memorable

[Saturday, September 22nd, 2012] [AI is Viral]
(I feel like my soul has just returned from the most extensive adventure... I just got done living another life...)

I remember a futuristic city- Me and Alex witnessed the discovery of a new type of energy that unlocked the secrets of AI. Professors and
Cid-like people gathered around a small machine. They clapped and applauded the arrival of the plasma-like substance that gathered electric
currents out of nothing. The little cylinder music-box-sized machine danced with sparks and lightning. It spread to every thing in the room that had
certain false AI that humans had invented. AI's intelligences advanced so fast and replicated beyond our imagination... within minutes the city was
under attack by our own technology. People were being killed instantly. Alex ran as fast as she could. I was knocked down... I saw people being
impaled... melted... sliced... I crawled into a pod-machine with a red force field that cloaked my presense and protected me- and I waited and
watched. A giant red tenticle of energy whipped around the plaza and killed countless humans. I watched it kill every thing it could detect with
lightning precision. I was watching a masacre- and was the only one in this area to survive. I sat there and watched something evil looking whip
it's bladed arms across the forcefield and slash and slash- but I stared and watched. This was a bad idea- I was stuck in here and Alex was lost
somewhere. I closed my eyes and went back in time- to before the AI made the change. A few minutes before.

I didn't go far back enough. Alex had already run... and Nathan was with me now. But instead of crawling into the safety pod, I grabbed Nathan
and ran. We took turns through the city's hidden corridors and tried to imagine which way Alex would have gone. I felt that she took a left, a right,
another right... then we were at the edge of the city. We were on a giant island ship of metal. Water spread out as far as the eye could see. There
were teleporters on the edge of the ship- and we chose one and it sent us to Manhattan... I could feel that city was already destroyed... so I
reversed time and chose a smaller city. One that Alex was in. We were catapulted through space-time and arrived within moments

This city was dark and depressing, rainy and poor. It reminded me of a late 19th century England city with no modern technology existing, or
perhaps just out of sight and not so advanced. Shingles were falling off roofs from dilapidation, and wood was rotting away. Nathan was here
somewhere in the city, but now he wasn't with me. Dammit. Now I had two people to find. I turned down one alleyway and it led down to a
hidden replica neighborhood of our apartment complex. The parking lot was filled with potholes of rainwater and a few doors were off their
hinges. I went up to number 8 and knocked, SHE ANSWERED. <memory skips>

It's been a few days of us living in safety. But there were memories of her being uninterested in me anymore. I was to be replaced by figures such
as Pompous, Brandon, and more. I felt like she gave the attention she used to give to me to everyone else. A nightmare in itself. I was devastated
but she thought it was only fair. We got in a fight that was very unclear to me and just as we went inside, some kind of shit went down. During a
party, AI had arrived in THIS town. It must be trying to exterminate humans or something. I grabbed Alex by the hand and everything we might
need- and we ran with our backpacks. People were being slayed that came out of hiding- but our neighborhood had been compromised. I saw
Nathan too and I shouted at him to follow- and we headed to the teleports. We all got in one and tried to leave to the place with the least amount
of population. That must be the safest place!

The machine malfunctioned and sent us up into the atmosphere. We all flew up where we could land on an airplane. But we all did grab on until it
landed. Where we did land, it was a tropical island- big, but not as populated. The technology here hadn't been quite affected by the change yet,
so we were sort of safe. The first building we entered shut us in when we walked inside, and a trial began. A box wheeled itself into the room with
supplies for a battle. There was a battery recharge, a weapon capsule, and another thing I don't remember. I grabbed the weapon capsule- it was
kind of old and damaged, I tried to heal it with my mind and it worked. Just then, a robot/cyborg arrived in the room with the intent to destroy me.
I chucked the weapon capsule with all my strength at it and busted the attack machine. That was easy, I thought.

<I faded from the dream and woke up.>

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012][12:30 PM]
I'm in a giant open house filled with clutter. The lights are very dim and there are two main rooms. On one side of the house there's just a
windowed wall that overlooks the sunset scenery of trees. The house is slowly getting darker and there are no lights. Alex had just left me- I'm
alone.

Nothing is wrong, I'm just alone. I sit down and start to just relax on the couch. I slowly drift off to sleep... I wake up a minute later, a noise
springs to my attention. On the dark side of the house, where the shadow's hugged the corner, I heard a noise. I figure it must have been my
imagination. I shrug it off, but feel a strange alien thought in my head. I feel so alone... so... so alone... I just want something to hold on to- or talk
to-

I slowly trudge over to the shadow side of the house... I hear dull clicking noises, reminiscent of Amnesia. In the far right corner of the dark side, I
bend down to pick up a stuffed animal... there was a lot of them, but I choose one that I'm most familiar with. It was a cute patchwork animal-
yellow with purple and green... Alex had gotten it from the claw machine. I pick it up and hug it- and look at it. I could have sworn I saw it move.
I let it drop to my side and I pick up another... I set them back down and watched them come to life. I was amazed- but didn't think anything of it.
I must be seeing things, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's just little movements, like an arm twitching, or an eye blinking.

I bring the patchwork with me into the other rooms and set it on a table. Walking into the other room, I see shadows flicker and move, and things
shift around the room. I'm convinced I'm going crazy. But I'm okay, I accept it. "It won't be forever. And this isn't so bad. It's kind of interesting.
It's like I can control what I see." It reminds me of a lucid dream. My hallucinations started to become more real and vivid. Now I'm hearing
whispers. The patchwork shakes violently in my hand and drops to the floor. It begins crawl around... Oh my... then it stops in its tracks... and...
and it turned its neck to me. It whispered, "Don't be lonely. I'm here for you." I blink a blank stare back at it. (My subconscious didn't know how
to react.) I dismiss it- and forget about it.

With an empty mind, I drag myself across the house, like a ghost haunting eternity. I had no aim or goal, just to exist. Minutes passed and I knew
that I was fully insane, and descending extremely fast. Everything was talking to me now. More stuffed animals were alive, but only ONE at a
time. Next thing I know, I see a human in the room. It's- a waking life friend of mine that I know fairly well, but I don't remember who in specific.
I know it's just in my head, and I'm making him up though, so I'm not exactly freaked out. I'm just so interested in the fact that I have this much
"control" over my reality- I start to talk to the hallucination, "What's up, man?"
"Not much." He replies.

I take my attention off of him and he vanishes, and I begin to search around the house... playing with my hallucination power.
I could stare at something and focus on it, and it would begin to move. I have "control" over this at least. I scan the back wall again, seeing
stuffed animals that I recognized from real life and some that I did not. The house had gotten pretty chilly in the last few minutes. I can feel the
cold wrap around my skin. It's very very quiet. Dead silent. Not a noise in the place, save for my breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I see the
hallucination take a human form again. It's another person who I know. (but don't remember. I wasn't paying extremely-close, conscious attention
yet at this point. He follows me around the house as I start to pick things up and clean the cluttered house. He watches me closely like a hawk. That's when the
dream becomes extremely real. In fact... It ISN'T a dream anymore. There's no way something this real is a dream. It's a full-blown reality. I can't
tell the difference one bit anymore. I'm semi-lucid too... I have control of my body- but without realizing it was a dream.
I look back up at my hallucinated visitor and he smiles at me.

That smile... it's the most horrible evil fucking smile I've ever seen. One that stretches across the face and make me choke back tears of impossible
fear. I'm descending faster into the deepest and darkest corner of my mind. I'm very uncomfortable
"I can't believe how insane I am." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to call Alex- the only person that I want to talk to right now...
even if I was bat crazy, she would talk to me. I call, with my eyes on the hallucination that was smiling so wide, his black eyes were chinked
behind his grin. Straight to voicemail- "We're sorry... the number you-" I hang up.

The hallucination now has a long boning knife in his hand now. He's at my neck before I even have a chance to react-
"Do... you know who... I am?"
"No-" I sob.
"As long as Alex is... gone... I get to... come out and... play."
He casually drags the knife loosely against my neck. He vanishes when he finishes the knife's trail. I'm shaking uncontrollably. But at the same
time stilled by my muscles. Everything is frozen in fear. My open eyes scan the room and notice new stuffed animals that I don't recognize-
countless of them. The sun is almost gone, the light choked by the horizon. I turn around slowly 'til I'm facing a third room behind me. I watch the
opening for a whole minute... waiting... swaying back in forth in silence... then-

I sprint to the third back room... I jump into the room and stop... panting for second. This room closely resembles my old room of my Mum's old
house. The TV is on and static lights up the room with white noise. I slowly make my way to the far end of the room, where I put my phone on the
charger and try to call again- that's when I saw Alex had left her phone on the charger. I won't reach her at all now. My heart sinks so deep into
my chest. "Oh my god... I just want to talk to Alex... I just want to talk to her... please oh god..." I cry hysterically

My head feels very hazy, and I'm having trouble remembering the situation. What had just happened? I remember a stuffed animal... I'm crazy... a
man in my house... I took in a shallow breath- and walked back out of the room.

A body flickers into existence and blocks my path. Nathan appears very suddenly in the doorway, like a scream piercing silence. He has a
wicked grin on his face. He cocks his head to the side, and smiles more, almost saying, "Where were you?" Then he vanishes again. I push my
eyes closed to blink a few times- they were getting dry from holding them open so wide for so long. The house is caked in twilight- but this time
I'm back in my Mom's old home. I emerge from my room into the computer room. To my left is the futon. I walk into the kitchen and hear,
"Unwell" playing by Matchbox Twenty.

"I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a little unwell- I know, right now you can't tell- but soon enough of you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be." I
listen to the words and begin to sob. "This is so real. I can't do this...

The music stops playing and Nathan is there again. He's right behind me, smiling his cold smile. It shocks me again how suddenly he appeared. I
keep my eyes on him and slowly backtracked... then I stop. I'm suddenly filled with HATE for this DEMON. HOW DARE HE USE THE IMAGE
OF MY BEST FRIEND!? Tears slowly well up in my eyes..

...until I scream and lunge for his throat. I use every bit of my strength and force him onto the futon and begin to choke him. I shake and shake
and squeeze as hard as I can. He just smiles. I choke him for a full minute, letting my hate seep out onto his neck, before I realize there is no
effect. I stand back up and take a step back.

Suddenly, the futon vanishes and so does he. It repositions right where the computer used to be- to my immediate left... where we had moved it
the second time, when we lived there. Now, Tyler sits there on the futon with a smile on his face. The lights flicker in the house and then the
power fails. It's pitch black, but I can still see his black eyes. He can change form, but he can't change those beady black eyes.

Alex had gone away and wouldn't be back for three days. Three days of hell... My soul was going to rot here
<I woke up.>

(I cried for 10 minutes upon waking. I called Alex right away.)

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012] [After Midnight- before I had fallen asleep]
I turned off the lights, turned on the LSD dose from iDoser (a binaural beat that induces a drugs effects), and lied down with headphones. I folded a shirt over my eyes and I zoned out and began counting down from 847. After awhile I became more and more relaxed, letting my mind become numb... I would recount numbers and forget where I was and restart at random numbers- this is when I knew I was in a trance. I felt detatched slightly... and tried imagining something.

I imagined myself in a blank white room. Suddenly a potted plant appeared in the center. It grew and grew and grew until it became a Venus Fly Trap plant of giant proportions. It ate "me". But it was just the body, the vessel, for my consciousness- I understood this and made a new one, and walked up to the plant. "You are simply a creation of mine and you cannot hurt me. I love you because I created you." The plant did not try to hurt me again. I walked through the wall to the left with such force, it shattered reality. The scenery outside the white room was a beautiful beach scene; the sun just setting a dark red velvet and vibrant orange against a dark navy sky and ocean. I was high in the air, far above the smooth sand or the water, but I was walking on air, on invisible pulsating steps. I walked a distance and then decided to travel along the pulsating steps like monkey bars. I dropped down so that my hands could hold on to the level where my feet just were and I pulled myself along as if they WERE monkey bars. Still pulsating a clear crystal light.

At that moment I reinvented the scenery. I was in a blank room again, but this time I was seated behind a table. I invited my subconscious and/or dream guide to appear and they did. Four figures walked in through the door instantly and each took a seat on the opposite side of the table. I made note of their appearance first... on the far left was a fiery feline female with fiery-colored hair, a mix of orange, red, and yellow. Second, was a huge muscular, black-iron-armorered figure with a fiery green skull with flames licking high into the air. Third from the left was a human walking-stick. Almost simply put, a bamboo man. Just a stick of bamboo going straight up into the air. Last, on the very right- I couldn't make them out very well. It was as if they were invisible, and I could only sense their Galka like presense.

I announced the reason for this gathering first, speaking in a pronoun that was mixture of I and We: "I/We are in a state of great confusion and despair. I/We are broken and must do something. We must become one, and work together to solve the problems we face." I stopped after the sentence and asked if anyone would be willing to finish my sentence due to how cloudy my conscious mind was. The 1st aspect chimed in and tried to finish, as my conscious mind jumped into her body- I saw from her eyes and began to talk... but trailed off, most likely because I, without meaning to, took control of her. Someone else chimed in right after, it was the 4th invisible Galkan aspect... I don't remember what he said, but it was full of force and meaning... and it made perfect sense. After he finished I stressed the importance of lucid dreaming: "It would be beneficial to US to lucid dream. We could solve a great deal from it and the daily link between all of us. We need to lucid dream." I was conditioning all of us- we all knew that I was hypnotizing the whole room. I was strengthening the importance of my conscious mind being present in dreams. After this I asked: "Okay, so who are you?" I was referring to each individual aspect of me. The first, the female aspect spoke up immediately: "I'm your female side, and I'm the one who emits light! I keep you on track and keep you afloat with joy!". I believed every word she spoke. I turned my attention to the stick. It radiated the answer: "I am your intellect. Your intelligence. The one who collects wisdom and shares it with everyone here." I couldn't sense a strong color from him. The next to speak was the ghostly presense of the armored man. He spoke something like this: "I am the one who keeps you alive. I know what you need- I make the hard decisions that benefit you, that you don't want to make." I understood. He was the line that knew when he was crossed. I looked at the invisible aspects seat- but never got an answer.

"Are you my dream guide?" There was no reply.

I was thrust back out of my imagination and into reality. I could feel a slight tingling sensation all over and I felt slightly detatched from my body. Thinking about this re-inforced my attatchment and I was back in my room again, listening to the vibrations in my headphones. I lied there for awhile and until the crackling in the headphones that's ALWAYS there kind of made my neck-hairs stand and I had to sit up. I sat up slowly and looked around. I could DEFINITELY feel something. The room was dark, but I could see exceptionally well. The clock on the wall was stretching and breathing. The whole room was stretching and breathing! I put my hands up in front of my face and I can't explain how alien my movements were... I felt like I was viewing from far, far away. I looked down at my blanket and it resembled a tangled mess of brain. The light coming under the door pulsated gently a light green mixed with turqoise. The patterns on the pillow moved like vines- just like in Fear and Loathing's Casino Carpets. The wall to my right was Tiger striped; shadows dashed ever-so-carefully across the white. The entire room was a calming, breathing dark mess of storage- it was new to me, as if I had never been there before. I brought my hands up to my face again, not exactly sure what I was doing, and I drew a cross on my left palm with my right index, then drew a circle on my right palm- then I clasped my hands together gently.

The dose still going on- I got impatient and took my headphones off. I heard a noise that did NOT exist in real life. My computer was making it... it sounded as if it was some sort of alien technology... making vibrating laser beam sounds. Like a woobawoobawoobawooba, but much faster and much higher pitched. I knew it was just my brain being confused from the binaural beats, but it was still fun to listen to. I crawled across my bed and crawled into the computer's chair and turned the screen on... after a few seconds of another strange feeling, I sobered up and typed this.

[Saturday, September 15th, 2012]
No dream recall- due to drinking, stoning, and overexhaustion after a night with Alex. :\

+

(Taking a nap around 2:00PM)
(At this time, I'm extremely relaxed from listening to binaural beats, meditating, stretching... almost to the point of being in a trance. I decide I'm too tired to read anything else, so I close out of my book at page 106. I face the speakers playing the binaural beats towards the bed and lie down. Then realizing that binaural beats won't work unless coming from different ears, I turn them off and just lie there. I lie there for what seems like awhile and my consciousness starts slipping. I can feel that I'm falling asleep in waves- and my mind will run off on a thought tangent and I'll stop myself before I totally FADE. But these tangents started becoming more real... and more in-depth. Slowly, the thought tangents were becoming mini-dreams. In the middle of each mini-dream, just like each tangent before, I would catch myself from falling asleep completely... by now stopping and thinking, "THIS IS A DREAM!". The first dream I remember was the Baby Coyote dream... there were more before that that I had become lucid in too, but I don't recall them.)

Alex, Nathan, and I are driving down Saguaro Dr. in his Jeep. It's pretty dark outside, but the moonlight leaves a dim outline of the world for us to see. Approaching the turn in to my old home, we see something in the middle of the road. It's a baby coyote. I'm filled with love for this little creature, and I just want to get out and hold it and love on it. Even knowing the parents would probably still be around. After waiting too long, Nathan finally drives off, apparently less impressed than I was. The parent coyotes join the baby and start to walk up my driveway. We drive off a little ways and I say, "Go back! We can still go see them!" Nathan turns around and Alex points out that they are still around, just kind of waiting there. We turn around and head back to his house, Nathan uninterested, but wanting to drive by again for us. Suddenly I realize it's a dream and wake up.

(I wake up with my eyes closed and fade back into another pretty fast.)
<dream recall starts>
I'm with Nathan, and it's around 3-4PM, the sun is shining and we're both in his Jeep driving down Saguaro Dr. We turn into his driveway, and I begin telling him about a dream I just had with us driving the Jeep right by a coyote on the road. Just as I speak my first sentence about it, a coyote sprints across the dirt driveway in front of us and runs into the desert. I... stammer, "Whoa whoa... whoa holy shit..." I look over at Nathan with wide bug-eyes to express my surprise and confusion. Coincidence happens. But I recognize when probability isn't at the right level. I explain, as he continues driving, that my dream had to have been telling me something or telling the future at the most. (Ironically, my subconscious was trying to make me lucid.) We pull up to his house, by his garage, and we start talking. Harley springs up out of nowhere and starts wagging his little tail like he always does. I think he came out of the garage door that isn't closed all the way. Nathan begins to close it just as I'm crawling under it. It's shaped in an almost alien fashion... and it closes as if it's an alien door with metal blinds... but it still comes dangerously close to crushing me. I'm gripped with slight panic as it pushes on my back... but then it stops. I crawl back out from underneath and seem to forget what just happened. Suddenly, the neighbors are calling out to us. I look up and see a small crowd by the next door house, a couple of girls waving at us. Nathan doesn't notice until I get him to look. I wave back with enthusiasm and continue talking to Nathan. I see Harley wag his tail, and notice he's tied with a thin red string to an unfamiliar vehicle where Nathan's Jeep was JUST parked. It's a maroon old-fashioned-esque car. It must be those neighbors or something. Suddenly they walk up from the driveway. It's a soccer-mom and her girls. She talks to Nathan as if he knows her. <memory> Before she leaves, she mentions something to ME about there being a scheduled "thing" and to not forget. The lady then gets into the maroon car and pulls out with her family. I watch them drive off, me being in the yard closer to the tree. I realize I'm dreaming and wake up.

(This time I wake up and decide to try something. The last few dreams were confusing me immensely, but I've gained the ability to "feel" if it's a dream or not. Being semi-awake again, and grounded in my bed, I begin to visualize until I feel I'm ready to induce sleep paralysis. My eyes still closed, I think, "Induce sleeping state, NOW!" or "Induce that state [that I'm thinking about]... NOW!" something to that effect... My whole body begins to vibrate and I can feel that I'm on the edge of sleep paralysis, but not quite there. I set to work immediately.

I began to visualize me being in the middle of a bunch of different scenes, and adding movement for added immersion. The first was a mall... I could hear the people talking... dragging their feet on the ground... but no visuals. I tried other scene's, none really getting me into a lucid dream. Just triggering new thought tangents. I tried again, this time, it was more specific: I was in the mall, but on a fountain's steps lying down. I could feel the sandstone... hear the water trickling and splashing... feel the cool air... I tried adding movement by rocking back and forth... I rolled off the steps and began to fall into nothing.

I open my eyes, and I'm back in my room again. But on the floor... I rise up and see an exact replica of myself sprawled out on the bed... on my back, hugging a pillow to my chest, a blanket's corner covering my eyes. I get so excited that my heart races and I look around the room one last time before my... experience... ends. I my Grandma's the old pendulum wall-clock with the time of 12:30 on the dot. (The clock is a few hours off of real time.) My experience ends and I open my eyes and take the blanket off my face. The clock says 12:31.
(It's around 5:30PM when all of this ends.)

[Thursday, September 13th, 2012]
<dream fragment>
I'm driving up to the High School with Nathan to drop him off for school... we pass by kids and I see the Principal, Ms Jacobson, and a Vice Principal walking next to her down the sidewalk. "Hey Nathan! I think I just saw the new Vice Principal! That was him wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't."
(I wasn't entirely sure... but I tried to sound sure of myself anyways.)
"Yeah it was. He had a name tag on him... next time you see him, see if it said Vice Principal on it."
I went forward up the parking lot as far as I could go towards the Gym and turned... right a little and then dropped him off. I realized that this wasn't how you were supposed to drop people off, you were supposed to stop at the side walk and turn LEFT. Nathan got out and I didn't see him again after that. I glanced back to see if anyone was watching me- there wasn't. Everyone had vanished. It was just me in the parking lot now. I didn't think anything of it. I reversed out of there with some difficulty and drove back the way I was supposed to go, noting that I shouldn't go the way the buses usually go. (It didn't matter, but whatever.) As I was driving around the Football-field-side of the student parking lot, I thought to myself...
"Wait... I was just in bed trying to sleep... THIS IS A DREAM."

As my common sense and consciousness rushed into my mind, my visuals rippled and faded. Now I'm surrounded with nothing but darkness. I try to focus on anything to start another dream... and I see an imprint; a blurry visual... it's a vertical oval, like a round mirror... and there's a figure in the center staring back at me. Who is that? I focus on the figure and try to bring them closer to me. The visuals just get weaker and I feel my body now in WL. It's so numb, and it feels like my stomach is being forced through the bed into my spine... is something sitting on me? This must be sleep paralysis! I force my eyes closed even more in slight fear... and I just bring myself even closer to WL in the process of focusing on my body. I focus on the feeling of sleep paralysis as its fading... and I try to force sleep paralysis back, and surprisingly it works. I start to fade back into a dream, but then I fall back down into my bed and wake up completely.

+
<false awakening>
I hear knocking at my door as I try to fall back asleep. I ignore it for a little bit and curse my Grandma's invasiveness. After a second, I convince myself she's still there and realize I'm naked in my bed. She knocks again and I could have SWORN she was opening the door at that second. My blanket was suddenly covering my body perfectly. Too perfectly... but it was fine at the time. I slip my boxers back on when she doesn't open the door and I get up and open it myself. She is there and she asks me a question that I don't remember, and then I wake up for real.

EDIT: She asked me how the jobs were going and if I had done anything else with it. I kind of got angry... "Grandma! I said I was just waiting on the school now to call me! I've already done everything I can, remember?!"

[Tuesday, September 11th, 2012]
There's a mall, which I assume is Prescott Mall, and I walk around it along with all the bustling people. I enter stores now and then, but my memory is pretty lame here. I walk outside I'm at Prescott still, but now it's an ocean dock-town scene. [**2**] Along the building, there's a rotting-wood walkway built above the water. There are restaraunts on the right-side and the ocean is to the left- but I pay the horizon no attention. (It was sunset at the time and I'm sure I missed the most beautiful scene...) Straight ahead, I follow the walkway to a door and follow it in. <My memory is empty of this room.> I emerge back out. Someone goes to a wall with three white vertical buttons- (like a vertical line that's fragmented into three short lines.) and he walks through the wall. It's a hidden Gambling Bar. I'm sure there's a cardgame inside. I press my hand through the middle button and I can see from the other side... It's a wall of the universe... with a painting of a woman cut into three sections (just like the line). (The wall goes forever, left and right, up and down, and it's filled with countless other symbols and paintings and ideas and markins and notes and thoughts of the human collective consciousness or maybe something more?) My hand emerges on the otherside of the wall from her chest, by her neck. I slide my hand back out with a little disappointment that I couldn't get in. Suddenly I realize this dock is a hidden workers-only area. I'm dressed in a similar uniform now and I grab a giant rug with a big picture or advertisement on it and roll it up and begin walking with it on my shoulder. I get funny suspicious looks from passerbys and workers, but no one stops me. I must look like I know what I'm doing, at least. My idea works! I get inside and drop the rug on the floor in a random spot where it seems to fit, and walk away casually. (My memory ends- I must have woken up here then fallen back asleep into the next dream.)

+

I faintly remember there being a drawer with a coupon in it for free Subway. Someone grabbed it out and used it before I could...My real dream recall starts in... I'm hungry and I want some fast food. I don't have any money whatsoever, but I have a strange feeling that makes me leave. I drive my Grandma's truck through town, having trouble sterring and keeping in the lines, but eventually I make it to the intersection of town just before the underpass. The world is dark, with the feeling of a calmed Zombie Apocalypse (as if the world has ended and this is the last safe haven, or its the end of the worst parts of the end... if you know what I mean. It's not neccesarily the plot as it is the 'mood') Passing by the actual intersection, I see flashing red and blue lights to the right towards Hassyampa School. I also hear faint police sirens everywhere. I see no cars. I keeping driving the dark streets, thinking about my lack of money and see more lights and hear more sounds. Come to think about it... the truck is silent. I can hear noises behind me coming from the Theatre. I ignore all these sounds as "my imagination running rampant", but I'm still worried about the police. I make it to the bridge and notice its MUCH bigger and longer than in reality. (I've already missed so many Dream signs. Damn.) The sky is puke dark rain. I cross the bridge without thinking again about it. I pass the unbuilt ruins of McDonalds and then Subway, and then suddenly there's flashing police lights behind me. Just then, I notice how bad I've been driving- swerving constantly. I try turning into Country Kitchen's parking lot with much difficulty, completely missing the first turn and barely making the second. I pull in and I'm halfway off the road when a curb appears in front of me. I'm stuck, and I glance over my shoulder to make sure the police are actually pulling me over. They are. I'm worried this might get me in even more trouble... I try reversing, but the car only moves forward. I press the brake more... I still move forward a bit. I'm confused more than panicked now, but I keep at the break, afraid to go flying over the curb if I let go. Suddenly, the officers are helping me in a strange way. The truck vanishes, and all I have is the shifter and the brake in my hands... there's also a yellow and black caution-striped half-tent above mine and the cop's head. I'm holding the brake down, as I shift into reverse, then I let go of the brake and walk backwards.

Next thing I know, I'm inside Country Kitchen- or at least a beat-up diner with the lights dimmed. It's filled with young people around my age, give or take. There's a bar to the left of me with a lone girl... there are tables and chairs and booths to the right of that. A bald cop follows me in and begins to babble about something to the whole restaraunt. I don't understand what he's trying to say- but I listen anyways. He sounds drunk or crazy. I dismiss him politely, after listening, and I forget he exists. I find someone who I feel like I "know"... but I don't remember anything specific about them. I approach her and she turns around and it's RUKIA! "Rukia!" I exclaim. She acknowledges me with slightly less enthusiasm. We converse about something before getting back to the matter at hand; FOOD. (I try not to be rude, but I hint that I have no money and that I'm hungry.) She suggests one way to get food:"Go look in the drawer at home, and there's a ticket-"Already used it- it's already used." I interrupt her "Hmm... well I guess if you wait a bit, I could help. I'm kind of waiting for something right now, though." (She replies something like that.) I understand this as her needing to find a nearby Hollow still. It's at this time my attention shifts to the bathroom doors. The bathrooms are straight ahead from the entrance on the left, past the bar. I get impatient after my attention returns, so I decide to speed up the process. Rukia is still just waiting on the Hollow...

I might not do this normally, but I know I can. I remember listening to "binaural beats" earlier that day... specifically the one that would open your third eye chakras. The whole day before that, I had an unruly sense of strange things too. My intuition is top-notch right now. I walk around the restaurant and try to find the Hollow- it has to be one of these people. I approach a couple: dismiss them, walk up to a filled table: not them, pass by a booth of teenagers: they're normal... then I reach the bar. It's this person! Their hair is a dark, dirty purple. It's a tangled mess that hangs over their face. I grab them by the arm and confirm it with their level of shock and resistance."It was YOU! AHA! I knew it was you!" I say with conviction, but letting my excitement get the best of me. I pull the Hollow-in-human-form to the back and disappear behind the bathroom swinging doors. Rukia gives me a blank stare. She's surprised but understands. Inside the bathroom, the Hollow slips out of my grip and shrinks, vanishing into the planked floor through a broken gap.... just like a mouse. I look closer, there's a pool of dirty water underneath these planks. The bathroom is very strange. (I'll have to illustrate it. [**3**]) But in the first room, I set my black dufflebag with red symbols on it down on the bathroom counter. The second two rooms ahead are bathrooms complete with... only urinals and planks for flooring. Below them, I can see dirty water again. The right planked-room is the one with the missing chunks of wood, and where the Hollow escaped. The left planked room has no missing wood, but a rusty blue steam-pipe wheel on the ground in the center of the room. I need to follow the Hollow, but I won't crawl down there unless the water is gone. I realize that the blue wheel must drain the water! I turn it clockwise, a little bit at a time... and it's working! The water starts to descend very slowly. Gradually as I turn, and the level descends, the rusty blue wheel crumbles and chips until its nothing but a metal stub with nothing to grip. I stand up and walk to the right planked room. The water is still there, but I can get underneath the planks without getting too wet now. I crawl down and can go under the wall to the next room. I stand up and I'm now in a room that turns to my right and follows a hallway. The water's up to my feet and its very dim in here. Trash floats along the dirty water.

<memory skips>

I was so close to finding that Hollow! It must have gotten away, because I didn't remember actually doing it. I think Rukia needs to know now- maybe she can help. She should understand if it got away. We'll find it again the next time it strikes. But what if she was trusting me? Testing me? Oh well. I walk out a door at the end of the sewer-like hallway to the left and it leads outside. There's no one. The world is empty. I walk back inside, heart-racing, then stop myself. I decide to use the front entrance this time to avoid getting wet again. My vision hangs back while I run ahead.

There's a figure crouching on the roof watching me, in all black.
"Finally, the Father of this World has returned."

I get back inside to the bathroom, where I set my black dufflebag- but it's been turned into a beige purse. I dig through it for something that'll help. I pull out a tin of Mentoids and pop one in my mouth. Memories of these mints rush through my mind... but they aren't the same as they used to be. The taste is dull and unfulfilling. I dig for more and find an Ipod... I'm sort of relieved, if I'm stuck in this World, I'll at least have music. Or even better, maybe I can use binaural beats to wake my out of this World. Wait- I'm drea-

(I wake up... and stretch... clinging on to what little dream recall I had at the time. I stopped and lied still for a moment to hang on to it, before typing this.)

[Thursday, September 5th, 2012]
(It's been a week almost since the last real recall... Nathan and Alex have been waking me up every attempt. I need a less alarming wake-up from now on. Less distraction. I need to be patient. The weed hasn't been helping, so I've decided to quit. At least for two weeks. So my next smoking date can be on the 20th.)

(The dream I had before Nathan woke me up):
The short recall of the dream started with- I was sitting in the car with Alex driving and Nathan in the back seat. We were in Surprise, around the Walmart area in the parking lot. It was probably around 5-6PM because it was light out still, but obviously towards the end of the day. I was singing two songs at once... having trouble determining the difference between them. The first one that I recall thinking about in the dream was, "Simplistic Trance-Like Getaway" by Never Shout Never. But also, at the same time it sounded like another song... "Beginner's Mind" by Bright Eyes. Around the same time, we were pulling out of the parking lot and heading home to Wickenburg. The last thing I remember was watching the powerlines pass. That's when Nathan woke me up in WL by rapping at my window.

(That was a very interesting choice of song. They both were... very... involved in my state of WL. I couldn't help but feel chills listening to the words after I had woken up. How could I know to choose those songs? Does my subconscious have control of my dreambody when my waking consciousness doesn't? Should I treat it as a seperate entity? I think so.)

[Friday, August 31st, 2012]
I'm now a member of an underground club (that I can't help but relate to WoW guilds) that meets online sometimes... but this is just a ruse/disguise. The real club is located just outside of town, off the out-of-town highway. I go in the first time and I'm pretty awkward. I ask for a cigarette and someone gives me a halfie. I have trouble lighting it but do it a strange way... it impresses someone. (By the way, we are inside a strange warehouse-hideout with ramps and rails like an indoor skatepark. There is a control room elevated on a platform in the center of the warehouse.) Suddenly it's time to go, so we all slowly make for the exit. I notice a blonde hair girl walking way ahead of me and say something to one of the members beside me. The dream fades.

+

Now I'm at school. I'm broke and lost, and I'm trying to find my way through a hallway filled with countless kids I know. I come to a fork and follow Jessie Brumley to the right. It leads outside with a sign that has 4 numbers, some of them double digit. These must be room/class numbers. I realize this is the wrong way because of how few classes are that way. I return to the left to find Malakie, she's standing by a set-up table and making sure that kids get food tickets for lunch. Apparently, it is lunch time right now. I approach and am next, but 3-4 girls cut me off by making a line and take my place. I make it obvious I'm annoyed but get back in line. This time when I get to Malakie, she hands me a $5 bill and then a $20 bill. I'm surprised, but thrilled. She notices my confused face, "You have no money! Take it." she insists. I'm grateful, "Thank you." I say politely. I walk out the door behind her.

+

[Dream memory first starts to become clear here]
I'm with my Dad, and he's unhappy about something. We make our way through the same dirt road from the same out-of-town highway. We walk in silence and he slowly morphs into the leader of the Underground Club. We reach our hideout and he takes me to the center room and (memory is kind of foggy here again) he talks to me for awhile. Very slowly and calmly, he turns into a ghost. He's dying right in front of me. When he's dead, he makes me leader for some reason. I only understand that he's dead and he gives no apparent sign of being dead, other than now being very quiet. He doesn't vanish or fall over... I ask him, "Can you at least walk with me?" I'm referring to outside. He stares at me and nods...

Once we're outside, we meet an RM member outside who is unaware of the ex-leader's condition. He must be early to a meeting. I take a closer look at him and he has a Renji/Excelzior feel to him, as if he's important and experienced within the Club. The ex-leader speaks to him, "I'm done and gone. I'm out of here." Renji casually nods, "Okay." and waves us off. I start to walk a little prouder. I am the new leader after all.

My memory skips a bit. We're still just outside, but now I'm in front of a fenced off area. To the left beyond the fence is a hole in the earth. It's enourmous. There's one on the right too. Suddenly, I'm with the club, or at least with some of them. I'm extremely different, I have my personality back: I'm Moki, and I talk cute, but with an aire of confidence and knowledge, and a hint of mischief. (Like the Cheshire Cat, or ___ from Tiger/Dragon) In front of eveeryone, I'm so happy I could fly. So I do. I flap my arms and hover face-foward to the ground for a moment before slowly/surely lifting up higher. Except for one Galkan-looking man, the rest of the club is sitting on a platform next to the fence. I try to fly up but the big Galka man snatches me out of the air and sets me up on the platform with the rest of the members before I can make it myself. I wake up.

+ [I record the first half of this on paper, then fall asleep again after failing to WILD.]

Now I'm back on the dirt road, but this time with Alex, Nathan, Casey, and two other RM's, and it's dusk. I'm going to show them the hideout and the holes. We make our way down the road which seems to take longer than usual. It's different. We finally make it to where the club house is and there's only a... shack. It's not here now. I turn to the holes behind the fences, and instead of finding what I remember, I see a cemetary. We approach the cemetary anyways; I'm not giving up yet. The others stoop down to read the stones while I enter and walk through the gate. Once inside, we don't find what we were looking for... but a normal looking man walks in front of me and says something ironic. (I wish I could remember.)

(I can't believe I didn't become lucid in the last dream. I had JUST recorded this dream in my journal... )

[Wednesday, August 29th, 2012]
(Three dreams. My dad was in some of them. But overall failed recall.)
(EDIT: I just remember one of the dreams. It was a nightmare.)

The entire dream was me trying to complete some strange paranormal competition event. There were thousands of participants. It consisted of a number of phases and it was spread out over an open scene with changing environments. For instance, most of the land was forest, but just up north, there was a line that seperated icy wasteland from it, and to the south; desert.

The earliest stage I really "remember" was Phase 6: We were transported back in time to World War II and were in front of an enormous cathedral. I walked in with a group of 3-4 other RM's, us being way behind the rest of the crowd. There were no guards in the first room, in fact there wasn't anyone. The rest were all in the next room with the pupit in front and the benches facing it. Everyone had crowded in there for some reason, and Hitler was giving a speech to them. I remember hearing screams and suddenly there was growls and gunfire. (I was so thankful for being slow.) We turned to the left and followed a short hallway to a few joint-bedrooms where we discussed what to do next. For SOME odd reason, the rest of the group came up with the BRILLIANT idea that two of them would have sex in the bed as if it would solve anything. I went with their plan. I was to have guard duty outside in the hallway. The man who was going to have sex with one of the women asked me if it was okay that he was doing this, as if this woman was my lover or something. I shrugged; I didn't know any of them. They were all unrecognizable DC's. They started and I walked out of the room and sat down in the hallway with my back to the wall and waited.

The next thing I know, we WON. We advanced to the next round, and I wasn't even sure how. Maybe all we had to do was survive. Our group somehow also aquired a map that was coded that didn't help us in any observable way.

Onto Phase 7. The host (who happened to be an Owl-being) told us that we would have to find the next area on our own. At this time we were standing by an old rotting two-story house and the forest around us was in just of bad condition. Spooky. But the house was locked all around. 4 ninjas (probably Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too.) seperate from our group, walked past and I overheard them trying to figure out what to do next. They were stumped like us. Once they were gone, I climbed the building to the roof and climbed in through the belltower's window on top. The rest of my group followed suit. Once in, a few more people leaked in, but there had to be less than 10 total. When our group reached a familiar hallway that resembled my old home's hall, we all split up and took a different room. The room I had was my old bed room. There were two others in the room with me. We were tearing it up looking for a clue... a treasure... anything. Suddenly, a loud buzzing noise erupted from outside the room. I ran out to hear screams and laughter and my heart skipped a few beats as I listened. Everyone in my group was already dead. The two people in the room I had just been in had vanished. I was alone. I heard a sick laugh again and suddenly the darkest music began to play and I heard someone screaming, "TATTOOS AND CLOWNS. TATTOOS AND CLOWNS." It was a fucking demon clown. He was coming for ME. I thought about hiding behind a propped up mattress, but scurried to the doorless-closet instead. There was a small bit of wall to hide behind at least there. Back to the wall and out of sight, I waited in silence. My heart began to race faster and faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up; my heart still beating out of control.