Xanous' Dream Journal

#155 - 4:32AM - DILD/DEILD

I am at work with the M3 bunch. This dream version of work is a repeat thus familiar to me. We all go to break and I hang out with John, Brandon, Hobie, and Frank. After chatting it up with them I start to go back to work but Hobie tells me we are supposed to have a meeting. I sit back down next to Hobie.

As I am sitting there I realize that I am just wearing underwear. I really want at least a shirt on. I look down and I am wearing one of my blue shirts. I feel better and hope that the fact that my boxer briefs at least look a little like shorts. I try to think back were and when I took my pants off. It feels hot here but I can't believe I would just work in my underwear. I tell myself that I want to change my behavior and never do this again. I look over at Hobie and see that he is wearing jean shorts. I want to copy him and I look down again and see that my underwear have changed to jean shorts as well. I feel so relieved that I don't even think much about it.

I notice everyone is watching at TV mounted on a wall so I pay attention. It is some guy going on about cancer and soon I am there next to him. He brings out an emaciated woman who looks mostly skin and bones and talks about her having cancer. She looks familiar to me but I don't bother (Now that I think about it she looks like an ex girlfriend who was having medical issues. I wonder how shes doing now?) Soon she turns into a discolored corpse and the wheelchair takes her way. The speaker emphazies how she died and how horrible death is.

I wonder off while he is still going on about this. As I am examining a video game/ride system with a two person spacecraft. I say to myself, "Death is not the end." I get in the space ship and it closes around me. I want to play with it but think I better now just yet. I say "maybe in the next dream." Then the significance of those two statements seems to fit together. I think how reincarnation always makes me think of lucid dreaming. I become lucid.

Unfortunately, I wake in shitty SP. The vibrations are really strong and I can't move. It takes a lot of effort to touch the floor and transition out of bed. But even then I don't feel as if I am in my house. I just feel like I am running in the void. I try to imagine some scene and a dim image of something I can't remember materializes but breaks apart like glass. All the while I can see light through my eyelids and, for a second, I wonder if the bedroom light is actually on.

After some time I feel like my hands are really in the air so do a nose plug. Yep not real. I hold my hand there for a second and notice how odd my nose feels. Then it's like I can feel my physical body and my dream body at the same time. I move my hand and think I better just focus on my dream body.

I decide to try opening my eyes hoping maybe I am fulling in a dream now. I see the bedroom as it should be and I no longer feel like I am running but moving my legs in bed. I see dark shadows above me but think it looks like my hands. I pick up the pace a little and notice how real it feels but how I don't even see my legs moving. It looks like my hands are just pawing the air in the darkness. I laugh a little on the inside and close my eyes.

I try to transition again. This time I have to peel the blanket of me like its glued to my skin. Then I try moving my legs over the side of the bed but this time my actual physical leg moves and SP is over.

I do a nose plug to be sure and DJ the experience.