Threecat's Dreamtime

Woke up around 6:00 from an earlier dream cycle, DJed a bit, and then worked on MILD for several minutes. Here was the result:

I am at a dreaming convention or conference. I am walking around, maybe ordering food or looking for the restroom. I pass a man who seems a bit shady and scary. I am walking away so as not to cause a conflict when I decide to confront him, because this is just a dream. It now fully strikes me that I am dreaming. I nose pinch. I walk back to look for the DC, but cannot find him. Oh well.

The dream was long, so some material was lost. I decided to scope out the restroom; inside, under the stalls, I see dirty work boots. I turn around and look for the women's restroom. I can't find it. I laugh at my dream's attempt to thwart me.

Outside, I am walking across a plaza when I see a friend of mine from WL. She is quite pretty in this dream, and I decide to walk with her. I put my arm around her shoulder, and then when she does not reciprocate, I put her arm around my waist. She seems quite happy to be walking with me. I stroke her hair a bit, but firmly decide this will not be a sex dream. We chat a bit (can't remember about what) and make our way back indoors.

We are now seated in an auditorium. I remember that I want to start interrogating the subconscious more. I decide to start with her.

"You do realize this is a dream, don't you?" I ask.

"Yes."

"So why exactly am I in your dream?" I then correct myself: "What I mean to say is, why are you in my dream?"

She begins to answer. I suddenly realize I wanted to do the task of the month? What were those tasks? She is talking but I don't hear her now. I begin trying to pluck out my eyeball. I focus on this very carefully, and try to phase my fingers through my face to get a better grip. I'm not having much luck, and I think to myself, I am not tearing my eye out of my face, even if I am dreaming. I decide to do the basic instead.

I turn to my friend and ask her to tell me a word in a different language.

She says some gibberish. "And what does that mean?" I ask.

She suddenly laughs. "Oh my god," she says. "I've got my words mixed up!" She then gets up and starts walking off, laughing. I look around for someone else to help.

I see a gangster-looking fellow sitting near me. I decide to ask him.

"River," he says.

"Ok," I say, a little peeved that this is an English word, "but what does it mean?" I ask.

"Vitherur," he says.

"Virrerrur?" I ask? I'm having trouble understanding his accent. He nods and says, "Vitherur."

"Vitherur," I say. He nods again. I consider asking him to reconstruct the order, but figure the information is the same: vitherur = river. I then decide I am going to fly. I have the slightest moment of hesitation, but then decide that no, even my abilities at flying are not stopping me from flying today. I easily lift into the air and begin soaring around the auditorium. The ceiling is high and so it is easy to get some good height inside the room. As I am soaring about, I think to myself that this is why I enjoy lucid dreaming. What better way to spend the morning? Triumphant orchestral music begins to play, and I fly around, turning over and over in the air. I see a young boy I know in WL flying as well, moving some electrical cables to prepare for the show. I fly past him, smiling.

I now decide to land and go into the back room. On the way, I see some items stacked on a shelf--maybe plates or bottles--and I sweep them to floor because this is a dream and I can do that. I marvel at the realistic clattering sound they make as they scatter on the floor, and the tactile sensation I get on my hands. I decide to attempt Photoshop TotM. I will the room around me to become purple, but realize it already is purple. I then decide to change it to sepia, based on another member's dream journal (can't remember whose at the moment, sorry!). Nothing happens. I shrug, and decide I may need a schema to assist me (such as a laptop). I head back out. As I am leaving, my flip-flop comes off (?) and I am about to turn around and get it when I remember I'm dreaming and say fuck it, and walk out with only one shoe on.

The auditorium has turned into a dimly lit hallway. Ceiling fans circulate at high speed. I try to fly but just fall to the ground. I don't mind much. I begin walking down the hallway. The light slowly fades though until it is almost completely dark. I hear a sound now--growling and teeth--and some animal attacks me in the darkness. I begin petting him vigorously, telling him he's a good boy (dog activated in my mind quickest). It begins to pant and then it licks me. I am still roughing him up happily when I realize I'm squeezing my pillow. I wake up to write this all down. Hit the MILD again but can't get back to sleep.

This morning I visited the doctor to get some blood taken. During the drawing process, I lost consciousness. The time in between was basically lost--I do not have any real solid feeling of "being" anywhere, except some flitting images or colors that my mind was attempting to process. I couldn't even really claim to have had a "self" at this point--basically just a feeling of confusion and bewilderment. In retrospect, I imagine this is what animals must feel like at times, and it was highly . . . disconcerting.

As I began to come out of it, in darkness, I had the distinct feeling of being in both a sitting position and a lying position, and it became crucial to me to understand which of these my body was currently in. Once I was revived (eyes open and conscious) I still did not recognize any of the people there (my doctor and two nurses) or where I was until my doctor explained what had happened. I tried to explain my confusion: "I didn't know where I was!" My doctor very compassionately nodded, as though he understood. Maybe he did. Very unpleasant experience--basically fatigued for the rest of the day with a mild headache.

So here was what came to me: was what I experienced coming out of the state (or within the state? hard to say) an example of what death will "feel" like? If so, I can only say I expect it will be terrible--at least the dying part.