Xanous' Dream Journal

4:41AM -#151 - Longest SP - WILD

I am counting 1 I am dreaming, 2 I am dreaming, ect. while focusing on my body. Suddenly I am gripped by intense sleep paralysis (NOT REM atonia this time)I hear a demonic cat sound and feel a presence hovering above me. The vibrations are really intense and I cannot move. I feel the entity grab my balls and the vibrations intensify there to the point of mild pain. I try to cry out but the sound is caught in my throat and it sounds like a feeble wheezing. I open my eyes and see swirling black entities like Dementors above me. I am terrified but having been here many times; I force myself to relax and stay calm. I will the entity away. Immediate calm and quite comes over me.

I do my usually getting out of bed. It's dark and I feel really dizzy. I fall backwards into the wall. I feel like I am falling into a bottomless abyss. I see the hole I entered getting farther away.

I find myself back in bed. I can't see at all now. I use my dream hands to pry my dream eyes open. My eyes do open but I can see the bedroom and the red glow of the alarm clock. I close them. I do this several times but feel like its my physical eyes. At one point I feel the ceiling fan drying my eyes out and have to blink. I try getting up again but pretty much the same thing happens again. Then again I get up. I try to phase through a wall but it's solid. I am too frazzled to think clearly. I end up back in bed.

The vibrations are so strong. I decide to wait and focus on the vibrations. I feel like I am lying in an awkward position but I am not hurting so I don't move. I realize too that my head is at the foot of the bed and I can feel the box fan on my face. I don't care. I'm in the zone. I hear my wife ask I am ok. I become annoyed and tell her, "Yes Shhhhhhh!" I wonder how I am talking in SP but just go with it. I consider the probable fact that none of this is really happening. Still, I feel the vibrations and can't really move. I get the feeling that we are in my childhood bedroom in Luling from my teenage years. The lay out just seems to match.

I think I hear my son cry and I hear and feel my wife leave the room. I just lay there in waiting. What seems like a few minutes later she comes back and gets in bed. I realize that now I am back in the right position in bed. My hands are free to move now so I reach over to feel if my wife is there. I grab the ankle of a small child. I hear someone *gasp* so I let go. Was it my son? I was surprised she brought him to bed with us. I shrug it off. I feel like I can really move my hands now. I rub them and feel my face. Super real. BUT I can still feel vibrations. I decide to just wait this one out and let the dream form.

This waiting was a really long time. I think I'm forgetting a few details but it's mostly all there. I start doing things like the Gladius swing, Walking motions, anything repetitive to maybe get something started. Nothing worked. I get really bored so I meditate for a few minutes. Then I visualize being on the beach. I see some really vivid images but its more like flickering photographs. I try to imagine my feet in the sand but its a dull sensation that quickly fades. At some point I start talking to myself. I say something like "Well Shit. Hurry up dream. I am dreaming." I say all this out loud and I wonder if my wife can hear me because it sound ultra real. I begin to think at some point that I am going to be stuck like this forever and never wake up. I think this is my idea of Hell. Then I laugh and say out loud, "Of course it won't. It will change. I just need to stay patient."
After some more waiting and fiddling about in bed I start to hear music. It's Sugar Ray's Fly but instead of "I just want to fly" it is "I just want to dance." The beat and music and vocals are very high quality. I am thankful for some entertainment right now and I feel relieved to have a distraction. I begin to sing along loudly and dance as best I can in bed. I move my arms, head and upper body in rhythm to the music. It begins to feel invigorating and soulful. I enjoy the hell out of it. Soon the words fade and the music begins to wind down like a slow record player.

Start at 48 seconds


Then there is nothing. No physical sensation. No sound. No movement. I just wait a second and the BAM!

I find myself standing in a big open room with no furniture. The room is well lit and there is gray carpet. I look around and say, "OHHHHH WOOOOOW! THAT IS SO COOL!" The layout of the house is off but reminds me of the house we lived in Luling. I can see out the windows as there are no blinds or curtains. I see the front yard but in the distance there is a thick mist. I have a feeling that my brain hasn't finished rendering the dream yet but I feel super stable and confident. I make my way to the front door. At that point I remember how this house was "haunted" in waking life. I imagine a horrible demon coming after me as I close the door but nothing happens.

Now I am outside the lighting is a little worse. The world looks cold and gray. I walk along the front of the house on the sidewalk. I realized that I forgot what my task was. I think for a second that I really should stay inside until the dream gets more stable but I am afraid and really impatient.

I can hear something like cheering and jeering at the nearby football stadium. I feel curious but I have something in mind first. I really want to burn this house down and never visit it again. There are too many bad memories. I see my shadow projected on the side of the house. I see brown wood siding. (Brick in real life) I think that if I can start a fire there is will catch and be gone. I do the clapping motion that I used for the fireworks TOTM. I hear a loud sound of fire like a flame thrower but only see a small flame on my shadow like a cigarette lighter. I try several times but only see and hear the same. Then I hold my hand up still looking at my shadow. I see handcuffs and a chain coming off it. I note this but ignore it for. The crowd at the stadium is jeering loudly now. (Damn I could have turned that into the Colosseum if I thought about it) I tell myself I will investigate in a minute. I really want to get the fire trick down. I focus on the palm of my hand. I see a glowing ball form. I stare at it and focus longer and harder.

Then, I am suddenly awake. NOOOOOOO!