I've Been Having a Serious Problem...

[spockman]

Okay. There is this one topic that has pervaded my LDs and non-LDs. A certain fantasy of mine. (I won't go deeper than that. .) But I can't translate it to my dreams. I know, somebody call the wahhmbulance. But it's worse than that. Everytime the topic even comes up, if I mention it to a DC or another DC mentions it because I thought about it, BOOM!!! I wake up and find myself staring at the back of my eyelids. I've had multiple LDs screwed up by this because it happens to come up and the LD is over. And since I am so frustrated, I dwell on it more and I have more dreams ruined because it shows up in more dreams. I used to MILD that it would happen in my next LD. Now it seems to be a curse. Strangley, I've even woken up in non-lucids because the topic came up. I don't really want to find a way to eliminate it from my LDs. I want to find away where it can come into my LDs without my waking. And before I am told that 'Oh, it just excites you' consider this, once I just calmly mentioned it to a DC without any sort of action invlolved and it was over. (The dream.) I know that that could be attributed to my expecting the dream to end, but it was before I realized that this 'certain topic' as I will call it was a dream ender. So that can't be it. Please, any suggesstions/explanations are appreciated.

[Rozzy]

well i think the only thing you really can do is keep trying to incorporate it to your dreams, and slowly but surely, you'll be able to have that topic in your dream with out you waking.

[Shift]

Just stop believing that's the case? Are you talking about sex? a lot of people have this problem I guess. If I were you, I'd bring it up to people in real life, if possible. Just mention it, if they're like "what?" just say, "Oh nevermind, I just forgot what I was gonna say" but really be looking around, observing how the world hasn't ended? This post is a bit too vague to really be able to try and give any good advice You could get in the habit of doing a stabilization technique every time you think of and bring up this topic. Say it's bananas, just to make it easy. Say you see something yellow, and you say to yourself, "Hey, that's the same color as a banana!" instantly start rubbing your hands together, focusing on the environment, speaking out loud to yourself, etc. If you see a banana, eat a banana, smell a banana, hear someone else mention a banana, think of an icecream sundae, or hear Gwen Stefani, or see a photo of a monkey, immediately start stabilizing the dream (well, try to stabilize reality, since you're just practicing), expecting things to remain nice and steady. That's what I'd try.

[spockman]

Okay... I see what you all are saying and I think that I can relate it to my dreams. As far as what it is, it isn't sex. It isn't really pre-emptive sex either, but what most would consider a very odd turn on/fantasy. (Most would probably say wierder than cat girls if Slayer is watching.) At any rate, I will try what you all have suggested. Thanks for the help.

[Rozzy]

no prob. but i agree with shift. maybe talin about it will make it easier. maybe it's the stress of not letting anyone know. good luck.

[Cacophony]

Well, now I want to know what this is all about. I'm a doctor. Us doctors, we... I'm sorry - I'm not really a doctor. Hopefully, no one holds that against me. AHEM. So, I think Shift gave some really good advice (unless it's so top-secret, which, judging by the fact that you won't let us kiddies on the message board know what it is....). I can't really give you any further advice, grasshopper. I just would like you to know that I support you, and we're all here for you. If need be, I will call the Wahhmbulance. Fin.

[Shift]

Just because it's top secret doesn't necessarily mean that you can't talk about it. Honestly, bear with me. Do you have a dog, or a cat, or even a mirror that you can talk to? Talking to yourself about issues in the mirror.... that can be a very powerful experience. Try it out and see what happens. Or to your pet, or something. Even a stuffed animal. If you can't talk to a real person, just pretend that you are. Just getting things out loud, off your chest, even if it's not to another actual person, can really help. I'd try it. If you can get comfortable talking about it like that, hopefully it will get better in dreams and not wake you up!

[spockman]

Alright, thanks. I'll definitley do that.

[Rozzy]

did this get resolved?

[Maeni]

Oh my god you're driving us insane with your secretivity! DX Not that I'm trying to make you tell, if you don't want to. Just letting you know that I'm going insane. Anyways! AH HAH! I'm just going to perspectivate this to a conversation I had with my friend yesterday about pedophilia. (there we go again) I had been reading a bit about it, and the internet either told me "LOL SELF ESTEEM FAIL" or "Mental Disorder LOL" And so I asked my friend about it, I have loads of self esteem. (I became unsure though, but yeah, I has loads.) And then he told me that it was pretty normal actually, y'know, lots of teenagers get unsure and think they're homosexual, when they really are not. Now, you're being secretive, but seeing as you're 16 years old (I'm 15) I think it could be our fucked up brains getting new ideas, as my friend told me. I can keep going on with this! When I'm "imagining" (wanking) I have some pretty fucked up imaginations, and when I think about it, I would never ever in my life do those things in reality. It's easy to imagine these things in your head while you're alone, since you already know with yourself that oh yeah it's just imagination. But say you had a wacky sexy imagination about, well, your sister or something, just an example! No offence intended. At the time, it seemed all fine in your head, but the next morning, you see her in reality, and is reminded that she's actually a human, and if you did those things to her, that'd be terrible. Gettit? As we all know, dreams are much more real than imaginations, so I'm just imagining that you get these thoughts and then suddenly getting hit by that OMG THATS SO WRONG feeling, waking you up. I could be way off with my perspectivation arrows, but to me it looks like my theory fits I'm going to have to go count how many of my posts has had pedophilia mentioned in them, I bring it up too much :V

[Shift]

Oh my god you're driving us insane with your secretivity! DX Not that I'm trying to make you tell, if you don't want to. Just letting you know that I'm going insane. Anyways! AH HAH! I'm just going to perspectivate this to a conversation I had with my friend yesterday about pedophilia. (there we go again) I had been reading a bit about it, and the internet either told me "LOL SELF ESTEEM FAIL" or "Mental Disorder LOL" And so I asked my friend about it, I have loads of self esteem. (I became unsure though, but yeah, I has loads.) And then he told me that it was pretty normal actually, y'know, lots of teenagers get unsure and think they're homosexual, when they really are not. Now, you're being secretive, but seeing as you're 16 years old (I'm 15) I think it could be our fucked up brains getting new ideas, as my friend told me. I can keep going on with this! When I'm "imagining" (wanking) I have some pretty fucked up imaginations, and when I think about it, I would never ever in my life do those things in reality. It's easy to imagine these things in your head while you're alone, since you already know with yourself that oh yeah it's just imagination. But say you had a wacky sexy imagination about, well, your sister or something, just an example! No offence intended. At the time, it seemed all fine in your head, but the next morning, you see her in reality, and is reminded that she's actually a human, and if you did those things to her, that'd be terrible. Gettit? As we all know, dreams are much more real than imaginations, so I'm just imagining that you get these thoughts and then suddenly getting hit by that OMG THATS SO WRONG feeling, waking you up. I could be way off with my perspectivation arrows, but to me it looks like my theory fits I'm going to have to go count how many of my posts has had pedophilia mentioned in them, I bring it up too much :V I so don't understand the connection between paedophilia to homosexuality to incest. Or how some are ok if you think about it and keep that to yourself, but how others aren't hahaha. I think I get what you're saying though. Keep it to yourself, or just don't hurt other people, and there's just no problem. That's pretty my my life philosophy. Minus the paedophilia, homosexuality, and incest! hahaha

[Rozzy]

lol!!!!

[Maeni]

I so don't understand the connection between paedophilia to homosexuality to incest. Or how some are ok if you think about it and keep that to yourself, but how others aren't hahaha. I think I get what you're saying though. Keep it to yourself, or just don't hurt other people, and there's just no problem. That's pretty my my life philosophy. Minus the paedophilia, homosexuality, and incest! hahaha Well, incest is the action of having sex with a family member, so it's pretty hard to keep incest to yourself. You can keep fantasies about it to yourself You're fantasy and your imaginations are your own kingdom, nobody can place rules on that. If they try to get in, they better have to adapt to those rules, or they can stay the fuck out. But that is if they come to your kingdom. Unless shared dreams are possible, then comming to your kingdom is impossible anyways. Just don't bring your kingdom to them, that's when its bad. Hurr, I just repeated you with some other words. Brain - your own kingdom, fight da power. Reality - not your kindgom, resist.

[Shift]

Well, incest is the action of having sex with a family member, so it's pretty hard to keep incest to yourself. You can keep fantasies about it to yourself You're fantasy and your imaginations are your own kingdom, nobody can place rules on that. If they try to get in, they better have to adapt to those rules, or they can stay the fuck out. But that is if they come to your kingdom. Unless shared dreams are possible, then comming to your kingdom is impossible anyways. Just don't bring your kingdom to them, that's when its bad. Hurr, I just repeated you with some other words. Brain - your own kingdom, fight da power. Reality - not your kindgom, resist. Well yea I meant fantasies. I think by default going through with paedophilia you're hurting someone

[Maeni]

Oh really? How will it hurt anybody? I have some pretty strict policies about it, because I know what hurts persons and what dosn't. Rape (and other sexual contact) obviously hurts them, and child pornography supports child abuse, so that hurts them too. But then how exactly does the fantasies hurt anybody?

[Shift]

Oh really? How will it hurt anybody? I have some pretty strict policies about it, because I know what hurts persons and what dosn't. Rape (and other sexual contact) obviously hurts them, and child pornography supports child abuse, so that hurts them too. But then how exactly does the fantasies hurt anybody? We're both agreeing to the same thing and you are misreading what I am saying. I said, yes. Fantasies, even ones about hurting people, if you keep them to yourself and never go through with them, whatever. I couldn't care less, enjoy in things that creep me out, but I don't care because no one is getting hurt. But if you actually go through and follow through and enact a fantasy, such as paedophilia where a child is being raped or molested and harmed, that's messed up.

[Maeni]

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry I see what you were saying now

[seeker28]

I'm going to just ignore all of the banter about pedophillia and adress Spockman. Sounds like your subconscious has decided that your fantasy is TABOO for dreams. That is why no matter how calm you are or whatever you wake up. If you want to dream about it you have to change your subconscious mind. You want your subc to be gung-ho about it. Like ****fantasy, here we come -- woot! To do this try following Shift's advice about talking about it to someone/something. Get comfortable with the fantasy. And know that whatever your fantasy is it is pretty much garunteed that someone else (or more likely a whole TON of someone elses) have the same fantasy. How do I know this? ... If you really want to know, pm me.

[Maeni]

I'm going to just ignore all of the banter about pedophillia and adress Spockman. Sounds like your subconscious has decided that your fantasy is TABOO for dreams. That is why no matter how calm you are or whatever you wake up. If you want to dream about it you have to change your subconscious mind. You want your subc to be gung-ho about it. Like ****fantasy, here we come -- woot! To do this try following Shift's advice about talking about it to someone/something. Get comfortable with the fantasy. And know that whatever your fantasy is it is pretty much garunteed that someone else (or more likely a whole TON of someone elses) have the same fantasy. How do I know this? ... If you really want to know, pm me. This. And I know, I dragged the topic too much off-topic... I'm sorry about that But yeah, you gotta convince yourself that dreaming about it WON'T make you wake up as Seeker just explained without killing your thread...

[drewmandan]

It sounds like lucidity isn't a problem for you, just stability. Since you're fully lucid, just remember to DEILD as soon as you exit. Then you get a second chance (and third and fourth, etc.) at making your sick, deranged dreams come true.

[spockman]

Thanks guys. About the whole taboo point, that makes sense. All of your explanations about it make sense... So yeah, I'll try and get my mind more comfortable with it as well as remember to DEILD. (I'm bad with that.) To address some other stuff it's nothing immoral or illegal, just odd. Anyway, thanks guys for the respinses. They've been helpful.