Thread: Xanous' Dream Journal

Originally Posted by Xanous

I had a rip accross my shoulders deep into my flesh. The skin flapped open like a loose piece of clothe.

Sounds like someone tore you a new Xanous!
(Sorry, I've been trying to hold that in for weeks. The opportunity was too good!)

Actually, it sounds kind of like a tooth dream, if it wasn't for the fact that it got better instead of worse. I have to read that one again.

Took an hour nap today.

I was in a dark cafeteria. I got a handful of peanut M&M's from a quarter machine like at work. I felt like I was at Freeman Hospital. I wanted more M&M's. I saw some almond M&M's behind the counter. I walked around and had to climb over some food carts. There was a young woman at the cash register. I thougt I was at Walgreen's but I was thinking of May's Drug. I got to the candy and there was only Peanut M&M's. I put the M&M's I had in my hand into my mouth. I felt the crunch as I chewed. No taste. I said something about there being no almond but these would do. The cashier asked if I was sure. I looked again. She said "oh no its just a case". Behind the candy were a bunch of people quietly sitting in chairs watching something on a TV. I could see the blushish-grey glow in thier faces (maybe they actually were blushish-grey like zombies) from whatever it was they were watching.

(I often find it strange how poeple tend to zombie out like that when they watch TV. Next time you are watching a movie or show with some poeple look around it will amaze you)

The TV was on the wall on the otherside of the candy. No one said anything when I walked infront of them to look at the candy. I hardly payed them any attention and thought nothing of them. I only though that I should hurry and get out of the way. Now that I think about it all the poeple sat satue-still like zombies. Wierd. I walked over to pay for the candy and then woke up.

I was walking in the woods. For some reason I took my shirt off. I left it on the ground thinking I would be back this way. It was my green MSSU shirt. I saw my shadow to my right. I was wearing shorts and carried a big stick. I could hear my footsteps crunch the leaves and twigs. There was a dry creek to my right and I could hear someone walking on the other side. I looked but I could not see anyone due to all the trees and brush.

I thought that whoever it was might thing I was an Aboriginee. We got to a clearing and a trail opened up that cut accross the creek. There stood and Afican tribal. I showed myself to him and stood there non threatining. I pointed behind me and said im going that way. He took a look at me, waved and walked away.

Now im feeling lost. I am in a little girls body. I find some huge rock with some kind of water drain off. I look up the rocks and see an Interstate. I climb up and look at the traffic. No one is stopping. I need to be helped. I hold my stick over my hand and then smash it on a rock. I think someone stops but a part of me is haveing fun and does not want to be rescued. I see a snake but it is flat and wide. It slithers off. I jump down into the water and find some think mud. I play in it and get stuck. The people that stopped look down at me. Its a man and two kids, a boy and girl. They ask they could take me home. I dont say anything because I feel I am just pretending to be a little girl. I just jump up and down exicedly and shake my head Yes. I wake up.

I was looking at the night sky with Rachel. We were talking about something. I noticed some nebula that was brown and something that looked white and egg shaped. The more I looked the more I thought there was something to remember. FInally it dawns on me I say the magics words "I am dreaming" but I wake up immediatly.

I saw my dead grandpa and he took me aside with an arm around me. He was preaching to me and I felt bad and guilty. I though oh I hope Im not possessed. I refused to believe it because I know it not true. I forced myself to wake up. After waking I realized I need to get rid of some sin in my life.

I was living at my old house in smithville. This time it had an awesome backyard. There was a huge swingset and playground and some computers on desks and and cover picknick tables. I was in a swing thinking how cool this was and how we would stay outside all summer. I was swinging and Deanna some how snagged my swing and I fell out and his the ground hard. I could hear her laughing. I layed there for a moment thinging she would check on me. Nope. So I got up and decided that the swings where in the way of the computers. I was going to rearrange when I woke up.

I was in the military and I did not want to be. I was thinking back to how I got there looking for a way out. I remembered signing the papers in KC. I remembered how the last time I got out it took two weeks and that was fast. I thought I would be dissapointed in myself if I quit and I should just stick it out. Then I thought of Rachel and how I missed her. I thought I should call her and see what she thought about it all. I wake up.

I was looking at a dry erase board. I saw something that Rachel wrote. It was talking about a guy named James. It said something about how wonderful he was and how good he mad her feel and all the things he did for her. I became outraged. I wanted to talk to her about it. Suddenly she appeared before me. She was in between me and the board. I asked her who James was and she said with a sweet smile "Oh he's just a friend I talk to sometimes. I went nuts and pointed out what she wrote. To my surprise I became violent. (Note to reader: I have never ever been violent to ANY woman ever.) I knew it had to be someone she worked with. I pushed her hard against the wall and grabbed her shirt in a fist. I was screaming and yelling and I told her she better tell me what the hell was going on. I was convinced she was cheating on me. I felt such strong emotion that I thought I would explode. She denied it all and it only made me more angry. I continued to push her around and I slapped her and called her a whore. I did not want this to happen and that other part of me realized I was dreaming. I forced myself awake. The time was 5:44am. I thought about trying DEILD but the dream was too terrible to re-enter lucid or not.

I was very depressed much of the day because of this dream. I realized that this dream was due to old fears and the things Rachel and I talked about during the day. Just a dream.

While my daughter was down for nap I decieded to take care some bills and did my normal thing. After a while I thought coffee and a cigarette sounded good but after that I felt kind of tired and bored so I decided to nap. I had a hard time falling a sleep. I thought since I drank so much coffee that I would not even sleep. My mind kept going on about some personal problems I have been having. I have also been in a lucid dry spell with not much recall. So I tried something. I have been feeling like I have been at war with my subconscious mind. I have struggeled with fear and paranoia about things going on in my life. So call me crazy, but I talked to my subconscious. I told it that we need to get along and work together I would like to have more LD's and be at peace with myself. I did that and OK whatever. After a minute I started to get relaxed a fall asleep. I was seeing the HI and even hearing audible sounds like people talking and maybe like I was listen to the radio. All preaty normal. I thought about a WILD attempt but decided that I just really need a nap.

OK sometime later I find myself in what I think is an LD but I am unsure. I was ridding a bycicle in Branson. I knew this was odd but and that it was a dream but I just thought it was more HI and it felt realy just like a daydream. Knowing this I go at and increadible speed like I was in a car. At some point my body felt like it was in a car. Then I started down a hill and I was going so fast that it turned my stomache upside down and my body lifted of the seat a little. I held tight to the handle bars and could really feel the foam on the handle bars. I was getting close to rear-ending a car so I hit the brakes like in I would in a car. This felt like a sensory overload and I felt like I was waking. I could feel my body in my bed. The scene wavered. I thought I was still having trouble sleeping so I kept my eyes closed and started to take control of the sene and what I wanted to do. This may have been a dream re-entry. The scene stablizes and I am back on my bike. I am peddling hard and I hear myself breathing hard. I am still thinking that I am just daydreaming but it is vivid. However, I am concentrating really hard to invent the scene but without much thought as to what I want to see. I look down the road it is empty and the road is going uphill now. The bike is going very slow. Wanting to go faster I summon a motorcycle. but thanks to this forum I know enough about summoning to invent a reason why it should be there for me to use. I think that some poeple have rode up and stopped and got off the bike. I look up and see a slick black crotch rocket parked on the road with a young man and woman standing beside it. I dont heasitate. I peddle up and steal the motorcycle. I pause of a split second thinking that I dont know how to ride one. But I know that I can just invent a way. I hop on and I can feel, not see, the people turn to look at me. I expect them to yank me off the bike but I take off fast and go down the road. I can hear the sound of the motor as I shift gears with my foot but I can't get the sound right and I try diffent pitches. Finally I just let it go with a high pitch winding sound. I try to make the motorcylce fly but this felt unrealistic and it did not work. Again I felt like I was awaking and the scene wavered. I shut that out of my mind and stayed in the dream. I did something that I had practiced before when attempting WILD. I bounced in and out for a second. See this post to explain. http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=39442
Now I had got off the road and was in the grass by a gas station. I just road around a bit enjoying the ride.

Suddendly, I am in my bed. I feel like am totally awake. I try to turn to look at the clock but I cant. I can;t even open my eyes. My whole body is paralyzed and I recognize this for what it is. Sleep paralysis. I dont panic but I hate being restricted in movement. I strugle and I finally get one eyelid to pop open. My eye felt out of focus but the view was normal and the lighting was right. I stuggled my whole body to move but I just could not. I had a hard time keeping that eye open. I thought to just relax and enjoy the experience maybe go back to sleep and dream some more. But I thought of my daughter and thought I heard her in her room and I really wanted to see what time it was. I was lying on my side and the clock was behind me. On top of that I was hearing an odd noise like someone a sitting in my computer chair. I heard the faint creak and ticking noise it makes when you shift your wieght. The computer was behind me to and I could not look. I got really scared and wondered who or what was in my room and what did they do to me to paralyze me. I started praying. Then I calmed down and remember reading that when you are in this state odd things can seem to happen. So I realaxed and waited. Then I tried to move again. I tried to lift my pelvis up and down and I began to make progress all I could do was sort of turn sideways in my bed and I could hear the sound of the covers as my body shifted. I saw my bare stomache as I looked down. I thought I could see my leg. Then I wiggled my toes and I felt the covers. My vision cleared some and I was looking at my arm still and I had not moved at all. I tried to lift my left arm. I felt it slowing come around into view. I still could not move my head. I saw it but It was ghostly and see through. I saw the dark marroon color of my sheets and blanket right through it. Reflexivly I took my right arm and grabbed my left. My right arm looked the same too. I wondered if I was paralyzed because I was partially out off my body like a partial OBE. I did not think to try and lift out of my body but thought more like I should try and get my soul back into my body. This was a confusing thought so I dismissed it. I decided to relax for a second and I let my eye close. I took a less direct aproach this time. I knew I could wiggle the fingers on my right hand and I could wiggle my toes. I did this for a while and then I tried to lift my pelvis up and down again. It felt like it was but I could see that I was not. The whole time my head felt like a lead weight that was cemented to my pillow. Finaly I felt like my whole body was slammed down on the bed and I jumped and turned. I had my body back and I was fully awake. I looked at the clock and I had only been a sleep for about an hour.

Computer Terminal
My wife, kids and I were going swimming. I had to register and this computer thing. I swiped a card and fiddled with a computer terminal on a post outside. It wouldn't work right I the whole thing was confusing. I saw Deanna run ahead. I was getting dark and I could see the twilight behind the trees. I chased after her and told Rachel that we would not have time to swim.

Beach
Suddenly we were at a beach on a lake. There was a crowed of people and we were all watching the sun set. It was beautiful. Rachel said "we almost missed it. Hurry up."Then everyone straightened their right arm with palms outreach like they were trying to touch the sun. Almost like a Hitler salute. They all sang a patriotic song. My wife sang along and I looked around confused by it. It started with "Father Abraham" (Lincoln) and talked about how great the country was. I can't recall the words. I could see the other people mouth the words as the music played from somewhere. Men women and children like in a church service. The sun went down fast. Faster than it should have. It became dark. I asked Rachel, "now that we found this place and it is in town do you want to come back?" She said, "I doubt it."

Car Wreck
Next I was driving back in my car from the lake but it was full daylight. I thought about the lake and how I would bring the girls back later. Rachel was following me in her truck. I was in deep thought and not paying attention to the road. I flicked cigarette ashed out the window. Suddenly, the road turned and I was going to fast. I break hard and lost control. I skidded off the road and slid sideways through a barbed-wire fence and came to a stop in a cow pasture. I looked at the fence and saw that I did not hit a post but the barbed-wire was broke in two places on both sides of the post I should have hit. I thought this was odd but dismissed it. I knew there must be scratches on the car but thought I could still drive it. I looked at the road and saw Rachel's truck drive past. I thought I would have to call her on the cell phone and tell her what happened. I looked out the window to inspect the side of the car. No scratches but the back tire was mangled and the rim was bent and the car would not go when I hit the gas. I thought the barbed-wire must have got wrapped around the tire. I got out and the front end lifted into the air and pivoted on that back tire. The car was now Rachel's truck. I thought this was odd surely I was in my car how was this Rachel's truck. I looked back over near the fence and saw a man standing by a tan-colored Silverado. He waved at me and smiled. I thought I would go over to him and see if he could help. I tried to get back in the truck to get some things I might need but as I did I stepped in come cow shit. I was cold and wet inside with a hard crusty out sid. I felt this on my right foot and knew what it was with out looking. I was able to grab my flip-flops out of the floorboard but I could not get in because the front end was up and swinging loosely. I put my shoes on and the whole time I am thinking that none of it made any sense. I wandered if I was dreaming. I told myself I would find out. I grabbed something out of the back seat. I turned as if I was going to talk to the man in case it was not a dream I would look foolish siting there doing an RC. I did however know that I could try to fly and not look too odd about it.

Lucid
I stopped, straighted and pushed off the ground with tremendous speed, Matrix style. The ground feel away from me so fast that I felt extra G's and vertigo. I was amazing and I felt excited. I said "I AM dreaming!" I was so high up that I was in the clouds. They were light and scattered like fog. I could see very little detail on the ground just the green and some brownish-blue spots of water. I fly down like on a huge swing. My stomach turned upside down and I laughed. I thought I might wake up. I knew I had to push that thought out of my mind or I would. I focused on the detail on the ground; grass, rocks, a stream of water. I forgot about waking. I few back up but backwards again like I was on a huge swing. I was back to the same hight. I pawed looked about at the ground and enjoyed the view. I felt free. I swing back down but this time I was coming head first into the ground. I thought I should stop myself but it was difficult. My first reaction was that it would hurt. But I knew I was dreaming and I let the dream flow. I did not want to force anything for fear that I might awaken. There was that thought again. I continued into some shallow water. I did allow the water to become deep enough to swim in. I stated to hold my breath but I found it uncomfortable. I took a deep breath of water. I told myself I could breath water like a fish. I was an odd feeling. I looked around and there was no detail under the water. Just a flat, smooth rock bottom. I thought now what. Suddenly and with out warning I woke up.

Recall Re-enter
When I awoke I do not move and did not open my eyes. I did my usually thing to remember the dream. I repeated a few key words to memorize and recall the dream later. "Truck and flying. Truck and flying." As I was doing that I thought it would also allow me to re-enter the dream.

SP
I started to feel the SP quickly work up my legs and into my arms. Then I heard a deep growling sound and I opened my eyes or perhaps my dream eyes and I saw a shadow of a grotesque monkey-like being. It was running from the door to my side of the bed. I wanted to scream "NO!" but it came out like an old man's dying whisper. When it got to my side of the bed I wanted to attack it. But I knew that I was in SP and thought that it might be Deanna and I did not want to hurt her. So I saw myself through the blankets over it but I knew that I could not move. A few seconds later I broke the SP and my body was tingling all over. My wife stirred next to me. I had thought that the growling sounded like it came from next to me. I asked Rachel if she was snoring. She said she didn't know but thought she was. I told her "I hope so". She was facing me and she fell back to sleep and exhaling heavily. My body was still tingling and I thought that with each of her exhaling breaths I could feel the tingling stir stronger. I still had not moved my body only my head to turn to look at Rachel. I thought about trying to re-enter SP but was scared to hallucinate again. Finally the SP wore off and I got up to shake the feeling.


Invisible man
Late this morning I dreamed that I was in a bathroom but there was a changing room. I saw an arm come out and heard a voice asking for help. I went over there and the man was go. I forgot what all he said but he was saying he was all F'ed up. I aske him if he was invisible or if he was the the dress room. He just said he was all F'ed up. There was a business woman in there. She got disgusted and talked off to use her cell phone. I told him that you don't F with a woman like that. The get cranky.

I was sitting in my room and Rachel and some friend of hers she looked Phillipino was sitting at the computer. I was looking at a Math 130 book.
There were equations like: angle 120 - angle 80. I was learning an odd way to subtract angles. The woman was doing the same on the computer but she knew all the answers without thinking about it. The computer was drawing a line that made two curves. It asked a question and the answer as "Put". Then it said something about finding an alternate source of energy by breaking a rule of conductivity. There was a bowl with a black think curved like a 'U' in bowl and the bowl was full of a liquid. Then something like a hockey puck was dropped in. It sank and then floated to the surface and fused with the ends of the 'U' shape. I could see a current of electricity disturb the liquid. I woke up.

I was planning on calling into work the next morning and I had this dream. I woke up and went to the store to buy some things. I saw several people from work there. I thought it was odd but I did not want to be seen. Then my wife passes without noticing me. I let her go I had something to do. Then the dream gets jumbled and I can really recall what happened. I find myself at a house and Rachel shows up mad as hell. She walks me to the truck. I feel very drunk. Then it looks like her parents house as we drive off and her Dad comes out to give me something. It looks like a tray of plums. I take it and start eating. Rachel say, "You just went way to far" I start thing and realize that I can remember much and start to freak out. I expect her to say something about being on drugs. She did not but I wondered if I had been drugged by someone and I halcinated and lived a full day thinking I was doing one thing but really did another. I just started asking "What did I do baby?" over and over but she would not answer me in from of the kids. She did say that I pulled my pants down in from of someone

Thats one of the things I want to do if I ever get properly lucid; matrix style lift off from ground!

FA 1 almost LD
I had txt'd Rachel to call me when she woke up. In the dream she just showed up at the house. I was very tired still. Something felt off and I wondered if I was dreaming. So I told her to lef me feel her thinking that if she didnt feel real I was dreaming. She laid next to me in bed and kissed me. Everything about her feel as real as could be. I ran a hand up her shirt and felt an thumb sized indention about a quarter inch think in her side. I just thought oh I dont like touching that.(She has no such thing but at this point I had already told myself I was not dreaming) We get up I start to get dressed up I am still really tired so I lay down on the couch. I get a txt msg. It say click her for a joke. I almost did not do it because of data charges but I was curious. It said, "How many people does it take to kill someone" I look up and see Rachel's brother appear out of nowhere. He was laughing. I look back at the phone and it said "2 people. Me and my brother" I start laughing too and said "Oh I did real the bottom part"

Now I go straight to FA 2
I though about the previous dream and thought to remember it. I think to look at my phone to see is Rachel txted me. The phone said miss call. I open it and it calls a number on its own. It as recording to sell me something and the phone get over taken by adware and I think there is somevirus to charge me money. I freak out but I could not close anything out.

Straight to FA 3
I wake up and look at my phone to see if Rachel txted me. I find my phone in peices and I jump out of bed freaking out saying "What the hell happened?" My leg feel numb and I crumble to the floor

Straight to SP
I immeaditly open my eyes wondering if I am haveing another FA. I notice I cant move and my body is tingling all over. This lasted for im guessing 20min. Everything was the same as before. I looked at the clock for proof that I was awake. I had to focus and concentrate on it to see it clearly but It read normal and said 8:22am which I thought was about right. At some point I thought I managed to get out of bed but looked and saw I had not moved. I started to experiement and play with it. I pulled the covers over my head. I felt them on my face. I even bit them with my lips. But I could feel the ceiling fan blowing on my face and I could see right though the blanket. I could see a shadow blob but it look shapeless and not scarry at all. I saw my ghost hands and I clasped them tightly. it felt so real. I rubbed them hard together. I felt the friction and heard the noise. Then I thought I could turn this into a LD. I closed my eyes and felt weightless. I felt like I was floating around the room. I pushed off my bed and did a slow summer sault. I open my eyes because I thought I had pulled a LD but found myself paralized in bed. The whole time I was in SP I could hear bits and peices from every talk radio program I ever listened to. I host voices were very acurate and I could understand most of the words. I thought it was odd but did not pay too much attention to it. Finaly I got real tired of it. I knew that I could wiggle my toe and fingers. I so just did that for a while and finaly and suddenly I was fully awake able to move. I looked at the clock it was 8:44 am.