whiterain

ok so i went back to manchester again and got lucid partly thanks to another parrot flying past..

anyway i treid to revisit this place i repeatedly dream non lucidly about. it is a big building on the middle of a wooded area that sometimes appears old, but sometimes like a newer industrialised structure. i was even seeing it on maps in the dream as being in the north east of the town. i found the street and many nearby buildings that i had visited many times in dreams before. the was a house that bears a resemblence to one of the places i lived, and also a pub in which this girl told me it was her birthday. she was pretty but i was so single minded about finding this house that i just kind of ignored it as a non lucid dream character. i didnt really find the house, but i think i eventually ended up back inside it or something really similar.

i have been thinking alot recently about how i have developed a real problem in socialsing, or even wanting to socialise, but in the dream i was back in a party mode and with a couple of old mates. again it wasa really comfortin dream that really reminded me of the simple joys of just being around other people. i wish i could remember more of that part of it though, as it almost seemed like the only reason if was fun was because i was drunk again which i have been off for aout 3 years now. in the dream party imet people who claimed to be my step brothers. i asked why and they said that my mum had had a relationship with their dad. this is odd because a long while back i had a dream at the same location in which my mum was no longer with my dad and was in a relationship with some greek guy who i never saw. odd. either its something like just a reminder of how we are all family and i should be spending alot more time meeting the rest of my family and socialising, or perhaps it is even an insight into another life...?

just so i dont forget, i went through a tunnel locally where the river goes under the road and it turned into this whole underground complex thing, a bit like the old open air swimming pool used to be like

18/10/2010

most of them were just party type dreams, where i was carrying these girls around but we were all really hammeed and kept falling over. these are the other memorable moments. went to see my cousin who was getting married. some of her blokes family had this weird condition like warts on their hands. i could feel my hands kind of vacuuming the feeling of the warts into them as i did this everyones hands cleared up. i said to everyone can you feel this and they were all nodding and i felt an amazing buzz.

later i went with my dad to see some guy who had a broken roof. for some reason he was not allowed to get it fixed so we were going to try and fight for him to have the right to fix it. as i waited there was a woman with a deli van and she was giving us free olives. kept on missing dream signs and the biggest one was a cracker. walking through a park in the snow and there were loads of king penguins. as if local penguins wasnt enough of a dream sign, then they all started to fly. of course i questioned this, yet the dc's were just doing there best to convince me that it was normal, or that they were different type of penguins and it was all fine

17/10/2010 back to the good dreams again. on a family trip to london to a place with bars and fariground rides. trying on stupid jackets with my dad. then went on this massive sky ride thing with my brother and there was only a bar to hold onto while the thing span you upside down and round and round 100 meters in the sky. my bro kept letting go and just floating which was scaring the shit out of me but kind of in a good way. later im strolling through town with a spliff and this guy approaches me thinking im a dealer. instead i get invited to a party later. walk towards a big crowd and decide its not the best idea witha smoke so i turn around and finish it and hold it in for as long as i remember. even better then the real thing

16/10/2010 had first bad dream for ages last night. weird thing was it started as soon as i fell asleep. started with a kind of paralysis where i was trying to walk, but i couldnt get anywhere fast due to some massive weight that seemed to hang onto my lower back. had similar ages ago but never this vivid and mindfucking.

anyway after that i was at some school event and afterwards we trashed a room. that room turned into my dining room. i drunk some red bull in the dream and i was 100% convinced that i had gone into some kind of freaky rage and trashed my house. so much so that i spent the rest of the dream putting everything back where it should be, constantly missing obvious dream signs of misplaced objects/furniture. woke up as i was picking bits of plastic up off the floor and i can still feel it now.

the lower back feeling has really made me think there is something in the idea of astral parasites, i cant think of another plausible explanation. i keep waking up with this odd feeling in my back, which isnt quite pain, yet is almost worse than having a pain there if that makes any sense. like the most extreme restless feeling that i just cant kick no matter what position i roll into

15/10/2010 WBTB WILDish still a little gap

lying down on left side with arm under head after 15 mins energy work on back.

drifted into a work dream, was there with a mate and we laughed about this massive long truck that someone was gonna have to try to drive round the yard. went inside and had to sit a test with odd questions such as bushs involvement on 911 and prizes of vouchers for milkshake. realised i didnt work there anymore so got lucid and asked my mate if he wanted to go and do something fun. he was pretty unresponsive which worked out well as i got the chance to just sit there and study the surroundings. was so real down to the fluttering of the papers pinned to the wall.

i tried to get fixed into the dream by studying the visuals and then decided it was time to try to hold the visuals while trying to wake up as slow as possible to try to find the borderline between awake and dreaming. started to get a subtle but beautiful buzzing feeling as the dream seemed to get realer and yet fade at the same time as if i was splitting my consciousness. my vision started to fade, but mostly in one eye, as if reality was in one eye and the dream in the other.

after losing the dream in one eye i tried to go back into it and was there straight away. normally when i sit in a dream and try to take it further or learn something, this is when the bizzare imagery pops in and also sometimes when frightening things start to happen as if to put me off. this happened again and my mate also got a little odd as if he was warning me but unlike past attempts this time the efforts were laughably helpless to stopping me. its like you change from concentrating your vision on the whole image and the image splits into many parts all of which your brain tries to concentrate on at the same time. this is usually off putting but this time it was easy to ignore it and try to find the gap between wake and sleep. finally tried to learn something again while lucid even though i initially just wanted to 'go do something fun' again

13/10/2010 well i really should have written this down as i woke up but here goes. i revisited a place similar to one i keep visiting and i can only suggest that it is some kind of dream college. there was one massive rectangular hall with high ceilings that i was using as a flying practice zone. there was an old school style to the rest of the building and the grounds were like some manor house. this is about 10% of what i remembered on awakening...

02/11/2010 wow well i had another holiday based dream, largely centred around me and about 50-100 mates from all different areas of my life together arriving at a resort. the main things that stick in my mind are speaking in complete clarity to craig and cj. one guy who looked like super hans seemed to be struggling with some acid so i looked at him and calmed him down, which made him calm and happy and started to make me feel like i was tripping after looking into his eyes. then i was going to go on some funfair ride but said i was afraid and this girl just pressed herself against me and all the fear went. the best part came later though. i was lying on top of a trolley pushing myself along the motorway when someone on a superbike came up behind me and asked if i wanted a push. they grabbed onto my feet and pushed me along at about 100 miles an hour on the frickin trolley. awesome. may remember more later..

21/10/10 ok so i had the same dream 3 times in a row, each time it became realer and more vivid. the 3rd time i found a couple of mates who were in the same costumes i remember from a festival we went to. i have been trying to revisit this time in dreams but with little success. when i saw them i was convinced it was actually happening. i told them clear as day that i had just had this dream 3 times and that finally this had actually happened and we were all stood there chatting. even all this talk of dreams didnt get me properly lucid but it was great anyway

12/10/10 had a dream of being back at old house in manchester with my housemate and trying to get him (and thus me) to realise its a dream by showing him to himself. all i remember was him looking at this other version of himself as if it was anybody really, then it fades

6/10/10ish i was standing in a park with a group of people when some larger than life characters flew over making me question the reality and realise it was a dream. i also had to ask myself if these people flying past were actually other people dreaming and visiting my dream because they just looked like they were extremely comfortable and experience at dreaming. they were essentially flying together stacked on top. the guy on the bottom had a kind of shamanic tribal clothing amd headgear thing going on and was doing most of the flying. there was a second bloke lying on his back who i dint get a good look at because i immediately looked past him to the woman on top who was white haired but really young looking and beautiful and just curled up half asleep with a grin on her face, on top of the second guy. she was dressed in a white robe type thing.

09/10/10 wbtb and then started kind of dreaming that i was looking through my closed eyes at the light imagery and gradually making it brighter and try to pull myself into it. moments later found myself in a dream which was fairly non descript exept for a couple of female dc's. tried not to get distracted while i just tried to settle myself into the dream, trying to think of the most worthwhile thing to do. eventually they crossed my path and i got a bit distracted contemplating the moralities of seducing dream characters and kind of faded out while still trying to stabalise