I mention Jung because I found it funny that I was reading his book, which I had not touched in months, modern man in search of a soul right before going to sleep last night which turned into this incredibly vivid and dramatic dream and then lead me here; I had to share and put it down somewhere.

It starts off with being on a run way preparing for a flight with several family members, certain older members on my mothers side, with the intention of taking a holiday to the tropics, I remember the aircraft as being like a mid sized commercial people carrier with two propellers on each wing but for some reason they were wooden on what was a very modern plane. On entering the plane the pilot was sitting there in the seats right at the entrance welcoming and talking to people, very friendly, I go to take my seat which is right next to him, gesture to handshake and end up in a very friendly hands clasped arm wrestling position, very chummy like. Then I notice sitting in between myself and the pilot is an old friend of mine, although he resembles Walter White Jr. (breaking bad) with a disability (cerebral palsy) but is also deaf, the pilot is trying to communicate with him but to no avail.

Most take their seats, my mother and uncle in law are there, the ones I am originally taking the trip with and my friend (who is 'normal' now) and I are talking to my uncle about how we are going to get up very early each morning to play golf (I would love a golf holiday, golf addict recently) and annoy the rest of the family doing so each day, in the house we will be staying at. The plane inside by the way is fairly large with long rows of seats, like a commercial jet and then suddenly this group of teenage school girls comes flowing in filling up a couple of the rows in front of me, I am very annoyed by this and the idea of having to put up with them throughout the flight. Then I go to discuss something with my old friend next to me, I think my annoyance and notice now I am next to this young very stunning very light blonde headed girl who is very annoyed at me trying to talk to her who completely shuns me and notice my old friend is now a row ahead of me on the other side of the plane; I figure at this point I am just going to try and sleep through the flight and feel quite relaxed.

The plane takes off quite smoothly and high but into what looks like a bit of a head wind, now this is the kind of weird part, I know in my mind the plane is up in the air and fine but the dream is then sort of fragmenting in frames and the plane is back near the ground, it is in the air but really struggling to get up and heading towards trees, going through trees, looking like crashing but this does not bother me because I know the plane is actually higher up in the air fine. Then all of a sudden I am right up in the cockpit, which is not sealed off and wide open to the rest of the plane, and we are over the ocean flying into this ridiculously strong head wind which is pushing us down and making it difficult to keep the plane up, but the pilot seems confident and I am not fussed by this still planning on sleeping through it all and waking up at the destination, but this time when I try to relax and sleep in the dream it is more difficult and I am quite distracted and annoyed at the sounds around me. The rest of the passengers are quite worried at this point, one becomes a little hysterical but I look back wondering what there is to fear and that these people should chill, to some extent I realise my fear is not going to change what may happen so why bother worrying?

The head wind is just too much at this point and we are going down into the ocean, the pilot actually manages to land this quite smoothly and gently to my surprise but before I know it the nose/cockpit is sinking down and filling with water with the rest of the plane behind it. I look to these doors or windows on the side of the cockpit thinking of escape but feel it is futile and why bother, the water is coming in too quickly so then I am drowning, I can even hear the others next to me gasping/gurgling/drowning; I seem to not quite be as overwhelmed as them but end up having to succumb to the inevitability of my death. Of course at this point I wake up in a mild state of anxiety, was not too bad given the circumstances.

As a bit of background here I have had Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for over 10 years, even though at this point I have nearly got my health back, am participating socially and able to exercise quite well the isolation and physical breakdown for many years did create some social anxiety, it has been quite a task reconditioning myself, physically and mentally which is still going on. I still have ups and downs and do not feel I have control over my life still, or at least in much of the ways I would like; I realise few probably have control over their lives.

I do see many themes here and things I recognise, or that I think I recognise but as I understand our dreams happen for a reason which is generally not obvious to the person having them.

Curious to hear others thoughts, hope this was not too much detail/rambling