked him dead in the eye-

"Well, let me at least take my FRIEND NATHAN..." I was meaning the box- as if I knew Nathan was inside.
He reared back in confusion and disgust.
"My best friend, the bartimus, (bartolameu) might suck the soul out of you~" I laughed with the last part sounding ghostly but sarcastically mocking.

The man squinted his eyes at me, but when I finished the last sentence, his eyes opened as if he had realized what I meant by it, and then he
clasped his hands as if he knew what I was talking about. He wasn't pleased exactly, but he appreciated my humor somehow.
I walked out the door and <my dream ended>.

(The man, now that I think about it, closely resembled the Warden from Super Jail.)

[Monday, October 8th, 2012]
Being chased by a muscular clown with a hammer. We were inside a spooky mansion with Alex, Nathan, and Scooby and the Gang. We were
playing a game (we were being forced to) where the clown would chased us and try to hammer the shit out of us. We take turns- first up is Fred.
He's terrified, but we all watch as the Clown chases him off. I hold a paper in my hand. It shows a list of everyone in the house. Fred's name is lit
up. After awhile, it becomes crossed off. Suddenly, another person's name lights up and it starts again. I notice there is a door out of the room I'm
in and I sneak off with a few other people. There's a tall chain-link fenced backyard here- I climb up to the top to show everyone a way to get out.
No one is behind me now; I walk back inside and there's Shaggy and Scooby!

The paper was shining again, this time with Shaggy and Scooby's names lit up. The clown is coming for us- "COME ON GUYS, FOLLOW ME!"
We all somehow make it up the fence pretty fast and drop down. We sneak to the front yard where Shaggy and Scooby for some apparently
reason re-enter the house. "They're gonners..." I think to myself. I run to a bush to hide for awhile and I look around. We're in Arizona- the desert.
The setting reminds me of Congress. Just then the paper goes dark again. But my name isn't lighting up. I walk back to the house, confused, when
suddenly it lights up again. The front door opens wide and the clown walks out smiling, a sledgehammer on his shoulder. I sprint for the backyard
fence to try and climb it. I have abnormally high reflexes and speed and can move on the fence faster than humanly possible. I try to trick the
clown by pretending to drop into the backyard, and instead running back to the front yard but he sees my manuever. He compliments me, "AHH,
that's a smart move! Too bad though!"

<My dream ends before the clown can hit me.>

[Sunday, October 7th, 2012]
I was in the grass by the church school with a bunch of kids from school. Mr. Clementz was there giving us riddles to solve for class. He said the
answer is up high. I climbed onto of the school building's rooftop, but saw nothing. I came back down and when everyone had failed, he pointed
up in the tree. We all rushed to grab pieces of paper that looked like colorful money from the branches. Then we all sat down and someone (a
courier) gave Mr. Clementz an envelope and left. Mr. Clementz reads the envelope and hands it to me. I open it to find a $200 dollar bill. My eyes
widen in surprise!

Later, walking down a ghetto part of town, I look at the dollar bill again... it has Pocahontas on the front of it.


+

I was in a building in a strange rainy city (reminded me of Deus Ex cities). There were three doors, and the ones on opposite sides were glass
doors. People I knew started flooding in from all directions. I saw family members like my Uncle Chris too! Suddenly, the rain picked up and like
a vacuum, everyone was being sucked out both of the glass doors. I grabbed on to something and held on. Somehow, I survived and went outside
after the wind had died down and I found someone else who had held on too. It was a girl. We both walked down to the Hospital nearby to look
for everyone. We got there and asked the receptionist if she knew if anyone had just come in. She didn't see anyone. Just then, someone from the
room walked in the door. We had somehow beaten everyone here!

(Later, I remember thinking about Alex and a sudden feeling of guilt emerged, the words, "FORGIVE ME" vibrated in my head. I must have had a
bad experience in a dream?)

[Saturday, October 6th, 2012]
Two Doctor/Professors/Scientists in orange?- faintly reminded me of Half-Life 1 and 2. There were scientists and professors like them in a lab
setting that resembled my Mom's old house. I walked around watching them. There were grey figures walking around the room too- obviously
robots or androids of some sort.

The scientists were bustling around the room that I was in, programming the androids/cyborgs.
"Why are you so glitchy? Why are you stuttering?" One stops a dark grey robot to fiddle with his CPU brain.

<memory skips>

Brent and I in a small but long room, Bowser is in it and we're trying to get to the other side. He pops up every now and then and we knock him
away each time.
At the end of the room, a giant arena sits.
Giant MegaBowser falls from nowhere and starts jumping and crushing Brent, though he respawns. I wait until Bowser is distracted and I toss a
green koopa shell at him and knock him for a loop. He's dazed for a moment; But he jumps again, and I watch his shadow carefully to avoid him. I
warn Brent this time to watch his shadow, but he doesn't listen and gets hit a second time. I throw a giant koopa shell this time and it almost
finishes Bowser off.

<memory skips>

Now, Brent and I are in the old house's living room. The scientists are gone. I'm interupt him from a phone call with something important, and he's
enraged because he was trying to hear something talk so he could get numbers. At this point I get annoyed and annoy him further. He gets up to
chase me or hit me.
I get away unscathed and end up talking my Aunt about Brent. She seems to know exactly what Brent is up to.
<dream changes>

+

Me and Alex stargazing. "Wow the sky is so pretty..." I amuse myself with our view of the night-sky.
Alex says, "I wonder if there's anything else in THAT direction." or (I wonder if there's anything else that's not over there...)
We were talking about galaxies and planetary life or something else important. She points a certain direction as she talks
I say, "Nah, over there it's just the planets. And over there is another- and another there..."
Alex points something out in the nightsky. "What's that then?"

I look up. I giant explosion of stars and in the middle- a spiral of orange. The entire explosion resembles a phoenix, spray painted in MS PAINT.
The star-phoenix glimmers and pulsates slowly, and has layers of orange spraypaint. It's absolutely breathtaking and tragically beautiful. We walk
towards it and it starts to resemble a giant tree split in half, as if it were struck by lightning and on fire. It was a World Tree falling from a worldly
hill. What looked like wings before, now seemed like split trunks on their way down. My Dad appeared next to us, and I noticed there was a giant
iron overhang nearby with his truck underneath it. We ran to it as the tree began to fall in our direction. We made it under safely just in time. It
crushed the area around us except for the overhang, but the overhang wouldn't stand much longer with the weight of the tree on it.

"Don't worry, it's definitely gonna fall." We raced to his truck to save it from being crushed.
"Oh, I'm worried." I spit out.

<dream ends>

[Saturday, October 6th, 2012]
Two Doctor/Professors/Scientists in orange?- faintly reminded me of Half-Life 1 and 2. There were scientists and professors like them in a lab
setting that resembled my Mom's old house. I walked around watching them. There were grey figures walking around the room too- obviously
robots or androids of some sort.

The scientists were bustling around the room that I was in, programming the androids/cyborgs.
"Why are you so glitchy? Why are you stuttering?" One stops a dark grey robot to fiddle with his CPU brain.

<memory skips>

Brent and I in a small but long room, Bowser is in it and we're trying to get to the other side. He pops up every now and then and we knock him
away each time.
At the end of the room, a giant arena sits.
Giant MegaBowser falls from nowhere and starts jumping and crushing Brent, though he respawns. I wait until Bowser is distracted and I toss a
green koopa shell at him and knock him for a loop. He's dazed for a moment; But he jumps again, and I watch his shadow carefully to avoid him. I
warn Brent this time to watch his shadow, but he doesn't listen and gets hit a second time. I throw a giant koopa shell this time and it almost
finishes Bowser off.

<memory skips>

Now, Brent and I are in the old house's living room. The scientists are gone. I'm interupt him from a phone call with something important, and he's
enraged because he was trying to hear something talk so he could get numbers. At this point I get annoyed and annoy him further. He gets up to
chase me or hit me.
I get away unscathed and end up talking my Aunt about Brent. She seems to know exactly what Brent is up to.
<dream changes>

+

Me and Alex stargazing. "Wow the sky is so pretty..." I amuse myself with our view of the night-sky.
Alex says, "I wonder if there's anything else in THAT direction." or (I wonder if there's anything else that's not over there...)
We were talking about galaxies and planetary life or something else important. She points a certain direction as she talks
I say, "Nah, over there it's just the planets. And over there is another- and another there..."
Alex points something out in the nightsky. "What's that then?"

I look up. I giant explosion of stars and in the middle- a spiral of orange. The entire explosion resembles a phoenix, spray painted in MS PAINT.
The star-phoenix glimmers and pulsates slowly, and has layers of orange spraypaint. It's absolutely breathtaking and tragically beautiful. We walk
towards it and it starts to resemble a giant tree split in half, as if it were struck by lightning and on fire. It was a World Tree falling from a worldly
hill. What looked like wings before, now seemed like split trunks on their way down. My Dad appeared next to us, and I noticed there was a giant
iron overhang nearby with his truck underneath it. We ran to it as the tree began to fall in our direction. We made it under safely just in time. It
crushed the area around us except for the overhang, but the overhang wouldn't stand much longer with the weight of the tree on it.

"Don't worry, it's definitely gonna fall." We raced to his truck to save it from being crushed.
"Oh, I'm worried." I spit out.

<dream ends>

[Friday, October 5th, 2012]
(I wake up the first time with poor recall. Blame it on the marijuana. This is a huge road block for me. But my best friend is obsessed with it, and
Alex isn't much better. But my WILLPOWER is better than this. I don't need to smoke to have fun. But I need to quit or seriously cut back to
enjoy lucid dreaming, and better recall.)

(I remember something...)

I'm walking into the pet shop... or the pet-shop owner's house... I'm going to see him to say hello. I walk inside the door and Pastor Greg is just
leaving- he smiles at me and asks what I'm up to and how I've been. I reply, "I'm good. I'm going to see Will, the Pet Shop Owner. I continue inside
but don't remember finding him.

[Thursday, October 4th, 2012]
(I had dreams before this, but this is the latest that I remember.)

I'm at school. It's a school in downtown city. Me, Alex, Alex's Mum and a few other people stayed after school had
ended to accomplish some goal. There's an emergency and we stayed despite it. We needed some kind of information
maybe? We park in one spot in a parking garage-like area and trace our steps to the front door. We get inside.
<memory fades>

We're headed back out- apparently someone (the second in comand of the school) stayed all night too and is nearby.
Somehow people might know we're here. We panic and try to get out without getting caught. On the way out,
everyone seems to have forgotten where we parked. I point in the right direction to the right.
Alex's Mom: "Oh yeah, I know."
She doesn't sound as hateful to me. But she still sounds slightly unhappy. I'm thankful for this nonetheless.
We trot through the parking lot road the leads to an alleyway. Me and Alex's Mom have a small but relatively friendly
conversation on the way there. We're just about to enter an alleyway when I notice... I'm missing shoes! The alleyway
is dirt mostly. Halfway through- We walk through some deep wet mud and I get my pants dirty.
"Ugh." Everyone sympathizes with me. "Don't worry, there's some water up ahead I can wash myself off with."
I'm going to have to wash my feet since we're getting in Alex's Mom's car. I roll up my pants and walk through
semi-deep water. I shake my feet a few times to get as much of the mud off as possible. We get to the car and my
memory skips. I just remember feeling my ears, and they were pierced again. (They aren't in waking life anymore.)

We're heading to the mall now. We stop at a store before this to let everyone use the bathroom.
It's a small ripoff ToysRUs store. I walk around and look at the clothes first. I have no money and I want to steal
something so bad, but I have no big pockets. I'd have to wear it out. I plan a robbery in the back of my mind. Then at
least I wouldn't look like shit for the mall.

Kids surround me while I look. They're extremely loud for me. A few approach me and ask me questions. I ignore
them for the most part and keep browsing. On the center circle rack, there's lots of "plaid overshirts" in really neat
colors. Some are soft... some are thick like giant thick coats. Almost like my red coat! I keep looking and find a few
tanktops. One tanktop I find isn't really my cup of tea... it looks almost like an ugly orange+green mud color. It doesn't
fit me either, so I take it back off. It was an "M", I noticed.

The kids repeatedly question me. I don't mind them too much and I answer them and talk to them. After awhile
though, I start to play with them. One plays hide-and-seek tag with me or something. I hide in the clothes rack that I've
been browsing and note that you'd have to bend down to even see my feet! Now hidden, I notice a kid running in
circles around the rack. I reach out and try to grab him or something, but he ends up knocking the entire rack over on
me. "SHIT, KID!" I suddenly become aware of all the security guards and managers in the area. They're walking
towards this area. Fuck.

I head away. I go to the Toddler section where Kid's are playing on a little slide and laughing. I feel extremely out of
place, and some parents are watching anyways... I head away and see kids everywhere, but gravitate towards the
arcade machines. There's one big game... and a few beyond it... well that's disappointing. I turn to my left and see a
whole line of machines. I think, "WHOA, that's better. But these machines probably don't have the same system as
Castles and Coasters... I wouldn't be able to win anything very high in tickets then anyways."

I head back to the area where I was going to shoplift. I'm now cautious of the one security guard that's standing by the
door. I also observe that there probably isn't any shoplifting detectors near the door. My attention returns to the
clothes. The circle rack is now missing. Go figure. I notice some racks on the wall with folded clothes. These look like
they're more expensive. They must be, because they all look amazing. A couple kids show up again and start talking to
me. I think they know now what I'm up to- but they want to help me. They run off somewhere, while I keep looking.
I see a new item that I didn't see before!

A Black and Red tanktop- it's a black tanktop with trippy red designs of fire on acid. The armpit doesn't even go down
that low. I love it! I make sure it's my size. I find a few "M"s and "XL"s... then finally a "L".
I find some boxers that match the tanktop.
I find some nice soft white socks... and some shorter black ones too! I stuff the white ones in my pocket.
I find quite a few REALLY nice plaid overshirts... I check the sizes first. These would be easier to steal... but maybe I
could wear some of these over the tanktop!
I find some a couple plaid overshirts of really neat colors that stand out. One has Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, and
maybe Blue. One has something similar, but with less colors, and blackish or whiteish sleeves. The sleeves have fancy,
silver, flower-like curves and garnish. I might rip those off. But they do look interesting. I see some really nice pants
too that look really comfortable. I take my muddy pants off and begin the process. They won't notice pants being
different, I hope. After my pants are already off and I'm in some gym-shorts or something, I glance over at the door
security guard. He looks distracted by many other things besides me. But I'm still in his line of sight. At that moment,
he walks away towards some kids crying. The two kids must have done the job!

I try to slip back into my muddy pants for a moment when I see other people walking towards me. The manager is
coming. Oh fuck! I get my pants half-on when he arrives and he's with a security guard. They joke around as if they
were kids and start shooting imaginary guns at me. I play along and pretend to get shot up like I used to when I was a
kid. I hit the ground and they continue. Then the manager walks up to me and shoots me in the mouth.

"Haha, I guess I have a tongue piercing now." I joke. We all laugh.
If anyone responds to this verbally, I don't remember it. I think to myself... if I were shot like that or stabbed like that
for real, I'd be bleeding out pretty bad.

<I wake up.>

[Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012]
(Recall is poor, but I DID dream quite a bit.)

I'm at a gigantic park and home complex- I get in an arguement with
Brent and my Mom just happens to agree with him. My Mum chimes in and follows me about telling me I'm wrong. I
keep saying, "PLEASE Mom, just LISTEN to me." Her face starts become troll-like as she begins to argue like a child.
I become extremely upset. [I don't remember much else.]